


Cold-Blooded

by Brookeks



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Fluff, Help, Hurt, M/M, Slow Burn, except for the westallen kiss and barry screwing the timeline, mostly canon until s2ep23, villain is my OC
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-20
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2018-08-16 08:52:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 122,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8095816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brookeks/pseuds/Brookeks
Summary: One morning in fall, Barry enters the Jitters, not knowing that from this day on, things would change dramatically. When Leonard Snart invites him for coffee and asks for the speedster’s help, Barry says yes.But what starts as a merely professional agreement, soon turns out to be a lot more for Barry. He is constantly torn between his new founded affection for this man and the fear of betrayal. He knows he shouldn’t trust Captain Cold at all, and he most definitely could not fall in love with him. Or could he?





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! This is my first fanfiction, at least for this fandom, this ship, and on this website. Please feel free to point out any typos and misspellings, I try to catch them all while proofreading, but sometimes I miss some of them. The rating is set for the later chapters, where certain aspects of Barry's and Len's relationship get a little more graphic. :)  
> Thank you for reading, I hope you'll like it, and let the fun begin!

 

“And here, we have our probably most precious item. ‘ _The Rose of the North_ ’!”

The man with the sunglasses turned his attention to the young museum guide, slightly annoyed. But this was why he had come here in the first place, so he gar to sit this through.

The young museum guide stood on his tiptoes and looked at the audience eagerly. Next to him was a big glass vitrine with a beautiful silver necklace lying within. At first sight, it didn’t seem that special, just like an ordinary necklace with a huge pendant in the shape of a flower. Even the flower seemed ordinary. It had five petals and looked like it had been designed by a two-year-old. But if you looked closer, the necklace seemed to glow.

But that was just the first impression. It was a rainy day today, the sky seeming like a solid, gray ceiling. Only occasional, a ray of sunshine would interrupt this dull weather. And one of the rare moments was now. A faint beam of sunshine fell onto the flower pendant of the necklace and hit the small gems which were embedded in the petals. They had to be hundred, at least. When the flower had seemed equally dull as the weather before, it now suddenly sparkled and shone in a bright, emerald green. It laid on a patch of bronze silk that made it look even more beautiful – and expensive. After all, the price tag read fifteen million six hundred thousand dollars. But it seemed worth every penny.

For the first time during the exhibition, the man with the sunglasses turned his full attention to the museum guide. Unlike just seconds ago, he listened carefully to what the guide was telling.

“The ‘ _Rose_ ’ is made of two hundred and fifty Alexandrite gems, fifty per petal, with weighing only two carats each.” Now, the guide seemed to shake with excitement, as if he was hearing all this for the first time and wasn’t the one who was telling it. “The Alexandrite was first found in 1834 in the Ural Mountains in Russia and was named after tsar Alexander II. Maybe the fascinating thing about this specific gem is that it appears to change its color under the influence of light. Like here, we can see a nice emerald green. But look now –” He pulled a remote controller from out of his pockets and pressed a large button on it. The lights in the room were instantly dimmed. “The Rose glows in a beautiful ruby red.”

He had created the effect he wanted: the tourists aah-ed and ooh-ed at the sight of the necklace. The man with the sunglasses, however, rolled is eyes in annoyance but kept his gaze fixed on the necklace with an almost hungry look.

“Apart from red and green, the Alexandrite is also often found as a yellow, golden, brown or even pink stone, depending on the region. But in general, the way the stone was forged and made during the centuries is responsible this fascinating phenomenon. If the metal components change, the color changes.” He turned on the lights again.

“Well, this chemical trivia might be very interesting, but the Alexandrite, and with it, the Rose, is said to have special powers.” The guide wore an expression on his face as if this was the most exciting thing he had ever heard in his life. “In Russian legend, it is associated with discipline and self-control and can promote concentration and the ability to learn. It also is supposed to evoke the wearer to strive for excellence and increase self-confidence. But that’s not everything! Russian lore also states that the Alexandrite has special healing powers that will help the wearer to overcome illnesses."

Huh, superpowers. That was new. But not long, and then everyone would see that any kind of superpowers it had wouldn't stop it from being stolen. Again, the man with the sunglasses thought with a smirk.

“This specific necklace was made in 1952 by Joseph Quinn, as a present for his wife, Alexandra. Mr. Quinn himself was on vacation in St. Petersburg when he met Alexandra. They instantly fell in love, and for their wedding, he gave her the necklace. However, Mrs. Quinn only owned the Rose for about twelve days, when someone came to their mansion in St. Petersburg, stole it and murdered the new family. Tragic, I know!” He faked a sob. “Anyways, let’s keep going! We have a lot more here that is worth seeing!” He turned around, the group of tourists following him.

Except for the man with the sunglasses. He stayed behind, still staring at the Rose. It indeed was a little fortune and above all, very beautiful. Of course, he didn’t believe that the Rose actually had special powers or other crap like that. He was more of a rational person who concentrated on the facts. But he couldn’t deny that it was certainly appealing to own something which wasn’t only pretty and expensive but also had some symbolic character.

The man smiled. Soon enough, he would hold the Rose in his hands. It would be his and his alone.

 


	2. The Day The Flash Got Iced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonard Snart asks for an unusual favor.

 

_“Welcome to the end of eras, ice has melted back to life.” – Panic! At The Disco_

 

Monday, 9.30 am, The Jitters

It was a normal day in Central City. The morning dust was still hanging over the roofs as Barry rushed in his favorite café, the Jitters, to get his daily doses of caffeine. Of course, he was late again. He had overslept for more than an hour after he had been awake the whole night, finishing an important report on the recent case. It was due today and of course, he had pushed it away from him, thinking he still had lots of time to finish it until the Big Meeting was coming up. Naturally, he had waited until the very last day.

The Big Meeting – that was how Cisco called it. It wasn’t that big at all, just a normal meeting that took place every month with all police officers and basically everyone who worked for and with the CCPD. It was just that a lot of stuff had happened the last month. Two criminals tried to break out of Iron Heights, there were three house fires during the past twenty days, one bank robbery and three homicides. And all of these cases required forensic reports. (Of course, all criminals could be caught, except for one of the murderers who was still somewhere out there.) Barry, or more like the Flash, had done a good job in protecting his city. But between all this saving and analyzing the evidence from the crime scenes, he still had a family, friends and his work at S.T.A.R. Labs. With all that, however, some things had to stay behind eventually. This time, it was the paperwork.

The meeting started at 10 am today which meant that there was just enough time to grab a coffee and rush over to the station.

Barry got in the line. He probably also could have just sped in the Jitters and sped out again within a few seconds, but sometimes it was nice to just do normal human things. Plus, it was a lot politer as Caitlin had pointed out one time. Before he got hit by lightning, he hated people who cheated when he was waiting in lines and simply queue-jumped.

He looked at the big boards displaying the various drinks the Jitters offered. He had to smile. “The Flash” was still advertised in big letters on banners hanging from the ceiling; it even had a whole board for itself with a large drawing of the coffee and a smaller one of himself in the top right corner. On the one hand, it was a bit too much, Barry thought, but having a coffee named after oneself was also kind of really cool. And it was actually a really delicious drink. It was basically just a normal latté with as twice as much espresso as usual lattés (two shots!). The new thing, however, was that they had put a bit of chili in it to spice it up. This was very tasty, Barry thought, and a nearly correct display of himself. The extra espresso and the hot chili resembled his speed and the lightning around his body when he was running.

When it was his turn, Barry turned to the pretty barista, Jenna, who started working at the Jitters after Kendra had left, and ordered. “A large Flash for takeaway with a double shot of espresso, please.”

“Er, you know, the Flash already contains a double shot espresso. Do you mean that or four shots…?” Jenna asked him.

“I know. Four shots are exactly what I need right now.” Barry smiled.

“Okay then, coming right up” Jenna smiled shyly. She typed Barry’s order into the cash register and started making his morning coffee. While she was putting the grounded, brown beans in the espresso tin, Barry caught her throwing a shy glance at him with a coy smile. Barry smiled back, more out of politeness, actually, but Jenna instantly blushed and looked down at the espresso machine again. But Barry kept looking and he noticed how adorably cute she looked with the freckles on her nose and the ginger hair she had put in a bun. Well, pretty she was, definitely.

But suddenly, just as Jenna was pressing the button on the espresso machine, Barry got the feeling of someone staring at him, his neck prickling. Before he could turn around and give in to his slight paranoia, he heard a voice behind him and it was very hard not to groan in frustration as he recognized it.

“Could you make the Flash for here and add another, iced-Flash?”

Jenna jumped, startled, and Barry just rolled his eyes in annoyance as he instantly recognized this sardonic voice. And, seriously? Did he really have to make cold puns even when he ordered a coffee?

“S-sure.”

Barry turned to his right where the drawling voice came from. He had to suppress another groan as he saw his suspicion confirmed and started into the way too familiar set of blue eyes of Leonard Snart. “Snart. What on earth are you doing here?” he hissed angrily. Because, firstly, this was his coffee shop and secondly, he so did not need Snart to rob it, or whatever the man was up to, this early in the morning.

“Woah, easy. I buy you a drink. Am I not allowed to do that, Scarlet?” he said with a sly smile on his face, his eyes fixed on Barry.

“You – what?” Now Barry was just confused

“You pay for the two of you?” Jenna threw a curious look at Snart and her eyes wandered back and forth between him and Barry.

“Of course.”

“This would be $7.10, please.”

With a smirk, Snart handed over the money to the barista, his eyes still on Barry, and took both drinks. “Let’s find a table Barry, we have something to discuss.” With that, he turned around and walked straight towards an empty table by the window.

“Wha – Snart! What the hell? You can’t just –! Snart! Wait!” He smiled at Jenny apologetically before he turned around and stormed after the criminal with his face as red as a tomato.

Snart sat himself down lazily on one of the cozy armchairs in the far end of the coffee shop and took his iced coffee. “I can’t do what exactly?”

“Just come in here and – and buy a coffee and – No!”

“Calm down and sit, your coffee’s getting cold.”

“You’re unbelievable.” Barry dropped his bag on the floor and sat down on the opposite side. Provocatively, he leaned back and glared at Snart. He so did not need his morning ruined by Captain Cold. Or his week. “What do you want?”

“As I said, we need to discuss something. Plus, I’m not really a morning person so a coffee seems like a legit way to wake myself up.”

Barry still didn't move. He didn't buy for a second that Snart was just here to chat.

The thief rolled his eyes. “Barry, chill for a moment. I’m not here to embarrass you or to steal something. Well, not really.”

“What do you want?" he repeated, the annoyance now audible. "Make it quick, I have a meeting in half an hour.”

“Drink your coffee, I need your full attention.”

Barry narrowed his eyes but finally took his mug. He sipped a bit and immediately felt the boost of the extra espresso. His nerves prickled and he felt a lot more awake. Obviously, Snart seemed to have noticed. He instantly put on his usual smirk. “Thank you. Now, straight to business. I need your help with something.”

Barry thought he had heard wrong. Of course, he immediately burnt his tongue and almost choked on his coffee. For the first time today, he looked at Snart properly. The man looked like always: his hair was cut short with gray strands between the brown, but he still looked no older than thirty. He wore black trousers and a black henley underneath a – surprise – black leather jacket. The goggles for his cold gun hang around his neck. But no cold gun around his thigh. “You – what? How could I possibly help you?”

Lazily, Snart raised his coffee to his mouth and took a sip. With his eyes fixing Barry’s, he put his coffee on the table and continued. “I need you to help me steal something.”

Now Barry definitely choked. He felt his coffee coming out of his nostrils which wasn’t really something you’d call a pleasant experience. “You - You’re kidding, right?” he managed to bring out.

“Unfortunately not."

Barry raised his eyes in disbelief. "Why on earth should I help you with a heist? I'm the one who's supposed to stop you, remember?"

Now Snart rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Very funny, Barry," he drawled out. "Despite our truce, yes, this is your job. But you got me wrong, I don't need your help with a heist."

"Then with what else?"

Snart took several sips from his coffee, taking his sweet time. He let his eyes wander around the coffee shop, straying towards the door, the back exit, windows. Was he casing the place? Barry asked himself angrily. He almost asked that out loud, but then, finally, Snart put down his iced coffee and captured Barry's eyes again. "Some bastard stole my cold gun.”

Barry looked at him in disbelief. The cold gun? Someone stole the _cold gun_ from _Captain Cold_?

“Wait, so let me get this straight. So some criminal – maybe a rival of yours I’d guess – manages to find you in one of your hiding places, or safe houses or wherever, and steals the cold gun you forced Cisco to make for you. The gun you never leave out of eyesight, probably carry around everywhere and that can basically destroy a whole city. They, whoever they are, are therefore now in the possession of a highly dangerous, unauthorized weapon, hiding somewhere, highly likely to be stealing stuff and killing people.” Barry paused, noticing that Snart was clenching his jaw together. “And now you need my help to get it back?”

“Exactly.”

Barry laughed. “Wow, what a mess you’re in, Snart!” He had to put his mug down so nothing of the brown liquid would be spilled over him. “The big master thief Leonard Snart aka Captain Cold gets robbed by some mediocre criminal and loses his precious gun. Wow!”

“Do you think this is funny?” The usual drawl in his voice had vanished. Instead, it had reached a dangerous level of cold.

“Actually, yeah, I do!” No, he didn't, but the way Snart's expression went from annoyed to outrageous at his words was hilarious, and the irony in this situation was golden.

Snart leaned forward in his chair, placing his elbows on the table between them with a challenging look in his eyes. “Well then, let me get something straight for you. This isn’t the work of some ordinary criminal. Nobody, not even my sister, would be able to catch me off guard or even steal something. This man isn’t just some random guy. He –” Snart closed his eyes and exhaled loudly. He spoke more quietly now, the challenge in his eyes replaced by fierce determination. “One night, he broke into my apartment. Lisa was staying over and slept in the living room, so she was the first to wake up. My cold gun was lying on the table, it was easy for him to grab it. He took it, assuming my sister was asleep and tried to escape when she attacked him. She’s a good fighter, but he is an over six feet tall man with muscles like someone who drinks way too much protein shakes. She had no chance. That bastard fired the cold gun at her.” Snart stopped at this point and broke the eye-contact for a second.

Did his voice just really break or did Barry only imagined that?

“Your sister’s in the hospital?”

“Yes, alive but with second, third and fourth-degree frostbites.”

“Oh. I’m … sorry.” Suddenly, Barry was shaken with sympathy. Even though Lisa Snart was a criminal like her brother and sometimes not very nice, he still kind of liked her. Sort of. She was kind and definitely more sociable than her brother and not necessarily as mean as him. (Although to Snart's defense, Barry had to admit that his level on the villain scale was more a two to three rather than the 10 he had put him on when they had first met. Actually, Barry was sure Snart could even drop onto the hero scale, or maybe anti-hero, if he would just be willing to embrace the good that Barry was sure was in him.) Plus, Cisco seemed to really have a thing for Lisa Snart. “Are there chances of curing her?”

“Yes, although she will have permanent scars, but that’s not the point. I need my gun back. And I want revenge.”

“I think you’re qualified enough to steal the gun back. Why need me? And you surely don't want me to know that you're that you're committing murder so I won't have any evidence against you?” Thinking about Snart murdering someone again left a sour taste in Barry's mouth but there would be no way to prevent that, not if the guy hurt his sister. Surely that was what it meant when Captain Cold talked about revenge.

“You may remember I promised you not to kill anyone when I steal something. Well, I may not be able to keep my promise this time. This bastard half-killed my sister. And I will make him pay for that. No one – _no one_ – lays hand on her without consequences.” Barry gulped. “So. If you want me to be a good boy, you gotta make me. This time, just having my angel sitting on my shoulder won’t be enough.” He paused and stared straight into Barry’s eyes.He had to gulp again as Snart’s clear blue eyes met his hazel ones. He stared at Barry with such an intensity the speedster started to sweat under his magenta sweater. Captain Cold’s lips formed his usual smirk: “I need you to come with me in real life.”

Barry gulped audibly.

“So. If you want me to be a good boy, you gotta make me. This time, just having my angel sitting on my shoulder won’t be enough.” He paused and stared straight into Barry’s eyes.He had to gulp again as Snart’s clear blue eyes met his hazel ones. He stared at Barry with such an intensity the speedster started to sweat under his magenta sweater. Captain Cold’s lips formed his usual smirk: “I need you to come with me in real life.”

Barry gulped again. And stopped to think. This seemed like a cheap excuse. Snart would surely know Barry didn't bite this for a second, would he? So why not telling the truth right away?

He sighed. Helping Captain Cold stealing something? Helping him at all with something not so legal? And especially when he knew the guy was not telling him his true motivations why he needed his help? Not a good idea. “But why only me? Maybe with Cisco’s and Caitlin’s help, it’d be easier.”

“Because I don’t need them. Like you said, I can steal the gun myself alright, but I’m a man of my word which means I want to stick to the plan of not killing someone. Which is why I only need you to come with and prevent me from breaking our deal.”

Barry sighed again. This was definitely not a good idea. But, on the other hand, a man’s life was at stake. Kind of. Barry thought about what he would do if he was in Snart’s place and how he’d feel if Iris or Joe got hurt. He would definitely create havoc to save them and avenge them. And, maybe, when he decided to help Snart with this one, he could gain more intel into his plans for a possible future heist, or into his Rogues gallery. Maybe, if he played this right, he could turn this into an advantage for him. And Snart would owe him which was just something that played into Barry's cards perfectly. He could ask for a favor anytime, making the thief's life difficult ... This thought was definitely appealing.

“So you’re with me? Or not?” Snart asked.

Barry looked straight into his eyes, trying to detect any betrayal. But there was nothing, just the will to track the man down who was responsible for his sister’s fate. But it was Snart, he was sure he would be going to use him somehow. Well, two can play that game, Barry thought. “How do I know that you won’t betray me like the last time?”

“You don’t. I guess you just have to trust me.”

Barry remained silent for a few minutes and kept looking into the criminal’s eyes. Snart didn’t break the eye contact, in fact, he stared back at the speedster with such an intensity as if he wanted to freeze him just by looking at him. Barry accepted the challenge and they fought their silent battle for a few moments. Then he finally said: “Okay, Snart. I’ll help you.”

“Good. Come to the bar tonight, and I’ll tell you the plan.” With that, he got up and walked towards the door.

“Wait, Snart! Don’t just leave like that in the middle of our conversation! Who is that guy, anyway?”

“Tonight!” And with that Captain Cold left the Jitters. He definitely had a talent for dramatic entries and leavings.

Barry sighed for the third time. “Where did I get myself into?” he murmured as he emptied his coffee. This was definitely not how he planned his day to go.

Barry looked at his watch. It said ten past ten. He cursed and rushed out of the door. Of course, he was late again, and just because of some stupid criminal needing his stupid help. He already regretted agreeing to help Snart. With another sigh, he sped towards the CCPD.

 

 

10.10 am, Central City Police Department

Barry rushed into the police station. All officers and workers were already standing and sitting in a big circle, all facing Captain Singh who was already summing up the events of this month. Barry looked around and almost instantly spotted Cisco and his step dad Joe standing on the outer edge. Quietly he tiptoed over next to them and tried to look as casually as possible and if he had been standing there the whole time. He really didn’t need Singh to spot him and tell him off for being late again. But apparently, luck was not on his side today.

“Allen! Thank you for honoring us with your presence!”

Barry jumped. Everyone turned his face to him and threw him a curious look. Those who knew him also knew his annoying habit of never being somewhere on time. Some of the officers seemed to smile sympathetically. Being told off by the Captain in front of everyone isn’t exactly enjoyable and a lecture in punctuality was definitely coming.

Barry felt his face reddening again.“I'm sorry I’m late,” he said.

“What is it this time? Did your hair catch fire? Couldn’t you find matching socks?”

“I overslept and then I, uh, got held up.”

Singh just raised an eyebrow. “Totally. Well, it’s about time you train being on time or otherwise you will get into serious trouble someday.”

“Yes, Sir.” Barry looked on the floor. If the Captain knew who it was who held him up … What the hell was he thinking? Making a deal with Leonard Snart? Agreeing to help him? Seriously, dude, you need holidays when you even start developing a death wish and being pals with Captain Cold, Barry told himself. Captain Singh threw him a last stern look before he faced his officers again and continued on his report.

“Hey, Barry!” Cisco greeted him whispering. “Slept well?”

“Slept well, yes, had a good morning, not so much,” he said in a jovial voice, trying to joke, but failing miserably.

“Don’t be upset, next time you’re gonna be on time and there won’t be a reason for Singh to tell you off.”

“I don’t really worry about being late, you know. I’ve been late since preschool.”

“Yeah, I get that, that’s probably also why you’re so skinny!”

Barry punched him playfully in the shoulder.

“Allen, Ramon, please. You can continue your childish behavior after the meeting. I need your full attention now for the following matter.” They stopped instantly and tried to make a serious face.

“In the coming month, the ‘ _Rose of the North_ ’ will be exhibited in the Central City Museum. It’s a very precious necklace worth more than fifteen million dollars.” Some police officers gasped. “We expect that some criminals are going to try and steal it. The worst case would even be that Leonard Snart with the help of Mick Rory is going to go for it. It’s around half a year since their last heist so it’s highly likely. If this is going to be the case, we have to be prepared. Joe, could you please contact the Flash and inform him?”

“Of course,” Joe answered. Barry started to sweat again. He got a very bad feeling about this.

“Good. We still have those shields you once made Ramon, so they should help against Snart. With Rory and his flamethrower –”

“Heat gun,” Cisco corrected quietly.

“– we still have to think of a way to solve this problem, but something watery should do. And if we have the Flash backing us up, this shouldn’t really be a problem. We just have to make sure they don’t steal that damn necklace. The owner gave it to the museum only after I promised him it’d be safe here and nobody’d steal it, or worse.” Singh looked at the officers. “The exhibition starts in two weeks’ time and lasts until the end of January which gives possible thieves more than twelve weeks to get bad ideas.”

“We’ll handle it, Captain, don’t worry,” an officer said whose name Barry didn’t know.

“I hope so. We seriously can’t afford some master thieves like Snart stealing something so valuable. Now, to the events of last month.” Captain Singh continued on reporting what had happened.

The two criminals who tried breaking out of Iron Heights could be stopped easily by the prison guards; apparently, the attempts hadn’t been planned out correctly and they had been merely trying to see how far they could go without getting caught and put back into their cells. The bank robber was stopped by the Flash (although Singh gave himself and the police more credit than they deserved – it actually had been the Flash stopping the man and not the S.W.A.T. team and snipers. Barry had managed to convince the robber that it was a very bad idea to rob this bank and if he would continue to try it, Barry’d stop him anyway. After that, the man gave up, surrendered himself to the police and apologized for what he did. Apparently, his girlfriend had threatened him with leaving him if he wouldn’t earn more money, but his boss refused to give him a pay rise. It was an act out of desperation and love for his girlfriend, but in the end, it was in vain. He ended up in prison anyway and his girlfriend broke up with him.) Barry also helped to save the people from the house fires so nobody got severely injured. (The firefighters did a very good job themselves with extinguishing the fires, though.) It just really bugged Barry that he couldn’t find one of the murderers. A woman had killed her parents, leaving blood everywhere in the apartment. The homicide squad figured that it was an act of revenge, as her parents had given her up for adoption and apparently she now thought that they hadn’t loved her enough as a baby. But the police were on her trail and judging by the words of the leading detective, they weren’t far from turning her in.

While Captain Singh kept telling about the last month, Barry thought about his deal again. Seriously, what was he thinking? Leonard Snart lost his cold gun – oh, no, it got _stolen_ from him. Which was weird anyway. Snart was one of the most cautious and observing humans Barry knew. He never did something without a plan. Every detail had to be planned out perfectly, and every detail of the backup plan and every detail of the backup plan of the backup plan. After he got the cold gun, he learned how it functioned and how to convert it to his needs. When he broke into Barry’s house on Christmas, Snart had told him he upgraded it so that if he loosened his grip on the handle, the gun would explode. Barry never thought that Snart would let his precious gun out of his sight, maybe even take it with him into his bed when he went to sleep. But now, not only the cold gun had been stolen by some unknown criminal but apparently it had been lying around so it’d be easy for the thief to find it.

Maybe it was all just a trap. Maybe Snart knew the man who stole it, maybe he even let him steal it. If Snart had counted on Barry helping him, then maybe, just maybe, he and the thief had planned all this to lure Barry into a trap. They could finish him once and for all, and Snart could continue stealing whatever he wanted in Central City without fearing Barry would stop him eventually and put him into prison again. But then again, why risking that his sister could get hurt? Lisa was Snart’s weakness: he would do literally anything to protect her from harm. If she had been there at all on this evening, Barry told himself. Maybe that also was just a lie to arouse Barry’s sympathy. He definitely had to check later if she was really in the hospital.

“Barry? Barry! Hello-oo, Earth-One to Barry!”

Barry jumped when Cisco tapped on his shoulder. “Man, you were really out of it. What were you thinking about?”

“Nothing, really.”

“It didn’t look like nothing. The meeting is over since two minutes and you’d been standing here like you’ve been petrified.”

“I’m just tired I guess.” He yawned to make his point. No way he’d tell Cisco about his deal with Snart. His friend would send him directly to a mental asylum.

“Tired, yeah, I get it.” Cisco shook his head, laughing. “Anyway, you’re coming over to S.T.A.R. Labs later?”

“Sure.”

“Perfect, see you then, okay?” He waved and left for his own work.

Barry sighed. He made his way to his lab upstairs. After his work, he would check on Lisa first, and then go over to S.T.A.R. Labs and then meet Snart in the “Saints and Sinners”, apparently the thief’s favorite bar. Barry sighed again. He had sighed way too much today already. Well, that’s what you get when you make deals with your enemies, he thought, a lifetime of sighing. Barry felt that he started to becoming a headache. So far, he definitely should have stayed in bed today and avoided all the trouble.

He sighed and got to work.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the official first chapter of my (first) fanfic, I hope you liked it so far :)  
> As for the following chapters, I'll try to update weekly (but I can't really promise it, because I'm having my A-Levels in 215 days which means that I have a lot of learning to do and exams to write, but I'll do my best!).  
> And I wanted thank you for the kudos, I never expected to get 10 already! ♥♥  
> \- lots of love xx


	3. To Trust Or Not To Trust, That Is The Question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry considers Snart's offer while, truthfully, he has already decided.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for all the kudos, comments and bookmarks, this is just incredible! ♥♥♥  
> *puts plate of cookies for you all on the table* Enjoy this chapter!

 

_“You’ll think, how did I get here, sitting next to you?” – Twenty One Pilots_

 

4 pm, St. Andrews Hospital

The first positive thing about this day had been that his work as an CSI hadn’t been too stressful. All the criminals seemed to think that today was a good day to relax and do nothing which was against the law, so all Barry had to do was to finish the work from old cases. He was done one hour earlier than expected and had managed to do all the stuff he actually had planned to finish during the week. Before he had made his way to the hospital, he had stopped by the Jitters again to grab a coffee, this time without someone disturbing his peace.

Now, he was standing in front of the tall building and he emptied his afternoon coffee. Outside on the hospital’s lawn were a lot of families with their loved ones. Barry saw a young couple driving their daughter around in a wheelchair. By the look of her, Barry guessed she must have cancer. Which sucked, not only for the daughter herself, but for her parents. Barry hated hospitals.

He threw away the paper cup and entered the building. Everything looked exactly like he remembered it; everything was clean, sterile and kept in white colors. Doctors were running around, rushing into different rooms to visit their patients or to an operation. Nurses where hurrying around, taking orders from the doctors. But the worst was the smell of disinfectants and sick people. Barry felt confirmed again in his dislike for hospitals.

An elderly woman was sitting at the receptionist’s desk. She smiled at him friendly; like she wanted to encourage him to come forward. Confidently, Barry walked over. Now he would find out if Snart had told him the truth and his cold gun had really been stolen.

“Hi. I’m looking for a woman named Lisa Snart. Has she been brought here?”

The receptionist typed something into the computer. “I’m sorry dear, but we have no Lisa Snart here.”

“She supposedly has second, third and fourth-degree frostbites. Maybe she’s here under a different name?”

“I’m gonna check again.” She typed again and flipped through a handwritten notebook. “You’re right. A young woman by the name of Lisa Smith had been brought here around three weeks ago.”

“Great! Can you tell me which room she is in?”

The woman gave him a suspicious look. “If you’re not related to her, I’m afraid I can’t let you through.”

Barry sighed. “Please, Mrs –” he looked at her nametag. “Mrs Johnson. She’s the sister of a friend of mine. I was on a vacation in Europe for a month, so I just got the news. Please. Couldn’t you make an exception, just this time?” He grew so used to lying about his real identity, lying about a fake vacation wasn’t that much of a problem anymore.

“Alright. You seem like a decent young man. She’s in room 35, corridor D, fourth floor. But be careful, I don’t know if she’s awake. Her condition, however, is definitely unstable.”

Barry smiled. “Thank you, Ma’am.” He turned around and saw out of the corners of his eyes how the receptionist shook her head.

Barry went over to the elevator and pushed the “upwards”-button. But somehow he couldn’t wait, and the elevator took so long to arrive. He glanced over his shoulder, and as nobody was looking at him, he sped to the stairs and up to the fourth floor. Maybe one side effect of being the fastest man alive was the impatience for slow things like elevators.

He stopped in front of room thirty-five. Corridor D was nearly abandoned; he only saw a single nurse walking down the hallway. It seemed quiet here, maybe too quiet for a hospital. Almost like the people on this station were already given up for dead. Barry shook his head. Of course not, there weren’t given up for dead yet. Snart said that there was hope for his sister for a recovery, so she definitely wasn’t lost. If she was here at all, Barry told himself. There was still the possibility that Snart had lied to him, and that this Lisa Smith was just a woman called Lisa Smith and not the Golden Glider under a false name.

He turned to the door of room thirty-five and looked through the glass window. He wasn’t able to see the hospital bed from his angle. Which meant he had to enter the room. Barry sighed. Slowly, he pushed down the door handle and stepped inside.

The woman on the bed didn’t look like Lisa Snart at all. But at the same time, they shared way too many similarities: the honey-light-brown was still curled and lay carefully placed on the pillow around her head. Her blue eyes were closed, and she was scarily pale. She had an infusion needle sticking in her left hand which was connected to a big bag providing her with the supplements she needed. She really did look like she was dead, Barry thought. But the steady _beeeep beeeep_ of the heart rate monitor assured him she was just unconscious. Still, seeing this beautiful woman lying there like that in a hospital wasn’t something he was prepared to see; nor was he for the feelings that rushed over him.

The left side of Lisa Snart’s face was covered in blisters, and from her eye down to her collarbone, her skin was of red and blueish color. Her shoulder and her décolleté looked even worse than Barry could have imagined. Part of it was blue and seemed completely frozen or at least mummified. Other parts were black. Down her arm, the blackened skin seemed to peel off. Barry had to look away. He never thought he would see the Golden Glider looking like this. It was awful. He could only imagine what it was like for Snart to see his little sister in such a condition. Barry understood way better now why the other man wanted so badly to track down the man who did this to Lisa. If this had happened to Iris or someone else he loved … Barry wasn’t sure if he would have had the strength to put the man into prison and not kill him on the spot.

The speedster turned to Lisa again. He definitely had to do something. It was the only right thing. The man – this bastard – could not get away with that. “We’re gonna get him, your brother and I” he whispered. “I’ll help him track down the man who did this to you. And we’re gonna make him pay. I promise.”

He threw a last glance at her. With her image still on his mind, Barry quietly turned around and left the room.

 

 

4.15 pm, Leonard’s apartment

Leonard stood in front of his fridge, unsure what to eat. He had been up all day since five in the morning, planning his next heist. Although you couldn’t exactly call it a heist – he was just stealing his cold gun back.

His cold gun that that bastard had stolen. On that particular night, he had let his gun lying on the kitchen table. He had done his weekly cleaning to check if everything worked like it was supposed to. And you could never clean a gun enough. He didn’t want it to go off suddenly at the wrong moment or even backfire. So rule number one: always take care of your weapons and keep your guns clean.

But how could Nero know that on this exact night Leonard hadn’t had his gun lying next to his bed? The only logical explanation was that he had been spying on him. On _him_ , Leonard Snart. He still couldn’t believe it. And of all people, it had to be Nero. Of course. As if Leonard didn’t have enough reason to hate him already. But now, he had gone too far. Way too far. What he told Barry this morning had been true. He would do anything to make this bastard pay for what he did to his little sister.

Lisa. Already when they had been kids, he had sworn himself to protect her from any harm. He regularly took as many of her beatings as he could. (He couldn’t take all of them, though, but he had tried his best to protect her from their father’s anger and his “lessons”.) And even after, in their adult life, he managed to always have an eye on her, making sure she was okay. When they did a heist together, he ensured it would be at least 80% safe for her. She could cover the remaining twenty percent herself; after all, she was a hell of a fighter. And with her gold gun, she was even more vicious for their enemies. Only this one night, Leonard hadn’t been on time.

But there was no good on dwelling on what had happened. He had to accept it, he couldn’t change the past. He only could make sure that Nero wouldn’t see the light of the day ever again. Oh, and he would get his cold gun back. With that, Leonard was sure, Barry would definitely help. The kid had shown some doubt that morning when he asked him, even after he had agreed to do it. But Leonard knew that mentioning their deal would help. If there was something Barry obviously hated, then it was the feeling of having failed and not being able to save someone. (Even if that someone would have deserved it.) The argument of not wanting to kill him in order to keep his promise seemed to have convinced the speedster.

But why Leonard had asked Barry in the first place, he didn’t know. It kind of felt like he’d need backup on this job. Not backup to steal the gun, no, he was good enough. He needed emotional backup. After all that happened, with all the history, he somehow couldn’t do it alone. Especially not when the image of Lisa lying in the hospital bed, nearly dying and hurt by his cold gun, was still haunting him. Lisa was out of the picture for helping him, obviously. He still could have asked Mick, but then again he wouldn’t have kept his promise. With Mick on his side, he wouldn’t only have made Nero suffer, but Mick probably would have set his whole house on fire and everything would have gone out of control. No, Barry was definitely the smartest choice for a partner here.

Anyway, the first step was tonight. Then he would try and tell Barry his plan. Leonard smirked. Tonight was definitely going to be fun. Having the kid in the bar was always something nice. The Saints and Sinners was usually a hiding and meeting spot for all sorts of criminals or for people who chose their company. Barry with his good heart was as out-of-place there as Leonard was in a church.

Captain Cold turned to his fridge again and pulled out an already prepared sandwich.

 

 

8.30 pm, Saints and Sinners

Cautiously, Barry entered Snart’s favorite bar. He had been here two times so far, and he still didn’t quite like it. The strange feeling he got every time he had stepped in here maybe came because he didn’t belong here. He knew it, and everyone else in here knew it, too.

The bar was crammed full of biker gangs, some criminals (Barry was sure that he had seen some of the faces in the book listing every criminal Central City ever had), prostitutes judging by the look of the clothes they were wearing (or weren’t wearing) and other people who seemed like they could easily kill Barry if he only said one wrong word.

Barry gulped. It was crammed full in here, his chances of finding Snart were small. If he was there yet. It wasn’t that late in the evening, maybe he’d turn up later. Which meant Barry had to wait for him. Great. He scanned the room for his familiar figure, but he was nowhere to be seen. Great.

Barry still hadn’t moved far from the doorstep, when he heard an unfamiliar, deep voice addressing him.

“Hey kid,” a man said. Barry turned to his right. The guy who spoke was sitting on a barstool with a beer in his hands. In front of him were already four empty bottles. He was tall, had gray, greasy hair and was around fifty-five years old. He looked like a huge teddy bear dressed as a rocker with blue, torn jeans, big leather boots, and a sleeveless denim jacket. (Definitely a relic from the seventies, Barry thought). This definitely wasn’t Barry’s place.

“You don’t belong here. Aren’t you past your bedtime?”

Barry already opened his mouth to answer, when Leonard Snart stepped up from behind the guy and said, “He’s older than he looks, Dick.”

A feeling of relief flooded through Barry. Saved by Captain Cold. This day couldn’t get any weirder, Barry thought. His reaction must have been visible on his face because Snart just raised his eyebrows but didn’t comment on it. His usual smug smile appeared on his face.

The man, Dick, only grunted. “Ah, Len! Nice to see you again. How long has it been?” He opened his arms and pulled Snart into a big hug. Snart however, didn’t seem to like this at all. He patted Dick on the back and gently pushed him away. Now it was Barry’s turn to smirk. Cold must have seen it because he instantly threw him an icy look.

“Six months, eighteen days and approximately twenty-two hours,” he answered.

Dick grunted again. Apparently grunting was his initial response to everything, Barry thought. “Too long. So you know this kid?” he asked and jerked his head in Barry’s direction.

“Yes, I do. He’s here with me.”

“Oh, I see, you’ve found yourself a new boyfriend! He’s a bit too young for you if you ask me. And too skinny.” Dick let his eyes wander over Barry. After a few seconds, he was done with his inspection and turned to Snart again.

Barry’s face grew hot under Dick’s look. Boyfriend? What? He opened his mouth to interfere, but Snart was faster again.

“Which is why I’m not asking you.” His voice grew more impatient with every second. “And he’s not my date, we’re here on business.”

“Oh, yeah, I see.” He raised his eyebrows suggestively. “Business.”

Snart just snorted. “Anyways, it was nice to see you again. But now, if you excuse us, Barry and I have something to discuss.” Snart turned around without another word and gestured Barry to follow him. Barry did so gladly, but he still could hear Dick chuckle and mutter “business” under his breath in a tone Barry definitely did not like. If possible, his face turned even redder.

Snart led the way to an empty table in a deserted corner of the bar. He sat down on the bench and gestured Barry to take his seat opposite. Barry obeyed and slid down. “Who was he?” Barry asked immediately.

“And old … colleague of mine.”

“Why does he think I’m your boyfriend?” This came out a little hotter than planned.

Snart just eyed him questioningly. “Maybe because I'm pansexual and he thinks you could be my type? But it doesn’t matter. We’re not here to discuss mine and your sexual preferences, are we?”

Barry just snorted and leaned back in his seat. Although he surely could feel his face grew warm from what Snart just had implied.

“Good. Well, I don’t know about you, but I definitely could use something to drink, and maybe some food. What about you?”

“I’m good, thanks.” At that moment, Barry’s stomach gave a loud growl. “I’m still good.”

“Suit yourself. I’ll be right back.” With that, Snart got up and made his way to the bar. Great, Barry thought, now I’m alone again in this place. How lovely.

 

Five minutes later Snart arrived again with two beers in his hands. He handed one over to Barry and sat down again. “Cheers.”

He held his beer in Barry’s direction for him to tap his bottle against his own. Barry looked straight into the criminal’s eyes when their bottles made the familiar dull sound. Snart took three large sips before putting his bottle down.

“You know, this does nothing to me.” Barry waved with his beer. “My metabolism processes the alcohol too quickly before I can actually feel something.”

“You still can enjoy the taste.”

Barry shrugged. Snart wasn’t wrong. “So, to business. What do you want to discuss?”

“You definitely want to help, then?”

“Yes. To be honest, I didn’t believe you’d told the truth. I thought, maybe the stuff you told me were just lies and nobody stole the cold gun. I mean, it all could have been a trap, couldn’t it? Then, I went to the hospital and checked on Lisa. And … I’m sorry. Seeing her like this … I can only imagine how you must feel. If something like that would happen to Iris or Joe …” He didn’t finish his sentence but studied Snart’s expression instead. His face had been emotionless, but as soon as he mentioned Lisa, something seemed to move in his eyes. They had clouded for a second, sadness, anger, concern and something like … love flickering over them. But as quickly as the feelings had appeared, they were gone again. But Barry was sure he had seen them, and that was enough for him. Snart was serious about all this. He knew it now. “So yeah, I’m with you. I’ll help you find the guy who did this to your sister and get your gun back. I figured you owning the gun causes a lot less damage than it does in the hands of some unknown criminal.”

“Thank you, Barry.” His voice was deadly serious.

“But we won’t kill him. He’s going to prison for this, and he’s going to rot in there. But you won’t hurt him. Deal?”

“That’s why I asked you to help me in the first place. As much as I hate the idea of leaving him unharmed, I would kind of feel bad to break the promise I made you. Plus, if I’d kill him, you’d send my ass straight into prison which means I wouldn’t see my sister anytime soon.”

Barry had to smile. “You’re not wrong. That would be highly unpleasant.”

Snart had to smile a little, too. “So we have a deal.”

“Yes.” It felt final, but somehow Barry wasn’t scared anymore. What he saw in Snart’s eyes, even for just a second, looked so real, so pure. He seemed to regret what had happened that night and he obviously blamed himself. After all, it had been his cold gun doing the damage. And Barry knew how much he loved his sister and how far he was willing to go for her. What he had seen in his eyes, the _feelings_ , were indicators that Captain Cold wasn’t so cold after all.

At this moment, a bartender came to their table and brought some food: a burger and a pack of french fries. Apparently, Snart had indeed been hungry. The bartender placed the food carefully in front of him and gave him a smile. “If there’s anything else, I’m at the bar.”

“Thanks.” Snart picked out a crisp and carefully dipped it into the ketchup on his plate.

Barry threw a hungry look at the food but turned his face away almost immediately. Yet again, he hadn’t been fast enough, Snart had caught his eye. “Geez, just take some fries already, you look like you could eat a whole bucket full of them.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Barry, you should learn to lie better. This was awful.” He pushed the plate with half of his fries over towards Barry. “Eat.”

“You sure that’s okay?”

Snart just rolled his eyes. “Dick was right at one point. You are very skinny. And I’d bet that all this running around and saving people burns a lot of calories. So eat.”

“Thank you.” Barry blushed. He started eating, and the taste immediately spread in his mouth and made him realize how hungry he actually had been the whole time.

Snart put on his usual smug again. “You’re welcome, Barry.”

They ate in silence for a few moments before Snart began to speak. “So. To business. I won’t tell you every detail here, it’s too dangerous, we could be overheard.”

“Alright. First then: Who is this guy?” Barry had still his mouth full of fries which made it sound more like “Who ish dish guy?”

Snart twisted his mouth in disapproval but answered anyway. “His name is Nero Fitzgerald.”

“You know him? Because judging by the way you told me about this evening, you do. You knew how he’d look like although it was dark. And his height. And now his name. And I don’t think he’d walk into your apartment and be like ‘Let’s steal the cold gun from one of the best thieves in the world’ without hiding his face. Except for when he wanted you to recognize him which implies you have to know him.”

Snart put his half-eaten burger down. “You’re right,” he said carefully. “I know him. Or more like, knew him.”

Barry just raised an eyebrow.

“Let’s just say we … met in the past. We didn’t get quite along. I haven’t heard from him in years, neither personally nor on the news. I thought maybe he’d stepped out of the business and retired, found himself a new line of work.”

“Well, obviously, he’s still in the stealing game.”

“Apparently so.” Snart lowered his eyes and picked up his burger again.

In the meantime, Barry had finished his fries in high-speed but didn’t ask for anything else. This had been enough, and being in Captain Cold’s debt (even when this debt concerned food) was annoying enough. Barry picked up their conversation again.

“Anyways, do you know why he’d stolen it in the first place?”

“Maybe revenge? I messed up one of his heists once on purpose, he might hold a grudge. But I do intend to ask him when we confront him.” His tone became more and more sarcastic.

“Confront him?”

“Of course. If I were him, I wouldn’t let the gun out of my sight, especially not if I knew that I am the one he stole it from. I’m not exactly known for having a soft heart, Barry.”

“Yeah, you usually kill those you don’t need anymore, I know.”

“Not anymore, I told you I stick to my promise.”

“Yes, I know.” Barry rolled his eyes. He had brought up that promise way too often already today. But at the same time the speedster couldn’t help to feel surprised. At first, he had thought that the only reason Snart made that promise was to ensure Barry wouldn’t lock him up in prison. But now, even about two years later, Cold’s body count was still zero (as far as Barry knew).

Snart now had finished his food and picked up his bottle of beer instead. “The general plan is to catch him on the wrong foot, confront him in his apartment when he’s least expecting it. We have a huge advantage, which is you, although you won’t be able to use your powers.”

“Why’s that?”

“Do you really want people to see you hanging around with me? They’ll think the Flash is going rogue, doing stuff with Central City’s most wanted criminal. I don’t think they’d love their hero that much if they knew.”

Damn. Barry hadn’t thought about that. “You’re not wrong.” Again. He still could just come in casual clothes and use his speed, but then this man – Nero Fitzgerald – would know who was the guy behind the mask. “Doesn’t matter, it has to work anyway. It worked with your father too, so why not here?”

“Don’t remind me of that.”

“Okay.”

They were silent again. Barry took a few sips from his beer, just to have something to do. “Do you already know where he lives?”

“Of course, it wasn’t that hard to find that out. I have eyes and ears everywhere, which is also why I know nearly everything about you.”

“Which isn’t creepy at all.”

“Don’t worry, I don’t want to harm you in any way.”

“Sure. This is also why you keep stealing stuff and firing your gun at me when I try to stop you from stealing stuff.”

“This is part of our agreement, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

Snart chuckled. He actually _chuckled_. Barry thought he had heard wrong. “What?”

“Nothing. It’s just … I can’t really get used to the feeling of talking to the Flash and not threatening him at the same time.”

“That’s new for me, too.” Barry had to smile.

“Don’t flatter yourself, this ends as soon as I got my gun back and I see Nero’s ugly face behind bars.”

“Yeah, I bet you really must miss your job.”

“You have no idea.” Barry smiled again. Despite his first thoughts, this evening wasn’t as bad as it could have been. He had worse already.

He looked at his watch. Nearly ten pm. Time to get home, or Joe or Iris would ask too many questions about his whereabouts.

“Time to go to bed?” Snart asked smugly.

“Not that, but I don’t want Iris and Joe to get suspicious.” He rose up from the wooden bench.

“Yeah, that wouldn’t be good.” Snart reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. “Come to this address tomorrow. I’ll tell you the whole plan there.” He stood up as well and made his way to the bar. Over his shoulder, he called, “Next time, you’re paying!”

“Thanks for the dinner!” Barry answered. He smiled and passed the bar. Snart was already ordering heavier drinks when he left. The small piece of white paper was safely put in Barry’s pocket and as soon as he was sure nobody would see him, he sped towards home. This evening hadn’t been so bad indeed.


	4. The Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The planning begins.

 

_“Welcome to the new age.” – Imagine Dragons_

 

Tuesday, 9 am, Central City Police Station

Unlike yesterday, Barry managed to get to work on time. Somehow after the events of the previous day, he couldn’t sleep last night. He had spent hours awake, rolling over in his bed and not being able to find a comfortable position to sleep in. His deal with Snart was stuck in his mind, one half of his brain making suggestions about what would happen in the future and telling him off for being so stupid. The other half however stuck to the opinion that how he had decided was the only right way. Lisa _was_ hurt, there was no denying it. But helping Snart cleaning up his mess was a completely different story.

The battle of those two thoughts had lasted until four in the morning. By then, Barry was so sleep-deprived his body and mind basically shut each other out. Way too early, Joe had woken him up again a few hours later.

Now Barry was standing in his office, mixing chemicals and analyzing the evidence from the still unsolved murder case. The homicide squad had the idea that maybe they’d missed something, some trail they hadn’t covered yet. They’d put all the work onto Barry because he, as a CSI, was probably the one who had missed something (according to them). Barry, however, hadn’t missed anything, he was sure of it, but he did the work anyway, mainly to keep his mind occupied. Plus, getting the homicide squad in an even worse mood than they were already in wasn’t really appealing.

While his computer was checking for possible matches on the fingerprints that were on the crime scene, Barry looked outside his large window. Fall was slowly reaching Central City. The sky had already been gray for days and now somewhen during the night it had started to rain. No heavy rain, just a soft drizzle. But that was enough to bring up all the fall feelings. It was the time for apple pies, pumpkin spice lattés and cozy nights at home. (Barry knew for a fact that Iris was going to make an apple crumble for dessert tonight. This thought made him smile.)

He turned to his computer as it made the familiar ringing sound of having found results in his search. But of course, the only person matching the fingerprints was the daughter. Barry groaned. She hadn’t been too careful of wiping them, they had been literally everywhere on the crime scene and so clearly it was hard to find any other evidence. But Barry had done his best, and the detectives responsible had to work with these results now.

Right in this moment, Joe walked in Barry’s lab with a two mugs of coffees in his hands. “Hey Barr,” he said in his usual joyful voice. “How’s it going?” He handed Barry one of the coffees and he took it gladly. He was still tired as hell.

“Not as fast as I wished it would. I still have only this daughter as a potential suspect. Hers were the only fingerprints I could get, and there were lots of them.”

“Well, there’s nothing you can do about it. You did your job, figuring out the rest belongs to them.”

“Yes, I know.” He rubbed his eyes.

“You didn’t sleep well last night?”

“Not really. Joe, do you know a guy named Nero Fitzgerald?” This idea had just occurred him. It was a bit risky, yes, but Joe could know something that would help him to prepare himself.

“Nero Fitzgerald? No, not really. Why do you ask?” Joe eyed his adopted son suspiciously.

“Just curious.” Joe could definitely never ever find out about this.

“Wait, the name rings a bell. Nero Fitzgerald … I think he was a thief as far as I remember.”

“Was?”

“Well, I’m not really sure, but he committed his first crime here in Central City in 1999. Stole something on the Silvester night. I think a few officers were killed during the process, but I’m not sure about the details. Anyway, he has never been seen again around here after that. Snart and he must’ve not gotten along so well as Central City is his stealing ground since … well, basically since he was born.”

“Just out of curiosity, when was he born? Snart, I mean.”

Joe laughed. “You’re chasing after Captain Cold for more than two years now, and you’re asking now?” He smiled. “Snart junior was born in 1972.”

Barry’s eyes went wide. “He’s forty-four?” Joe nodded. “Wow. I’m regularly being tricked by a forty-four-year-old.” Barry shook his head in disbelief. “I actually did think he was younger. He doesn’t look like it.”

“Maybe that’s his secret to always outrunning the Flash,” Joe said nastily.

Barry just threw him a dirty look. “Ha-ha. Very funny.”

Joe laughed and got up from the table he had been sitting on. “Well, I gotta go back to work. See you later, Barry!” He ruffled through his son’s hair and left.

Barry just shook his head. “Forty-four,” he murmured. He couldn’t believe it.

Still, he got a bit further on his case at hand. Apparently, Nero Fitzgerald had been a criminal and a thief too. He might not have been too active here, but there were enough cities, banks, and museums in the states he could rob. Maybe he should ask Oliver if he knew something? However, he scraped that idea again almost immediately again. The last thing he needed was a suspicious Oliver on top all the people who would get suspicious anyway. The next evenings, he would be coming home late, without any good excuses where he had been.

Barry sighed. He’d be lucky if nobody would ever found out about this deal and the gun would go back to his rightful owner. (“Rightful,” Barry thought, as rightful as you could call Captain Cold that). But knowing him and his luck lately, it wouldn’t turn out this easy in the end.

He printed out the results of the fingerprint test and made his way downstairs. Time to get back to work. He would deal with this other issue when it was time for that. There was no need to rack his brain now.

 

 

12.07 pm, St. Andrews Hospital

Leonard sat on the side of his sister’s bed. He held her hand in his. It was cold, and although this usually didn’t bother him, he felt alarmed. He was supposed to be the one with a lower body temperature than usual, not his little sister. She was supposed to be full of warmth, full of life, full of kindness and full of villainous sweetness. But now, she’d been corpse-like for three weeks. Even after those three weeks, the doctor had no success. Her body cells were so severely damaged; it was a surprise that she was still alive. Even her internal organs had suffered from the extreme cold she had been exposed to when Nero had fired Leonard’s gun at her.

She was going to survive, yes, that was something the doctors were able to confirm him. But Lisa had fallen unconscious the second she was hit, and the doctors had put her in a medically induced coma to give her the possibility of healing. They didn’t dare to wake her up until she was stable enough. The doctors also had never seen frostbites like this and when they asked how she got them, Leonard had to improvise. Should he have told them that it had been his cold gun that had frozen her body cells to the absolute zero? No, their loyalties lay with the police and with the law, they’d have sold him out to the police the second he’d left the hospital; medical secrecy or not. And in Iron Heights, Leonard would be no use to Lisa.

As much as he hated admitting it, he needed Barry. He was, sadly enough, the only person he could entrust with something like this. As emotionally compromised as he was, he couldn’t act rational, and acting rational was rule number one; his father had taught him that. No emotions, because emotions made a man weak. And a Snart is never weak.

Yet Lisa was his soft spot. He had practically risen her on his own after his father had developed into an even worse asshole after he had been to prison. Lisa was the only person Leonard allowed himself to have feelings for in any way. (And Mick. But that definitely was it. And he didn’t want the Flash to die, but that was only because since he was out there, stealing and robbing became even much more fun.)

“My baby sister,” Len whispered and gently stroked her head. “I’ll get Nero. I have help. You’d like him.” He had to smirk. If Lisa only knew. “He’ll make sure I stay on the path and will be there when you wake up.”

He kept sitting by her side for seven more minutes, softly caressing her hair. Then he got up and left the hospital. He still had a lot of preparations and planning to do for the evening before Barry would turn up.

 

 

7 pm, Leonard’s apartment

_66th Oak Tree Avenue, #717_

Snart has written his address very carefully on the white piece of paper in a clear handwriting. (For this, Barry had to give him credit: his handwriting was excellent, he could read everything, very unlike when he wrote something down and tried to decipher that later.) It was a huge apartment building on the outer edge of Central City, placed on a hill. Barry could imagine the nice view the criminal must have over his beloved city.

He didn’t know what to expect of Snart’s apartment or of the evening in general. He was sure, however, that the criminal already had planned out everything very detailed on how to get back his precious gun, like he always did. Barry smiled. Since he was chasing him at his heists, his plans had never turned out the way he wanted them to be. Barry was the unknown factor Snart couldn’t really calculate and the fact that Barry knew that made him furious.

With a smile on his lips, Barry entered the apartment building. I was kept in a simple style: the floor was covered in gray linoleum, the walls had a sterile white-ish color. There were two pot plants standing next to the elevators, and a large palm tree decorated the right side of the lobby where the letter boxes were embedded in the wall.

Barry took the elevator to get upstairs (there might be someone seeing him racing upstairs, and he obviously wasn’t wearing his Flash suit to hide his identity). Inside, he pressed the large button with the number seven on it. Slowly, the elevator gathered his speed and went upwards. Way too slow for Barry’s taste, but better safe than sorry.

The seventh floor was a large corridor extending itself to both sides of the elevator. Barry looked around, trying to find Snart’s apartment. It turned out to be the last on the right side, next to a big window. Standing in front of the door, Barry suddenly grew nervous. He would be entering Snart’s personal demesne, a place no one except his sister or Heat Wave had probably ever been in before (and came out alive again).

Barry took a deep breath and knocked loudly on the wooden door. He had counted to three when the door was opened. Captain Cold stood on the threshold, looking like always. He wore a dark gray sweatshirt, a pair of black denim jeans and black socks. No shoes, Barry thought surprised.

“Well, hello Barry,” Snart greeted him with his usual smirk. “I didn’t expect you to turn up this early, I thought you’d be late again.”

“I’m trying, alright? I haven’t been late the whole day,” Barry answered grumpily. Now even the criminals were familiar with his annoying habit.

Snart just laughed. “Come on in, then. You look good, by the way.”

“Er … thanks, I guess.” Barry’s cheeks turned pink. Somehow, the older man always managed to make him feel slightly uncomfortable lately. Snart just smirked again as Barry made his way into the apartment. He closed the door behind him but left it unlocked.

Barry looked around, trying to take everything in he saw. Snart’s apartment was exactly the opposite as he had pictured it: it wasn’t dark nor was it kept in black colors, but the furnishings were stylish, something between vintage and modern. The walls were of a light brown, perfectly matching the wooden floor. The apartment had three rooms as far as Barry could see: the large room he was currently standing in functioned as both kitchen and living-dining room. On the opposite side of the door were the kitchen facilities, made of wood and kept in brown colors. Above the sink and the countertop was a huge window, providing a magnificent look over Central City. Right next to Barry stood a cozy-looking, cardinal couch facing a large TV. Between the couch and the kitchen was a mahogany table on which a lot of white paper, plans, and other stuff was spread on. In fact, not only on the table but nearly the whole floor was covered in paper. To his left was another door, kept in an Asian-like style. Barry could see a huge king-size bed through the glass of the door and another room which was probably the bathroom.

“Wow. Your apartment is … actually really nice.”

“What did you expect? To look like a warehouse and cliché-criminal like?”

“To be honest, yes.”

Snart smirked. “Just being a criminal doesn’t mean one can’t have style, Barry.” He walked past Barry and leaned himself against the table. “So, you want to stand here the next three hours or actually get something done?”

Barry threw him a nasty look which was answer enough for the other man. “Good. Then put off your shoes and be careful where you step on. I don’t want my plans to fold or get dirty. Then I’ll tell you the plan.”

 

***

 

Three hours later, they were finally done with discussing their plan. They had been sitting on the floor, and Snart had explained everything to Barry: Nero’s usual daily routine, the place where he lived (he even had the blueprints), possible emergency exits, ways to escape via the ventilation system, and so on. Barry’s head was buzzing with the quantity of information he gained. One thing he definitely had learned: Snart was very, _very_ thorough when it came to planning a heist.

“Let’s just recap again: What exactly is the plan?” Snart asked Barry for the thousandth time in his drawling voice.

“On Friday, I come here at nine in the morning. I don’t wear my Flash suit, but some dark, warm clothes that might help in case that Nero guy fires the gun at me. We go to his apartment and we have to be there at exactly nine twelve. This gives us one hundred and eighty seconds to enter his apartment, look for the cold gun and if it’s not there, position ourselves somewhere he can’t see us but we can see him. He’ll arrive at nine fifteen, then he’ll go straight to the bathroom to take a shower. This is the moment we’ll confront him and take back the cold gun. We’ll make him talk, recording everything with a tape strapped to my body – again, why does it have to be me who is the human recorder?”

“Because,” Snart said and got up, “your reflexes are better and if he tries to shoot you, you can dodge more easily than I can.” He screwed up his face in pain as he leaned against the table.

Barry laughed. “Getting old?” he teased him.

“Too old for sitting on a hard floor for hours, yes, but not too old for my job; don’t get your hopes up. Unfortunately, the secret of everlasting youth hasn’t been discovered yet.”

“Actually,” Barry said with a grin on his face, “we're not entirely sure if I can age.”

There was a small shocked silence.

“I mean, it's just a theory. The speedforce stops my body from aging, my body cells renew themselves constantly, that's why I heal so fast. So at some point, we, or more like Caitlin, asked herself if it's possible that, due to this effect, I can live forever? It's unlikely, yes, but not entirely absurd.”

Snart frowned a little and shook his head in disbelief. “Is there anything in this world you can’t do?”

“I’m not that good at lying, to be honest.”

Snart tilted his head. “True. And I’m not old yet, just to clarify that. I’m still young enough to beat your lame ass and escape every time.” He smirked again.

“You’re forty-four, that clarifies as old enough for me,” Barry teased.

“And you’re what, kid, twelve?”

“Twenty-seven.”

Snart groaned. “I’m old enough to be your father.” He shook his head. “Anyways, just another reason why you’re going to record Nero’s confessions.”

Barry just rolled his eyes. “Fine then, I’ll do it. I record his confession on the tape, then you knock him out – and only knock him out, I don’t want a dead body I have to explain to Joe.”

“Yes, we went through that, I won’t hurt a single hair on his ugly head.”

“Good. Then, as the Flash, I’ll drag him to the police station together with the tape. I’ll let you run away with the gun, tell the police I couldn’t catch you but brought at least Nero. He’s going to Iron Heights for possessing an unauthorized weapon, several robberies, and other bad stuff, you have your precious gun back and Lisa will be better. Then we’re all happy again and go home for dinner.”

“Good, you got the plan. And remember, you must not, under no circumstances, use your super-speed. Nero might seem a bit dumb to you when you first see him, but he is one of the most intelligent persons I’ve ever met. He’ll make the connection between you and the Flash, especially because your mask isn’t really effective for someone who knows both of you.”

“Yes, I already got it the first twenty times you told me that. No speed. Noted,” Barry said annoyed.

“Good. And now tell me about the backup plan.”

“Geez, Snart, I know the freaking plan. And the backup plan. And the backup plan of the backup plan.”

“Barry,” Snart said warningly.

“ _Leonard_.”

They stared into each other’s eyes for a few moments, fighting a silent battle of will again. After a few seconds, Snart gave in. “Fine. But if anything goes wrong and you don’t remember what it was you had to do, I’ll kill you.”

“I know. I know. Stop worrying, it’ll work. When has one of your plans ever not worked out?”

Snart smirked in response, “All of my plans as long as you play along.”

He grabbed a piece of paper and a pen. He scribbled something on it, and then handed it to Barry. “In the case of emergency.”

Barry looked at it questioningly. “Your phone number? Seriously? You know, with that I could just track you wherever you are and put an end to your stealing days.”

“You could, but you won’t. Without me, your day would be so boring.” Snart had put on a smug grin again.

“There’s enough stuff happening, trust me.”

“Don’t you ever get tired of always being the hero?”

Barry thought about that for a moment. “No, not really. I get to help people, save people, make their lives better. It’s great. I wouldn’t want to miss it. Don’t you ever get tired of being the villain?”

“No, not really,” Snart gave as a snarky response.

Barry just rolled his eyes. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Thank you.”

The speedster threw a look at his watch. “Shit.” It was half past ten.

“Time to go to bed?”

“This joke hadn’t even been funny the first time.”

Snart just smirked. “Sleep well, Barry, and be on time on Friday.”

“I will.” And with that, Barry raced home.

 

***

 

Leonard just leaned against the table and looked at the place where Barry had been sitting for the past few hours. Having him around was nice, he radiated kindness and had that confidence in Leonard’s plan he couldn’t muster himself. There were too many things that could go wrong, but he didn’t dare to think about it. He had to believe in the plan like Barry did. It all had to go well. He had to believe that.


	5. Nero Fitzgerald

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their plan is set into motion, and Barry discovers an unlikely attraction.

 

_“Never more to go astray; this will be the end today of the wanted man” – Styx_

 

Friday, 8.55 am, Leonard’s apartment

Barry never thought he’d be too early somewhere. But apparently, it still was possible. He had set five different alarm clocks this morning, just to make sure he would manage to get up on time to be at Snart’s.

He was standing again in front of the wooden door with the number seven hundred and seventeen. Before he knocked, he looked down at himself. He had decided for normal sneakers, those which had proven to be the only ones that didn’t burn when he was running at his usual speed. He wore a pair of black pants and a marine blue sweater with a black shirt underneath. It looked okay, nothing special, but dressed this dark kind of made him feel more like a criminal than someone who worked for the CCPD.

Barry raised his hand to knock when the door was opened. Captain Cold was smirking at him. “On time. I didn’t think this was possible.”

“Me neither.”

Snart moved away from the doorframe and made a gesture like a gentleman from an old movie to allow Barry inside. He passed, but he could feel the criminal’s scrutinizing look.

“Ah, I see we’re matching.”

“What?” Barry looked at him in confusion, but realized a second later what he had meant: Snart too was wearing a marine sweater and black trousers. The only difference was that he had decided for black boots, his leather jacket and a holster with a gun inside around each leg.

Snart just smirked. “I believe your foster dad taught you how to shoot?” He made his way to the kitchen table.

“Yeah?”

“Good. Because you’ll need this. Just in case.” He was handing Barry another gun with a fitting black holster.

“Oh no, no way I’m carrying this.”

“Barry, please. You need to protect yourself, I won’t do it.”

“I can dodge bullets, you know.”

“Yes, I do, but remember that you shouldn’t use your Flash abilities when Nero could see it. So just take it, and we can continue with the plan and bug you.”

Barry gave him a stern look but took the weapon anyway. He swore himself not to use it, emergency or not. Of course, Joe had shown him and Iris how to use a gun, he believed that there would come a moment in their life they’d need it. (Iris already had experienced that moment.) Barry tugged the gun inside the holster and turned to Snart, who was already preparing the recording tape.

“Come on then, kid, put off your shirt, I need to tape this onto your body.”

Barry did as he said, but he couldn’t help to feel a little uncomfortable. On Tuesday, he hadn’t really given this a second thought, but now he kind of felt somewhat self-conscious. He still was skinny, and next to Snart with his broad shoulders and his pectoral muscles slightly visible under the tight sweater, he only felt thinner. But there was no use, he had to do it. Barry pulled his sweater over his head and started to unbutton his shirt.

“You’re wearing two layers?”

“Yeah?”

“You’ll have to leave one here, or otherwise the tape won’t record properly.”

Barry made a face at this. “Is this really necessary?”

Snart just threw him an annoyed look.

“I guess so,” Barry sighed.

As soon as he was finished, Snart came up with the recording device and a roll of white tape as it was sometimes used by doctors. He looked down at Barry’s torso, his eyes slowly wandering over every inch of free skin. Barry gulped. Without making any comment, Snart carefully placed the recorder on his upper stomach. When he fixed it on his body with the white tape, Snart’s fingers softly brushed over Barry’s skin. The speedster had to shiver.

“Cold, Barry?”

“No, not really. Actually, your hands are warmer than expected.” And that was true, although it wasn’t the relative chillness of Snart’s skin that made him shiver. Every nerve seemed to prickle under the soft touch of his fingers. Barry could feel his face redden under this thought.

That was weird. Just weird. They were just fingers, attached to a hand belonging to one of his arch-enemies. There was no reason why they should cause such a reaction in Barry. He looked down at the recorder. Slowly, Snart was fixing the thing, pressing the tape against his body with the palm of his hands. They were cold, yes, but it didn’t feel uncomfortable. On the contrary, it was actually a very pleasant feeling, the slightly colder skin of the other man against his own.

“This should do,” Snart said and stepped away.

Barry exhaled loudly, he hadn’t realized he was holding his breath until now. “Thanks,” he said pressed. He slipped his sweater over his body again, happily to have some clothes hiding his naked torso.

Snart however, shook his head. “This is too tight; he’ll be able to see it.”

“This is the largest sweater I have!” Barry protested.

“Doesn’t matter, it’s still too tight. We can’t go outside like this; Nero will know what’s up the second he lays his eyes on you.” With that, he turned around and vanished into his room.

“What are you doing?” Barry called after him, but Snart was back again with a large, black sweater in his hands, waving it in front of Barry’s face. “Oh no, please don’t tell me I have to do what I think you want me to do.”

A smug appeared on Snart’s face. “Don’t give me ideas, Scarlet. No, I just want you to put that on.”

Barry protested at this, but he was cut off almost immediately. “We have to leave in two minutes or we won’t be there on time, not even with you carrying us there. So just quit it, put that damn thing on so we can get going. I want my gun back.”

Barry still didn’t make any attempts in taking the sweater Snart was handing him.

“You can put if off as soon as we get back here in about forty-five minutes.”

Barry threw him a last dirty look but finally took the sweater grumpily. “If anybody ever finds out about this …”

“Yeah, I’m totally gonna tell my criminal pals that the Flash and I are besties,” Snart sarcastically. “Just get over with it and put it on already.”

Barry undressed and redressed himself in high-speed. The sweater was definitely too big for him, but it concealed the recorder, which was the only thing that mattered for the moment. (And it was cozy, Barry thought, and it smelled good, but there was no way in hell he would admit that.)

“My stuff suits you,” Snart smirked.

“Shut up. Let’s go, we have a job to do.”

Snart laughed. Barry took that as his cue and grabbed Captain Cold around the waist. A second later, and he was running towards Nero Fitzgerald’s apartment.

 

***

 

Snart groaned as soon as Barry put him on the ground. “I still have to get used to this,” he murmured.

Barry just smiled. “You know, this was by far not the fastest I can run.”

“Shut up,” Snart snapped, “we have a job to do, remember?”

“Yeah, yeah, chill. We’re right here, in front of his apartment, and we’re on time.” They were indeed standing right in the hallway, in front of the door that was the entry to Nero Fitzgerald’s apartment. Snart had checked before that there were no security cameras so that they could safely flash up directly to the apartment.

“It’s a miracle how we managed that.” Snart turned away from Barry and took a lock pick out of his pockets. He started fumbling at the lock, and a few seconds later, it made _clack_ and the door opened. Exactly as Snart had predicted, Nero’s apartment was empty.

It was 9.13. One hundred and twenty seconds left.

“You think it’s safe – ?” Barry started.

Snart looked around and answered, “Yes, no cameras here. Hurry, Barry.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. Barry raced around the apartment, only leaving his yellow lightning behind. Two seconds later, he was standing in front of Snart again. “It’s not here.”

“Thought that much.” He looked at his watch. “Ninety-three seconds. Hiding place, now.”

They hurried off, Snart in the other room, standing right in front of a big glass cupboard. Barry hid on the opposite side of the room behind the kitchen counter. From this position, he couldn’t see the door, but he had his eyes on Snart (he couldn’t see Barry from his position, though, but that wasn’t necessary). If Nero would enter, he would be standing right behind Barry, but he was just the backup anyway. Nero’d spot Snart first and focus all his attention on him, that was the plan. Barry’s function was merely to record everything, or initiate their backup plans if they needed to.

Seventy-five seconds.

“Get ready, Barry,” Snart whispered.

“I am.” Barry looked over at the criminal. “It’ll work, okay? Just think positive.”

Snart snorted.

“It will. Have some faith.” Barry eyed him up. He had never seen Captain Cold so anxious. Something was up. Definitely.

Fifty-six seconds.

“Thank you, Barry. For helping.”

Barry just smiled sympathetically. Now, he grew nervous, too. He took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. Snart kept his gaze on the door and held one of his guns in his hands, just in case. The seconds dragged on, seemed longer than they actually were. But at the same time, Barry felt like time was flying: There was only a moment left before Nero would enter the room.

Five seconds.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

 _Clack_. Snart lifted his gun soundlessly as the door was quietly opened a millimeter. And then there was silence again. Even a few moments later, Barry couldn’t hear anything and he started to wonder where Nero had gone. Was he still standing on the doorstep? Then, suddenly, he felt an excruciating pain on the side of his head and everything went black.

 

***

 

“Don’t you think it’s a bit impolite to bring a new lover to your ex-boyfriend’s home, Leonard?”

Leonard took the second gun out of its holster. Slowly, he stepped forward from his hiding place, both guns risen and keeping his eyes fixed on Nero. He was standing in the middle of the room, wearing a blue suit with a white shirt underneath and black, elegant shoes. He had grown very handsome over the years, taller, with dark hair and a beard like the popular kids nowadays had. But Leonard registered that only absently as his focus instantly fell on Barry.

Barry, lying on the floor, knocked out, with blood dripping from his forehead. “What did you do to him?” Leonard snarled in an ice-cold voice. He unlocked the guns in his hands and pointed them directly at Nero’s face.

“Now, keep calm, there’s no need to rush things.” Nero was standing right next to Barry, the cold gun in his hands with smears of blood on the handle. Leonard didn’t need to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out that Nero had hit Barry with it.

“We haven’t seen each other in a very, very long time, I figured we’d need some privacy,” Nero said in a calm voice. “You haven’t aged a day.”

Leonard looked at him furiously. There was no good fighting with Nero, all he’d do was weasel his way out and just making Leonard angrier. He lowered the guns dramatically in response. “You’re right,” he said slyly, “we should talk this through. I mean, we have a lot to discuss, since you stole my gun, nearly killed my sister and now hurt my partner.” Plus, he still had the recording tape that was strapped onto Barry. “And besides, you definitely look older than I can remember.”

Nero lowered the cold gun equally but didn’t put it out of his hands. “I’m sorry what happened to your sister. That was never my intention. But see, she was in the way, just a spare. I didn’t need her for my plans, so why not get rid of her immediately?”

“Your plans?” Leonard answered in a forced, calm drawl. “You don’t mind enlighten me, would you?”

“No, not yet. Where would all the fun be?” He made a wide gesture with his arms, waving around the gun. Leonard flinched. If Nero made one false move, the gun could explode. Barry might survive it, and Nero would definitely die, but still, Leonard liked his own life and wasn’t very keen on dying yet.

“No, it isn’t the right … time yet. But you’ll figure it out, I’m sure of it.”

Leonard just gave him an icy look. “Fine. But maybe you can tell me why you need my gun.”

“Yours? I thought it was stolen from S.T.A.R. Labs and then you forced one of their mechanics to rebuilt it for you.” His voice was dripping with sarcasm.

“Whatever. It’s still mine. The police know it, the Flash knows it, the criminals, everyone. So give it back, and I won’t hurt you.”

At this, Nero laughed heartily. “Give it back? You’re joking, right?”

“Do I look like I’m joking?” Leonard tried to control his anger. He couldn’t let it out, not for this bastard.

“No, but then again, you always had this look on your face.”

“Alright. I tried to be nice, but I’m slowly losing my patience.” Leonard started pacing up and down in front of Nero, always keeping one eye on Barry. He knew of course that Barry would heal at super-speed, but he wanted him out of harm’s way. And he wanted the cold gun out of the hands of this maniac. “How about you tell me what you really want? Maybe I can give it to you, and in exchange, you give me my gun back; and then my partner and I leave.” He stopped, looking directly at Nero.

“Tempting, but no. You want to know what I want?” Nero stepped forward until his face was only a few inches away from Leonard’s. “We’ll, I can tell you that: I want to destroy you. Everything you have. Like you did with me.” He smiled nastily. “So I’m sorry if I won’t give you your precious gun back, but it’s all part of the plan.”

He turned around and stepped away from Leonard. Then, suddenly, he rose his arm and shoot at the still unconscious Barry with a light blue stream of frost.

“No!”, Leonard shouted and leapt forward. He raised his gun and shot at the other man, but missed. Barry, however, lay on the floor, his legs covered in ice.

“You might just call him your partner, but he’s already a lot more for you, isn’t he?”

Leonard flinched again.

Nero must have noticed it because he smirked nastily. “I’ll make you an offer.” He was waving around with the cold gun again. “I’ll let you two leave now, unharmed – or at least without any more harm. I keep the gun. And then, you’ll watch as I make my way to the top and you’ll go down.”

Leonard didn’t answer. He just stared at his opponent, the guns pointed him again.

“Or,” Nero kept going, “I’ll freeze your little boyfriend to death. I bet you’re definitely not willing to take this chance.”

Leonard kept staring at Nero. His eyes had darkened over the years, now they were nearly black, Leonard thought. He considered his chances. He still could just blow Nero’s brains out, but he had pointed the cold gun at Barry again, his fingers already on the trigger. If Leonard made one false move, Barry’d probably die. And how much he hated admitting it, he kind of cared about the kid. “Fine,” he said after forever and raised his hands in surrender.

“I knew you would come to your senses, you were always a rational man.”

Leonard made his way towards Barry, his eyes fixed on Nero. He hadn’t pulled the cold gun away yet. Slowly, Leonard picked Barry up, holding him under his knees and arms, and pressed him against his body. The speedster’s body temperature was low, even lower than Leonard’s. He usually radiated heat, but now, he lay corpse-like in his arms. _Like Lisa_ , a voice inside Leonard’s head said.

“I think you know you’re way out, Leo.”

“This isn’t over yet.”

“No indeed, it isn’t,” Nero said in a pretended tragic voice.

Leonard threw Nero a last ice-cold look and left his apartment with Barry in his arms.

This really didn’t go well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos, bookmarks and the comments! This so amazing, thank you A LOT ♥♥♥


	6. Failure and Tensions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say again how amazing you all are xxx

 

_„You’re as cold as ice, you’re willing to sacrifice our love.” - Foreigner_

 

12 pm, Leonard’s apartment

Barry woke up because he felt like he had spent a night outside during the deepest winter. His whole body was trembling, and he nearly couldn’t feel his feet. It took him a few seconds until he realized he wasn’t in his own bed, but somewhere unfamiliar.

“ _Finally_ , you’re awake.”

Snart’s voice. Of course. Now he even recognized the distinctive smell of the blankets that covered him, like a bonfire, mixed with the scent of fresh laundry and some dark smell, probably his perfume. But in all, it smelled good (and exactly like the sweater Snart had given Barry as he now remembered).

Carefully, he tried to sit upright, but his muscles were so weak he barely could move them. “What happened?” he asked in confusion, his voice raspy like he hadn’t used it for days.

“Things didn’t quite go like we planned,” Snart just said. He made his way from the kitchen, carrying a large, steaming mug in his hands and sat down on the armrest of the couch next to Barry’s feet. “Drink this, it’ll help warming you up.” He handed Barry the mug which turned out to be containing hot chocolate.

“Thank you,” Barry said genuinely. He took a sip and he felt the warmth spread through his body.

“The gun … Nero … What happened? All I remember is that I heard the door open, then silence, then my head felt like someone rammed an axe in it. The next thing I know is waking up here.” Barry looked around. He was in Snart’s apartment again, half sitting, half lying on his couch with three blankets covering his whole body.

“Well, Nero, that bastard, used the handle of my cold gun to knock you out.”

“Oh.” Barry touched his head where he had been hit, but the wound had closed again already. All that was left was a scab. “What happened next?”

Snart sighed, got up and took a beer from the fridge. “Nero and I had a little talk. Apparently, he is angry with me. Then he let me go, I brought you here.” He opened the bottle and took large swigs before taking back his place at the foot of the couch.

“And that’s your reason why you drink beer before noon?”

“First, it already is noon, second, it’s seven in the afternoon in Germany and they have Oktoberfest there right now.” He took a large sip. “So, drinking beer seems legit.”

Barry just rolled his eyes. Apparently, Snart was in an exceptionally bad mood. “Okay, fine, do whatever you want. I’ll just stick to the cocoa.” He was still freezing like hell. He couldn’t stop the trembling, however hard he tried. But as he was thinking about it, it all seemed weird. Having physical injuries usually didn’t cause such a reaction. Normally, he healed quickly, and even a blow against his head shouldn’t affect him that much, and a possible wound should’ve definitely healed by now. Then something occurred to him.

“And while you two were negotiating, he hit me with a blast of the cold gun?” Barry suggested.

“Yes. I didn’t want to cooperate so he thought he could get to me by hurting you.”

“Could he?”

Snart just threw him a nasty look. But apart from the controlled anger, Barry could also detect concern overshadowing his clear, blue eyes.

“Let’s just say, having you dead would have left me in a very unfavorable position.” When he said that, he didn’t meet Barry’s eyes, a thing the speedster did not miss.

“Ohh, you were worried about me!” he teased the older man.

“Shut up, Barry.”

“It’s okay, Leonard, I know.” He smirked.

“You’re unbelievable.” He drank from his beer, then continued. “Anyway, after Nero sent you to the stars, he told me that he needed my cold gun for his big evil plan, but obviously it’s top secret. He blamed me for destroying him and now wants to destroy me, like I did with him.”

Barry must have had a puzzled look on his face because Snart elaborated, “Nero and I … we have a certain past.”

“Yeah, figured that much. You knew, like, everything about him and you call him by his first name.”

“I call you by your first name, too, Barry.”

“Yeah, but that’s just because you want to rub the fact that you know about my secret identity in my face.”

Snart shrugged. “Not entirely wrong.”

Barry raised his eyebrows. “So? Mind telling me what that certain past of yours is?”

Snart sighed dramatically and gestured Barry to make space on the couch. He obeyed but winced in doing so. His muscles were sore and his legs felt like they were frozen (which, as Barry thought about it, was probably the case). Snart just shrugged again, lifted Barry’s legs that were still taking up the couch and put them in his lap as he sat down. Suddenly, that weird feeling Barry already got earlier, when Snart had taped the recorder to his body, was back. He could feel his nerves prickle and his cheeks started to glow again.

“Nero … he used to be my boyfriend back in 1999.”

“Your … what? Seriously? I mean, I’m totally cool with that, but I thought you, you know, preferred women over men.”

Snart raised his eyebrows. “Not necessarily, no. Besides, if memory serves correctly, I already told you I'm pansexual. Why, is that important, Scarlet?” He was wearing his usual smirk again.

“No, Snart, it’s not. It’s just … I didn’t really expect that.” His cheeks turned, if possible, even redder.

Snart gave a hollow laugh. “Anyway, let’s just say I haven’t been such a good person even then. I used him to my advantage, although I knew that I was so much more for him. You see, his mother is Italian and comes from a very religious background. His father … well, if he and my old man ever would’ve met, they’d have been best friends.” Barry noticed how bitter his voice became when Snart talked about his father. “They haven’t been very … tolerant concerning a different lifestyle. When Nero once tried to came out to them, his father beat him unconscious.

“I met Nero at the Saints and Sinners. He was sitting alone, at the bar. At that time, he was only seventeen.”

“And you? How old were you?”

“What is it with you and my age?” The corners of his mouth twitched. “I was twenty-six.”

“Which means I was … okay, never mind that.”

“You were ten, kid, right?” Snart smirked. “Whatever. Well, that one night, I saw him sitting at the bar, drinking alcohol. I don’t know how he managed to get in or to get something alcoholic, but there he was, drinking one shot of tequila after another. I was only there because my father ordered me to find someone for his next heist, someone … replaceable. When I saw Nero sitting at the bar like this, I knew he was the one I was looking for. Then in the next months, everything took its course, we started dating, I used him, he lost everything.”

“And now he’s pissed at you.”

“Obviously.”

Barry whistled through his teeth. “I know I already said it, but Leonard, what a mess you’re in, it’s unbelievable! And you haven’t been very nice, you know. All this could have been avoided if you wouldn’t have played with his feelings.”

“Never said I was a good person, Barry. And I know how much you love the idea that there is _good in me_ , trust me, it’s not. Never was, never will be.”

“I don’t know. I mean, you do all this for your sister. And you have taken me here, I mean, you could just have left me lying on the floor at Nero’s. But instead, you took me here with you, laid me on the couch, made sure I’d get warmer and even made me a hot chocolate.”

“I’m just doing it because I still need my gun back. And now you’re involved, and like I said, explaining your dead body wouldn’t be so easy.”

“Yeah, whatever lets you sleep at night.”

They were silent for a few moments. Leonard emptied his beer and Barry took small sips of his hot chocolate, enjoying the effect it had on him. The cocoa really did warm him up. He had stopped trembling, and slowly his legs seemed to defrost. It felt like a thousand needles were sticking into his skin, but he knew from the last time he got blasted by the gun, that this was just the effect of getting warmer and his skin regenerating.

Barry spoke up again after a while. “And what are we gonna do now? I mean, Plan A failed.”

“The plan remains the same. We need the gun back. We put him into prison. Which reminds me –” Leonard shifted in his seat. “You still got the tape on your body. I didn’t want to, ah, undress you while you took your nap.”

“Thanks for that. That would’ve been too creepy.”

“Thought that much. But they’ll be probably nothing usable on it. He confessed hurting my sister, but that was about it.”

“It’s a start. We just need to get the gun then.”

“That could turn out a lot more difficult than expected.” He lifted Barry’s legs to get up and took another beer out of the fridge. When he came back, he simply leaned against the couch. “We’ll have to think of another plan as soon as you’re in a better condition. How are you, by the way? I thought you’ve got this super-fast-healing-thing.”

“Yeah I do, but it doesn’t seem to work when my body temperature is way lower than usual. I’ve got to go and see Caitlin later, maybe she can patch me up.”

“You do that.” Leonard stared at a different direction in the room, concentrating on the chair standing next to his bedroom door.

Barry frowned. “You okay?”

“Peachy.”

“The last time you said that your father planted a bomb inside your sister.”

Leonard spun around and glanced at Barry furiously. “My ex-lover stole my gun, hurt my sister, and now hurt you and promised me to bring me down. And he blames _me_ for all this. So I think it’s obvious why I’m in such a bad mood.”

Barry raised his hands in defense. “Whoa, I’m sorry, I was just asking.” He looked into the other man’s blue eyes. For a few moments, none of them said a word, they just glared at each other. What a mood swing, Barry thought. First, they were talking like two normal people, and now Leonard suddenly grew so angry. Maybe it’s because he’s worried, said a small voice inside Barry’s head. But he knew it wasn’t that. Leonard might care for his sister, and maybe his partner/friend/whatever Mick Rory, but definitely not for him and his injuries.

Still not breaking the eye contact, Leonard spoke again. “I think it’d be better if you left. I’ve got some stuff to deal with.”

“Fine, yeah. Just give me a moment until I can walk again and then I’m gone.”

Leonard turned his back towards Barry. He hid his face, staring out of his large kitchen window. Barry shook his head. He just didn’t get this man.

Slowly, he tried to get up from the couch. It worked, but his legs still stung like hell. But Barry knew when he was undesired. He slowly moved to the kitchen and put down the mug, then turned to Leonard again.

“Well, you have my number I guess … just call or text when you want to start planning. If you still want my help.” His last sentence sounded more like a question.

“I do. Thank you.” Despite the coldness in his voice, he still sounded soft somehow.

“Okay.” Barry turned towards the door when he realized that he was still wearing Leonard’s sweater. He pulled it over his head and handed it back to him. Leonard took it without a word, vanished into his room and came back seconds later with Barry’s own clothes.

“Let me just help you with the tape again.” Leonard put Barry’s stuff on the couch and carefully started to pull off the tape while Barry was holding the recorder.

Barry had to gulp again. This prickling feeling, his nerves feeling like they’d been electrified, was back again as soon as Leonard’s fingers brushed over his skin. A shiver went down his spine. Pull yourself together and stop that crap, Barry told himself sternly. If you keep behaving like this, he’ll notice.

The older man took the recorder out of Barry’s hands, but not without shortly covering Barry’s hands with his as an excuse to safely take the recorder. They stared at each other for a few seconds, soft hazel eyes meeting crystal clear blue ones.

Barry cleared his throat. “I’ll … go then.”

“You do that.”

Barry put on his own clothes and made his way towards the door. Before he left, he said goodbye, meeting Leonard’s burning gaze.

“Call when you want to continue, ‘kay?”

“I will, Barry.” It sounded like a promise.

“Bye, Leonard,” the speedster said and left Captain Cold’s apartment.

 

 

 

1 pm, S.T.A.R. Labs

Caitlin was sitting in her lab, mixing together some chemicals for her newest version of Velocity 9. It wasn’t exactly a new version, though. Caitlin was merely carrying on her research. She still tried to find a way to improve the speed drug, changing it so the cellular degeneration could be avoided. It was, however, a very difficult task. She had no one to test it on (because she didn’t want to ask Barry for that favor, not after she knew what happened to the last speedster after he took it), and she didn’t know exactly what she was looking for, or what was actually causing the degeneration.

She was only doing this for fun and to satisfy her curiosity anyway, at times when she was bored and had nothing else to do. At the moment, no one needed to consume Velocity 9, Barry has happy and alive and he was faster than ever. He came daily to stay in his training, and of course to spend his time with Cisco and her. Over the past years, they had grown so close, Caitlin didn’t want to imagine a life without them, especially not after she had lost so many people dear to her. Both Cisco and Barry were like family to her.

She was just adding a newly synthesized chemical as she felt the familiar rush of the wind that announced Barry’s arrival. Today, however, he was a lot earlier than usual. Of course, he had said that he needed this day off of work (although he wasn’t very specific on why he couldn’t go), but he had asked her and Cisco to cover him up. They agreed, of course, but still: Caitlin was very suspicious on what the reason was, and especially why he was back again so early.

She turned around in her seat and started to make her way towards Barry when she caught a glimpse of him. He was leaning against the wall, trying to catch his breath, and he was unusually pale.

“Barry!” Caitlin addressed him. “I thought you had to go somewhere today! What happened to you?”

“Hey, Caitlin,” Barry answered in a raspy voice that sounded like he’d caught a cold. “How are you today?”

“I’m fine, but you’re obviously not.”

“No, I’m not. I’m freezing like hell. I’m just glad the trembling stopped and I could get over here.”

“The trembling?” Cisco’s voice echoed from the hallway. He came into the room, eyeing Barry suspiciously. “Why have you been trembling?”

“I, ah, I caught a blast from the cold gun, somewhere around my legs.”

Both Caitlin and Cisco gasped in unison. “Captain Cold attacked you?”

“When?” Caitlin asked.

“Where?” Cisco asked.

“No, it wasn’t Leon- Snart. I can’t really tell you who it was, I promised not to, but yeah.” Barry looked around nervously. It’s been a long time since Caitlin had seen him in such a state when he had to hide a secret, and especially from them.

Cisco began to speak. “But who else has the cold gun? Or, a cold gun? Do you think maybe Snart started to duplicate them?”

Barry shook his head and started to make his way to S.T.A.R. Labs’ infirmary. “No, I don’t think so. Seriously, guys, I wish I could tell you, but I seriously can’t. I … promised him to keep this between just him and me, until we’ve dealt with that.”

Cisco and Caitlin looked at Barry in confusion. “Who?” they both asked again.

Barry sighed. “I can’t tell you. But what I can, is that I need you, Cait, to patch me up, because I’m just starting to freeze again and that’s definitely not normal.” Barry touched the left side of his head. “And the wound even hasn’t healed completely yet, and it’s been four hours since I got it.”

Caitlin nodded and took Barry by his arm. By the look of him, he had suffered severe hypothermia, which was also the reason why his body seemed to regenerate so slowly. The slower the cells were moving, the slower he was, and the slower his body functions worked.

“How did you get a wound on your head?” Cisco asked as Caitlin slowly put Barry onto the bed.

“I, er, got hit by the handle of the cold gun.”

“You’re kidding, right? So Snart did not only half freeze you again, but also _hit you with the gun_?”

“Cisco, it wasn’t Snart, he didn’t do anything, really. It was …” Barry inhaled deeply. He looked at his friends for a few moments, then exhaled loudly and rolled his eyes. “Screw it, I’m gonna tell you. This guy’s name is Nero Fitzgerald.”

Both Caitlin and Cisco looked at him in confusion. “Come again?”

“Nero Fitzgerald. He’s a jerk. He … well, I can’t tell you much, but he is out there and he’s pissed. I guess we’ll meet him soon anyway, I bet he’s going to steal or rob something within the next days.”

Caitlin just shook her head and continued on examining Barry. Men, she just thought.

Cisco, however, kept questioning Barry. “Okay, so basically everything you can tell us is that you got hit by, first, the handle of the cold gun, the specific cold gun I had to make for Captain Cold, and second, got hit by a blast of it. And it wasn’t Captain Cold himself, but some guy named Nero Fitzgerald who did this?”

“Yes.”

“But you can’t tell us where you were today and why you know this Nero guy’s name.”

“Yeah.” He looked down at his hands which lay folded in his lap. “Look, I know it’s not much, but you have to trust me. I promised someone to keep this secret until everything is in order again. And we’ll fix it, so don’t worry. I’ve got everything under control.”

“But it doesn’t look like you’ve got everything under control, Barry,” Caitlin interfered. “You suffered from a severe hypothermia, obviously. Your body cells need more time to regenerate, and maybe even rebuild, I’m not sure. You have the advantage that your body temperature is higher than average anyway and that you heal quickly. And I guess this Nero hadn’t set the gun at maximum power, or it’d have been way worse.” She sighed. “Stay here for the next couple of hours, I’ll give you an infusion mix out of a warmed sodium chloride solution with a bit of glucose to get your cells to work again.”

Barry just nodded.

“And then you’ll rest. When you’re better again after a few hours, you can go home, but, er, be careful what you tell Iris. If you really don’t want anybody to find out what exactly you’ve been doing, don’t give her any reason to be suspicious. You know how deep she’ll dig.”

“Yes, yes, I know,” Barry said in a tired voice. Caitlin had to smile sympathetically. Being a hero wasn’t always easy.

While she collected everything she needed to take care for Barry, Cisco turned to his best friend again, “Just get better again, alright?”

“Yeah. Look, I’m sorry, I really wanna tell you more about it …”

Cisco waved his hand as a sign that everything was okay. “Don’t worry, Barry. We got your back, no matter what mess you get yourself into.”

“Thanks,” the speedster answered quietly.

“Just … get better, and we’ll figure out the rest.”

Barry nodded, and Cisco gave him a last friendly pat on the shoulder before he left for the cortex. Caitlin came back again with an infusion bag and a needle in her hands. She stuck the needle in Barry’s hand and connected him to the infusion bag, so he’d get the nutrients he needed right now. Carefully, he placed himself on the bed in a sleeping position and covered his body with a large blanket. It didn’t even take a minute, and he was soundly asleep.

Caitlin turned around and went to the cortex. Cisco was already waiting for her. They looked at each other in concern.

“Please tell me you want as badly as I do to find out who that Nero Fitzgerald is,” Cisco said desperately.

“Oh, yes.”

Cisco smirked and sat himself down in front of his computer. It didn’t take him long to find the data he needed on the internet (or elsewhere, with his skills he basically had access to everything). He put the information on the big screen. Silently, they both read the police reports.

“Oh, dear,” Caitlin said when she had finished. “This doesn’t sound good.”

“But there’s one thing now we know for sure.”

“He and Snart know each other,” they said in unison. They had gotten quite good at this recently.

“And judging by that,” he jerked his head to the report, “Nero’s probably pissed at Snart.”

“Which means that they didn’t work together to finish Barry off, but that maybe Nero stole the gun.”

“And Snart wants it back, obviously.”

“Do you think –” Caitlin started.

“That the thing Barry promised was to help Captain Cold get his gun back?” Cisco continued. “Yeah, I think so.”

“Oh, dear,” Caitlin said again. “Then they probably tried it today, and they failed.” She shook her head. This was going to be fun, she thought sarcastically.

“What do you think happened to Snart?” Cisco asked.

“I don’t think he’s dead, or Barry would’ve told us.”

Cisco nodded. “We’re not gonna tell Barry we know, right?”

“No. Let him do his thing, and we’ll be there when he needs our help. He needs to open up himself.”

Cisco just nodded. “Well, this is going to be fun,” he said sarcastically.


	7. Love Will Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Len visits his sister and is at odds with himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter actually belongs to the previous one, but I didn't want to squeeze it together so I decided to split it :) It's just a short chapter, the next ones are going to be a little longer than usual.  
> Thank you all for reading and for commenting, I can't say often enough how amazing that is to see that so many of you seem to like what I'm writing here!  
> Enjoy this little chap, my friends xx

 

_“What a wicked game to play to make me feel this way, what a wicked thing to do to let me dream of you.” – Gemma Hayes_

 

Still Friday, 6 pm, St. Andrews Hospital

It took Leonard forty-five minutes to get from his apartment to the hospital. He’d had the sudden desire to see his sister and tell her about his day, even though she was still unconscious. If she had been awake and listened to his story, she’d have given him this specific look she used to wear every time when Leonard had told her about a new crush he had when they were kids, or when she had thought that there was someone who was interested in him, but Leonard had been too oblivious to notice. They had always been there for each other, no matter what. (But considered they only had each other, it was kind of natural.)

Now he was sitting at her bedside, telling her about the day. He told her the whole story with Nero. Of course, she already knew that they’d been a couple once. She hadn’t approved it then, though, because she knew what it would do to Nero once Leonard would drop him after the heist with his father was finished. However manipulative Lisa was herself, she still believed in true love, and that somewhere out there was someone who would complete her, and someone who’d be Leonard’s soulmate. She always told Leonard, that at some point in the future, what he had done to Nero would catch up with him. “Love will remember,” she used to say (even before that Selena Gomez girl made a song out of it).

And she proved to be right. Now she was the one lying there in the hospital, and only because Leonard had played with a guy’s feelings. Barry had been right, too, when he had said that all this could have been avoided. But at an age of only twenty-six, Leonard had still been doing nearly everything his father wanted from him. There had been no escape, he had to.

Leonard leaned against the back of the chair and closed his eyes. The first thing that came to his mind were images of Barry, one after another, like a private slideshow inside his head. How he had been lying on the floor at Nero’s, half of his body covered in ice. How he lay on Leonard’s couch, unconscious and covered with blankets, slightly trembling. How he looked with Leonard’s sweater on. How he looked without a sweater on. How he kept blushing every time Leonard had touched him, even when he was just taping the recorder to his body. Connected to these images came a feeling Leonard couldn’t quite match, deep inside of him. He could feel his heart beating and a strange warmth spread inside him; a warmth he hadn’t felt in a long time.

But the most reappearing image was of Barry, standing in front of him, just before he left. Leonard had taken the recorder but he was staring into Barry’s eyes, those soft, warm hazel eyes. They looked like a deep forest, or like a universe Len could lose himself in. He had never seen eyes like this, and he most definitely never considered any eye color as beautiful. But Barry definitely had the most amazing eyes he had ever seen.

Leonard shook his head. This was stupid, he told himself. Barry was his enemy, if not even his arch-enemy. They were associates, for now at least, but definitely nothing more. But he couldn’t get the sound of Barry calling him by his first name out of his head. Sure, the speedster usually said that only when he was teasing Leonard, but when he had left, it definitely hadn’t been to annoy him. Normally, people called him “Len” or just “Cold”, maybe even just with his last name. Lisa called him “Lenny”, mainly to make fun of him. Since his father was dead, no one used “Leo” anymore. But “Leonard” … no, nobody (nobody except Barry, a voice inside his head told him) did. At least not in that teasing tone, playful and careless. When cops used his full name, they did it to mock hin, make fun of him. But with Barry, it wasn't like that.

Leonard opened his eyes again. He had to think of something else, something different than this stupid speedster with his stupid eyes and his stupid soft skin, that, every time Leonard had only shortly brushed it with his fingers, made him feel a certain way. He was acting like a teenage girl, and he was definitely way, way, _way_ too old for this.

“Age is just a number,” he instantly heard his sister’s voice inside his head. She already used to say that when Leonard started his relationship with Nero back in 1999 (before she was telling him off for using him and that he should end it on the spot if he wasn’t serious about it). Nero was only nine years younger, and when they were together, he hadn’t been of age yet. But to be honest, Leonard hadn’t cared about it. A part of him actually did have feelings for this boy, although he knew how it would have to end. He knew that Nero always just had been a means to an end, but he still had hope then. Hope, that everything would turn out alright. Hope, that maybe his father would accept his sexuality or him in general. Hope, that he could have a nearly normal life afterwards, maybe even with a pretty boyfriend.

But of course, this hadn’t been possible. He had used Nero to get to his parents’ estate, to get to the gems and the money they had had in the house. He had smuggled Lewis inside. Leonard’s job was to distract Nero, while his father stole every single piece of jewelry he could find. But Nero was smart, even then, and he had noticed. He had warned his parents, and he had to watch how Leonard had to shoot both of them, including his little brother, just because they were “in the way” as Lewis Snart had put it.

“Kill the spares.” This had been his words. Nero had used nearly these exact words when he told Leonard about Lisa. She had been in the way, unimportant.

His little baby sister. Lewis had threatened to hurt her, and this argument had worked, even then. Leonard had to shoot Nero’s family, or he would’ve lost everything he had. Instead, he had taken everything from the guy he’d had feelings for, the guy who had trusted him.

There definitely wasn’t any good in him, no matter how much Barry believed that. He had to end this; whatever it was between the speedster and him right now, before history could repeat itself. He had to get back the cold gun as soon as possible, before he would start imagining what his life would be like if he and Barry weren’t enemies, but more, more than just associates or friends. He had to move on before Barry could develop anything else than sympathy. Because Leonard knew he did, he had seen it in his eyes, felt the goosebumps Barry had gotten when Leonard had touched him. He had felt the heat radiating from his body, and Leonard liked how that had felt.

He had to end this before anyone else would get hurt.

Slowly, he got up from the chair. He had been sitting here way too long now, sulking in his own misery. Time to get distracted, Leonard told himself. He gave his sister a soft kiss on the top of her head and a whispered “I love you” before he left for his favorite bar. There, he could get a drink or two, maybe even more, and forget about this day. This day, that had been horrible in any way, as every detail of his plan had failed. At the bar, he could find someone for tonight, seek some fun that could lighten this day. There usually were enough both cute and hot young women who were only eager enough to find someone to spend their night with. (And even men, although this seldom happened.) At any rate, Leonard needed to find someone to distract himself. He definitely had to get the feeling of Barry Allen’s skin against his, even if that had happened only for a few seconds, off his mind.


	8. The Rose of the North

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things That Could Cause Trouble: Part One.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter turned out a little longer than usually. Have fun reading anyway! xx

 

_“When you're in the half light, it is not you I see; and you'll live a half life, you only show half to me.” – Banners_

 

 

Tuesday, 11.15 am, Central City Museum

“You ready, Barry?” Joe asked calmly.

Barry snorted quietly. “I have to, don’t I?”

They were in a small side room in Central City’s museum. Today was the big day, or at least it was for the police and the owner of the museum. Today, the big exhibition would start: It was called “ _Gems of the World_ ” and it displayed about twenty different gemstones, found in different parts of the world and all varying in their value. The most precious stone, however, or more like stones, plural, was the “ _Rose of the North_ ”, a necklace made of two-hundred and fifty small Alexandrite stones from Russia. Of what the police and the museum’s director had told Barry, the “ _Rose_ ” was a necklace forged in 1952 and immensely expensive.

The police (and the museum management) feared that especially today, when the exhibition started, some thieves, from petty criminals to world-class criminals like Captain Cold, would try to steal the necklace. So naturally, they had given the task to the Flash to keep an eye on it. Especially the current owner, a guy named Sebastian Quinn, had been very worried about the safety of his beloved jewelry. Apparently, his grandfather had been the one to first own the necklace and it supposedly had a unmeasurable meaning to him.

Barry shook his head. Rich people and their sentiment attachments to jewelry. He knew, that at some point, some criminal would definitely try to get his hands on something so precious (and so beautiful, Barry had had the honor to catch a glimpse at it before the exhibition officially started). But luckily, he knew Captain Cold wouldn’t steal it anytime soon. Not as long he didn’t have his cold gun, anyway, and after that, Barry could make sure Leonard would stay away from that necklace.

Leonard. In his mind, Barry stumbled over this name. He already had realized last Friday that something had changed. Unconsciously, he had started calling Captain Cold by his first name rather than just “Snart” like he used to before. He had almost let this slip when he was talking to Cisco and Caitlin. But looking back, he couldn’t even remember actually starting to call him _Leonard_. It just sort of happened, and his mind had easily adapted.

Barry had to change that, he told himself. It was definitely enough that Leonard – Snart, he corrected himself – had cared for him when he had been unconscious. And then this weird but also nice feeling, the goosebumps he had gotten … Barry shook his head. Thinking about it didn’t make it better, if not only worse. He remembered the feeling so well like it was just happening again. His face reddened. No more thinking of Captain Cold, he told himself. And especially no feeling bad about him not having called yet.

The whole weekend had passed already without a peep from Barry’s new associate. Of course, Leonard probably needed some time off, thinking about what had happened. But Barry had also expected that he wanted to continue as soon as possible, to get his gun back and avenge his sister. But no matter how many times Barry had checked his phone over the weekend, there was no new message or a missed call. Barry couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed. He could understand if Leonard wanted to do this thing alone; after all, Barry hadn’t been any help on Friday and was more of a burden than he had done any good. But still, he kind of wanted to help him, and now the idea that Leonard would continue without him caused a feeling of having something heavy in his stomach connected to a bit of sadness.

Wow, now you’re upset that Captain Cold hasn’t _called_ you _on your phone_ and doesn’t need your help, a voice inside his head told him sarcastically.

“Barry? Barr! Hello?” Joe waved his hand in front of Barry’s eyes and jolted him out of his thoughts.

“Sorry, sorry! I was thinking about something. I’m here, I’m okay,” he reassured.

“You better be. The inauguration starts in a few moments and we need you at high-speed. I still can’t shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen. I’d still believe Snart could come up here and snatch that damn necklace from right under our eyes if we’re not careful.”

Barry smiled sympathetically. Joe had been put in charge of Barry (or, the Flash) and the whole necklace-protection-thing; and for this day, he was responsible for anything that went wrong. If someone stole the Rose, it’d be his fault. Barry knew that this was a lot of pressure his foster dad was under.

“Don’t worry,” he said, “I don’t think L– Snart turns up today. He never does anything without a plan, remember? He has to collect enough data about the Rose first, its location and protection and all before he takes any steps. It’ll be safe today.”

“I just hope you’re right.” Joe sighed. “Anyway, it’s nearly time. Put your mask on, we need to get out there.”

Barry nodded and pulled his mask over his head.

They opened the door and stepped out. They made their way up to the first floor where the exhibition would officially start. The museum had redecorated everything to make the “Gems of the World” look more appealing: deep red velvet curtains were draped on the walls, tooled with gold cords which made the museum look like the hallway from a French castle in the eighteenth century.

Joe walked in front of Barry and positioned himself next to Captain Singh, who was standing near a small stage that had been put up just for today. Both the museum’s director and Sebastian Quinn were going to give a small speech, thanking the generous donations and introducing the owners of the gems and the gemstones themselves. So basically, just the usual.

Barry’s job was to hide and wait until Mr. Quinn would mention his name. Then he had to flash up the stage and listen to what Mr. Quinn told him, and then promise to keep the necklace safe. He wasn’t quite expecting any trouble for today; after all, Leonard (Snart, he told himself again) wasn’t going to do anything today, Mick Rory wouldn’t do anything without his partner’s help and Lisa Snart was out of the game for now, anyway. Maybe Mark Mardon would turn up, but for that special case, Barry had already asked Cisco for the Wand. But the chances of Weather Wizard trying to pull a heist were unlikely; he knew that stealing stuff like this was Leonard’s job.

The only thing Barry worried about was that Nero might show up here unexpectedly with Leonard’s cold gun and try to rob this place. Barry sent what felt like the thousandth silent prayer to any god or goddess out there in the universe, and even to the speed force, that Nero’s ass would stay at his awful place.

Over the weekend (which had been a quiet one, all he did was watching movies with Iris and Joe and hanging out with Caitlin and Cisco), Barry had had enough time to think about the last Friday. He had realized he knew nearly nothing of his new opponent except for the few facts Leonard had told him. Heck, he didn’t even know what Nero looked like! He had decided that he needed more information on him, and if Leonard wouldn’t say anything when he’d ask him again the next time they saw each other, Barry would ask Cisco to find something out. (Or maybe Felicity. But then again, she was a very curious woman, and he didn’t want anyone to find out about Leonard and their deal.)

Barry tried to concentrate on the task at hand and listened to the museum’s director’s speech. He was talking about how _honoured_ Central City’s museum felt to be able to display so many precious stones from everywhere from the world, especially the Rose.

With that, he handed the microphone to Sebastian Quinn. Obviously, Barry had missed most of his speech, because usually, the director talked at least ten minutes on such events.

From what Barry could see, Mr. Quinn was a tall, broad man with ginger hair and a ginger beard. He was in his mid-forties, but he definitely looked older. Barry couldn’t help but to compare him to Leonard, who looked definitely way younger than forty-four. Again, Barry told himself off for think of Leonard again. Damn, this man seemed to cross his mind way too often lately.

“My name is Sebastian Quinn,” the man introduced himself. He had a deep voice, almost like a rumble, but also calm at the same time. He spoke with a confidence like some of the rich people in Star City did, but with a heavy British accent.

“First, I wanted to thank all of you for coming here today. It’s great to be back again here in Central City after all these years! My parents immigrated from the States to England, but my grandfather, who was the first owner of the Rose, was home to Central City.” He smiled generously. “It only feels right to bring the Rose back again, back to its origins after all these years when it had been lost.”

He descended the stage and walked in the middle of the room. The audience was standing in a semicircle around a big glass vitrine which was covered in a red velvet cloth, equally to the curtains hanging on the walls. Mr. Quinn positioned himself in front of the vitrine before he spoke again. “I’m delighted to present you one of the, as I think, most beautiful pieces of jewelry in the world. The ‘ _Rose of the North’_!” Dramatically, he pulled the cloth off the vitrine. A beam of sunlight hit the necklace and it glowed in a bright, emerald green color. The guests let out amazed gasps at the sight of the Rose.

“Of course, such a piece has to be protected at all costs. Which is why,” he paused dramatically again, “I am very glad this city has their own hero; their own hero who protects its citizens and takes down any criminal that tries to do anything bad. The Flash!”

This was Barry’s cue. The audience started to clap, and Barry raced forward and came to halt next to Mr. Quinn.

“Thank you, Flash, for everything you have done for this city. And now, thank you for promising to protect my precious Rose!” He shook Barry’s hand and smiled a toothy smile.

“It’s my pleasure,” Barry answered. Mr. Quinn kept shaking his hand and the cameras kept flashing and taking pictures. After a few moments, Quinn let go of his hand, and Barry flashed out of the room again. He ran into the room he had been in with Joe earlier.

Now, he had to wait again, until the exhibition officially started and then, it was his turn to patrol through the corridors and to keep an eye on every new stone. At least he hadn’t planned anything else for today.

 

***

 

Nearly seven hours later, Barry’s job was done. Nothing had happened today, everything had been quiet. There hadn’t even been a single person to step over the security lines in front of a glass vitrine or got too close to a painting. It had almost been too boring for Barry, no criminal trying to steal anything, no metahuman attack, nothing. In moments when it had been especially quiet, he had flashed into a diner and grabbed something to eat before returning to his post. Now, he was looking forward to a nice evening at home, maybe together with Iris and Joe and watching a movie they hadn’t seen yet.

But of course, at exactly this moment, he heard Caitlin’s familiar voice over his earpiece.

“Barry, are you finished with protecting the Rose?”

“Yeah, I am,” he answered as he waved Joe goodbye.

“Good. Because we wanted to start building a weapon against Heatwave and wondered if you wanted to come and help?”

“Yeah, sure, why not. I’ll be there in a few seconds.” At least he had something to do then, although he would just sit there with Caitlin while Cisco would do the work. But he got to spend time with his friends, which promised to be a nice evening, too. He rushed outside and a few seconds later, he was standing in front of his friends.

 

 

6 pm, S.T.A.R. Labs

Barry got rid of his Flash suit and changed into his normal clothes again.

“Hey Barry,” Cisco greeted him. He was holding a few folded plans under his arms and made his way to his computer. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, peachy.”

Cisco raised an eyebrow at that but didn’t comment.

“Did everything go alright today at the museum?” Caitlin asked him as she made her way from her lab to greet Barry.

“Yeah, but it was so boring, I felt like all the criminals from Central City went on a vacation today. There wasn’t even a pickpocket in the museum!”

“Aww, poor Flash didn’t have something to do all day,” Cisco said mockingly.

Barry smiled tiredly. “Anyways, what did you guys do the whole day?”

“Oh, nothing, you know, the usual,” Cisco answered without meeting Barry’s eyes. Apparently, the speedster wasn’t the only one with a secret. “And we stayed on alert the whole time, just in case you’d get into trouble, so it’s basically been a pretty boring day here, too.”

“Did you make any plans for a weapon against the heat gun yet?” Barry asked, in an attempt to change the subject.

“I actually had an idea,” Caitlin answered. “The heat gun warms up the temperature around it, right? So, what if we can build a weapon that cools the air so it’ll get harder for him to start the gun?”

“You mean like with the Wand against Weather Wizard,” Cisco said.

“Exactly. It’ll take him longer to throw a flame, maybe cause less damage in the end. I’ve thought about how the cold gun and the heat gun cancel each other out, but we can’t always bet on those two going at each other.”

“Plus,” Barry added, “Captain Cold’s not stupid, he won’t make the same mistake again.”

“But that only gives us more time,” Cisco warned. “The temperature will heat eventually until it’s hot enough to fire the gun. And we would have to cool it down like, really much.”

“But I’d bet Rory hates chillness. Maybe that’ll annoy him enough for me to snatch him.”

“Before that, he’ll have lit up the entire museum already.”

“Good point,” Caitlin admitted.

It was silent for a few moments while they were thinking about the idea.

“Then what if,” Cisco started, “we create a weapon that freezes both this flame and cools the temperature? Like a fan, but it blows out cold air instead of hot.”

“Or,” Caitlin interrupted, suddenly having an idea. “You said that Captain Singh had said something about how just something watery should help. We could use that idea, but instead of water, we use liquefied nitrogen.”

Cisco tilted his head. “This might actually work.” He nodded slowly. “Yeah, I’ve got an idea on how to process that. Ohh, that weapon will be so much fun once I’m done.” He grinned.

Suddenly, Barry’s phone rang. He got it out of his pocket and looked at the caller ID. It read Leonard Snart.

Barry gulped. “I gotta take this,” he said apologetically to his friends. “Just a second, yes?” he said and answered.

Before he could say anything, he already heard Leonard’s typical drawl. “You’re free for the next few hours?” he asked.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Barry glanced over his shoulder and walked towards the door. Both Caitlin and Cisco threw him curious looks, but Barry tried to look as if it wasn’t one of their enemies calling him on his cell.

“Good. Fancy continuing to plan and taking the bastard down?”

“Now?”

Barry could almost hear how Leonard rolled his eyes. “No, in ten years. Yes, of course now. The sooner I get my gun back, the better.”

“I’m at S.T.A.R. Labs right now, but I can be over in a few seconds.”

“That would be marvelous. And bring some food if possible.”

“It’s gonna take longer then.”

“Doesn’t matter. I’m starving.”

“Fine, I’ll bring something.”

“Good. See you in a few minutes, Scarlet.” And with that, Leonard hung up.

Barry looked confused at his phone. This man was a mystery.

He shook his head and turned towards his friends again. “Listen,” he started, “I gotta go somewhere. Do you mind continuing without me? I’m coming tomorrow and then I’ll help you again, then we can build it together. Maybe even test it. I could throw a lighting; I mean, if that fan-like weapon can stop a lighting, it surely can stop a flame from the heat gun.”

“It’s fine,” Caitlin answered. “And that actually might be a good idea. If that works, we even have a weapon against another rogue speedster just in case we’d meet one ever again in our lives.”

“I’ve got enough of evil speedsters for a lifetime,” Cisco muttered under his breath. “Anyways, who’re you going to see?” He smirked. “A secret lover? Because I know that look on your face, Caitlin always had that when she and Ronnie were secretly dating and making out in the supply closet.”

Caitlin hit him playfully.

“No,” Barry laughed nervously, “it’s nothing like that. I’ve got to visit a, uh, friend.” He grabbed his coat. “See you tomorrow!” With that, he quickly rushed out before they’d ask any more questions. He hated lying to them, but Leonard had made his point clear that he didn’t want anyone to know about their new deal. However, Barry knew he would have some explaining to do tomorrow.

 

 

8 pm, Leonard’s apartment

Twenty minutes later, Barry and Leonard were sitting on the table in Leonard’s apartment, eating pizza and planning on how to get the cold gun back. Before Barry had shown up, he had stopped by one of his favorite pizzerias and bought five large margheritas, four for himself and one for Leonard.

“This counts as paying for dinner,” Barry greeted Leonard as soon as he had entered the apartment.

“Fine, but only because you managed to be here so fast.”

They had mostly eaten in silence, only the sounds of the city disturbing the quiet. Barry had to admit that it was nice. He felt comfortable, even though he knew exactly who he was having dinner with. He also knew that having dinner with your arch enemy should be weird, but somehow it wasn’t.

Of course, Leonard had finished eating before Barry, but he was so polite to let him eat. He was looking outside the window, or sometimes just staring at him. Whenever Barry caught him, he silently raised his eyebrows questioningly and Leonard turned away with a smirk on his lips.

However, when Barry was midway through eating his fourth pizza, Leonard started to speak. “I believe you haven’t started to make a plan on getting the gun back, have you?”

“No, should I have?” Barry asked back with his mouth still full of pizza. “Usually planning is your thing. I kind of have no experience in that field. Neither with robbing.”

Leonard just sighed. “Fine. I haven’t started either, so let’s work together on a plan.”

Barry nodded and finished his pizza in high speed. Leonard eyed him curiously but didn’t comment on his eating habits. Barry was glad for that. He knew that sometimes, just stuffing food inside himself like this might seem a bit disgusting to someone who wasn’t used to it or the amount of food Barry ate in general.

Leonard got up and took two beers out of the fridge. He handed one Barry before he continued, sitting down on his stool again. “So. Obviously, the first problem is that we have lost the element of surprise. He’ll know we want the gun back. Even more, he’s expecting us to go at it.”

“Yeah, that’ll be a problem. Hey, Leonard,” Barry suddenly remembered, “before we started this whole thing, I asked Joe if he knew something about Nero. He said that Nero robbed something on the Silvester night in 1999, and that some officers were killed. But Nero had never stolen anything else after that. Do you have something to do with that?”

“Yes, you could say that,” the older man answered carefully.

“And that means?”

“Do I have to tell you?”

“Dude, if you want me to help, I need to know everything I can about my enemy. I mean, isn’t that exactly what you do? Gathering enough information before a heist?”

Leonard rolled his eyes. “Okay, fine, you’re right. What do you want to know?”

“About that night. Because I have the feeling that maybe what happened back then can help us today.”

Leonard got up and leaned against the kitchen counter. “That night,” he started slowly, “there was this big firework. It was the turn of the millennium, so they had an orchestra playing music that fitted the firework, out there on the Big Square, right next to the museum and the bank.”

“Yeah, I remember that; I was there with my parents …”

It had been the last Silvester he had with his parents, before his mom was murdered by Eobard Thawne and his dad was falsely sent to prison for that crime. All other New Year’s Eves had been spent with Iris and Joe, the first three years not even really participating. He had locked himself in his room and spoke to nobody because it was just the beginning of another year without his mother, and his father in prison; another year without his parents.

A wave of emotion rushed over him, sadness and melancholia. He suddenly realized that now, there wouldn’t be any other Silvester with his parents either, none of them. Not after Zoom had killed his father mercilessly, and now both his parents were dead.

Barry felt his throat tighten, his eyes started to water.

“Barry? Barry, you’re with me?” Leonard’s voice suddenly interrupted his thoughts. It was soft, and Barry even could hear a slight trace of concern in it.

“Yes, yeah, sorry. It’s just … it was the last New Year’s Eve I had with them. With my parents, I mean. After that …”

“Yes, I know, Barry.” He didn’t show false empathy, nor was there pity in his eyes. Leonard knew that no words could heal those wounds. However, he came closer again and carefully sat down next to Barry, knowing that maybe just the comfort of the presence of another human being, someone who understood, might help him. And Barry was grateful for that.

“Thanks. Sorry. I’m okay again, just continue with your version of that night.”

Leonard raised his eyebrows but nodded. “Anyway, as I said, fireworks are ideal for concealing a gunshot. A week before, some rich guy had moved from L.A. to Central and that day, all his money had been brought to the bank. Nero knew this, of course, as well as any other thief around here. But Nero had been the only one idiotic enough to try and steal it that night. Maybe he wanted to get back the money my old man and I had stolen from him, or he wanted to prove that he was even better than me, I don’t know.”

“Wait, you’ve stolen money from him? From your boyfriend?”

“That was what I needed him for, yes.”

“You said you needed a spare for your father’s and your next heist.”

“Yes, we did. The original plan was that we need someone as a distraction. When I first approached Nero in the bar, I didn’t know his parents were the ones we wanted to steal the money and the jewelry from. Later, of course, this became very useful in … archiving the goal.”

Barry shook his head. “Being in a relationship with a guy just because you want his money, not having any feelings and later exposing his sexuality to his homophobic parents … that was pretty cold-blooded, even for you.”

Leonard smirked, showing not a trace of regret. “Pun intended?”

“Always.”

“Well, I told you I’m a bad person.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Oh, just shut up already.”

Barry, however, grinned.

“Anyways,” Leonard drawled, “before he broke into the bank, I got wind of his plan and thought, why not try to stop him and save him from a life in prison and misery. I got into the bank and to these super-security vaults where that new guy had his money deposed. When Nero saw me, he got angry and tried to kill me. He screamed, shouted insults at me which naturally attracted two police officers who had the job of protecting the money. They tried to force him down, but Nero shot them both. One died immediately on the scene, one later in the hospital.” He paused, looking at Barry, as if he was trying to figure out what he was thinking.

Barry just stared into Leonard’s eyes, listening to his story. He noticed how soft this piercing blue seemed. Usually, every time Barry had looked at Leonard, during a heist or when they had made one of their previous deals, they had a hard look, almost like frozen ice. But recently, they had a soft look, like a deep water or the clear sky on a winter evening.

“Of course, that was when everything escalated,” Leonard continued and pulled Barry out of his trance. “Nero panicked; he was only seventeen years old after all, and he’d just killed for the first time. Murdering a cop earned you a life-long in prison, even when you were underage. Nero had looked at me, and he was terrified, and then, without another word, he made a run for it. I have never seen him since.”

“And did you get charged for the murders?”

“No. Nero really had everything planned out, he had shut down the security cameras and the whole system before. Nobody knew I was at the crime scene, except for that one witness who saw me leaving the bank.”

“So how come the police knew Nero killed the officers?”

“I told them.”

“You – you’re serious?”

“Otherwise I’d been sent to prison, again, and that wasn’t something I was really fond of. Plus, I knew Nero would be long gone, and they’d have trouble finding him at all. He was smart, he knew how to go underground. And apparently, he did, building himself a small empire made of money he got by robbing.”

Barry exhaled loudly. “Wow. This is one hell of a messed up story. No wonder why he’s that pissed at you.”

“Thanks,” Leonard answered sarcastically.

They both were silent for a few moments.

Barry tried to process everything he’d just heard. So obviously, the only reason, or maybe the actual reason behind what Nero had done in 1999 was revenge. He wanted revenge on what Leonard had done to him, get back a part of his old life. And now, he wanted revenge too, that was what he had told Len on that failed heist when Barry’d been unconscious. He wanted to _destroy_ Leonard, like Leonard had destroyed him. Suddenly, Barry got an idea.

“So, basically, after you betrayed him, he robbed something, right?”

“Correct.”

“So what if he did that to prove something to you? To get some kind of revenge? Or to get his old life back?”

“What do you want to say?”

“I mean, you said that he wanted to ‘destroy’ you, like you ‘destroyed him’.” He made little quotation marks in the air. “You stole his money. What if he’s going to steal your stuff now? He has already your gun, the next thing could be some of the prey from one of your previous heists …”

Leonard thought about that but then shook his head. “No,” he said slowly, “that’d be too small. He made it sound like his revenge would be big, and just trying to get his hands on my stuff seems too easy. Maybe …” His voice trailed off. His eyes unfocused for a second, staring into the air. “Maybe he does that, too, but also wants to steal something I have. And destroy my reputation. Because, Scarlet, a good reputation is everything in my line of work.”

“And with good you mean having the reputation of a fearless, merciless criminal who never fails?”

“Exactly. When he destroys that image, he can destroy me. Without that image, I’d be nothing, especially not Captain Cold.”

“So what, he just embarrasses you on a heist?”

“He could do that, yes.”

“How does he know what you’re going to steal next?” Barry said in concern.

“Well, there’s only one thing out there right now that’s worth stealing.”

Barry remembered his thought he had that morning. He suddenly got the very bad feeling that he knew what Leonard was going to say. He silently prayed that he was wrong.

“The Rose of the North,” Leonard smirked as if he knew exactly what Barry just had been thinking.

The younger man groaned and buried his face in his hands. “Please don’t tell me you plan on stealing that goddamn necklace.”

“Barry, this necklace is one of the most beautiful and most expensive pieces of jewelry in the world. Every world-class-thief like me wants to steal something like that.”

“No, Leonard, seriously, I had to promise Quinn personally that the Flash would keep this necklace safe from people like you. If you’re going to steal this thing, I don’t want to know what that does to _my_ reputation …”

Leonard chuckled. “ ‘The Flash failed, defeated by the legendary Captain Cold.’ That’ll be quite a headline.”

Barry groaned again.

“Chill, Scarlet, I won’t steal it. You have to remain an enemy worthy of my skill. Maybe I’ll steal something else, though …”

“Leonard, please,” Barry pleaded.

“Yeah, fine, but just for now. As soon as I have my gun back, things go back to normal.”

Barry laid his head on the table. “Yes, I know.”

“You’re tired?”

“Maybe.” Barry suppressed a yawn. “Doing nothing but staying on alert the whole day is pretty exhausting.”

Leonard chuckled. “Then go home and get some sleep. We can keep planning tomorrow or somewhat during the next week. At least we have a rough structure of a plan.”

“Do we?” His voice sounded ruffled.

“Well, considering we need to stop him destroying me, and interfering with a heist of his, on the basis of me doing a heist … yes, we do.”

Barry slowly got up. “Okay, I’ll get home then.”

“Thanks for dinner,” Leonard smirked again.

“Yeah, whatever.” Barry ruffled the back of his neck, a slight heat rising up his cheeks. Finally, he turned around and made his way towards the apartment door. “Just text or call if you want to plan, yes?”

“I will. Good night, Scarlet.”

“Night, Leonard.” Barry waved and made his way to the door. Before he left, he looked at Leonard again. The older man was still sitting on the barstool, eyes fixed on Barry. Barry smiled at him shyly, before he closed the door and raced home.


	9. Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A string of murders interrupt their planning, but they don't interrupt Barry's feelings from growing stronger.

 

_“In this town, don’t we love it now? Everybody’s waiting for the next surprise.” – Disney_

 

Halloween, 2 am, in the back of some dark alley somewhere in Central City

The man’s breathing came out heavily. He had to be careful, or otherwise one of the neighbors would notice him. But she was so heavy …

Sweat was dripping down his temples. There also was sweat on his back, under his armpits; literally, everywhere sweat could be produced. But if it was because of the adrenaline rushing through his veins, making him able to do the work at hand, or if it was the thrill of what he was doing, he couldn’t tell. Or maybe it was just because of the physical effort. Maybe it was a combination of all three.

He lifted the woman’s body out of his car and heaved her onto the large trash can. That was where she belonged: into a large bin, swallowed up by all the other broken things, resting there on a dumping place for all the forgotten and unimportant stuff. In the end, he had failed her. Not her specifically, but _her,_ his love, his only true love. _Claire_.

Her name echoed in his head, an endless innuendo. He could hear her voice, calling him, telling him she loved him, making him pushing his limits, working harder. We can be back together, she said. Like we used to be.

But he wasn’t good enough. He couldn’t do it, no matter how much he tried. She still was dead. And now, all the others were dead, too.

A voice, his conscience, called for his attention. What you did was wrong, it told him. You can never get her back. You only made it worse.

But after weeks, months of planning and then finally putting his plan into action, this voice of moral slowly shut up. He liked imagining it as some sort of angel, speaking to him as a higher power. But her voice, her sweet, loving, singing voice, was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. And she was his true angel, his better half. She was the one making him who he was. And even if she was an angel of death, she surely was the sweetest angel in the world and all of heaven’s forces.

The woman’s body lay on multiple blue plastic bags. The way she looked as the soft moonlight hit her, you could think she was asleep. She looked peaceful. The man liked to believe that she was at a better place. A place, where she could be united with her loved ones, at least. But deep inside of him, he knew he had failed her, too. And all the other women. He hadn’t been good enough. He couldn’t bring her back to like. None of them.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered softly, his voice only like a leaf floating in the wind.

He got back in the car and drove off to the next dark alley. He still had seven bodies to bury.

 

 

7 am, The West’s House

Barry woke up to the sound of Iris’ voice and a loud hammering against his door.

“Wake up, Barry, something’s happened and the CCPD needs you!”

Barry grunted and turned around in his bed. He buried his head under his pillow, covering his ears. It was way too early to get up. He didn’t have to be in his lab until at least ten, and judging by the sky which was still dark, he still had time to sleep.

“Barry,” now Joe’s voice sounded through the door, “there has been found a corpse near the river in some back alley, and we need you to secure the location, so get up now!”

Barry grunted again but started to move. Slowly, he peeled himself out of his countless blankets and pillows and sat upright. “I’m coming,” he muttered drowsily.

“Good. I sent you the address and I want you there in ten minutes! I’m already going, so better hurry!” Joe descended loudly, making the stairs squeak every time he stepped on a loose plank.

Barry slowly got out of his bed. As soon as he wasn’t covered in blankets anymore, he started to freeze: his room felt like Captain Cold personally had turned it into a cooling chamber. That thought made him giggle quietly.

He closed the window and then started to dress, trying to focus on something else. Joe had given him ten minutes, which meant he had to hurry up if he wanted to be there on time and still get a cup of coffee before he would be too late again. He got dressed, brushed his teeth and styled his hair in high speed, then rushed downstairs to meet a sleep-deprived Iris in the kitchen.

“Morning, Barry,” she yawned. She was still wearing her pajamas and a cozy sweater, her standard outfit for cold nights in fall. “Slept well?”

“Yes, actually I did,” he answered while be brewed himself a coffee. Although he had had a really weird, but also strangely satisfying dream about bringing down Nero, and afterward going to the Jitters, which had turned into Willi Wonka’s chocolate factory, he hadn’t woken up once during the night. He hadn’t been ridden by nightmares of his parents’ death, especially not his father’s, nor about Zoom killing everyone he loved. Recently, Zoom hadn’t been the only one, apart from the Reverse-Flash, that had haunted his nights. Nero, who looked like an Italian mafia boss in Barry’s imagination, had attacked his friends and family with the cold gun. Then he killed Lisa, again, still lying in her hospital bed. Then Mick Rory. And then he would turn to Barry and froze him solid. Only that Barry still was conscious afterward, and he could hear everything Nero said.

“See,” Nero would say to Leonard, “I took all of them. You belong to me.” And then he would kill him, too.

Then, at this point, Barry would wake up, bathed in sweat, his breathing heavy.

But this night had been different. Although Nero had appeared in his dreams, the image he had of him had changed: he was no longer the distant, cruel criminal, but looked like a broken boy Barry felt pity for.

Barry took his coffee, filled it into one of the takeaway mugs they had at home and made his way for the door.

“See you tonight, Iris! Or at least I hope so, I don’t know how long this murder investigation will take …”

“It’s fine,” she said and hugged him tightly. “Just make sure both you and Dad come home safely, okay?”

Barry nodded and gave her a friendly smile. And then he was off, heading towards the address Joe had texted him.

 

 

7.15 am, in the back of some dark alley somewhere in Central City

When Barry arrived at the crime scene, he had expected anything but this. In front of him, inside of a large industrial trash can lay the body of a young woman. But she wasn’t just a corpse: she looked like Frankenstein’s monster. Single body parts were sewn together with a thick, black thread. In total, Barry counted seven sutures all over her body. She was scarily pale, almost ghostly-white, and her hair looked like someone tried to burn it. Or like someone had tried to bring her to life with an electroshock therapy – like Frankenstein.

Barry gulped. This murder was definitely too Halloween-themed for his liking. It was cruel and looked like the murderer had mocked the dead woman after he had killed her, and only prepared her body like this for fun, maybe because he was a Halloween enthusiast.

The speedster walked towards Joe, who was standing right next to the trash can, but far away enough to not breathe in the horrible smell of decay that came from the body.

“This – I don’t even have words for this,” Barry commented speechlessly.

“Yeah, me neither. This is just horrible.”

Barry only nodded. “When was she found?”

“A waiter from the restaurant here,” Joe gestured to the back door next to the trash can, “came by one hour ago. He had to clean up from some party there last night, and when he brought the waste to this bin, he found her. Poor guy. Already vomited two times.” Joe pointed towards a small man, sitting behind the police line on the floor, with a large blanket wrapped around him and shaking like mad.

“Huh,” Barry just said. He set down his suitcase containing his materials for securing the crime scene and got to work. He stepped closer to the body, instantly hit with the distinctive smell. He tried hard not to throw up onto the corpse. No matter on how many murder scenes he had been so far during his career, he hasn’t got used to the smell of a rotting body, the flies and the various states of decay the corpses were in sometimes. Again, he was glad he hadn’t pursued the work line of a coroner. Working with dead bodies all day wasn’t really his thing.

As soon as he had given the woman’s body a closer look, he noticed that something was off. From afar, it looked like a single woman, cut into pieces and then roughly sewed back together. But now, Barry could make out slightly different shades of skin tones, too uneven to be just tanning tones. One forearm even had small freckles whereas the upper arm didn’t. “Gross,” Barry muttered disgustedly.

“What is it?” Joe asked, his voice slightly anxious.

“First the good news or the bad?”

“Bad.”

“Okay so: This isn’t exactly one corpse. This woman isn’t one woman; the body parts don’t match. Like, here, this leg has a slightly different skin color as the other one. From what I can see, this Frankenstein version is made of eight different women.”

“Gross.” Disgust displayed in Joe’s eyes. “And what’s the good news?”

“This killer has a pattern: all the women have a very pale, alabaster-like skin. They must have been quite thin, and all around their thirties. I’m gonna take the DNAs from every … part of them, see if I can find out if they have been reported missing before, if they have anything in common, et cetera. But, ah,” he looked slightly uncomfortable, “When I’m correct, we’ll find seven more bodies today.”

“Great.” Joe threw his hands up in frustration. “And I thought this was going to be a quiet day.”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” Barry muttered, as he took a patch of skin from every of the corpse’s body part. Then, he moved away from the trash can and took a closer look at the ground. But he got nearly no clues here, as the street was made of asphalt. Barry sighed. So all he could do was pick up the cigarette butts that lay on the ground, and some old chewing gums. Maybe the murderer had been careless enough to smoke here, but Barry seriously doubted it. He also didn’t think that maybe he had left a hair or some fabric of his clothes, but he scanned the whole crime scene anyway. Maybe he was lucky, and he could find something that led them to their murderer.

 

One hour later, he was done and had searched the whole place, but hadn’t found any new evidence. Whoever who did this had been very careful, there was nothing that could lead the police back to him. Barry sighed.

It was right in that moment when his phone buzzed. He took it out to see that he got a text from Leonard.

 _Can you come over right now?_ it read.

Barry looked up as if to make sure nobody was watching him. This was stupid, of course, nobody would read his texts. But Barry still kind of felt like he was doing something forbidden.

 _Sorry, I can’t, murder investigation going on_ , he replied.

He was just shoving his phone back into his pocket again as it buzzed again.

_Then come as soon as you’re free._

And a few seconds later, _I’ve got nothing to do all day, I’ll wait for you._

Barry was just typing his response, as Leonard texted again.

_But I might get bored and steal something. So hurry when you can._

“He can’t be serious,” Barry grunted under his breath.

_Don’t you dare to steal something! I’ve got enough to do already without having to put up with your ass. I’ll come as soon as I can._

It took Barry a few seconds to realize that his text sounded vaguely ambiguous.

_I meant enough work as a CSI and I don’t have time to run around as the Flash, too!!!_

_Sure that’s what you meant, Barry_ , was Leonard’s response.

Barry could feel his face redden.

 _You’re unbelievable_ , he texted back.

Leonard just responded with a snowflake-emoji.

Barry shook his head and shoved his cell into his back pocket. Not only that Captain Cold made him fluster when they were talking, no, now he also got Barry to blush when he texted him.

“Hey, Barr,” Joe called him. “We just got a call, some old woman on her morning stroll has found another body on the riverbank.”

Barry sighed again but rushed over. This day was going to be an exhausting one.

 

***

 

The last few hours had consisted of Barry running back and forth between his lab and new crime scenes. He had been right, there were more than just two corpses. They had found three other Frankenstein bodies similar to the first. But again, there was no trace of fabric, hair or traces on the ground that could help them find the murderer. Everything was perfect, the killer had worked with such a precision Barry felt like he was in “The Perfect Crime”. He hadn’t even found half a fingerprint, or even a hint that there was actually a human being who had dumped the bodies and not a ghost.

At least he could find out who the women were. In all of the five bodies they had found, the murderer had used body parts from the same eight women. And for every body exactly one piece of one of the eight, every body was sewn together by the eight women.

As soon as Barry had found this out, he suddenly felt unable to eat. Although he indeed was hungry from all the running around, he felt like he had to throw up as soon as food would get into his stomach. The idea of the man killing eight women and basically creating the perfect woman, the one fitting best to his ideal, crept Barry out and disgusted him. He already had talked to Cisco and Caitlin, to see if they could find anything out about the victims, some connection, or anything at all, that would help Barry and the CCPD to solve this murder.

There was, however, in fact, one connection Barry was able to make: all of these women looked the same. They all had dark, brown hair, were around thirty years old, had dark brown eyes, the same height and weight and a thin figure. This was the part that unsettled Barry the most.

This killer – Cisco started to call him C.C. Frankenstein – had a scheme, a certain type he went after. And, from what the coroners had told him, he also had worked with a surgical precision, which immediately reminded Barry of Jack the Ripper, who also had been a surgeon and used this ability to murder his victims.

Whoever this guy was, he was a pro.

Barry was busy with evaluating some test results for the blood samples he had gotten from the coroners. It turned out that all of the eight women had the same trace of poison in their veins. It had already degraded to some point, but now Barry was running the final test to make sure that this was how they had been murdered. At least C.C. Frankenstein didn’t cut those women’s body parts off while they were alive, Barry thought.

The sound of boot heels pulled him out of his concentration. He turned towards the entrance to his lab to see a smiling Iris walking towards him, carrying two takeaway coffees from the Jitters in her hands.

“Hey, Barry,” she greeted him with a smile. Barry had to admit she looked beautiful today: she wore a dark gray, woolen skirt with black tights underneath and black boots. A curry-yellow blouse was tucked inside the skirt, and above this, she wore a large, brown coat. She really did manage to match the look of fall outside, the leaves having the same color as her outfit.

She handed Barry one of the coffees which he took gladly. “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” he replied, but not being able to ban the sound of his tiredness and slight desperation out of his voice.

Iris must’ve noticed it because she instantly raised her eyebrows. “You sure? Because Central City is slowly turning into Halloween Town, and you’re right in the middle of it. I wouldn’t be okay if I were you.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not really _okay_ , but it’s okay. I mean, if I can help to find this murderer … hey, how much of all this has reached the press?”

“Well, basically everything. Everyone has a smart phone, someone even posted a few pics of one of the corpses on Facebook. All of Central’s citizens know that some maniac played Frankenstein in this town.”

Barry slid down on his chair, ruffling his hair in desperation. “Well, this is just great.”

“Don’t worry too much, Barry.” She ruffled through his hair playfully. “I’m sure you all can solve this. And maybe if Caitlin and Cisco can help … it might all be over quicker, and you and Dad can come home early and we all watch ‘The Nightmare before Christmas’ like every Halloween. Oh, I forgot to tell you!” She suddenly sounded excited. “On my way here, I saw some little kids doing trick or treat. And here, look,” she pulled put her phone and handed it to Barry, “some of them dressed up as Flash!”

Barry scrolled through the photos. The image of these kids suddenly made him happy, a warmth spreading through his body and making his chest swell with pride. Apparently, they all still liked their hero.

“This is _sooooo_ cute,” Iris said and pulled the ‘o’ extra long.

Barry stared on a particular pic, amazed by its sweetness. “There’s even one dressed up as Captain Cold!” he said. The small child on the photo stood next to another who was dressed as the Flash. Both were holding each other’s hands, and in their other free hand a large pumpkin, already full of sweets they had gotten.

“Yep! I even asked them, and they said they were best friends, and they think that the Flash and Cold are actually best friends, too, but that they have to pretend to be enemies in public so nobody would find out.” She giggled. “I wish this was true, you had so much less trouble then.”

Barry blushed under her story. “That would be nice, yeah,” he answered quietly.

In that exact moment, Barry’s phone buzzed again. He threw Iris an apologetic look before he got his phone out to check who had texted him. Speaking the devil, Barry thought sarcastically as he opened a new message from Leonard.

_How long ‘till you’re done?_

If someone would read their conversation from today, or know about their past weeks, one could actually think that they were friends.

“What are you smiling at?” Iris asked. She sounded innocent, but Barry knew her well enough to know that she was only hiding her curiosity and that she wouldn’t rest until she found out.

“No-Nothing,” Barry stammered, trying to make a casual face.

“You’re blushing, Barry.” She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. “Who’s texting you? Do you have a secret new lover I don’t know about?”

“No, I don’t really.” He couldn’t help but blush more. “It’s just, all those kids dressing up as Flash, it’s pretty cool.”

“Yeah, it definitely is.” She narrowed her eyes suspiciously but didn’t say anything else. “Anyways, I gotta go back. Let’s see if I can minimize the amount of info that’s leaking to the public from the case.”

“That would be great, thanks!”

“No problem, Barry.” She pulled him into a warm hug. “See you tonight!”

Barry exhaled loudly as soon as Iris had left. One day, she would definitely find out about this thing with Leonard.

He got his phone out and texted him back.

_Not sure, we’re right in the middle of it._

He waited for a second before he added another message.

_Please do me a favor and don’t steal anything today, okay?_

_Chill a bit, Scarlet, I’ll be a model citizen today, I promise._

Barry just texted him a thumps-up-emoji. He didn’t know how much he could rely on the promise Leonard gave, but he had to trust him so far that he would stick to his word today.

He put his cell down and turned back to the samples. Carefully, he put a drop of it on a piece of glass and lay that under his microscope. But as soon as he looked at it through the lenses, he noticed something odd. The blood didn’t show the typical reaction of blood cells with poison, but more like someone had given the women a painkiller. Barry got up and narrowed his eyes. He took another drop of the sample, but this time, he put it into a beaker and mixed it with a bit of water. Slowly, he added formaldehyde and a bit of sulfuric acid. The solution turned into a violet color.

Barry sat down. The murderer had given those women morphine before he had cut them into pieces. And that meant he must have cut them while they had still been alive.

 

 

5 pm, Big Belly Burgers

The man sat there quietly. He had been here for over an hour now, doing nothing really. He observed the clients, who came, who went again, who stayed or who took something for takeaway. Around four o’clock, there had been a young man, around twenty-seven years old, together with that black cop that was everywhere on TV. The cop had talked about the murders, the bodies the man in the restaurant had dropped everywhere over the city. It was all over the news. Pictures of those women had leaked through the internet, freaking the people in the city out. The media started to call it “Halloween City” now.

For that, the man was actually proud. The women had been dead for weeks, he had just conserved them in a large cooling chamber. He knew Halloween would be the perfect day to get rid of them. The media was right, they looked like the female version of Frankenstein’s monster, the man had made sure of that when he had tried to bring them back to life.

Claire had loved Halloween. Even weeks before, she had already started to prepare everything. She would carve pumpkins, decorate the house with fake spider webs, setting up candles everywhere. She used to throw a party, every Halloween since college and invited all their friends. Halloween had been her thing. Together, they had watched every horror movie there was, everything that was only a bit Halloween-y. On the day itself, they would wait for the children living in the neighborhood to knock on their door for treats. They would watch their favorite Halloween classics together, drink pumpkin spiced hot chocolate, eat a pumpkin pie and celebrate their favorite holiday.

But all that stopped two years ago.

Two years ago, after he had found the love of his life dead in their room, hanging down the red chandelier. She had been pale, even paler than usual. And on the floor, just underneath her feet, there had been her farewell letter. Eight pages in total, handwritten, in her tiny writing. But even after he had read all of this several times, he still couldn’t believe it. Couldn’t accept her death. She had always been so full of life! So happy; and they had been so happy together.

The man took a sip of his coke and finished the last bit of his fries. It was time to go. He had still a lot to prepare before he would join Claire later. Then, they would be united again. And this time, it’d be for eternity.

 

 

7.30 pm, Central City Police Department

Captain Singh had called all of his officers and those working for the CCPD for an immediate crisis meeting. He was standing in the middle of a large circle that was loosely formed around him. He wore a serious look on his face, his eyes were ridden by deep concern. The whole day all of the police had been out there, searching for the bodies of the eight dead women, trying to find any clues that would give away their murderer but with no success. The seventh body was found nearly an hour ago, tied to a lamppost in a back street in one of Central’s suburbs. It had looked cruel, even more gruesome than the body that had been strapped to a wooden bench in an abandoned industrial site. But now there was still one stitched-up corpse out there, somewhere in Central.

“So,” Captain Singh was saying, his voice drained. He sounded tired; there wasn’t even the usual sharpness. “As you all know very well, there has been some maniac dropping dead bodies all over the city today. Unfortunately, we haven’t got any clue yet who that killer is. But he has a pattern.” With that, he turned his attention to Joe who had been appointed as the leading detective for this special case. Singh gestured him to talk.

“Yes. Well, you all know that these bodies are some Frankenstein-version of eight dead women. So far, we could identify them, and the thing they all have in common is that they basically look the same.” Joe looked around and found the coroner.

“Ah, yes, right.” The coroner was an old man, around sixty, with silver hair and a short, slightly intimidating figure. “So, from what I could gather, this killer actually tried to revive them. Literally like Frankenstein. And, ah, considering what Detective West said that the, um, victims were all similar in looks, I think that this guy, whoever it is, has lost a person in his life, probably, or most definitely a woman, who looked exactly like those we’re finding now. Maybe she is even one of them.” His eyes darted nervously from one officer to another. Clearly, he wasn’t used to speaking of his examinations and his assumptions about the perpetrator in front of so many people. “He had loved her, obviously, and couldn’t cope with her loss. So he tries everything to get her back. But without success, I’d say.”

“So we’re looking for a guy suffering from depression, who has lost a person dear to him looking like our dead women,” Singh concluded.

The coroner just nodded in agreement.

“Good. Allen,” the captain addressed Barry, “I want you to make a search for any other matches with the victims concerning their similarities. Maybe our killer lost her because she died. If that’s the case, we can find him.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“And the rest of you go out and find that goddamn last corpse! I want this case solved as soon as possible. But before,” he added as some officers already tried to leave the meeting, “just a reminder that the press already knows about these murders. And they know way too much. Some info must have leaked somehow, the public even knows _how_ these women were killed.” He looked around, his face deadly serious. “No more information must be told to the media. Nothing. Because otherwise there might be a copycat, and then we have a serious problem.” It was quiet in the room, the whole attention was on Singh. “Now go back to your task and find this killer,” he dismissed.

Barry exhaled loudly and walked towards Joe. As soon as he was sure nobody would hear him, he started to speak. “Listen, Joe, I still could just zip around the city and try to find the last body. It’d be a lot quicker–”

“No, Barry,” Joe answered just as quietly, “it’s fine. Do what Singh wants, we’ll find the last body.”

“Really? Because it doesn’t bother me, seriously.”

“It’s fine, we got this. Besides,” he leaned a little close to Barry and gave him a knowing look. “I think Singh would be very embarrassed if the Flash saves the day _again_.”

Barry had to laugh. “Yeah, you’re probably right about that.”

Joe gave his son a friendly pat on the shoulder before he turned to his workplace again.

Barry went upstairs to his lab. As soon as he was at his computer, he typed in the information about the victims, the things all of them shared and started a nationwide search for another woman who might fit this profile. It took his computer ten minutes to find over thousand possible matches. Barry sighed. He threw a securing look over his shoulder before he looked at all these profiles in high speed.

But he did find something. One of the women actually lived in Central City – or more like had lived. She had committed suicide two years ago. Her name was Claire Novak. She had a husband, Keith, who still lived in Central according to the file.

Barry furrowed his eyebrows deep in thought. So maybe this Keith guy was the one they were looking for. What if he never got over her death? Then he might try everything to bring her back to life or even bring back copies that could replace her, so that he could be, from his point of view, be together with his love again. It all fitted. But Barry wasn’t completely convinced. This was just one possibility, what if the guy killing the women was someone entirely different? Maybe a stalker-kind-of-guy, someone who had worshiped Claire, even worshiped more than her husband did.

Either way, Barry printed out the results of his search. He went downstairs to give them to Joe. They definitely had to go and ask Keith Novak a few questions; even if he wasn’t C.C. Frankenstein, then maybe he knew something. If Claire Novak was the woman that C.C. was so concerned about at all.

 

 

20.15 pm, Leonard’s apartment

Barry made his way from the CCPD to Leonard’s apartment. The officers that still had been in the headquarters and not out there looking for the last corpse, had paid Keith Novak a little visit. But after they had been waiting in front of his apartment door for ten minutes, they had broken in only to find his apartment abandoned. After that, Captain Singh had called it a day and allowed everyone to go home. The police would resume their work in the morning and try to find any other leads on C.C. Frankenstein. And then they’d start looking for the eighth corpse again as well, which still hadn’t been found by the time Barry had left the building.

Although he was tired from his work today, he still made his way over at Leonard’s. He had promised to come by after all, to continue their planning on how to take down Nero Fitzgerald, and unlike some criminal, he stuck to his word.

Barry knocked on the door three times and waited. He wasn’t even sure if Leonard was at home, or if he was out in a bar or somewhere else. But then, Leonard’s voice interrupted Barry’s thoughts and demanded him to come inside.

“I didn’t think you’d come today,” Leonard noted in his typical drawling voice with the usual smirk on his lips. He was half sitting, half laying on his couch with his legs on top of the backrest.

“Yeah, well, sorry I’m late.” Barry rubbed the back of his neck with one hand and stepped inside the criminal’s apartment carefully. “But these murders were pretty time-consuming.”

“These Frankenstein murders where the killer sews together several body parts from different women?” Leonard asked innocently.

“How–? Nevermind. Of course you know.”

“Central’s police aren’t quite careful when it comes to protecting evidence from story-hungry journalists.” He closed the book he was holding in his hands loudly and put it on the coffee table in front of the couch. With his head, he motioned Barry to sit down on the unoccupied end.

Barry sat down gladly, tucking his right leg underneath the left and leaned back. He closed his eyes for a few seconds. Tiredness and exhaustion washed over him. He had been working for more than twelve hours now, with his senses on high alert. Although he hadn’t been directly out there on the field the whole day like Joe or any other detective, this case still seemed to have strained him.

Leonard eyed him curiously. “Had a rough day?”

“You could say that,” Barry said, eyes still closed.

“I guess you’re not in the mood for any further planning, are you?”

Barry opened his eyes again and turned his head to face the other man. Leonard was looking at him, his blue eyes fixed on Barry. But he didn’t seem to mock him, he seemed just to be interested as in how this whole evening would go on.

“To be honest, not really. This day was … pretty shitty.”

“Okay, fine. What you want to do then?”

Barry looked at him, startled. “You don’t want me to leave?” he asked doubtfully.

“Why should I when you’re such a nice company, Scarlet.” Now he was smirking again, but yet he seemed to mean what he said.

Barry blushed under his words, his cheeks turning literally scarlet. “Er … Thanks, I guess.”

“You’re very welcome.” Leonard studied Barry’s face before he spoke again. “I’d ask you tell me about your day if that’d help, but I don’t think you’re allowed to, are you?”

“Well, we’re not allowed to share any information about an ongoing investigation with anyone not involved, but especially not with one of the police’s most wanted.” He let out a little laugh.

“What a shame,” Len answered with a tragic voice. “But there’s nothing to be done about that.”

Barry laughed again, and on Len’s lips appeared a small smile. “So, what you want to do instead, Barry? Watch a film? Have a pillow fight? Trying to stop me from stealing something?”

“I’d totally beat you in a pillow fight.”

Leonard let out a laugh. “Don’t be so sure about that. You may be fast, but I have seventeen years of more experience, kid.”

“Which also means that your bones are seventeen years older than mine and you’re more likely to get lumbago.”

“Touché.”

“But movie sounds nice,” Barry said. The tension in his chest eased a little. He started to feel comfortable around Leonard, even though he knew he shouldn’t. He should never let his guard down around this man, never trust him. But somehow, he enjoyed his presence and he even started to tolerate the stupid cold puns the older man always made.

Leonard reached out for the TV remote and turned on the TV.

“You have a Netflix account?” Barry asked with his eyes wide as he recognized the familiar logo on the screen.

Leonard sighed before he answered, “It’s actually Lisa’s. She complained about me not having anything at home with what she can entertain herself when she’s staying over, so she just installed it while I wasn’t looking.” He scrolled through the films that Netflix recommended him. “Want to watch anything in particular?”

“No, not really.”

Leonard kept scrolling. “What about ‘From Hell’? Kinda fits the day with all the blood and the murder.”

“Oh no, I had enough corpses today already.”

Len chuckled. “What about ‘Harry Potter’, then?”

“Agreed.”

Leonard chose the first of the eight movies and pressed play. He got up from the couch and went to the kitchen and came back with a pack of Mikado sticks and two beers in his hands. He handed one to Barry and placed the snack between them, easy for both of them to reach.

“To an evening at home with my nemesis that actually might turn out really nice,” he said as he sat down and held his bottle towards Barry. The speedster laughed but took the cheer anyway. “Yeah, and maybe to more evenings like that.” Barry grinned and tapped his own bottle against Leonard’s.

For the next two and a half hours, they sat next to each other and watched the film. Sometimes Barry would lip-synch what the characters said, what earned him a funny look from Leonard, but he didn’t care. Hartley Rathaway might be a huge Harry Potter nerd, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be one, too.

Barry started to relax. A warmth has started to spread inside him; a certain warmth he used to feel when he had been around Patty or was around Iris. He knew what it meant, of course, but he blissfully ignored it as well as the goosebumps he got every time when his thigh accidently touched Leonard’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter doesn't strictly belong to the plot but it has some Coldflash fluff and I lovelovelove Halloween, so I decided to honour it my way ;) Tell me what you think about it (and also if I'm straying too far off from the actual story line ...).  
> Anyway, I hope you liked it xx  
> By the way, the song this time at the beginning has nothing to do with Coldflash (obviously) but I recently watched "The Nightmare Before Christmas" by Tim Burton for the first time ever, and I loved it and the song kinda fits the chapter.


	10. All Saints' Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things That Could Cause Trouble: Part Two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (The Halloween chapter was actually supposed to be only one, but then it would've had over 10k words, so I decided to split it. Enjoy now what happens in the second part on 1st of November!! xx)

 

_“Tell me beautiful lies, I wish that I had the strength to let go, but I don’t.” – Birdy_

 

 Tuesday, 7.22 am, Leonard’s apartment

Barry woke up the next day with a pain in his back that didn’t allow him to ignore it and definitely not to keep sleeping. It was still dark outside, the only light in the room coming from a lamp far away. He shifted in his bed and changed his sleeping position. Maybe he just had laid wrong and his back had twisted somehow and this was now causing this annoying ache.

He rolled over to his left, but nearly fell out of his bed.

Odd. His bed was king-sized, he should have enough space for any movements and shifting during the night without falling off.

It was only then when he realized he wasn’t actually at home in his bed, but somewhere else, but still somewhere familiar. Carefully, he opened his eyes. It took a few seconds until they had adjusted to the dim light. Now he could take in his surroundings: he was laying on a couch, covered in several blankets. To his left was a wooden door that looked like an apartment door, next to that was a large TV hanging on the wall. Barry sucked in the smell of blankets. They smelled like a bonfire, fresh laundry, and some cologne.

Oh. He was in Leonard’s apartment. Which meant that –

“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty,” Leonard’s voice sounded from the kitchen. “Slept well?”

Barry sat upright, pushing away the numerous blankets that lay on top of him. He rubbed his eyes and turned towards Leonard who was leaning against the kitchen counter with a huge mug in his hand. Hot steam rose from it. Leonard looked relaxed, wearing a slightly larger black sweater than normal, not as figure-accentuating as his usual sweaters, and a pair of black sweatpants. Barry gulped, heat rising in his cheeks. Even dressed this casual he looked handsome, and considering the smirk on his face, Leonard had already guessed Barry’s thoughts.

“Why am I here?” Only after these words had left Barry’s mouth, he realized it sounded rude. Apparently, Leonard had let him stay here for the night, and now he was being ungrateful.

But the other man, in fact, smiled a small smile before he turned towards the coffeepot standing next to him and poured another cup. “You fell asleep last night, somewhere during the last thirty minutes of the movie,” he answered. He turned to Barry again and walked forward, handing him the freshly brewed coffee and sat down next to him. Barry took it gratefully, his eyes still trying to shut and drive him back to sleep.

“I tried to wake you up, but I must say, you definitely have a deep sleep.” A smirk appeared on his lips again. “So I put you on the couch and gave you a pillow and a blanket.”

“Thanks for that,” Barry said. He blushed, of course, considering that Captain Cold had carried him again and took care of him, _again_.

“You’re very welcome, Barry.”

They both sipped their coffee in silence, both still too tired to talk much. Barry shifted in his position, but suddenly a pain rose up his back. He gasped. It didn’t hurt that much, but it was a rather unpleasant feeling that definitely came from his night on the couch. Not very ergonomic, obviously.

“By the way,” Leonard interrupted the silence, not without looking at Barry in amusement, “you talk in your sleep.”

Barry blushed even harder than before. “S-Seriously? What did I say?” He already knew, of course, that sometimes he had a whole conversation with himself during the night. Iris had made fun of that when they were kids but called him cute for doing so. But now, he wasn’t at home in his own bed nor near his family who was already used to that. He kind of was in his enemy’s territory. What if he had said something embarrassing? Captain Cold would sure as hell use it to blackmail the speedster with.

“Relax, nothing serious,” Leonard answered. He seemed to clearly enjoy this situation, letting the younger man dangle. “Something about C.C. Frankenstein, Nero … and me.”

Barry’s face grew, if possible, even redder. It’s true, all three of them had appeared in his dream again tonight. He had had a nightmare, where C.C. Frankenstein had killed not only those eight women but also Iris. He had found her in the back of the Jitters with exactly the same cuts and stitches as those poor women. He had started to cry, wailed in sadness and grief. But then, Leonard had walked out of the Jitters and just taken him in his arms. He remembered so well because he had his smell in his nose and felt a warmth inside and around him that eventually stopped his crying. Leonard had said nothing; he just had held him and had gently stroked his back while he was waiting for Barry to calm down. But then out of the blue, Leonard had been pulled away from him. Nero had suddenly been standing in front of Barry, strangling him to death. After that, Barry probably must’ve woken up, but fallen asleep directly after that, because the next thing he remembered was that he was strolling over the Hogwarts grounds towards Hagrid’s hut on a sunny day in the afternoon.

“I, um, kind of had a nightmare of you getting killed by Nero. Nothing special, don’t worry about it,” Barry confessed, but tried to make it sound as if it was nothing and that he hadn’t been devastated by the look of Leonard’s dead body on the pavement. He tried to clear his head of this image.

“This happens often?”

“Sometimes, yes, but it varies. I mean, sometimes I see you getting killed, then Iris, Cisco, Caitlin, Joe, Wally … basically everyone, but then again, this is nothing special, I had those dreams every time there was someone dangerous out there who threatened my family.” It was true, it happened often. The only new thing was that now Leonard was one of those people he cared about.

Barry shrugged, hoping that this might end this gloom conversation. Leonard took the hint and just nodded with some sort of comprehension in his eyes. Which, as Barry thought about it, he probably did. Lisa was the person he cared about, maybe even cared about more than he cared about his own life. He sure must have had a similar dream, too at some point.

The two men sat in silence once more, both dwelling on their own thoughts. After a few minutes, Leonard got up from the armrest of the couch where he had been sitting on and walked towards the kitchen. There was a large clock hanging on the wall between the kitchen window and the exhaust duct. It read quarter to eight.

Breakfast time. Barry’s stomach gave loud rumble.

Leonard’s laughed echoed from the kitchen. “I just wanted to ask you about breakfast, but apparently that question in unnecessary.”

“Yeah, well, I have to eat more than a normal human being because of my, you know, increased metabolism and all the running does take up a lot of calories. And I didn’t really have a proper meal yesterday, just some snacks here and there, so yes, I’m pretty hungry,” he rambled.

Leonard just answered with a laugh again, his smirk appearing on his face again.

Did this guy smirk all the time? Barry asked himself silently.

“A simple ‘yes’ would have been enough, Scarlet, but alright, I’ll make us breakfast.”

Barry’s face turned scarlet again.

Len went to the fridge and took out several things, including eggs, some bacon, beans and other stuff. Meanwhile, Barry rose up from the couch and joined Leonard in the kitchen. He was still wearing his clothes from the previous day which were now a bit wrinkled.

“So, how did you sleep?” Barry asked politely in an attempt to pick up their conversation.

“Peachy,” Leonard answered while putting four eggs in a bowl.

Barry raised his eyebrows.

Leonard sighed and looked at the other. Barry met his piercing gaze, the blue standing out more than usual in this dim morning light. “Since my sister got attacked and Nero is running around free, I kind of find it hard to find sleep at all.”

For a small second, Barry could see the tiredness in the older man’s eyes, and together with the dark circles that were illuminated right now, he looked more worn out than he had ever seen him. Concern, something like regret, and worry were mirrored in this crystal clear shade of blue, clouding the criminal’s eyes. But before Barry could comment on that, Leonard had put on his mask of coolness again.

Barry smiled kindly. “We’ll bring him down, okay?”

“I really appreciate your confidence in us, Barry, but considering what happened the last time, our chances are pretty low.”

“Yeah, okay, the last time went erratic, but we can learn from the mistakes we made, and make it better the next time.” He stood next to the criminal and looked deep into his eyes. “Nero’s just human, he will make a mistake, too at some point. But even if not, I know we can do this. I mean, we have you, Captain Cold, best thief in the world who always has a plan and sometimes wins against me, the Flash, who is the fastest man alive. I’ve had worse enemies than him, like Zoom or the Reverse-Flash, so Nero’s nothing compared to them.” He put his hand on Leonard’s shoulder to reassure him. The thief flinched a little, but then relaxed and leaned in Barry’s touch, even if it was just a little.

The speedster felt a tingling sensation in his stomach but decided to ignore it for now. This wasn’t about his feelings, this was about the general good, helping a friend and doing the right thing.

“Thanks, Barry,” Leonard answered with a thin, but genuine smile.

Barry squeezed his shoulder lightly before he let go and put his hand down. Leonard turned again to the breakfast, now whisking the eggs together with some milk and herbs. Barry grabbed the tomatoes Leonard had put out and washed them. Together, they prepared their breakfast, mostly in silence. It wasn’t an uncomfortable or awkward silence, though. Both men seemed relaxed, working together in perfect harmony. No words needed to be shared, it was as if they understood each other anyway.

It was only when Leonard rolled up his sleeves to fry the eggs, bacon, and the mushrooms when Barry noticed the ink on Leonard’s body.

“You’ve got tattoos?” Barry asked incredulously.

Leonard raised his eyebrows at him and chuckled. “Yes, I do, what’s so interesting about that?”

“Nothing, I just … I didn’t know or never noticed, that’s all.”

“Well, they’re mainly on my upper body, shoulder blades and arms, and as I don’t run around naked in public, you never had any chance to notice.” He sprinkled some salt and pepper over the mushrooms.

“But I’d bet it’d look good. I mean, you without a shirt and with the tattoos.” Barry instantly blushed and closed his eyes, ashamed. Did he really just say that?

Leonard just laughed. “Why, Barry, I never took you for such a straightforward guy.”

“That’s not what I – Okay, sorry, don’t mind me, forget what I said while I die of shame,” he blurted out, trying to save this situation.

“You want to see them?” Len asked, not reacting to what Barry just said.

Barry’s eyes grew wide in surprise but he caught himself quickly again. “You’d show something so personal to me?”

“Well, I’ve seen you shirtless, it’s only fair.”

“Yes, then, I’d love to.”

Leonard chuckled and pulled his sweater over his head. “But if this is just a pretense to see me naked, note that all you had to do was ask, Scarlet.”

“It’s not …”

“Yes, yes, I know,” Leonard smirked but turned towards their breakfast. He quickly saved their food from burning before he turned to face Barry again.

The speedster stared at the older man in awe. His skin was darker than Barry’s, a bit olive-like. He definitely was broad shouldered; his torso defined by muscles. Not too much, though, but the right amount to make him look like some kind of god. God of theft, a small part of Barry’s mind thought. But the rest focused on what he saw. Len’s whole torso was covered in several tattoos, not really linked to each other, but together, they formed a picture so formidable that all Barry could do was to gape. He felt his face grew red as some of the blood rushed from his brains to other body parts where it definitely should not rush to.

“They’re amazing,” Barry authored with a whisper.

And they truly were. On the downside of his left forearm was a black wolf tattooed into his skin. It howled at the moon which was only a tiny silhouette inside the crook of his arm. The wolf looked fierce, like the strong animal it was. It was so detailed, the different streaks of the fur looking like they were real, and when Len moved his arm, it looked like as if the wind was altering the image, making it move. Towards his wrist, the wolf’s pelage changes into flames, decorating Leonard’s skin.

“This one is for Mick,” Leonard explained, following Barry’s gaze. “I got it when we ran away with Lisa, to save her from my father. The three of us, Mick, Lisa, and me, we lived alone for some time, breaking into abandoned houses, into apartments where we knew the owners were away.” His eyes clouded with the memory. “Then, Mick had to go to prison again, and Lisa and I were back at my father’s hands. But I got myself that tattoo, to remind me of that time, and of what Mick meant to me. And I got this one,” he pointed at the tattoo that moved up from his right shoulder, over his collarbone, and towards his chest, also in blackwork style, “for Lisa.”

It was a dragon, as detailed as the wolf, that curled its way up around a string of roses. The first rose around the dragon’s tail was still closed, nothing more than  flower bud. But the next roses were blossoming more and more with each new flower, until the last one stood there in its beauty, wide open and strong, equal to the dragon’s head.

“These are … amazing,” Barry managed to get out. “Why did you chose these symbols? I mean, I get the fire for Mick and the roses for Lisa, but why a dragon and a wolf?”

Leonard smiled. “The wolf was my sis’ idea. After we ran away, she compared us to a wolf pack, with me being the alpha and Mick the beta. And this kind of stuck until the very end. And the dragon … well, it is a symbol for strength, endurance, grace and power. It fitted, especially after what Lewis did to her.”

“This is just … wow.” Barry stood there in awe, still staring at Leonard’s inked body. He let his eyes wander once more, towards the simple tribal tattoo that decorated Len’s right forearm. It accentuated his muscles and reinforced Barry’s impression of Leonard being actually a very good-looking and equally hot guy.

Leonard turned towards the breakfast again to make sure nothing had burned while Barry had stared at him with his mouth ajar. He smiled to himself, a smile Barry still could see from where he stood. But a soon as he threw a look at Leonard’s back, he couldn’t help but gasp loudly. On Leonard’s back was a huge, fierce-looking bird, like a phoenix. It nearly covered his entire back, his skin more inked than not. But Barry wasn’t sorry; it just looked way too amazing. The phoenix was rising in the air, his wings half spread. It had opened his beak to a screech, or to a song, like Dumbledore’s phoenix Fawkes. The phoenix was black, kept in the same style as the other two animals on Leonard’s body. Every single feather was visible, every structure, everything. The bird looks so real as if it wanted to rise from Leonard’s body up into the air. But maybe the reason why it looked so utterly beautiful wasn’t because of the details. Around the phoenix, in an icy-blue color were hundreds of tiny snowflakes, floating around the bird, taking up the places that usually belonged to the fire. But seeing it on Leonard’s body like that, snowflakes surrounding the strong animal seemed only right.

Barry stepped closer towards Leonard to get a better look at this masterpiece. When Leonard moved his muscles, the phoenix moved too, rising high, flying. Barry had to resist the urge and touch Leonard’s skin, just to find out how it’d feel under his fingers.

“I don’t think I have to tell you why I got this one,” Leonard commented quietly.

“No,” Barry answered because he understood. He knew, from what Lisa had told him and Caitlin and Cisco about their father, that Leonard had been abused, more than her. He had taken her beatings, and those beatings left a lot of scars. Scars, Leonard wanted to cover up with something strong, to show that he was stronger, better than his father.

“This is amazing,” Barry said again. “But to be honest, I thought that if you had tats, you’d be more the Prison-Break-Michael-Scofield-type.”

He could hear the smirk in Leonard’s voice as he answered, “I don’t need a map inked into my body to get out of a prison, Scarlet.”

“Yes, that I know.”

Then, Leonard turned away from the stove and put their fried breakfast onto the two plates standing on the counter. Barry took them out of his hands as soon as both of them were filled with bacon, scrambled eggs, mushrooms, tomatoes and baked beans. A typical English breakfast, Barry thought amused. He put the plates onto the high table and sat down. Len slid onto the barstool next to him, handing him some toast and coffee.

“I hope it still tastes good; I got a bit distracted when you were seducing me.”

“I wasn’t – I just admired your tattoos!”

“Yes, sure you did, that’s also why your pupils dilated so much.” He pulled his sweater over his head again.

Meanwhile, Barry ignored him blissfully which earned him a smug grin from the other man.

They ate in silence, but again it wasn’t awkward or anything. The food was good, really good, Barry had to admit that. But of course, fate wouldn’t let him have one calm morning, especially not if it was such a nice morning with his arch-enemy who somehow wasn’t really his arch-enemy anymore, but something much deeper.

Barry’s phone rang with Joe’s name as caller-ID. Barry sighed and threw Leonard an apologetic look before he pressed the green button.

“Hey, Joe, what’s up?”

“Barry!” Joe nearly cried. “Thank God, you’re okay, we thought something happened to you after you didn’t come home last night!”

“Um, yeah, sorry about that, I was at a, ah, friend’s place and I fell asleep there.”

“Friends, huh?” Leonard whispered with a smirk on his lips, loud enough for Barry to hear but inaudible for Joe. Barry just threw him a dark look that told him to shut up. The other man raised his hands in defense but kept smirking anyway.

Barry rolled his eyes before he concentrated on his conversation with Joe again.

“You tell me later about that. Now I need you here. We have found Keith Novak’s body. He has committed suicide.”

“Oh. Okay, I’m right there, give me two minutes.”

“We found him in the old house of him and Claire in their former bedroom.”

“Okay, this is kinda weird,” Barry said with a disgusted tone in his voice.

“And we found a letter – just come over, you’ll see. The address is 123 Magnolia Street.” With that, Joe hung up.

“Okay, he’s probably pissed,” Barry muttered to himself, but he knew Joe only meant good. Although Barry was over twenty-seven years old, Joe still was his father (or at least his father figure) and naturally worried about him when he seemed to have disappeared. He could also imagine that he had called Caitlin and Cisco only to hear that they didn’t know where Barry was either. He sighed again. He had to come up with an excuse, fast.

“You’ve got to go?” Leonard asked him, interrupting his thoughts.

“Yes, yes. They found the body of a man who is probably yesterday’s Frankenstein killer.”

“I see. Well, then go and be a hero, Barry.”

“I’m just a CSI right now.”

“Still one of the good guys.”

Barry shrugged. “I’m coming over later again, then we can finally continue planning, okay?”

“Alright,” Leonard smirked his typical smirk again. “Seems like you definitely want to see me.”

“It’s not – oh, shut up.” He blushed. “Bye, Leonard, see you.” And with that, he zoomed out of his apartment and towards the address Joe had given him. He still could hear Leonard’s chuckle in his ears.

 

 

 

8.45 am, Keith and Claire Novak’s house

Barry arrived exactly five minutes after Joe had called him at the house. He had flashed to his lab before he had made his way to the house, just to grab his case with the materials he needed to secure the crime scene and change into different clothes and just shortly brush his teeth. As soon as he arrived, he hurried upstairs where he supposed the bedroom was. Joe was standing in the entrance to a room, his face having a greenish, ill-looking color.

“Barr!” he called out as soon as he saw his foster son. “There you are, finally.” He hugged him shortly before he pushed Barry gently into the room.

The sight was horrible. The room was quadratic; the walls were painted in a sea-green color. On the left wall was a large window, nearly taking up the whole width of the wall. In front of Barry stood a large, wooden closet, next to a wooden queen-sized four-poster bed. And in this bed lay the corpse of a woman. She looked peaceful as if she was asleep. But the black stitches around her neck, her arms and probably also her legs indicated she was, in fact dead. Killed, like the other seven women, and tried to be brought back to life, but failed.

Except this wasn’t the cruelest thing. From the red chandelier on the ceiling hang a man. He had a white string around his neck that was fixed on the chandelier’s arms. His eyes were closed, and his skin was scarily white. Right under his feet on the floor lay a roll of what looked like parchment. Keith Novak’s farewell letter.

Barry gulped. Joe must’ve read his mind as he began to speak, “It’s horrid, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, definitely,” Barry answered and exhaled audibly. “It’s just … why would he do this?”

“I have no idea.”

“Do we have confirmation that he killed those women?”

“Not yet. But we have his letter, maybe he told us something about it.”

Barry nodded and unpacked his camera. He took pictures of the crime scene and began to analyze every piece of evidence he could find. Half an hour later, he was done. This place had been so clean as if someone had cleaned it up only a few days ago. There wasn’t any dust, not even on top of the closet. No hair, no traces of a fight, heck, there wasn’t even dirt from outside in this room. This place was kept almost sterile like it was at the crime scenes yesterday.

Barry finally allowed the coroners and other officerrs to clear this place up, take down Keith Novak’s corpse and the dead woman on the bed. He picked up the parchment roll and walked towards Joe.

“Shall we read what he has to say?”

“Hell, definitely. I wanna know if he’s this C.C. Frankenstein killer of if we still haven’t found our guy.”

Barry just nodded and unrolled the parchment.

 

_Dear police officers (or whoever is going to find this),_

_My name is Keith Novak, as you probably know. I am, in fact, the guy you are looking for. I did kill these women._

_Theresa May. Jodie Richards. Elena-Laura Montgomery. Alice Johnson. Sophie Perry. Clarisse McDonald. Annabelle Tal. Holly Doe. And my wife, Claire Novak._

_I did kill these women, but not to take their life, but to create. To bring back my wife, my true love, who had killed herself two years ago. I created women that were like her, their figure, their looks, their characters. I thought I could bring them back, give them a new life and bring back Claire. Giving those women what I had taken from them, but only better. Claire was the best person in the entire world. She was like sunshine after a rainy day, like the first flower after a hard winter. She was love. She was all I needed._

_But I couldn’t do it. I failed, I failed Theresa, Jodie, Elena, Alice, Sophie, Clarisse, Annabelle, and Holly. But most importantly, I failed my wife. I failed the only person that mattered, the best angel in God’s heaven._

_I wasn’t good enough. I could not do it. I couldn’t bring any of them back to life._

_I’m sorry._

_Now, I’m here, back where it all began. If you’re reading this, I’m reunited with my wife. I took the same course she did. The circle is fulfilled; alpha and omega. Now everything will be okay._

_K.N._

 

Barry gulped loudly as soon as he had finished reading.

“Wow, this is one hell of a messed up guy,” Joe muttered.

“So he killed those women because he couldn’t live without his wife, and he tried to bring her back to life by creating Frankenstein monsters that looked like her?” He shook his head. “I think I have to throw up.”

“I can’t believe what I just read.”

“Yeah, me neither.” Barry shook his head. “But why did he place this other woman here?”

“Maybe she was his favorite.”

“Okay, now this is seriously sick.”

They remained silent, still unbelieving of what they just found out.

“But it’s over now, right?” Barry said after a while. “We found C.C. Frankenstein.”

Joe laughed hollowly. “Yes, we did. Come on, Barry, let’s go to the CCPD and put this case to the files.”

Barry only nodded, following Joe’s lead out of the house. They walked towards the CCPD, as it was only a few blocks away. It’d take Barry only about three seconds if he’d run at his own speed, but he adapted to Joe’s pace, a normal, human walk.

They were still silent, their minds heavy with the sight of the crime scene and the murderer’s motive. Barry tried to focus on his surrounding, trying to get his mind to think of other things. Autumn had now taken the city in his tight grip. There wasn’t a single leaf green, the trees had changed their colors to yellow, brown and red. It was windy, like a normal day during fall, blowing around dead leaves and forcing the people on the streets to wear warm coats and pull their scarfs closer to protect themselves against the cold. Leonard must love this weather, Barry thought absently. The colder, the better. He’d probably make a lot of cold puns as soon as winter would arrive and snow would start to fall.

“So, Barry, where were you last night?” Joe pulled him out of his thoughts.

“What?” Barry said confused. “Oh, um, I was at a friend’s place. I didn’t actually plan to, you know, stay over for the night, but we watched a movie and I must’ve fallen asleep somehow.”

“At a friend’s, huh?” Joe eyed him suspiciously.

It wasn’t exactly a lie but Barry knew that his father didn’t believe him. The only friends he could have stayed over were his friends from S.T.A.R. Labs or Oliver or Felicity in Star City. But either way, Joe knew both of them, and he knew Barry could have just said their names if he had visited one of them. But he didn’t ask any further questions. He just nodded but threw Barry a last suspicious glance.

Once they were inside the building, they parted their ways, Joe walking towards his desk and Barry up his lap. There were a few forms that had to be filled in, and he had to write a report about the case. After that, he had time to go over and see Leonard again.

Barry shook his head. The whole situation was strange enough. The lines between enemy and friend had washed out, and their already twisted relationship had become even more twisted than before. However still, Barry couldn’t help but feel a thrilling anticipation in his chest when he thought about the next few hours he’d spent in the criminal’s apartment, together with him, even though they were just plotting on how to take down another criminal.


	11. The Enemy Strikes Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things That Could Cause Trouble: Part Three.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The game is on.

 

_“But mama I’m in love with a criminal, and the step of love isn’t rational.” – Britney Spears_

_  
_

Tuesday, 3.30 pm, S.T.A.R. Labs

Still tired, Barry arrived at S.T.A.R. Labs. He hadn’t really gotten enough sleep the whole week, and now he slowly started to feel this fatigue. The previous evenings since Halloween, he had spent his time with Leonard, planning their next step to take down Nero. Joe, Iris, and Wally had become more and more suspicious of his whereabouts, especially after he had arrived home way past midnight once, and just had sneaked into his room, trying not to make any noise so nobody would notice. But he had nearly gotten a heart attack when he had put on the lights only to see a very concerned but also pissed Iris sitting on his bed. He hadn’t told her where he had been, but Iris was smart, and by the way Barry’s face had reddened, she’d guessed that he, Barry, had a secret lover he couldn’t tell them about. At this point, Barry had only nodded, hoped that this would stop her questioning. But of course, it only made it worse, since now Iris was starting to try and get information out of him. She even had started asking Cisco and Caitlin about it but luckily none of them had said a word. Although, Barry was sure that they suspected something, too, ever since he came to the Lab after he got attacked by Nero during Leonard’s and his first attempt to get the cold gun back.

Now Barry was running on the treadmill, supervised by Caitlin while she was doing some experiments on her own in her lab. Cisco was downstairs, working on the weapon against Heatwave or on his own gauntlets for his super-suit. Barry smiled. Together, the Flash and Vibe, they’d make such a great team, taking down criminals in Central City.

He had lost track of the time while he was running, thinking about his past week. It was true, he spent a lot of time with Leonard. It was nothing special, though, but he couldn’t help but noticing how this time had been nice as he looked back on it now. Usually, when Barry came from work or from S.T.A.R. Labs, he went directly over to the other man’s apartment without making a stop for dinner at home before. So naturally, he felt like he was starving. Leonard and he had taken turns in paying for the dinner they ordered; sometimes they had Chinese food, sometimes pizza again, once Mexican, and one evening Leonard had even cooked dinner himself for them (which had been delicious and made Barry wish for more home-cooked meals made by his nemesis/partner/friend). At first, they had eaten in silence, but then, they had started to pick up conversation, at first only about very profane things like the weather, but then they’d started telling each other about their day (including Leonard teasing Barry how he couldn’t exactly tell him the truth, since they were arch-enemies and that it’d be boring if he knew everything about the Rogue’s next heist). But these evenings had been enjoyable, and Barry started to like them, a lot. And even when they’re planning, they weren’t strictly working. They had started to keep their conversations up and kept teasing each other (with Leonard making a cold pun as often as possible). It turned out that Barry really liked the Mikado sticks, so Len had them over every time as a snack when they did their planning. Barry noticed that he was looking forward to tonight, too, with a fluttery feeling in his stomach.

He shook his head. Of course, he knew what that feeling meant, but he tried to ignore it briskly. After all, he was in love with Iris, wasn’t he? She had been his dream girl for as long as he could think. Even when he had dated all these girls in the past, he had always come back to her.

But as he thought about her now, he felt how those feelings had shifted. He still loved her, he knew that. But that feeling now was different. He loved her but was not _in love_ with her. She’d always be a part of his life, a part of him, but right now not in a romantical way. When he thought of her now, all he saw was what they had, the time they spent together growing up and living together as brother and sister for more than fifteen years. The bond they shared was one of two best friends who knew everything about each other and could always trust the other one, no matter what. They were family.

Now, what Barry was seeing weren’t all the chances he had let pass by to tell Iris about his feelings, nor the lost dates they could have had. It felt like he had accepted that it would never be like that, but he loved the way it was now. There was no feeling of regret, of lost possibilities, only the acceptance, and embracement of what was now.

But as soon as Barry thought of Leonard … he couldn’t even really fit it into words. They were partners, yes, at least for their little upcoming “heist”. But whatever he felt, it wasn’t a usual feeling for a _partner_. It was more, a lot more, and it scared Barry to death. He couldn’t have feelings for a guy; he was straight, after all. Or at least he thought he was. He never had feelings for a boy or man before, but then again, Iris had been his only crush ever since.

And now, if he really felt more than just sympathy for Leonard … He didn’t know what to do, what to feel, what to believe. And for _Leonard Snart_ of all guys!

Maybe it was just some sort of sexual attraction, he told himself. Leonard was indeed a really handsome man, and pretty attractive, too, with all his tattoos, the soft but still visible muscles, and his slightly darker skin. Especially considering he was already over forty years old. Yet then again, the silver streaks in his dark, short hair made him look special, if not even hotter than otherwise, Barry thought.

Stop, he told himself again. Thinking about Captain Cold like that didn’t make things better or easier. Attraction or actual feelings, there definitely was something. And Barry was terrified to admit that, to even consider the possibility that there was something.

But he couldn’t help it. He remembered too well the goosebumps he had gotten when Leonard had touched him, how he wanted to run his fingers over the other man’s inked skin (and over those parts that weren’t inked). And he knew too well how much he enjoyed their dinners, their teasing, and their evenings in general. He enjoyed Leonard’s presence way too much to convince himself that there was really nothing whatsoever.

Barry didn’t know exactly how long he’d been running, but at some point, Cisco entered the room and slowed down the pace of the treadmill.

“Are you trying to break your own best or why’re you training so hard?” he asked laughingly.

“Not really, why?” Barry asked, his mind still dwelling on his supposed nemesis.

“You’ve been in here for more than two and a half hours now.”

“Oh. Well, that’s, um, a lot,” Barry said sheepishly. He got off the treadmill and wiped the sweat away with a towel that lay on a chair nearby, trying to wipe away the thoughts of Leonard as well.

In exactly this moment, his stomach gave a loud growl. “Okay, yes, definitely long.”

Cisco handed him one of the energy bars they had created especially for Barry, customized for his need. He took it gladly and began to eat. Together, they walked towards the cortex. They both sat down, Cisco in front of his computer, Barry next to him and tried hard to focus on the present.

“So, how has your weekend with Dante been going?”

Cisco snorted. “Don’t even ask.”

“Has it been so bad?”

“Well, not actually bad, but not that good, either. I mean, you know we decided to go the cinema and watch this new action movie together? Well, everything was fine until a group of three women spotted him and they started flirting. I was just third-wheeling, again. And this whole thing went on until the end of the freaking movie.”

“Oh. That sucks. I’m sorry, man,” Barry said sympathetically.

“It’s fine, I should’ve known it’d go that way.” He waved his hand dismissively. “Anyway, you’re weekend and evenings have been good?”

“Yeah, well, normal, you know.”

“Normal … except for the fact that you’re seeing someone you don’t want to tell us about.” A smug grin appeared on his face.

“I’m not – did Iris tell you that?”

“Yup. She asked us if we knew anything about where you spent your evenings and told us that you told her that you were seeing someone you can’t tell us about.” He spun around on his chair, playing with a pencil in his hand.

Barry groaned. “No, I’m not really seeing someone. I just said that to shut her up after I came home late one night.”

“So where else have you been? A strip club?”

“What? No!” Immediately, an image of Leonard’s naked torso flashed over the inside of his eyes. “I – I was at a friend’s, I’m helping him with something …”

Cisco grinned even deeper. “And who is this mystery guy?”

But before Barry had to answer again, Cisco’s computer gave an alerting tone.

“Oh shit,” the mechanic muttered and turned towards his computer. “Barry, we have a problem, Captain Cold is attacking First National Bank.”

“It can’t be Leonard robbing that bank,” Barry said absently as he quickly changed into his Flash-suit and raced out of the building and towards the bank.

“Did you just call Cold by his first name?” Cisco shouted after him. “He was totally calling him by his first name,” he muttered to himself suspiciously.

 

 

3.45 pm, First National Bank

When Barry arrived at the bank, the tree planted in the pavement in front of the building, two cars parking in front, and the entrance were already frozen solid, looking like ice sculptures. Barry just hoped that these things were the only frozen figures and not also any humans that happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time inside the bank.

“Guys, it looks like Elsa had a mental breakdown here,” he commented over his earpiece. “And I’m not even inside the building.”

“Just be careful, Barry,” echoed Caitlin’s voice over his earpiece.

Barry gave a hollow laugh. If the guy with the cold gun was who he thought he was, then he might actually be in trouble. Or get a chance to get Leonard’s cold gun back. Either way, he was running the risk of catching a blast of that damn thing again. He remembered the last time too well; those frostbites were nasty and hurt like hell.

He flashed into the building, only to nearly trip on the glassy floor. He looked around. Everything, the walls, the counters, even the plants that decorated the hallway, were frozen. “Okay, this is bad,” he muttered to himself.

“What do you see?” Cisco asked him.

“It definitely looks like _Frozen_ in here.”

“And do you see Snart?”

“No, but I think it’s not him anyway.”

Carefully, he paced forwards, trying to find Nero, or whoever it was that was running around with the cold gun. What if he had an accomplice, Barry suddenly thought alarmed, but scrapped that thought almost immediately again. If this guy was really Nero, he’d do it alone, not trusting anyone. Besides, he had his beef with Leonard, and accomplishing his goals probably didn’t need another person.

Barry turned around the corner to the high-security vaults. And then he saw him.

From the back, the guy looked tall, maybe a little taller than Barry. He was built like a swimmer, or dancer maybe. He had dark brown hair and wore an anthracite, expensive-looking suit with black, Italian shoes. Right now, he had risen the gun and was pointing it towards one of the vault’s doors, trying to freeze it open.

Barry took in a deep breath. “Hey,” shouted, trying to get the man’s attention. “How about you drop the gun and we talk about how you got it? Because I'm pretty sure it's not yours.”

“How about no?” His voice was deep, calm, and had a similar drawl as Leonard’s as if he wanted to copy it.

But Barry had managed to do what he had intended. The man – he still wasn’t sure if it really was Nero, he had never seen him, after all – had lowered the gun and stopped freezing the door.

“Who are you, anyway? As far as I remember, this is Captain Cold’s gun. And you’re definitely not him.”

The other man now finally turned around and faced Barry. “My name is Nero Fitzgerald. But consider me the new Captain Cold. The other one … well, he had his day.”

So this guy definitely was Nero. He was good looking, though, Barry had to give him that. He could see why Leonard had chosen him so many years ago. He had a kind of natural elegance, every one of his movements seemed to be part of dance, so soft and graceful as if this guy was secretly a ballet dancer.

“Nah, that nickname only belongs to him. You’re more like … the Impostor, if you ask me.”

Barry could hear Cisco laugh and hum Emperor Palpatine’s theme over his earpiece. “Not bad, Barry, although you still should leave the naming to me.”

Nero let out a fake laugh. “You’re funny, kid, I give you that. But trust me when I say that your precious Leonard Snart isn’t the king of his criminal empire anymore. He has to pay for his wrongs, and I will make him pay, beginning with taking up his place in the hierarchy.”

“So you basically just stole his gun and now you think you’re the new king in town,” Barry said matter-of-factly. He knew if he kept going like that, it’d make Nero furious, but he had to try. He needed to catch him off guard, and then maybe he could grab him and throw him into one of S.T.A.R. Labs metahuman prisons before he had to go to Iron Heights. And maybe he could get any specific information out of Nero that way.

“You look familiar, Flash,” Nero said without reacting to Barry’s insult. “Have we met before? And I don’t mean if I have met you as the Flash, but you as the guy under the mask.” He eyed Barry curiously, staring right at his face as if he was trying to memorize every one of his facial features.

Shit, shit, shit. Barry gulped and tried hard to sound as dismissive as he could when he answered. “No, I don’t think so. Usually, I don’t socialize with criminals.”

Nero just nodded slowly but didn’t break the eye contact. “Well, it’s been a pleasure to finally meet Central City’s hero, but I have places to be and people to destroy.”

Barry realized too late that his plan in distracting Nero had backfired. Before he had even time to react, Nero shot a blue blast of cold towards Barry before he even finished his sentence. He got fully hit, and this time the gun had definitely been set at its highest level. Barry literally froze on the spot in an instant, not being able to move or even to protect himself.

“Hold on a sec, Barry, I’ll fix this,” he heard Cisco’s voice over his ear piece. He instantly felt a hot burning coming from his suit, trying to defrost him. It worked, the ice was slowly melting.

But of course, Nero noticed.

“Nah, nah, you’re not trying to escape my little icy prison, are you?” He said in a mocking voice. An evil grin appeared on his handsome face, contorting his features. He shot another beam of cold towards him, but this time freezing him mercilessly as if he was trying to turn him into an ice cube. Cisco’s heating system was still working, but it didn’t do much good. After a few seconds, Barry had turned into an ice block with only his face still being outside. He could hear his friends gasp and curse over his earpiece.

Nero stopped and lowered the gun. Barry felt how the suit tried to defrost him slowly, but the bone-shaking cold still managed to find its way through Barry’s super-suit.

Nero strutted over in large, slow steps. But he still was faster than the suit’s heating system, and all Barry could do was hope that the criminal wouldn’t blast his head off as soon as he’d stand in front of him.

Instead, he did something much more terrible.

He drew his free hand towards Barry’s face and slowly pulled off the hood hiding the Flash’s identity.

“Well, well, well,” Nero said, with a recognizing look in his eyes. And then, suddenly he started laughing. “Captain Cold and the Flash are dating!” he shrieked, a slight tone of madness in his voice. But he caught himself quickly again and positioned in front of Barry, holding his body like he was a king. “You know, the original reason why I came here was to show the city Leonard Snart failing at a heist, my first step in getting my revenge. But instead, I got something so much better!” He let out a laugh again. “This is too good to be true.”

“We – we’re not dating,” Barry brought out through clattering teeth. His body felt so cold again, he couldn’t move his muscles, like the last time Nero had hit him with the gun.

“Oh? So he’s using you, too?”

Barry narrowed his eyes and tried to concentrate on getting his arms free of the ice. Maybe he still had a chance of overpowering Nero, if he’d only be fast enough and Nero wouldn’t notice how much of the ice had already molten.

But of course, he had, and he instantly shot another beam of cold at Barry, freezing him once again.

Barry could hear Caitlin shriek, and Barry knew why. His vitals must’ve reached another low with his body constantly being exposed to waves of cold. Not long, and Barry’d black out, and all of this would be too much to take for his body.

Suddenly, there was the sound of police sirens nearby. The speedster sent a prayer towards Heaven, wishing, but not daring to hope that they could do any good against Nero.

The Impostor tilted his head as if he was listening. “Looks like my time is up,” he muttered to himself. Then, he turned towards Barry again, freezing him one last time. “As lovely as this conversation is, I have to go. Tell Snart my greetings when you see him again … and be careful, Flash. People like us are just means to an end for him. He might make you feel like you’re special, but as soon as he gets what he wants, he’ll drop you like a hot potato.” He winked at Barry and backed away towards the fire escape on the backside of the building. “We’ll see each other soon again, I believe. And remember my words when he’ll betray you like he betrayed me. Because you mean nothing to him.” And with that, he left the room.

Five seconds after, Barry was free and fell on his knees. His body was weak, and his muscles felt as sore as the last time.

He could hear footsteps of police officers entering the building. Quickly, he pulled his mask over his head and got up. Gathering up the last bit of strength he had, he raced towards S.T.A.R. labs, only to collapse there on the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... sorta


	12. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonard and Barry have to deal with Nero's actions, and go a step further neither of them will be able to recover from.

 

_“Some of them want to use you, some of them want to get used by you.” – Eurythmics_

 

4.30 pm, S.T.A.R. Labs

Barry slowly woke up, his head still dizzy. He felt like he had been running for hours and then jumped into ice-cold water. Which kind of, as he started to remember, had been the case.

He opened his still heavy eyelids. A tiredness washed over him, a physical exertion he could only explain with having suffered from injuries. Eventually, he managed to fully wake up and tried to adjust his eyes to the bright light in the room he currently was in. At first, his sight was a little blurred, but slowly, he started to recognize his surroundings. He lay on the bed in S.T.A.R. Labs’ med bay, carefully draped against several pillows and wrapped in a big blanket.

He looked around. Everything seemed normal. He spotted Caitlin in her lab, looking through a microscope from time to time and writing something down. Cisco was on his computer, relentlessly tapping with his hands flying over the keyboard.

Barry shifted a little in his bed and carefully pushed the blankets off his body. He immediately felt the rush of cold air as soon as he left the comfortable warmth of the bed. But before he could make his way towards the cortex, he was pulled back by a little tug on his arm. He looked back and saw the small needle stuck in his arm that connected him with an infusion bag standing next to the bed.

Of course. He had been hit by the cold gun several times, now suffering from hypothermia ( _again_ ) and had nearly been turned into a metahuman ice block.

“Barry, you’re awake!” he heard Cisco’s voice calling. Caitlin now looked up from her work, too. She got up from her chair and walked towards Barry and he could see even from afar how her brows were furrowed in concern.

“Careful,” she said and gently pushed Barry back on the bed. Carefully, she pulled the needle out of Barry’s arm. Then, she took out a small lamp from the pocket of her lab smock and flashed the light into Barry’s eyes.

“Reaction is normal. Your pulse … normal, too. Okay, you can get up,” she said gently with a small smile on her lips.

“How long … how long have I been unconscious?”

“Just half an hour,” Cisco answered from his workplace. “You zoomed in here, and then collapsed immediately on the floor. Caitlin and I had to carry you over there, and dude, you’re _heavy_!”

“Sorry,” Barry answered apologetically with a shy smile on his lips. “But I guess the cold gun definitely is effective against speedsters.”

“Yeah, what exactly happened there? I mean, we got that you got hit several times and that that Nero guy is an ass, but what was all this stuff about he said to you before he left and turned you into a living ice cube?”

“Well,” Barry said carefully, trying not to meet their eyes. Should he tell them the truth? The truth about what Nero had meant? And the truth about his deal with Leonard?

“Okay so you already know that the last time I was here with hypothermia, I got hit by the cold gun, too and that it hadn’t been Leonard, but this bastard Nero, right?”

His friends nodded in unison.

“Okay, so …” he paused, slightly anxious of what he should tell them. They’d judge him, of course, for doing something so stupid such as helping Captain Cold to steal something. And if they knew how close they had gotten, or at least how close Barry felt to him … No, he definitely couldn’t tell them about that part. But the rest was a different story. Maybe if he’d just tell them the general stuff, they might even be able to help. As long as they didn’t know too much, it wouldn’t be a problem, would it? Besides, Caitlin was now patching him up a second time after he got back from an encounter with Nero Fitzgerald. That guy was dangerous, maybe even a threat to the general public. They deserved to know.

Barry exhaled loudly. “This time, apparently, it was Nero again. He … he stole Leonard’s cold gun, which is why he has it now. So Leonard didn’t duplicate it or sold it or something, he has nothing to do with that. So a few weeks ago, he asked me to help him get it back, and I agreed because I figured that the gun was safer in his hands than in the one’s of some unknown criminal who is at daggers drawn with him.”

Caitlin gasped, but didn’t interrupt Barry’s story. He could see, however, how her eyes grew wide in disbelief and maybe slight shock. But he couldn’t blame her; after all Leonard had once kidnapped both his friends to get to him. It had been mere luck both of them had gotten out of it unharmed.

“The last time I got hit by a blast of the gun was when we tried to take Nero down the first time. But things … didn’t go so well.” He rubbed the back of his neck shyly. “Nero knocked me out and then blasted me with the gun, and apparently threatened Leonard with something, some big evil plan he has. He is angry at him and wants revenge for, um, something Leonard did to him in the past.”

At this point, he paused, not going on with his story any further. He didn’t want to overstep his bounds, after all, Leonard seemed to trust him (or at least trust him a little bit) with telling him about his past. Lisa Snart might be a bit more openly, but Barry knew that if it wasn’t for her, he wouldn’t know about their abusive father. Leonard would never have told something like this, something that made him so vulnerable. The speedster figured that the other man wouldn’t want him to tell Cisco and Caitlin about how he once had dated Nero Fitzgerald.

Cisco whistled through his teeth. “That’s … a lot.”

“Yes, I know, and I’m sorry I haven’t told you before, it’s just that I had to promise Leonard I wouldn’t tell anything, and I didn’t want to break that promise, and I’m so sorry.” His cheeks flushed red.

“It’s okay, Barry,” Caitlin answered sympathetically. “We’re not mad or anything, don’t worry.”

“Really?” he asked with an insecure tone in his voice.

“Really,” Cisco affirmed.

“Thank you,” Barry answered relieved. “I hate lying to you guys, it’s just … I kind of didn’t want to break that promise, but now I’ve kinda broken it, but there are lives at stake, so it’s okay I guess?”

Cisco grinned. “Nah, I got it.”

Barry threw him a puzzled look which the other man seemed to ignore on purpose but just kept grinning.

“Yes, okay, anyway. So today Nero basically tried to pull one over at Leonard,” Barry picked up the topic again. “He said something about this being the first step to his big plan.” He closed his eyes, suddenly realizing what else had happened. His stomach dropped. “When he had me there all iced, he pulled my mask off, seeing my face.”

Caitlin gasped in shock.

“I mean, he doesn’t know my name, but he recognized me from the last time. And, um, he assumes Leonard and I are dating, _which we are not_ , just to clarify that, but still, he figured my identity out.”

“Dating, heh?” A smug grin appeared in Cisco’s face.

“Really? That’s your whole issue with that? I mean, another bad guy knows about my identity and you think about me dating Captain Cold?”

“I’m sorry, dude,” Cisco said, now having a pitiful and also worrying look in his eyes, “this is bad. And I don’t mean the dating but there’s another villain who knows that you’re you.”

“I know.”

“Well, at least he doesn’t know your name. That’s a good thing for once, maybe he’ll never figure it out.” Caitlin forced a smile which was probably supposed to be reassuring.

“We can’t do anything about it anyway. Just catch him as fast as possible.”

Barry sighed deeply. This was just peachy as to express it Leonard’s words. This matter would complicate things a lot. They had to reconsider every step they took now, making sure Nero would never find out his name and all about his identity, hoping he would never spill any of it to the public or catch him and lock him up for good before he could do that. Caitlin was right, of course, for now, he was safe, but he still wasn’t reassured.

Caitlin cleared her throat quietly and spoke up. “So now we have to figure out how we take him down.”

“And we have to find a nickname for him.”

“What don’t you like about ‘Impostor’?”

“That it wasn’t me who came up with the name,” Cisco answered in an offended voice.

Barry and Caitlin laughed.

“I think it’s a good name,” she said.

“Fine!” Cisco threw his arms in the air in faked annoyance. “The Impostor, then.”

Suddenly, all three burst out laughing.

Barry felt a warmth grow in his chest. He should have known that he could rely on his friends. They were his friends after all; more than two years being together and facing evil made them grow together like a family, forming a strong bond that couldn’t be broken by a simple deal made with one of their enemies.

“So, how’re we gonna take him down?” Cisco asked, trying to get the conversation back to the topic.

“Um, actually, Leonard and I are already planning it.” His cheeks flushed again.

“With _Leonard_ , huh?” Cisco asked and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at Barry and Caitlin started to snicker quietly.

Barry rolled his eyes. “Please, not you two, too.”

But this didn’t help at all, as Cisco now started to giggle, too.

“Sure. There’s nothing romantical or sexual going on between you two. I mean, that’s also why you spent, like, every single evening with him for the past week.”

“No seriously, we’re just planning! He’s just … very thorough when it comes to a heist.”

“That’s also why you call him by his first name,” Caitlin pointed out.

“Ha! You didn’t even deny that you spend all your evenings with him lately! So he’s the mystery guy!”

Barry glared at them disbelieving. How could they think that? And more important, how could they be okay with that? Leonard did threaten their lives after all, and that definitely could not have left a good impression.

“Whatever,” he answered grumpily. “I have to get going, I need to tell him what has happened at the bank.” Carefully, he got up from the bed and grabbed his clothes that lay folded on the footboard.

“You do that, Barry,” Cisco smirked.

Barry just rolled his eyes again and changed out of his Flash-suit into his normal clothes in high speed while Caitlin walked towards her lab again and Cisco placed himself in front of his computer.

“Could you – could you just do me a favor? Don’t tell Iris or Joe or Wally anything about this.”

“Joe’ll want to know what happened at the bank,” Caitlin warned him.

Barry sighed. “I know, and I’ll tell him, but only as much as he needs to know.”

Now Caitlin sighed, too. “Be careful, Barry, okay?”

“You know I always am.” He smiled and waved them goodbye. “See you tomorrow!”

“Use protection!” Cisco called after him as Barry sped out of S.T.A.R. Labs.

The speedster growled. Of course they’d notice that there was something, he said to himself angrily. He could just hope now that maybe Joe would stay unsuspicious.

 

 

5.12 pm, Leonard’s apartment

Leonard was pacing the floor nervously. He knew the kid would stop by after what had happened at the bank. It was all over the news; Captain Cold attacking a bank, turning everything to ice. Nothing had been stolen, it looked like the Flash had prevented that. But this time, there hadn’t been any footage of their fight, no trademark banter had been recorded. The only things they had gotten were pictures of the frozen bank and the Flash zooming in and out the bank within fifteen minutes. No image of Captain Cold this time, no epic fight between him and the Flash.

There couldn’t be any footage of a fight, of course, since all Leonard had been doing today was visiting his sister and doing groceries. (Yes, even a supervillain needed to buy some food and general stuff from time to time.) It hadn’t been him attacking this bank, but the media didn’t know that, of course. As soon as they saw that there was a bank being robbed and everything was turned to ice, they naturally assumed that Leonard Snart was behind this.

They seemed oblivious that this wasn’t Leonard’s style at all. It was too sloppy, way too sloppy for his liking. There had been a plan, but it was carelessly put into action. Leonard usually never left casualties like this, never made that much of a show nor used his cold gun to freeze _trees_. No, his focus lay on the game itself, on a clean heist with absolutely nothing going wrong, a fight with the Flash, and a clean and quick escape. He was known for his precision, for perfect planning and timing. But this – it was just cruel, nothing like his style, but still, the media didn’t seem to care. In their eyes, Leonard Snart had tried to show off with his gun but then failed at the actual heist.

The more Leonard thought about it, the more it made him furious. He needed Barry right now, he needed to talk to him, he needed to tell him –

A knock on his door interrupted his thoughts. He stopped dead in his pacing and glared at the door. “It’s open,” he said, his voice slightly hoarse.

The door was opened carefully and Barry’s slim figure appeared. Before the speedster faced Leonard, he closed the door, put off his dark coat, and then turned towards him, trying to avoid any eye contact.

“Well, hello Barry, I’ve been expecting you,” Leonard addressed him with a smirk on his lips, trying to pretend that everything was normal.

“You heard about the attack on the bank?” Barry asked, fidgeting with the hem of his magenta sweater, the same sweater he had worn when Leonard had first asked him at Jitters about helping him.

And damn, red really suited him.

“Yes,” Leonard answered simply. “Hard to miss when it’s all over the news.”

Finally, Barry raised his head and looked at Leonard. The younger man’s hazel eyes were clouded with worry but also concern and guilt.

“I’m sorry,” he said finally with a heavy sign. “It was Nero; Nero had been at the bank and robbing it, and I failed – I didn’t manage to catch him, I tried to outsmart him and get him to be incautious, I thought I could just grab him then and lock him in the pipeline or take him to Iron Heights. Everything would have been over, you’d have your gun back, and he’d be locked up, but I failed, and he iced me several times, and then he – he walked towards me and pulled off my mask, and – he recognized me, he knows that I was the guy with you when we tried to get your gun back, he knows–”

“Okay, Barry, stop, cool down.” Leonard slowly stepped towards the speedster. Carefully, trying not to overstep any bounds, he placed his hand on Barry’s right shoulder, soothing him. The kid was almost vibrating with nervousness. “It’s not your fault.”

“But I failed to catch him, I failed–”

“Scarlet, if you don’t stop blaming yourself right now, I swear I’ll make you shut up. Because it’s _not your fault_. Don’t take the blame for something that you had no influence in.”

“Sorry.”

Leonard sighed. He pulled back his hand that was still resting on Barry’s shoulder. “Come on, sit down on the couch, I’ll make you a tea.”

Barry nodded and placed himself on the couch, tugging his left leg under his right and leaning back. He still looked nervous and there was still guilt mirrored in his soft, hazel eyes.

Leonard shook his head and walked towards the kitchen. After a few minutes, he walked back to the couch, handing Barry a large cup of hot, steaming tea and a pack of Mikado sticks.

“Thanks,” Barry said and smiled thinly.

Before he spoke again, he sat down next to Barry, leaning against the backrest of the couch, looking at Barry. “How about you start at the beginning and tell me what happened at that bank, eh?”

And Barry did. He told Len how he had been at S.T.A.R. Labs when he had heard the alert, how he had rushed to the bank and found it turned into an icey palace, how he went inside and found Nero in front of the high-security vaults.

“I thought, if I could get him to talk to me, tell me about his plan and how he would outsmart me, I could distract him enough from the heist. But clearly, I’ve been wrong, because then he fired the gun at me, over and over again. You see, Cisco made some adjustments to the suit after Ferris Air, he can make it heat up from the labs so the ice could melt.”

Leonard gave a small smile. “So that explains how you got away so quick when you surprised me and my dear father. Thought you might have something like that, to be honest, since our paths cross sometimes.”

“It does come in handy.” But the satisfied smile on his face disappeared quickly again as he continued to talk. “Anyway, Nero saw that the suit was melting the ice, and he iced me all over again, every time when he thought I could escape him. I was powerless, I couldn’t move a single muscle, and then – then, he pulled my mask off.” His voice had gone quieter towards the end. Suddenly, there was a static silence in the room.

“And he recognized you.”

“Yes. And he says his greetings and … and that he will continue taking you down. He sounded pretty confident.”

Leonard narrowed his eyes. Something told him that Barry didn’t tell him everything Nero had said. There was something left, something unspoken.

“Well,” Len continued, “he can be as confident as he wants, but it won’t help him. I mean, you said it yourself, we can take him down. We have a plan, not a perfect one yet, but we’re working on it. We can do it. When it comes to stealing something, I’m definitely the best person to talk to, right?”

“Yeah, right,” Barry rolled his eyes.

But Len had archived what he wanted: the lost, sad-puppy-look in Barry’s eyes had disappeared, and his lips formed a small smile.

“So, fancy continuing to plan? Now is the perfect time for that, after our common enemy kicked us in our asses.”

“Yeah, Leonard, why not.” Barry paused and threw him a weird smile. “But, um, _Leonard_ , can I call you by a nickname? When I say Leonard I’m reminded of Leonard Hofstadter from ‘The Big Bang Theory’ and you two are definitely not alike.”

Len smirked. “How about ‘Cold’ then, huh?”

The speedster rolled his eyes again. “Apart from that, I mean.”

“Then you decide.”

Now it was Barry’s turn to smirk. “How about Lenny?”

“Dare to call me that and I’ll ice you, too.”

Barry laughed, and in that moment, Leonard realized how much he loved it when Barry laughed. His whole body seemed to shake, and he radiated so much happiness it was hard for Len not to let his mask of coolness slip and smile. Barry’s eyes started to gleam, shining so beautifully, looking at him with so much joy in them. Leonard loved it.

“Alright, not Lenny then,” he said, smiling up at the criminal as if negotiating about a nickname with one’s nemesis is the most normal thing in the world.

“How about … Leo? No, scratch that, that doesn’t suit you, too childish.” He tilted his head a little, fixing Leonard with those beautiful eyes. “Len … yes, that fits.”

Leonard just smiled approvingly.

“Okay, Len then. Leonard seems too stuck up, Len fits. Although Mick calls you that, too, but still.”

Leonard’s chest filled with warmth, spreading, reaching every single part of his body. His heartbeat picked up pace, if only a little. Damn, he thought. Falling for this speedster wasn’t the best of ideas. But he couldn’t help it. When Barry looked at him this way, with his eyes all wide and shining with happiness, so full of life and trust, he seemed to sink in them, loose himself.

He cleared his throat, trying to get his mind to something else. “Okay then, planning?”

“Planning,” Barry agreed and gave Len another warm smile. Both men stood up, and Len pushed the bookshelf next to the couch away. Behind that, on the wall, was a large, white safe. Carefully, Len opened it and pulled out the large folder with note and blueprints and everything else they needed for this job. Together with Barry, they spread out all the information they gathered so far on the table and continued to plan.

 

***

 

After two hours of planning once again, Barry leaned back, exhausted. He exhaled loudly and closed his eyes, putting an arm over his face.

Len eyed him curiously. “Tired, Scarlet?”

“Just a teensy bit.”

Len smiled. “I think we’ve done enough today.” Carefully, he rolled the plans together, put their notes back into the folder and carefully went over to the safe, putting their work back. It was right, they had come quite far today. After the events of today, they had to come up with a new plan, now considering that Nero knew about Barry’s secret identity. The old plan was based on him _not_ knowing, so now it was practically useless. Nonetheless, Len had felt more motivated than before, eager to do something against Nero, the bastard.

“You hungry, Barry?” he asked the other as he walked back to the table, grabbing two Mikado sticks out of the box.

“I’m always hungry.”

“I was thinking,” Len started, knowing that this may be a bad idea, a very bad idea, but he couldn’t help it. “Since we have so many dinner dates here in my apartment, why don’t we go out for once? Getting our mind off of Nero and at least enjoying this evening.”

Barry now opened his eyes and turned towards him. “Dinner dates?”

“You and me alternately paying for the dinner we order here, kinda sounds like dinner date to me.” Why was his heart pounding so hard? He tried to put on a smirk, trying to look confident. As confident as he should be.

“Hm, yeah, okay, going out sounds good to me.” His eyes widened and he started to babble again. “I mean, going out for dinner, not going out, as in actually going out, just going, you know, outside …”

Len started to laugh. “Chill, Scarlet, I got it.” Barry was just way too adorable when he was blushing like this. “Well, then grab your coat. We’re going out.”

Barry smiled a warm smile that made all of Len’s insides melt. He grabbed a black coat for himself (not the parka, that would be too obvious) and opened the door for Barry indicating for him to go out first. He made a small movement with his head as if he was bowing instead of a thank you, but it made Len laugh nonetheless.

“So, where do you intend to go?”

“There’s a nice Italian restaurant two streets over, they make amazing pasta, even better than Lisa does.”

Barry threw him a confused look.

“She’s really into making pasta herself ever since her solo trip to Venice to steal some pieces of jewelry.”

“She travels to … okay, never mind. I’ve come to terms with not always getting the hang of you or your Rogues,” Barry said and shook his head playfully.

As soon as they stepped outside, cold wind was blowing against their faces, the air faintly smelling of snow and winter. Len inhaled deeply while he caught Barry wrapping his coat closer to his body, trying to get more warmth out of it, causing Len to chuckle once again which earned him a glare from Barry.

“Mick’s really good at baking, though,” he continued. “His red velvet cupcakes are the best in the world.”

“Mick _bakes_?”

“Why, yes, Barry, everybody has a hobby.”

Slowly, they were stepping closer to each other, their shoulders and arms now constantly brushing. Len didn’t mind, no, definitely not. He could feel Barry’s body heat through their jackets, warming him up, too. Something inside of him seemed to stir again, his stomach flipping over.

“I never thought … I mean, doesn’t Mick burn the things? I’ve always pictured him as someone who liked fire even when it turned their food to something inedible.”

“Oh, hell no, he’s an amazing baker.”

Barry laughed. “And what is it that you do for your hobby?”

“I’m pretty good at robbing people I’d say.” He kept his eyes locked onto the street but he could almost see how Barry rolled his eyes.

“I meant apart from that. I know you’re good at laying on my nerves.”

They had arrived at the restaurant, a small, family-run business called “La Tropea”. Len grabbed the door handle and opened it, holding open for Barry to enter first. “You’ll find out yourself,” he said, smirking a little but mixed with a small smile.

A waitress in a white blouse and a tight, black skirt came forwards, looking at them. “For two?” she asked and eyed them curiously.

Len nodded and she turned around to lead them to an empty table, in the back of the restaurant in a quiet corner. She lit the candle that was standing on the table and handed them the menu charts with a warm smile as they sat down opposite to each other.

“Definitely looks cozy in here,” Barry commented and looked around.

“The food’s even better.”

“Well, the important question is,” he paused dramatically and leaned forward, “will it be enough for me?”

Len let out a short laugh. “If it’s not, I can make you something at home.”

Barry looked at him, an indecipherable expression on his face. His hazel eyes looked so warm, had such a soft expression. He looked at Len like he wasn’t some no-good, some criminal, but as if he mattered to him.

“That’s something you’re good at, I guess, cooking. Your breakfast on Halloween was amazing.”

“Why, thank you, Barry,” he said, somewhat flattered.

“It’s strange, isn’t it? I mean, you and me, Captain Cold and the Flash, going out for dinner together. And having breakfast together.”

“Maybe it’s strange but still, I enjoy every single minute.” That was true, although Len wasn’t so sure if that had been the right thing to say. He didn’t know if Barry felt the same way, if he liked their odd evenings as much as Len did.

But he was condemning every doubt Len had with his next words.

“Yeah, me too, Len. Although this makes it kinda strange again, but still, yeah. I enjoy them, too.”

Barry smiled up at him, his cheeks a slight tint of red, before he finally opened his menu chart. Len, however, kept looking at him and thought that maybe, just maybe, falling for Barry Allen wasn’t so bad after all.


	13. Lost In You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both of their feelings for each other grow stronger, and Len might actually do something about it.

 

_“Right from the start you were a thief, you stole my heart, and I your willing victim.” – Pink_

 

Wednesday, 5.48 pm, Leonard’s apartment

Barry raced from his lab towards the now all too familiar apartment of Captain Cold. After Nero’s attack, they had been even more motivated than before and spent every minute planning on their next step. Barry even visited S.T.A.R. Labs less often as a result of trying to invest his time in Leonard’s absolute thorough planning. So far, they had a rough structure of what they wanted to do and how to archive that. It mainly included a feigned heist to get Nero’s attraction, and the rest – well, they still had to work on that. After the bank robbery, Len had become very cautious concerning Nero. The man was smart, and they simply had no clue if he’d fall for their trap or just see right through it. But assuming he’d show up, they hadn’t settled on a good way to take him down yet. They wanted to minimize the causalities, of course, but after what Nero had done to the bank, they thought that this might turn out as a problem.

But now was not the time to worry. Barry was starving, he could hear his stomach growl louder with every minute that passed by. Before he made his way over at Len’s he stopped by a Thai restaurant and picked up seven different dishes. Thai was one of his favorites and as far as he remembered, he hadn’t brought it over as dinner so far.

As soon as he had paid for their food, he flashed out and seconds later, he stood in front of Len’s apartment door.

It was still a little weird to call his nemesis “Len”, since he knew that most of former partners and Rogues called him that, too. It made Barry feel as if he was actually a part of Len’s life, as if the older man let him in so far that he had earned his right to use this nickname.

Barry liked the nickname, however. It sounded somehow soft, not as cruel as “Cold” and every time Barry thought about Captain Cold in that way, in the way he had gotten to know him over all their planning, how he had gotten to know Len, he felt his chest warm and had to smile.

Barry reached forward and knocked shortly. Not even three seconds later, the door was opened and Len stood in the doorframe.

Barry had to suppress a gasp. But he couldn’t help for his eyes to grew wide as he saw the other man standing in front of him like that. Leonard wore normal black pants and a tight, black tee that accentuated his built, the muscles and the tattoos on his arms.

In all, Len looked pretty normal, like he looked every day, but it still had a breathtaking effect on the speedster.

Barry blushed and looked down. Stay cool, he told himself, and nearly laughed at this terrible pun.

“I brought dinner,” he finally said, holding the seven takeaway boxes in the air.

A smile appeared on Len’s face, maybe even mixed with a smirk, but Barry had grown so used to those smirks, he didn’t really react to them anymore. But he couldn’t help but notice how Len’s eyes shone brightly.

“Thank god,” he exclaimed as he let Barry enter his apartment and closed the door behind him, “I was starving.”

“Yeah, me too, I haven’t eaten anything since … well, since lunch.” His stomach growled loudly again.

“Obviously.” His smirk was back.

He went to the kitchen and set the table while Barry prepared the food on different plates. It was their normal dinner routine, Len setting the table and Barry arranging the food. Then they would eat together, and then plan, and after hours and several bad puns later, Barry would zip home, more than tired but strangely happy at the same time.

Barry shook his head. Having an evening routine, an actual routine with Leonard Snart was still strange. He couldn’t quite yet wrap his head around it, what that meant, especially what it meant for them, for the relationship between them. But whatever it was, Barry liked it. He had grown accustomed to it, even when this twisted thing between them had only lasted for a few weeks so far.

They sat down next to each other and began to eat their dinner. It didn’t even take five seconds until Len began a conversation.

“I’ve gone to visit Lisa again today,” he said carefully.

That was nothing new, Len visited his sister almost daily, even if it was just for a few minutes.

“And?”

“The doctors say she’s on the road to recovery. Even the dark, black patches on her arm and décolleté could be fixed with plastic surgeries. She might even wake up within the next weeks.”

“But that’s good news!”

“Yes, it is.” Len smiled but his voice still strangely low.

“So what’s the problem?”

“Nothing, everything’s peachy.”

“Dude, seriously, every time you say that, I know there’s something off.”

Len sighed dramatically before he finally put down his chopsticks and responded.

“I am responsible for that. For what happened to Lisa, it’s my fault. And you know me well enough by now, Barry, that you know my sister means everything to me. And that I’ll never forgive myself that. I’m not the good person you believe I am.” His voice had grown quieter towards the end until it wasn’t more than a whisper. His gaze was fixed upon his food while he carefully picked up his chopsticks again and continued to eat. He didn’t meet Barry’s eyes and concentrated hard on his fried noodles.

 _Oh_.

“Len,” Barry said. He was definitely surprised that Len shared this with him, he honestly didn’t expect it. Len wasn’t really one to talk about his feelings, and now telling Barry he was blaming himself for Lisa’s fate, telling about the guilt he was feeling … This feeling of guilt must be immense, or he wouldn’t have done it. It was so important to him that he couldn’t keep it in anymore.

A small part of his brain started to cheer at the fact that Len opened up to him, actually letting him in, but the bigger, rational part helped him to find a good answer to comfort Len.

“I know I’m annoying you as hell by saying this, but I believe with the depth of my heart that you’re a good person. I mean, you care so much for your sister. And your mistakes do not define you, so stop sulking. We can plan now, and you can get your revenge, and everything will be alright, and you can fix everything.”

“I’m no hero like you, Barry.”

“You don’t have to be.”

Len snorted.

“Hey, trust me when I say she won’t be pissed. But Lisa will be pissed if she could see you now.”

Len rolled his eyes. “Yeah, you’re right.” He let out a small laugh. “She’d say I should quit whining like a baby and act like a real man.”

“That’s not what I meant, and besides, you are a real man, but yeah.”

Len raised an eyebrow and his lips formed an amused smirk.

Heat rose up Barry’s cheeks as he realized how what he just said must have sounded like.

“I mean, you’re not a baby, and, like, you're definitely old enough to be a real man, and your pretty manly, and I’ll shut up now.” His cheeks turned deep red.

“Don’t sweat it, Scarlet, I know exactly what you meant.” He smirked in a way that made Barry tingly and only caused him to blush more. He lowered his gaze and concentrated hard on eating his Chop Suey but noticed happily that the lost expression that had lingered on Len’s face was gone.

 

Several awkward minutes later which Len seemed to enjoy very much, they had finished their dinner. Together, as usual, they cleared the table. Barry had done this enough times so far, he knew where everything was in Len’s kitchen. He placed the dirty plates in the dishwasher, while Len laid out their plans, maps, and notes on the table. Before they sat down again, Len took several bottles of beer out of the fridge and placed them together with the Mikado sticks on the table.

“Okay, so just to see where we were at, what exactly is our plan so far?” he asked him as if Barry was a little school boy.

He rolled his eyes but answered anyway. “On January the 24th, we visit the museum and the exhibition. We do this on this date because that’s the second last day of the ‘Gems of the World’ and it fits your pattern of heists. Somehow, we still have to make sure Nero’ll get the memo, but we still have to work on that part. Then, when we’re there, as two normal civilians, we wait for Nero. When he shows up, you confront him openly again and let him ‘take you down’. Meanwhile, I flash away and come back as the Flash, and while you keep him distracted, I’ll handcuff him. Then we can take him to Iron Heights, and I’ll tell the police that you helped me to make sure they don’t throw you in, too.”

“Exactly. Then, what do we do if he ices me?”

“You seriously think he would do that?”

“Why not?”

“Well, from how I would judge him, he wants to humiliate you and he’s smart enough to know I won’t fall for the icing a second time. So I guess he’ll just humiliate you verbally, make you look like a complete idiot. And then, as a dramatic finish, he’ll ice you to show how Captain Cold falls because of his own hubris, giving you your own medicine.”

Len gaped at him. “I should invite you for criminal activities more often, you’re seriously getting the hang of it. Very professional.”

“I’m not going rogue, no matter what you tell me. At least one of us has to remain to be the hero, here.” He grinned up at Len.

“Well, if you ever change your mind, you know where to find me.” He smirked again.

They stared at each other for a few seconds before Barry broke the silence again. “Well, anyway, what do we do when he ices everything and everyone before we can do anything? Or if the CCPD shows up and interferes? Have we made a final plan for that yet?”

“You take away the CCPD, we have to handle this alone.”

Barry sighed. “I just have a very bad feeling about this, you know.”

“Yeah, tell me about it.”

They fell silent. Len took out a pen and marked several spots on the blueprints, all indicating different exits. He had already circled in all the spots where the security cameras were and which angles they didn’t cover and had Barry to memorize every single spot. So far, Barry knew nearly the entire map by heart, which room led to where, which rooms they had to avoid because Len had already stolen something from there, or which rooms were completely irrelevant for their plan to get the cold gun back.

Barry couldn’t help but admire the thief’s thoroughness. No wonder why he succeeded so often in tricking the Flash.

In exactly this moment, his phone suddenly rang. Len looked up at Barry, a silent question in his eyes. But he was as clueless.

The caller ID read Cisco. Damn.

“Cisco?” Barry answered, trying to ignore Len’s smirk.

“Barry, there’s an emergency, metahuman is robbing the jewelry store corner 6th Avenue!”

“Who robs something that late in the evening?”

“Barry!” Cisco said impatiently.

“I’ll be there,” Barry answered quickly, his expression stern. He hung up immediately, throwing Len an apologetic look. “So much for being a hero,” he said, “there’s a meta at a jewelry store stealing stuff.”

“Who dares to rob something without my approval?”

“Guess we’ll find out any minute. I’m sorry, I have to get there–”

“Then go and be a hero, Scarlet,” Len smiled as a goodbye.

Barry grinned one last time before he flashed away.

 

 

20.45 pm, Jewelry Store 6th Avenue

Barry arrived just there to see a small, thin figure, all dressed in black, rushing out of the store. By the look of the person, they were dressed like a ninja from some action movie, a mask concealing everything but set of black eyes. And it was definitely a woman.

He exhaled loudly. Just a normal robber, Barry told himself, just grab her and bring her to Iron Heights. He darted forward, but as he wanted to grab her around the waist and whisk her away from the crime scene, she suddenly disappeared into thin air.

“What the–” he started before he crashed loudly into the shop window.

“Too slow, Flash,” said a voice next to him with a slight Asian accent.

Barry looked up and saw the woman standing next to him, looking down on him with glee in her eyes. She was at least one feet shorter than him if not even two.

Quickly, he got up, but again, she suddenly disappeared. Although disappeared was the wrong word: she seemed to flicker, and then dissolve, becoming one with air around her.

Suddenly, Barry felt a blow against his chest, hard, as if someone had just kicked him. He fell backwards, trying to cushion his fall with his hands. Only that the ground was covered in glass splinters, cutting through his gloves and tearing his skin open.

His head felt dizzy from this second not so soft fall. He moved his head, trying to get what hit him. The woman was standing over him again, a foot on his throat.

“You’ll let me leave, and I won’t hurt you,” she said.

“Let me think about it … No.”

“Then I’m very sorry.”

Barry jumped up again, but before he could make another move, he felt someone grab his left arm, twist around in an unnatural way, and a heavy blow against his shoulder. He let out a wince. It hurt like hell, and his shoulder was definitely dislocated now. Before he could recover, he was been kicked in the chest again, just underneath the last rib where it hurt the most. The air was pressed out of his lungs.

He spun around, jumping backwards in a weak attempt to get some distance between him and his attacker. Only that he couldn’t see anyone. There was no one, not even a single person in front of him.

And suddenly, the woman appeared again. Her fists flew forwards, hitting Barry’s chin, then his solar plexus, pressing out the little air that he had left. But it wasn’t over yet. Barry felt another punch somewhere near his ribs and another against his already injured shoulder. He couldn’t do anything, no matter where he intended to move, the woman’s fists and feet were there, hitting and kicking him hard and so precise as if she had calculated every single movement. Barry was powerless. The woman seemed to disappear and reappear again, turning from invisible back to visible, and she moved at such a speed Barry had never seen a normal human being do.

His whole body ached from all the violence. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t get away.

And then, when he thought his body couldn’t do this any longer, the woman let out a high-pitched, long cry, spun around in a graceful pirouette, only to kick him hard in the face, causing him to fly backwards, rolling several meters on the floor.

“See you soon, Flash,” the woman said, although Barry could hardly make out her words. His vision had blurred and he heard an awful ringing in his ears. By the time he looked up, she had disappeared into thin air again.

“Barry? Barry, say something!” Caitlin’s scared voice echoed over his earpiece.

“Uhh,” Barry winced, rolling over on the floor. Carefully, he tried to get up, moving his body at normal human speed. In the distance, he could hear police sirens.

Great. This fight hadn’t even taken so much as two minutes, and here he was, his whole body hurting, injured, being kicked by a little girl.

Barry gritted his teeth. This was embarrassing enough without the fact that he had failed at stopping her from stealing something. Gathering his strength and trying not to move his left shoulder or to take too deep breaths, he ran away from the crime scene and towards S.T.A.R. Labs.

 

 

21 pm, S.T.A.R. Labs

He collapsed on the hospital bed in the med bay.

Instantly, he heard the rushing footsteps of Caitlin and Cisco running towards him.

“Barry!” Caitlin exclaimed, her voice dripping with concern. “Are you okay?”

“Do I look like I’m okay?”

“Dude, what did you to the suit?”

Barry looked down at himself. And in fact, the suit was torn in several places, especially there where the glass flinders had cut through.

“This meta – she was a woman, Asian, around twenty I’d say – she did some high-level kung fu to knock me out, like a ninja. I don’t know, she was so fast, way too fast for a human being. And she seemed to turn invisible but then she was corporeal again, it was weird. I had no chance basically.” His cheeks reddened in shame.

“Let me just check you through, okay?” Caitlin asked softly.

Barry only nodded in response as he put off his gloves and removed the shirt of his suit.

“I’ll go and check if there is any security footage from the crime scene,” Cisco said and disappeared.

Carefully, Caitlin palpated Barry’s torso. When she put pressure on the right side of his ribcage, he inhaled sharply, trying to ignore the searing pain.

“Two broken ribs, I’d say.”

“Well, she did kick me there several times.”

Caitlin continued, now moving to his left shoulder. She had only to do as much as touch it and Barry hissed.

“Dislocated,” she stated.

“Thought that much.”

“Okay, Barry, I have to reset it, and it’s going to hurt, a lot. Then I have to do some x-rays and check if your ribs and growing back together normally, but if they’re not …”

Barry sighed. “We have to break them again.”

Caitlin nodded.

“Okay, fine, get started, I try not to concentrate too much on the pain that’ll await me.” He smiled thinly.

Caitlin gave him a friendly smile before she reset his shoulder with a fierce, strong pull.

Barry yelled loudly, pain rising through his body, mixing with the adrenaline in his blood.

“That was it, I’m done,” she reassured him in a soft, hushing tone. “You still should try not to move it too much, though.”

“I’ll try,” he answered through gritted teeth.

Caitlin nodded and continued to run the tests. Luckily, the x-ray revealed that, in fact, two ribs were broken, but there were healing properly and didn’t have to be broken again. Then, Caitlin moved onto Barry’s hand and picked out all the small glass splinters, using a lot of disinfectants that burned like hell but eventually would prevent an inflammation.

“Got something!” Cisco called after a while from the cortex.

Barry threw Caitlin a last, questioning look but she motioned him that she was done running test. Quickly, he changed back into his normal clothes before they both joined Cisco.

“Here,” he said and pointed towards the video on the screen. “It was taken by the security camera across the street. Watch this.” He pressed play.

Barry started to blush as soon as he watched the video. He had only arrived two minutes after the woman but in that time, she still had somehow managed to steal something from the store. And they started to fight. It looked horrible how she had kicked his ass and the Flash didn’t even defend himself.

“Dude, that’s not kung fu, that’s karate. I mean, this one,” Cisco winded the video back a few seconds, “this kick is called a ‘yoko geri’ and it’s typical for karate.”

Both his friends looked at him in awe.

“What? Someone’s got to learn the theory while you’re out there doing the practical stuff.”

Barry shrugged. “Okay, yeah, you see me getting my ass kicked, but did you see what that woman can do? I mean, she was so fast, I didn’t even see her coming, and this invisibility thing …”

“Well, it looks like she’s slowly turning invisible like she’s combining with the air,” Caitlin said thoughtfully.

“You mean like the Mist?” Cisco wiggled his eyebrows.

“Kind of. I mean, it looks like she’s dissolving, not really turning into air. What if she can dissolve her own molecules _with_ the air? That could make her invisible and explain why she moves so fast. She can travel by air as to say and then materialize again wherever she wants.”

“Would make sense,” they answered.

“But we can only say that for sure after I checked her DNA.”

“I bet she’s robbing some other place sometime soon again,” Barry said bitterly. “She actually said ‘see you soon’, so maybe next time I can grab her or something before she dissolves again.”

“We need a cool name for her.”

“Really, Cisco?”

“What?”

Both Caitlin and Barry rolled their eyes.

“How about … Invisible Ninja? Wait, no, that’s horrible. Maybe … maybe Invisible Girl. Yep, that’s it, it’s perfect. ”

Barry sighed. “Anyway, I have to get back at Len’s,” he said. “We were, like, right in the middle of it when this meta attacked.”

His eyes grew wide as soon as he realized what he had just said. “No, that’s not what I meant, I meant that we were right in the middle of – of planning, nothing else, just planning …”

But this didn’t make it any better. Cisco started to laugh heartily as Barry blushed in a deep shade of red. Even on Caitlin’s face appeared a small smirk.

“Yeah, sure,” Cisco said but his tone indicated that he didn’t believe a single word Barry said.

“No, really, I mean, we’re enemies, he’s a criminal–”

“A very good looking criminal, though,” Caitlin pointed out matter-of-factly.

Her friends gaped at her as if she had just suddenly grown a second head.

“What?” she said defensively. “Oh, come on, you can’t tell me you haven’t noticed.”

“Yeah, but he’s a _criminal_ …”

“You don’t have anything to say, Cisco, since you have a major crush on Lisa Snart,” Caitlin smirked.

“What? No! I mean, she’s seriously pretty hot, but she’s … she’s still a criminal, and manipulative, and even if there would ever be something going on between her and me, Cold would rip my head off, so yeah, there’s nothing …” But he his cheeks had started to blush, too, giving him away.

Now it was Barry’s turn to smirk. “Yeah, sure, of course there’s nothing between you two.”

“Exactly like there’s nothing between you and Cold.”

“There isn’t!” But the way both Barry’s friends smiled at him with a knowing look in their eyes, he knew he couldn’t convince them. Although he and Len really did not have something going on. Well, not really, at least.

“Okay, let’s just say that both the Snarts have very flattering genes, alright?” He tried not to blush any more as he said that.

Cisco rolled his eyes. “And the next thing is that Caitlin’s saying she finds Heat Wave attractive.” He turned his head to look at her, apparently hoping for an outburst of denial, but Caitlin just swiftly looked the other way.

“No way.”

Both Cisco and Barry gaped at her, raising their eyebrows in confusion which she answered with a small grin.

“Okay, this is getting _waaaay_ too weird,” Cisco shook his head.

“Yeah, since when are we discussing the various stages of looks and attractiveness of our enemies?”

All three of them burst out laughing. It took them a few moments before they managed to cool down again. Barry clenched his stomach that hurt a little but smiled. “Anyway, I have to go.”

“Have fun with Cold,” Cisco said again and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Shut up,” Barry growled and blushed again.

And before his friends could make any more comments on his love life, he was off, speeding towards Leonard’s apartment.

 

 

21.30 pm, Leonard’s apartment

Barry knocked again before he entered the apartment. To his surprise, he found Len sitting on the couch with a book in his hands, legs spread across and taking up the entire space, lights dimmed and music playing.

As soon as he entered, Len looked up and his smirk appeared almost instantly on his face. “Well, hello, Barry,” he greeted him and put his book on the coffee table in front of the couch. “What do I owe this late visit?”

“We were right in the middle of planning when this meta interfered.” Barry threw him a curious look. He took off his coat and toed his shoes off. Then, he walked over to the couch and gestured Len to make space which he immediately did. With a small, happy sigh, Barry sat down and looked at Len.

“I didn’t expect you to come back, to be honest.”

“How could I not? And missing you being all domestic, reading a book, listen to old jazz music in candlelight?”

Now it was Len’s turn to chuckle. “Despite me being a cold-hearted thief, I am still a human being. And I like books and the right ambiance while I’m reading.”

“Yeah, obviously.” Barry smiled. “What were you reading?”

“The Two Towers.”

Barry’s eyes grew wide in amusement.

“You’re reading _‘Lord of the Rings_ ’?”

“It’s a classic.”

“Sure it is, I just didn’t think you were that … nerdy.”

Len sighed heavily and extended his legs again. Carefully, he put them onto Barry’s lap, making the younger man blush yet again. Barry wasn’t embarrassed, definitely not. Instead, he felt a tingling sensation in his stomach again, like millions of butterflies were having a party inside of him.

“Like it or not, but I’m a seventies kid, and ‘Lord of the Rings’ was very popular when I was young. It was already pretty old then, but still.”

“Right. So you’re not a full on nerd. That’s also why you can lip-sync ‘Return of the Jedi’.”

Len just snorted dismissively, but Barry could see the hint of a smile.

“Anyway,” Len picked up, “how was your encounter with the meta? Could the Flash defeat him or her?”

“Unfortunately, no, he couldn’t. I don’t know yet what exactly this meta can do, we think it has something to do with turning invisible and combining her own molecules with those of the air, which makes her able to move pretty quickly but I swear she’s seriously badass when it comes to fighting, I bet she has a black belt in karate or something. She broke me two ribs, dislocated my left shoulder, and I’ve got bruises all over my torso.”

Len’s brows furrowed a little, and Barry thought that for a second he could see real concern flickered over his eyes. “But you’re okay?”

“Yeah, mostly. I mean, breathing hurts a little, but it’s getting better, thanks to super healing powers.”

“You need something, a cherry pit pillow, or tea, or an ice pack?”

Barry looked at Len surprisingly. Did he actually worry about Barry’s wellbeing?

“No, I’m fine, really. Just a bit tired.”

“Alright,” Len answered and shrugged a little.

They fell silent. Leonard had picked up his book again while Barry was leaning his head on the backrest, enjoying the comfortable position. From time to time, he threw glances at the other man and stared at him for a few seconds before he realized what he was doing, and then quickly looked away again. Len didn’t seem to notice that, or at least Barry hoped he didn’t, because the last thing he needed was Captain Cold catching him staring at him.

But Barry couldn’t help it. Len looked so normal, so relaxed, sitting there on the couch, sprawled all out with his legs still in Barry’s lap. He looked somewhat peaceful, without his usual smug on his lips. It made him look even younger and, to be honest, more handsome.

Barry’s insides revolted again at that thought. Stop it, Barry told himself. There’s nothing, nothing, _nothing_ going on. You’re just two men sitting on a couch, enjoying each other’s presence, but there’s nothing going on.

But no matter how hard Barry tried to get himself to believe it, it wasn’t working. The goosebumps, the blushing, and especially the typical butterflies in his stomach told him that they were definitely not just two normal buddies sitting on the couch. Or at least, Len wasn’t just a normal friend to Barry. He was more to him, he couldn’t deny it anymore. The fact alone that he had come here so late in the evening proved that. And it still scared him to death. Not only he started to seriously question his sexuality, which was frightening enough, but also his own sanity. He could not, under no circumstances fall in love with Leonard Snart, a criminal, his nemesis. Especially not since he knew that the other man would never return those feelings. Sure, he used Barry as a human pillow for his legs, but that still didn’t prove anything. He was just being himself, all teasing, charming, and flirting Leonard Snart, master thief, without really meaning it.

And obviously, he was stealing Barry’s heart.

With a heavy sigh, he closed his eyes, trying to get his mind to think of something else. He tried to focus on the music, get the lyrics and soft tones of Elvis Presley’s voice carry him away.

_But I can’t help_  
_Falling in love with you_  
_Like a river flows surely to the sea_  
_Darling,_ _so it goes_  
_Some things are meant to be_

Okay, nope, this was definitely not helping. Barry snapped his eyes open.

Len now had closed his book, looking over at Barry questioningly. “You okay?”

“Peachy.”

“Now you're stealing my words.”

Barry laughed hollowly. “No, really, I’m okay, just … tired I guess.”

“Something tells me this isn’t the truth.”

Shit, Barry thought.

But even before he could open his mouth again to answer, Len spoke up again. “But I won’t ask you what’s wrong, you wouldn’t tell me anyway. So, want to go on planning?”

Barry chuckled. “Yes, let’s do that.” He lifted Len’s legs and got up from the couch.

 

***

 

At least three hours had passed so far. They were still sitting on the table, looking at the plans folded out in front of them, discussing the possibilities of what could go wrong with their plan and creating backup plans for every possibility. Well, Len was planning; Barry had rested his head on his arms on the table, trying hard to keep his eyes from falling shut. But it was way past midnight, and Barry’s day had been long.

Len’s voice sounded in his ears, talking about what Nero could do when the cops would show up at the museum. Or was he saying that Nero would shoot civilians if they got in the way? He wasn’t sure anymore. His vision blurred along with his sense of hearing. Len’s voice became distant, a low soft drawl, lulling him to sleep. And then, Barry couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer, and they fell shut. It was so blissful, so soft, and so comfortable. Just resting his eyes for a few seconds wouldn’t hurt, would it? He would open them any second again and participate in their planning, but first, he had to rest them.

But of course, the universe wouldn’t let him have a little rest. He felt a little tugging on his arm. Something warm touched him, tried to wake him up.

“Barry,” a voice said from far away, a voice Barry could easily identify as Len’s. Nobody had a voice like him, this drawl that could sound so soft, and caring, but also ice-cold, and mocking, and amused, and _god_ , Barry just loved his voice.

“Barry, get up, you need to go to bed,” Len spoke softly.

“I’m awake,” he mumbled, hardly getting the words to leave his mouth.

“You’re unbelievable,” Len muttered, still tugging at Barry’s arm. “Okay, how about you stay here again? I won’t let you go home at this state when you can even barely talk.”

“M’kay,” Barry just said, this time a little more awake. He managed to open his eyes, and Len’s blurred face appeared in front of him, way closer than he expected it to be, just a few inches from his. “I’ll take the couch again.”

“You have a dislocated shoulder and broken ribs that are only just healing, you take the bed.”

“But then we have to share …”

“So?”

“It’d be weird,” Barry managed to bring out, trying hard not to let his eyes shut again.

“It can’t be any weirder than our relationship is now,” Len muttered. Although Barry wasn’t entirely sure if that was really what the other man had said as he was trailing off to the world of dreams again.

“Barry, wakey-wakey.”

“I’m totally awake.”

“Okay, get up, the bedroom’s not far from here.”

Barry didn’t even resist anymore. Maybe he was too sleep deprived to actually argue, and sleeping in a bed sounded so good right now, especially since he remembered how his back had ached so much after he had spent a night sleeping on Len’s coach.

Slowly, he managed to get up from the high chair and moved towards the bedroom. He felt Len’s hands on his shoulders, their warmth spreading through his shirt, leading the way to his bedroom. A firework of feels erupted inside of Barry. Suddenly, he became very aware of Len walking behind him, only a few inches separating them.

“Need any special sleeping clothes?” Len asked him when they arrived in the bedroom.

“No,” Barry brought out. “Just underwear.”

He could have sworn Len raised his eyebrows at that and smirked at him in his typical way if Barry hadn’t had so much trouble focusing his vision.

Slowly, he started to undress, half of his brain aware that Len was doing the same. But the other half was too tired, he was too tired to be embarrassed at that, too tired to care or blush. As soon as he had ditched all his clothes and was only wearing his boxers, he dropped on the left side of Len’s more than large king size bed.

He registered Len walking over to his side, rolling him a little over and then putting a blanket over him. The blanket smelled exactly like him, like a bonfire, fresh laundry, and Len’s cologne. Barry loved this smell.

He felt how the mattress yielded under Len’s weight as the other man lay down next to him. He threw one last glance at him. All Len was wearing were a pair of sweatpants, no tee shirt. The soft moonlight hit his skin from the window, illuminating his remarkable figure, making the tattoos on his body looking real.

“Good night,” Barry mumbled, his words hushed through the pillow.

“Sleep well, Scarlet.”

The last thing Barry thought of before he fell asleep for good this time was how good looking Len was, even in sleeping clothes, and how soft his voice sounded, and that he was uncontrollably and irrevocably falling in love with him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are seriously amazing, thank you for all the kudos and comments! xx  
> Now we have the second chapter where Barry stays over at Len's for the second time ... things are getting real :) I hope y'all liked it so far! xx


	14. Acceptance and Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But is Barry also willing to do something about his feelings, too?

 

_“Falling in and out of love, ashamed and proud of together all the while. You can never say never.” – The Fray_

 

Thursday, 8.55 pm, Leonard’s apartment

Len was still tired when he woke up the next morning. The sunbeams came through his window, tickling him, offering the last bit of warmth before winter came. This night, he had actually managed to sleep and not wake up somewhere in the middle. Nor had he had a nightmare but felt, in fact, relaxed.

He allowed himself the pleasure of keeping his eyes closed, enjoying the comfort and warmth his bed was offering.

He was well too aware that he hadn’t been the only one occupying his bed last night. Barry was still lying next to him, silently snorting, his arm outstretched and his fingers locking with Len’s. How this had happened during the night was beyond him but he didn’t complain. So if he was now lying still even though he was awake and not pulling back, it was definitely because he didn’t want to wake the other man up and not because now that Len was aware of their touch, it made the butterflies in his stomach dance tango as if he was having a schoolboy crush on the speedster. But it just felt too good to deny it anymore.

Still, Len had to get up at some point, prepare breakfast and get ready for the day. Barry would’ve to wake up as well since he had an actual job to go to for the better or the worse. His inner body clock told him that it had to be nearly nine in the morning.

Len let the touch linger for a few more moments before he carefully untangled his fingers from Barry’s and propped his upper body up on his elbow, facing Barry.

The speedster laid there, sprawled all across his side of the bed and tangled in the sheets. His mouth was, in fact, ajar and he was drooling, even it was just a little. He looked so peaceful, so innocent, and just plainly adorable, Len had to smile with only slightly flustered cheeks. (Barry was only wearing his underwear, after all. His pretty tight underwear that provided an inviting view on his backside.)

Slowly, he let his left hand wander towards Barry, gently brushing through his fluffy hair, caressing him, allowing himself this small moment. Then, quietly, Len got up, shifting his weight so the younger man wouldn’t wake up.

He made his way towards the kitchen and put some water in the boiler. He could make breakfast for them, and then Barry’d leave, and he had the whole day for his plans. Maybe later in the evening, Barry’d stop by again like he had done nearly every previous evening so far, and they would continue on their plan. Although that their “planning” had slowly turned out to be the two of them hanging out, eating dinner together, and if they could be bothered, they planned a bit. If the worst came to the worst, he could finish the plan himself. He already had pulled off heists with less of a plan than they had now, and still got something out of it and managed to escape the cops. Not that he particularly enjoyed those occasions, it always had been a little too reckless and chaotic for his liking, but it had worked somehow. Only this time it was different, this time, it was personal. And if he wanted to succeed with a hundred percent chance, the plan had to be perfect, detailed to the very last bit.

It was just that somehow, he couldn’t even get himself to actually do something when Barry was around, especially not when the other man was exhausted from work and his Flash patrols (or duties or whatever). Just sitting around in the apartment, talking, teasing, just spending time with the other was way better than plan a revenge on one of his former boyfriends.

Len’s thoughts were interrupted by a quiet, but definite thumping against his apartment door. Instantly, Len’s body stiffened, stopping track in hat he was doing. Who the hell could possibly show up here?

He narrowed his eyes, carefully put down the powered coffee beans and grabbed the gun he had hidden on the downside of his table. Slowly, he walked over and opened the door without making any noise, hiding the gun but ready to fire.

“Took your time,” the tall, broad man waiting at the door said in a low grumble.

“Mick,” Len greeted him with a slight tone of relief in his voice. He had had several nightmares before where Nero showed up in his apartment again, killing his sister again, and then killing Barry who had happened to stay over.

He moved away from the door and let his best friend enter. Quickly, he put the gun back under the table, grabbed a light gray sweater from his bedroom (until this point, he still had only been wearing his sleeping pants) and then closed the door quietly. Barry was still asleep, slightly snorting but now wrapped in not only his blanket but also Len’s. Len had to smirk. Typical. Although _he_ was the thief, Barry was the one stealing the blankets.

“You didn’t tell me you have a new boyfriend,” Mick addressed him, arching his neck so he could throw a glance into Len’s bedroom. He smirked with somewhat mischief in his eyes.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” He continued to brew the coffee, now taking out two mugs, one for Mick, too.

“Yeah, definitely. That’s why you let him sleep here and don’t even wear a shirt.”

“Trust me, Mick, there is nothing. Barry is … something special, but he would never want it to be that way between him and me.”

“Barry … that’s the kid’s name?”

Shit, Len thought. But then, Mick didn’t know who the person behind the Flash was, he would never draw the conclusion that the guy in Len’s bed was actually their enemy.

“Yes,” he finally said as he poured two cups of black coffee, adding some milk in his, “and he’s not as young as he looks.”

“No need to defend yourself,” Mick grunted and sipped his coffee, still wearing the smirk on his face. “I ain’t judging you.”

“Well, you better don’t, as you have this crush on the dear Dr. Caitlin Snow since we kidnapped her,” he teased his friend.

“Shut up.” A small, nearly undetectable tint of red appeared on Mick’s cheeks.

Len only chuckled in response and continued to drink his coffee. “So,” he said after a while, “why exactly have you come to visit me here?”

Mick grunted. “Just wanted to let you know there’s been some talk, people saying Captain Cold is losing his cool.”

Len raised his eyebrows. This had to be a joke, right?

But when he saw that a serious expression had set on Mick’s face, he snorted. “Well, they’re wrong. I’m still in the game, just … pausing a little until I’ve dealt with some stuff.”

“With people, you mean.”

“What exactly do you know about that matter?”

“There’s been a man, looking like some stuck up rich guy playing criminal, telling everyone you’d gone soft, pointed out that failed heist. Seemed to convince some of them that you’re not the boss anymore. Was waving around the cold gun, saying he got it from you after he beat you in a fight.”

Len gritted his teeth in anger. “Nero, that bastard.”

“Nero as in that ex-lover of yours?”

He exhaled loudly. Sometimes, he could easily forget how perceptive Mick could be despite being considered only to be the muscles and not the brain in their team. “Yes, exactly him.”

“Huh. Why?”

“Because, as you might remember, I’ve been not all too nice to him, killing his family and all. He wants payback.”

“Told you before that was a dick move.”

“Not helping, Mick.”

The pyromaniac only grunted. “Just thought you should now.”

“Thanks.” Len sipped his coffee again, trying to focus. “Who you said was believing that story of him beating me?”

“Just some no names, petty criminals who didn’t really know you. None of the Rogues, though, although Mardon looked pretty impressed. You should keep an eye out for him, boss.”

Mardon. Of course, that unreliable bastard. He had never really agreed to Len’s terms concerning the Flash and he and Len happened to pick a fight with each other about that every single time.

“So nobody important except maybe Mardon?”

“Nope. One of those Santini idiots was at the bar at that night, too, but he was too busy with some chick to actually notice Nero.”

Good. This was good. So not too much damage had been done then, and the little stuff he could handle. But Len was sure that this couldn’t have been all of Nero’s plan. This was too small, too easy for him. He would go big, and Len was pretty sure he would again somewhere in the near future.

“And Snart, just so ya know, if you need any help with that bastard, well, here I am.”

“With Mardon or Nero?”

“Both.”

“I got the thing with Nero covered. Besides, I agreed not to kill him, too, despite he’s such a son of a bitch and would’ve deserved it.”

“And you think I’d kill him?”

Len only raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah, you’re right,” he shrugged. “Still, if you need me to burn something …”

“I’ll come back to you.” Len smiled thinly. “You can look out for Mardon, though, and if he show’s any signs of disloyalty, you could, ah, show him your fire so he remembers his place.”

Mick grinned. “Sure thing.” He emptied his coffee in one draught and moved towards the door. He turned to Len again before he left. “Oh, besides, I’ve heard of Lisa. She’ll be okay?”

Len’s chest tightened unpleasantly. “Yes, eventually.”

“I’m sorry, man.” He paused. “Nero did this?”

Len only nodded briefly. He could see Mick’s instant frown turning into rage and fury.

“You sure you don’t wanna kill him?”

“Yes, I am. I promised the Flash I wouldn’t kill anyone, you know that.”

“He doesn’t have to know.”

“He already does.”

Now Mick raised his eyebrows. “Huh,” he just commented before a small smirk appeared on his face. “Well, you have to know what you’re doing.” He gave Len a last smile before he quietly opened the apartment door. “If you need me, you know where to find me.”

“Thanks, Mick.”

Nodding shortly, Len’s best friend left.

As soon as the door was closed again, Len exhaled loudly, his shoulders slumped forward. But he caught himself quickly again, putting on his stern mask of nonchalance. He couldn’t show any signs of weakness, of tiredness, not because of Nero. But Mick’s visit had shown him once again how badly he’d fuck up. Not only because his sister was injured badly (luckily she was recovering), but how much he’d fucked things up in his past. It was his fault, he couldn’t deny it, and no soothing words from Barry could change that. He killed Nero’s family, after all, fueling his rage, his hatred, destroying a life like his own father had destroyed his. He had turned an innocent man into a monster.

He heard the door to his bedroom door open and saw a sleepy Barry tapping out. “Len?” he asked with his voice still a little raspy.

“Good morning, Scarlet,” he said, a fond smile appearing on his face. Barry was still just in his boxers, hair ruffled, and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. And damn, he looked so adorable. It was going to be the death of Len.

“Morning,” he said with a large yawn. As soon as his focus fell on the still steaming coffee pot, his eyes brightened. “Coffee!” he exclaimed and moved towards the cupboard containing the cups. Quickly, Len let Mick’s cup vanish before Barry turned around and poured himself a coffee. With a happy sigh, he took a large sip.

Len only smirked and kept his gaze fixed on the younger man, trying not too hard to stare at his still half-naked body. “Are your shoulder and ribs better?” he asked, looking innocent.

Barry tilted his head and moved his body a little to test it out. “Yeah, they are. Thanks for, um, letting me sleep in your bed …” Of course, he was blushing again.

“You’re very welcome, Barry,” Len answered, his smirk intensifying.

“So, um,” Barry started, rubbing the back of his neck while blushing even more, “how about breakfast?” Right on the cue, his stomach gave a loud growl.

Len laughed. “Always hungry, eh? I’ll make us some.”

“Thanks,” he answered with a wide grin on his face.

“Anything special you’d like?”

“Nah, not really.”

“Eggs, bread, fruits?”

“Sounds marvelous.”

“Alright then,” Len muttered and turned towards the fridge to take out everything he needed.

“Need any help?” Barry asked as he stepped next to Len, closer than necessary, but Len didn’t mind. He stopped dead in his tracks, letting his eyes slowly wander upwards, looking at Barry’s body from this close. His skin looked so soft, his chest hairless, and his stomach defined by abs. Len gulped and couldn’t prevent a little heat rising inside of him.

“If you want to,” he responded, his voice a little too husky to sound as if this wasn’t a totally normal situation and as if he wasn’t turned on by Barry still not wearing anything else than his black boxer briefs.

“Just tell me what to do.”

Len smirked. “You can cut the fruits here into pieces.” He would sure as hell not point out to Barry that he was still undressed as long as he didn’t realize that himself.

“Alright,” he yawned, oblivious to the burning gaze Len threw him.

They started preparing their breakfast, both at normal human speed when suddenly the ringing sound of a cell phone cut through the blissful silence.

“Crap,” Barry cursed, flashing into the bedroom. “Yeah, hey Iris,” Len heard him saying. “No, no, I’m okay, don’t worry.” Pause.

Len listened carefully, trying not to miss anything. Apparently, the cop’s daughter had grown suspicious of her brother’s whereabouts.

“I stayed over at a friend’s, he let me sleep there …”

Len smirked. He had been right, of course.

“No, seriously, I’m fine, why wouldn’t I?”

The other man kept continuing to whisk the eggs together, still listening.

“No, I can’t tell you who it is …”

That caused Len to smirk even wider. He kind of liked the idea of being Barry’s dirty little secret.

“What, no, I – hey, Cisco.”

Uh oh. Obviously little Miss West was pissed.

“What? Are you serious? Okay, I’m coming.”

Len raised his eyebrows at that. A second later, Barry stood next to him again, holding his phone in his hand, still only wearing his boxers.

With an apologetic look on his face, he turned to Len. “I’m sorry, I have to go, someone saw that meta from last night in the city, I have to go and check it out–”

“It’s fine, go then and save the city.”

“I’m sorry, I’ll stop by later again and get my stuff, okay?”

“I’m flattered that you enjoy my presence so much, Barry.”

Barry looked flustered again, his cheeks with a tint of red again. “That’s not – you’re unbelievable.”

Len only smiled smugly in response to that.

Barry shook his head again. “Anyway, I gotta go–”

“Note that you are still only wearing your underwear,” Len noted matter-of-factly.

Now Barry’s skin turned to scarlet, the blush extending down to his chest. In an instant, he flashed back into Len’s backroom and appeared again only two seconds after that, wearing his jeans and a black V-neck sweater that looked highly familiar to him. He looked ridiculously hot.

“Okay, now I have to go,” he panted out quickly.

“See you later,” Len answered, “and try not to get your ass kicked once again.”

“Ha-ha, very funny.”

He smirked again, and Barry rolled his eyes, trying to hide the smile on his face in that movement.

“Bye, Len,” he said before he raced out, only leaving his orange lightning behind.

“And usually I’m the one leaving before breakfast,” he muttered under his breath, trying to get the various images of Barry out of his mind. But although nearly-naked Barry was definitely something, he couldn’t help but smile fondly when he thought how Barry had (probably accidentally) grabbed one of Len’s sweaters and wore it as if it was something normal, looking so comfortable and still unbelievably attractive. This was something he could get used to, Barry wearing his clothes, being around, staying over the night, waking up next to him in the morning. Although he definitely wouldn’t mind if they’d something more than just stare at each other when they thought the other one wasn’t looking. Len knew Barry did this, too, having caught his gaze more than once, but never said anything, only enjoying himself at the obvious interest.

 

 

9.45 am, S.T.A.R. Labs

“Barry! Where on earth have you been?”

Instinctively, he ducked his head and took a few steps back. This was bad. “I told you, I was, uh, at a friend’s place.”

“Then why does this sound as if you’re lying to me?” Iris came storming towards him with an expression on her face as if she was accusing him of murder and not because he hadn’t been home last night.

“I’m not, believe me, I was just so tired and he let me crash!”

“And who is _he_ , Barry?”

Shit. He opened his mouth, his mind racing. He couldn’t tell her the truth, she would kick him in his ass so hard he wouldn’t be able to sit for the next few days. “I – I –”

“Barry, Invisible Girl is attacking the jewelry store across the precinct on Rose Boulevard, third corner!”

Barry jerked his head up. “Shit,” he exclaimed before he rushed to his suit and flashed out of the labs, on his way to Invisible Girl. Time to get a payback and deal with Iris’ wrath later.

 

***

 

Five minutes later he was already back again in the labs. As soon as he had arrived at the crime scene, Invisible Girl the Ninja had already been disappearing. He saw her smirking with a large bag full of jewels and necklaces and expensive rings, waving him goodbye mockingly before she had dissolved into thin air. Again.

Grumpily, he got rid of his suit and changed into his clothes again, his stomach growling loudly. He hadn’t had any breakfast so far, and his repeated defeat did nothing to lift his spirits.

“I can’t get her,” he growled and flung himself down on the chair next to Cisco. He was sitting in front of his computer, Iris standing next to him, her expression something between worried and pissed. “She’s too good, with that disappearing and going invisible thing. When I arrived, she was done already!”

“We’ll get her, don’t worry.”

Barry snorted quietly but tried to calm down at the same time. There was no use to let his anger out on his friends, they had nothing to do with it. He tried hard to concentrate on his morning before he had been whisked away to the jewelry store. When he had woken up, he had known immediately where he had been, instantly discovering Len’s smell. It had been a blissful night without a nightmare nor any waking up. Len’s bed was way too comfortable to not sleep well in it, and besides, just spending his night next to him …

Okay, no, stop, no thinking about Len in that way when he was here. Although it definitely was a nice memory.

“Oh, Barry, I haven’t seen that sweater yet, have you been shopping recently without me?” Iris asked, her voice friendlier than before, pulling him out of his thoughts.

Confused, Barry looked down, only to see he was wearing a black V-neck sweater he definitely didn’t own himself but which he had seen already. His eyes widened. Shit. Obviously, he had accidentally grabbed one of Len’s, too tired and too rushed to even notice his mistake.

“Oh, um, no, I think I must have gotten it mixed up with L– my friend’s clothes, I was rather in a hurry when I arrived here.” His cheeks felt hot. As he saw Cisco’s eyes growing round in realization. Oh, crap. Cisco knew exactly where he had been the night.

“So you _do_ have a lover you’re not telling me about?” She made a pout with mischief gleaming in her eyes, an expression that definitely spelled trouble. “Is it because he’s a guy? Barry, you know I don’t care about the gender of the people you’re dating as long as they make you happy.”

“Wha– no, Iris, I don’t have a secret boyfriend, really, we’re friends, there’s nothing going on, trust me, it was just an accident!”

She put her hands on her hips, looking at him accusingly. “Then why don’t you tell me who it is?”

“I – it’s complicated.”

“Complicated?”

“Yeah, complicated …”

“Barry, you _do_ get that I am your sister and your best friend, and I also happen to be a journalist. I will find out if I want to.”

“Okay, Iris, look, I really, really, _really_ would tell you about it, but I just know you wouldn’t approve, and you wouldn’t like him, but we’re not dating anyway, just friends, I’m just helping him with something, so there’s nothing to be worried about and you don’t have to go all Sherlock Holmes. Please?”

Cisco was looking between them, his eyes darting from Barry to Iris and back again, frowning, his expression something between joy, embarrassment, and utter disbelief.

“Alright,” Iris answered finally, still looking suspicious, “only because I love you so much and respect your decisions. But if I should find out you’re secretly dating someone and not telling me about it …”

“I’ll tell you if that should be the case, I promise, although that will never happen, so it doesn’t matter, but I’d tell you then.” No way he’d tell her if he and Len ever should be something more. (Although Barry doubted that highly. This thought suddenly gave him an aching feeling in his chest as if his heart was tightening and all the air was sucked out of his lungs. Okay, no thinking about Len, he told himself.)

Iris seemed soothed and her expression softened. She walked towards him and pulled him into her arms for a small hug. “Okay then, I gotta go to work. I better see you tonight, alright?”

“Yeah, see you tonight!”

She waved both Cisco and Barry goodbye and left the building. As soon as the sound of her heels clattering on the ground had faded and she was out of earshot, Barry exhaled loudly, slumping down on his chair.

Cisco instantly turned towards him and threw him an accusing, but also amused look. “Dude!”

“I know.”

“You were at Cold’s last night, right?”

“Yish.”

“Dude!” Cisco said again, his eyes growing even wider.

“I know, _I know_! Look, I actually fell asleep with my face on the table, so he didn’t let me run home because I could barely keep my eyes open! It’s nothing, really, he’s just being nice, that’s all.”

“You sure he has no other intentions? Like, killing you in your sleep?”

“No, I don’t think he’d be too fond of having blood spilled all over his bed.”

Cisco gaped, and Barry realized his mistake too late.

“In his bed?” he half shrieked. “You slept with him in his freaking bed?”

“It’s not what it looks like! We just … shared the bed, okay? He wouldn’t let me sleep on the couch again, not after my back hurt so much the last time and now I had a dislocated shoulder and broken ribs because of Invisible Girl.”

“… the last time?”

Oh, crap. “Um, I might’ve stayed over on Halloween, too? Accidently?” His face felt like it was on fire with all his blood rushing to his cheeks in embarrassment.

Cisco threw his arms in the air in disbelief. “Dude!” he repeated. “And you’re only telling me now?”

“There’s nothing to it, I swear!”

Cisco raised his eyebrows and Barry could tell he didn’t believe him. Hell, he wouldn’t even believe himself right now, not since he knew that there was something …

“Giving the way you keep blushing every time, you spent more time with him than with your family, have already had a slumber party with him, and this Nero guy thinks you two are dating, you can’t possibly tell me there’s nothing going on between you two.”

Barry didn’t reply, but ruffled with his hand through his hair and stared at the half-eaten sandwich lying on the table as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

“Barry, I’m your friend.” His voice was softer this time. “If there’s really something going on, you can tell me. I mean, I can imagine that it wouldn’t be easy for you, considering it’s freaking Captain Cold we’re talking about and you’ve never dated a guy before. Or wait, have you ever dated a guy before?”

Barry laughed hollowly, still not daring to look up, too afraid of what he might see in Cisco’s eyes. He knew that he could trust him, no matter what, and that he might not even joke about it when it was really important to Barry. But admitting it out loud, admitting it to someone else made it real, too real for Barry’s liking. He still tried to deny it, tried hard to push those thoughts and feelings as far away as possible.

“No, I haven’t had a boyfriend yet,” he finally answered, but his gaze still fixed on the sandwich. “Hell, I didn’t even know I was interested in guys in general! All my life, there’s only been Iris. And then Linda and Patty, but those two are still women, too. I never thought I …” His voice trailed away, and finally, he lifted his gaze, looking at his friend. “It’s just so weird. I never thought this was possible.”

“So you do have a thing for Captain Cold.” It wasn’t a question, more like a statement.

“Yes. No. I don’t know! Maybe?” He sighed heavily. “Yeah, Cisco, I really think I do.”

And in this moment, he realized that it was true. They may have been associates before, not exactly deadly enemies but not really friends either. But now, during all the weeks of planning, spending time together, teasing, having actual fun, their relationship had changed. Barry’s feelings for Len had changed, a lot. He’d had the chance to see behind his Cold persona, behind the carefully controlled mask. He had gotten to get a glimpse at what Leonard Snart was like in private, how _Len_ was as a person. And Barry had liked that, liked him very much.

“Well, you always had a soft spot for him, even after he kidnapped both me and Cait.”

Barry groaned. “Yes, I know, why d’you think I’m feeling so bad about this? I know who he is, I know he’s a criminal, and a liar, and a thief, his words precisely. I know he has killed some people. It’s just … I don’t know. I can’t explain it. He can be so different when he’s Len and not Captain Cold, so funny and caring, still sarcastic but in a good way, and to be honest, he’s a pretty awesome cook.” He ruffled through his hair again, but now with a small smile on his face.

Barry looked up again, seeing that Cisco, too, was wearing a small smile, his expression still soft. “Yeah, you don’t have to tell me about it, it’s kinda the same with Lisa … I mean, I know that she’s not really any better than Cold, and that she’s manipulative and all, but I still really like her. And she’s so beautiful. Now, does this make me weird?”

Barry laughed. “Maybe a little. Not as weird as me, though.”

“Look, Barry, I can’t help you finding out if you’re gay or just gay for him, if you’re pansexual or bisexual or whatever, only you can do that. But when you find out, no matter what you’ll find out, I’ll support you, alright? You know I’m always here for you.”

“Yeah, I know. Thanks, buddy.”

They both smiled, both looking at each other understandingly. A comfortable warmth spread in Barry’s chest, knowing that his best friend had his back, even when it came to things like having a crush on your nemesis. Cisco was still there and hadn’t taken a run for it.

In that moment, as if timed on an internal clock to always ruin nice moments, Barry’s stomach gave a growl again, now louder than before to complain about the lack of food.

Barry let out a small laugh. “Well, I should probably head back, I hadn’t had any breakfast yet and I’m starving.”

“Back at _Len’s_?” He wiggled his eyebrows, causing Barry to roll his eyes.

“Yeah, back to his apartment. He was preparing breakfast before I left, and maybe there’s still something left over when I’m lucky.”

“Well, have fun then, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, either.”

Barry just rolled his eyes and got up. “Thanks, though, Cisco.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“Just … don’t tell anyone about it, okay?”

“I’ll be as quiet as a grave.” He locked his mouth with an imaginary key and threw it over his shoulders, smirking at Barry.

“Thanks,” Barry said again before he flashed out of S.T.A.R. Labs and took the now well-familiar route to Len’s apartment.

 

 

10.30 am, Len’s apartment

“Hey, Barry,” Len greeted him as he entered the apartment. He was lying on the couch, still only wearing the light gray sweater and his black sleeping pants, his head buried in another book.

Barry kicked off his shoes and put his coat down before he stepped closer. He glanced at the title of the book and let out something between a snort and a laugh, amused.

“‘War and Peace’? Seriously?”

Len looked up, smiling at him with an amused expression on his face. “It’s a classic, Scarlet.” He closed the book with a snap, put it down and got up quickly, walking towards the kitchen. “You still hungry?” he called over his shoulder.

“Yeah, I guess, I still haven’t eaten anything.” He walked over to the kitchen, too, leaning against the counter and watched Len pulled out several bowls out of the fridge. He leaned forward a little, seeing that one of them contained some cut fruits and the other Len’s mixture of whisked eggs.

“You haven’t eaten it yet?” he asked surprised.

“Why should I when I knew you’d come back to me, hungry, and only waiting for me to feed you?” He looked at Barry, his lips twitching up to a teasing smile.

Barry only rolled his eyes. “Yeah, okay,” he said and made his way to take out the plates and set the table while Len purred his egg mixture into a pan and started to fry them.

“So, how’s your encounter with the meta been going?” he asked.

“Peachy. When I arrived there, she was already disappearing again, winking at me to show me that I couldn’t catch her, again.”

“Sounds like she’s the female version of me, just without the cool.”

Barry snorted. “And without all the ridiculous cold puns.”

“Come on, I know you love my puns.” He turned to Barry once again who had gone on a search for bread in Len’s kitchen and flashed him a smile.

Barry just rolled his eyes and muttered “maybe” under his breath, hoping Len wouldn’t hear it, but his smile turned into a satisfied smirk, telling Barry he had indeed caught what he had said.

“So yeah, haven’t caught her yet, she’s still out there and hitting jewelry stores.”

He watched Len as he cooked their breakfast, carefully stirring the eggs and adding some herbs from time to time. The other man kept his gaze fixed onto the pan but still wore a small smile on his face, that kind of smile that made Barry swoon. Like this, when Len was in comfortable clothes and actually seeming to be at least a little happy, relaxing in Barry’s presence, made the speedster’s chest tighten, and then fill with warmth. His stomach started to hurt instantly, but the good kind of pain as is it wanted to point out to him how much he liked Len.

“I’m sure you’ll catch her, Scarlet,” Len said reassuringly and threw Barry a smile before he looked away quickly again. “I mean, she’d be a marvelous addition to my Rogues, but I prefer to be the only thief who can outsmart you.”

“Feeling special, eh?”

Len smirked. “Maybe a little. I mean, where’s all the fun when you can’t focus on my game because there’s a girl running wild and ruining everything?”

“Yeah, I better catch her before she can ruin any of your future heists,” Barry replied sarcastically but not without smiling despite himself.

“Exactly.” He pointed the spatula at him before he took the frying pan from the stove and turned around to carefully place the scrambled eggs onto their plates, giving Barry four times as much as himself. “Enjoy.”

Together, they sat down next to each other, their legs touching, but none of them moved away. They started eating, and holy crap, the eggs tasted really good. Len definitely knew how to cook.

After a few minutes of silence, Len picked up the conversation again. “You have to go to work, I presume?”

Barry sighed deeply. “Unfortunately, yes. God, Singh’s gonna be so pissed when I’ll arrive, I’m, like, two hours late.”

“No planning afterward, then?”

“I can stop by in the evening again, but I can’t stay now. I’ve, um, already used up all my sick days for Flash duty,” he said, a slight blush rising in his cheeks again. “And Iris was at S.T.A.R. Labs earlier and questioned me where the hell I’ve been last night and made clear that if I’m not at home tonight, she’ll start to investigate in where I’m always going.”

“What a shame,” Len answered with a theatrically voice, clutching his heart as if he was in pain.

“If it’s so important to you, I’ll try to come back as soon as I can.” Now it was Barry’s turn to smirk a little, teasing the other man.

“Nah, don’t sweat it, Scarlet, I think I’m able to survive a few hours without you.”

Barry only chuckled in response and quietly finished his breakfast. As soon as he was done, he glanced at the clock on the wall. It said nine minutes after eleven.

Barry sighed again and rose up from the table. “Well, I gotta go to work.”

“Have fun,” Len smirked again.

“Thanks.” He glanced at Len, his gaze fixing upon his lips. Those soft, full lips. Oh, what would Barry give to know what it’d feel like to kiss Len …

He forced himself to look up and meet Len’s eyes, which still wasn’t exactly helping. He smiled again, trying to gain back the control over his feelings and thoughts. “Bye, Len,” he said before he rushed out, quickly grabbing his coat and bag and raced towards the CCPD.

It was only when he was standing in his lab and started to fill out the reports Captain Singh had placed on his desk with an angry note when he realized that he was still wearing Len’s sweater. But seriously, he couldn’t be bothered to change anything about that.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Has anyone of you watched the show Eyewitness? I started last week, and holy shit, it's so good!! I highly recommend it, go watch it immediately if you haven't already! (It's only got seven episodes so far, so it isn't that much. It's about two boys who are secretly in a relationship and witnessed a murder. But obviously, they can't tell anyone what they saw because they keep their romance, well, secret. And apart from that, the show has a lot of drama, crime, and suspense, it's really really good!)  
> Anyway, I hoped you liked the chapter and all the fluff so far :) We're slowly getting nearer and nearer to them finally getting together, just a little more patience, my friends xx


	15. Snowflakes, Mistletoes, and Miracles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our boys go to the Christmas Market.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously feel like all this fluff is getting way too cheesy, but whatever. Enjoy!

 

_“And I found love where it wasn’t supposed to be.” – Amber Run_

 

Friday, 8 pm, Len’s apartment

At normal human pace, Barry walked from the precinct towards Len’s apartment. His mind was drifting but he knew the route already so well, his legs seemed to move out of habit.

It had become a habit that he’d walk over (or ran over, depending on his mood) to meet with Len again after his work, before returning home late in the evening. His family would still be awake when he would arrive there, usually close to midnight. Every evening Joe’d ask where he had been, not really believing Barry’s story of visiting a friend. Iris, however, only started to smirk at some point and wiggling her eyebrows at Barry once she was sure Joe wasn’t looking her way. And of course she tried to press out of him with who exactly he was meeting, but Barry managed to keep quiet, although two days ago it had been a close call. Iris had tried a different method of both blackmailing and flirting, and Barry had nearly given in to her asking but luckily, Wally had walked into his room with a question about some engineering problem, and Iris had left with a smug grin on her face.

Barry’d never thought it would be that hard to keep a secret from his family, after all, he had a lot of practice already, keeping his secret identity hidden from Iris for almost a whole year. But having a secret relationship? That somehow was much more difficult.

Although it wasn’t really a relationship, not at all. It was strange between them now, and Barry didn’t know what exactly it was. He, Barry, definitely had feelings for Len, he knew that much. He had accepted this during the last week, becoming more and more sure of it. And if that meant he was bisexual, then fine. His family and friends would be supportive of that (of his sexual orientation, not necessarily of Len. In fact, he was pretty sure that once Barry’d tell Joe about it or introduce Len to him as in terms of a boyfriend, it wouldn’t take long for his foster dad to put a bullet in the thief’s head.) Even the officers at work would be okay with that since the captain had a husband himself. So this wouldn’t be a problem, then.

But it still didn’t help Barry with his small identity crisis he was having right now. He still couldn’t help the constant reminder of his conscious that Len was one of the bad guys, that he was a known and convicted criminal, and no matter what, he’d never change, especially not for someone else just to please them. That much Barry knew about Len: he only stuck to his own rules, being his own master with no obligations towards others. And he also knew that he shouldn’t trust Len, not after all those things that happened. He could still betray him once again since he _was_ a liar after all. He had said it himself. Barry was the hero, and Len was the criminal, his enemy. And enemies and heroes weren’t supposed to fall in love, right?

And yet, when Barry was with Len, he forgot all those things, that it should be a little weird since Len was the first man he ever liked and desired in that way. It seemed so natural, their light banter, teasing, and joking, their evenings and dinners together. He made it seemed so easy, living like this, sharing at least a part of their life. Heck, even the bigger part of his brain told him most of the time that all this was okay, that it might seem off a little, but that this shouldn’t be something he’d be embarrassed or afraid of. When Barry was young, both his real parents had taught him that love was something special and nothing to be ashamed of. If he loved someone, he should be able to display that and not care about other people’s opinions. The love he felt belonged to him, and only him. And it was supposed to be a good thing.

When Barry walked at normal human pace, it took him thirty-six minutes to walk from his lab to Len’s apartment, taking the shortest route. He had time to think about everything, sorting his head out.

He had been looking forward to the next few hours since he had gotten up in the morning. They were pretty much done with planning since Len had been more and more focused, determined with reaching their goal. And now their plan was nearly perfect (with only slight details that could go wrong, but they had backup plans for every possibility). His rage on Nero had only increased over the last few days since he had been visiting his sister again. Lisa was still unconscious, although she was getting better. It was good news, nearly all of her internal organs had healed perfectly, although there was still a little damage done to one of her kidneys that couldn’t be cured. She had had to undergo several surgeries that had cost a lot of money, but Len was willing to pay for it (with the money he got from various heists, but Barry tried hard to ignore that fact since it was to help Lisa).

Before Barry realized it, he arrived at the apartment building where Len lived. He let out a happy sigh before he entered and walked upstairs and knocked three times on the door with the number 717.

The door was immediately pulled open, and Len stood in the door frame, wearing an all-black outfit once again with a small smirk on his face.

Barry had trouble to breathe properly, Len’s appearance was too stunning.

“Hello, Scarlet,” he greeted Barry with his nickname.

“Hi,” Barry answered, still a little breathless.

Len moved aside and gestured Barry to come inside. He obliged, brushing past Len, suddenly aware of their closeness in the moments they both stood in the door frame. Once he had stepped inside, Barry exhaled again and continued to put off his coat and shoes, placing his bag next to the door.

“Hm, you look good tonight, Barry.”

He turned around and saw Len’s eyes wander over his body. He wasn’t wearing anything special, just a gray pair of jeans and an equally gray shirt underneath a blue and red jacket.

“Um, thanks? I guess.” He could feel the heat rising up his cheeks once again, and ruffled his hair absently. He had come to terms with constantly blushing in Len’s presence, it seemed as if the other man said things like that on purpose, only to see Barry’s cheeks reddening.

Len only laughed, and moved to the kitchen and leaned against the counter while Barry sat down on one of the barstools around the table. He fixed Len with his gaze, looking deep into his eyes. For a few moments, Len accepted the silent challenge, before Barry had to yawn and interrupt the eye contact.

“How was your day, Barry?”

“Okay, so far, actually. Singh didn’t even tell me off for being late which is an improvement. And, well, there was no strange meta attack today so no busy day as the Flash, either.”

“Sounds like a relaxed day for once.”

“M-hm.” He smiled. “How was yours?”

“Better than expected. I met up with Mick, he said he’d help to spread the message to make sure Nero’ll be at the museum when we finally take him down. And he already had another heist in mind as soon as I get my gun back.”

Barry groaned. “You serious?”

“Somehow I have to get my hands on some money; those hospital bills don’t pay themselves.” He just shrugged, but Len’s typical smirk appeared on his lips again as soon as he saw Barry burying his face in his hands.

“And I thought things’d be quiet after all this is over.”

Len only laughed. The slight tension that had built up in the room eased and everything was normal again. Well, as normal you could call their situation that.

“So, what shall we eat for dinner?”

“How about we go out again tonight?” Len asked.

Barry suppressed another yawn, leaning far back in his chair to stretch himself. “What’s wrong with ordering food? I mean, we hadn’t any Indian food during the last week, and it’s so cozy in here …”

Len only rolled his eyes dramatically. “Once you reach my age, you’ll know the issue with stuff like pizza. Heartburn isn’t really something nice, kid. And since I paid the last time we went out, it’d be your turn now.”

Barry’s head snapped up and he faced Len. Was he really suggesting for them to go out again?

“Another dinner date, then, heh?” He flashed a bright smile as he saw how Len was nodding and giving him an annoyed look as if he had just said the obvious. His smile only brightened and he had trouble concealing his excitement. The last time they’ve been out has been two weeks ago, and it had been an evening Barry had been thinking of a lot. Not only because it had been nice all things considered, actually, Barry had never felt so good in a long time. Not on a date, at least. Only this had barely counted as a date, didn’t it? After all, Len could never, would never, have a crush on him, on a skinny boy way too young who also happened to be his enemy.

Still, Len had seemed happy that evening, too, even dropping his usual smirk most times and replaced it by actual, genuine smiles. And in Barry’s opinion, Len smiling was one of the most beautiful things in the world.

“Alright, Captain _Old_ , we can go out if that’s your wish.” He paused, tilting his head and eyed Len with a mischievous expression in his eyes. “On one condition.”

The other man raised his eyebrows. “And that would be?”

“I get to choose where.”

“If that’s all you want, then fine.” He chuckled a little.

“Perfect!” He jumped from his chair, leaving a trail of lightning behind, and a not even a second later, he stood at the door waiting for Len, already having both his shoes and coat on.

Len just shook his head again, but got up, too. Antagonizing slow, he collected his own coat (black, what else) which was cut neatly so it accentuated his build in the best way possible. Barry swallowed audibly, trying to tear his eyes from Len and forced himself to look him in the eyes. He was greeted by a smug grin once again, while Len carefully wrapped a scarf around his neck.

Heat rose in Barry’s cheeks. Damn. Len looked way too good like this.

“Like what you see?” Walking towards Barry, Len smirked and slowly opened the door to motion Barry to step outside.

“Shut up,” he only murmured, trying to push the blush back.

Len only chuckled, and together they made their way downstairs and out in the freezing cold.

Winter had now officially arrived in Central City. The streets and rooftops were covered in a tiny layer of snow. It looked like the whole city was sprinkled by thousands of small diamonds, shining and glittering brightly every time the snow was hit by a beam of light.

The air was frosty, but Barry didn’t mind so much (and Len surely didn’t either). Small snowflakes were falling down, getting stuck in Barry’s hair and on Len’s short buzz cut. It didn’t take long until Len’s whole head was covered in snow, making him look as if his hair was indeed white.

Barry glanced over at him and burst out laughing. But Len ignored him and out of the pockets of his coat, he pulled out a black beanie and put it on.

Immediately, Barry had to gasp, and he could feel himself blush once again. Damn. Why did this goddamned man have to look absolutely gorgeous no matter what he was wearing?

Len caught Barry’s stare and smirked again. “So, you giving us a ride to wherever you want to have dinner?”

Barry shook his head, trying to get his mind to focus. “Yeah, um, yes, sure.” Idiot, he scolded himself, but grabbed Len bridal style and zoomed away, right towards the center of the city.

The warm lights of streetlamps and the smell of candy cotton and glühwein greeted Barry as soon as he and Len arrived. Carefully, he put the other man down, who was still clinging onto the speedster for a few moments, looking a little nauseous.

“I will never get used to this,” he muttered under his breath, trying hard to focus on his surroundings.

Barry looked at him, and he could pinpoint the exact moment when Len realized where he had brought them. His eyes widened in shock and he sucked in his breath, gasping. “Goddammit, Barry!”

Barry started to laugh heartily. He knew Len wouldn’t like it. But this made it so much more fun.

“A Christmas market? Seriously?”

“Hey, I love Christmas markets! They’re awesome!”

Len snorted. “Yeah, sure. When you’re a little kid. Or when you’ve actually been to one before when you were a kid.”

This shut Barry up for a moment. “You – you’ve never been to a Christmas market before?”

“As you know, my dad was an arse. And I don’t remember much of my mom, so no Christmas-influence from her.”

“Wow. Okay.” But of course, it made sense. Barry had met Lewis Snart himself, he knew first-handed how he had treated his son, how he had been as a person. And knowing Len’s history with his father … It wasn’t surprising Lewis Snart had even denied his kids the simple pleasure of a Christmas market.

“Okay, so it’s time you go to your first Christmas market, even it’s at such an old age as forty-four.” He grinned again. “Come on, I’ll show you how amazing they are.”

Len rolled his eyes again, but a smile slipped onto his lips and he let himself drag along by Barry.

Barry had been on this Christmas market countless times already, every year he came for Christmas shopping, and to remember. This tradition had started with his mother taking him here, and every year they would pick a tie for his father as a Christmas gift. They hadn’t been ordinary ties, though. No, one year, Barry had chosen a blue tie with lots of yellow rubber ducks on it, another year, he had picked a rainbow colored one, looking absolutely ridiculous. But still, Henry Allen had smiled every time and wore them every year around the holiday.

After his mother had died and his father had been sent to prison, Barry hadn’t wanted to go to another Christmas market at all. However, Iris had been all herself and literally tricked him into coming with her. And he had found he actually still enjoyed Christmas markets, although with the familiar, dull pain. But Barry was remembering her mother, and this revisiting every year was one way to honor her memory.

And then there was Len. From time to time, Barry shot a glance sideways, eyeing the other man curiously. At first, Len had pretended that he didn’t even want to be here, sulking and looking grumpy to prove his point. But even his willpower wasn’t strong enough to stay immune to the magic that radiated from this Christmas market and Barry found him looking around, his head nearly spinning, trying to look at every market stall there was, taking everything in he saw.

And it was, indeed, pretty magical. The Christmas market looked like Santa himself had used some decorations from Christmas town and hung them up here. All the small huts were decorated with holly, sometimes fairy lights, and baubles. Some had fake snow and icicles hanging from the roof (unnecessary now that it actually snowed) and others again looked like gingerbread houses. They were selling all different kinds of things, self-made liqueur, knitted mittens and socks, jewelry (although nothing of it was nearly as expensive and valuable as the stuff Captain Cold usually stole), pottery products, and many other things.

But the most of them sold food: food from different countries, baked goods, traditional things, sweets, glühwein, everything. Barry could already feel his mouth water. He and his mom used to try nearly every single dish offered, and after their trip to their Christmas market, they’d come home, incredibly stuffed with food, but content.

Barry glanced at Len again, who was still looking around him in awe.

“You like it here?” he asked and smirked as he saw something like a childish happiness in Len’s eyes which he tried to hide under simple amusement.

“It’s not bad,” he answered, but by the cracked smile, Barry knew that Len actually liked it more than he would ever admit.

Barry smiled at him. “Alright, then, come on, you haven’t even seen the best part yet.”

He took Len by his arm, but before they had come very far, Len stopped to halt, motioned Barry to wait and came back a minute later with two steaming cups of glühwein in his hands.

“Cheers,” he said as he offered one to Barry. “I mean, what would be a Christmas market without this stuff?”

Barry laughed as Len carefully sipped from his cup and immediately cursed under his breath from burning his tongue on the hot beverage.

“Careful, Len, those things tend to be rather hot.”

“I’ve noticed,” he growled and Barry only laughed more.

“Alright, come on, Cold, let’s keep going, I need to show you my favorite part of the market.”

Slowly, they made their way forwards, but the street was crowded, and the people tended to walk slowly, taking their time with their Christmas shopping.

At some point, Len linked his arm with Barry’s. He tried to ignore briefly what effect it had on him. Now was definitely not a good time to swoon just because the Flash had a crush on Captain Cold, not when there were so many people around and Len was now so close Barry could smell his cologne. And surely Len had done only this to make sure he wouldn’t get lost in the crowd, a crowd full of people who could still recognize him. But when they walked like this, they looked like a couple, and nobody would look their way too exactly, so it was safe and they could enjoy their evening. Or dinner date. Whatever.

But it surely wasn’t because Len seemed to like Barry, too. Nope, definitely not. Couldn’t be.

It took them a few minutes in which they both walked quietly, arms still linked and occasionally sipping from their glühwein, trying not to spill anything until they read the street Barry was heading for. It was a little less full of people here, and there was enough space for the two of them to walk without having to fear to bump into anyone. The surroundings had changed, and the decorations were different. Instead of everything being covered in holly and angels and red baubles, this part of the market was kept in a medieval touch: small bonfires in large metal barrels, spending both a soft light and warmth. People dressed in medieval clothes, looking like merchants or town people, were hurrying around, talking to each other from the different stalls, or simply trying to advertise their products. There was a group of four people gathered on a small stage, playing on traditional instruments and giving all around a Christmas-y but also medieval ambiance.

“So this is your favorite part about the Christmas market?” Len asked amused, his gaze focused on Barry while the younger man had been looking around eagerly.

“Yeah. I mean, it’s not that typical for a Christmas market, but my mom took me here when I was a child, because over there,” he pointed vaguely to the end of the street, “there is, like, a small zoo with sheep and camels. On time, there even was an ox! They kind of represent Jesus’ crèche from the bible.” He shrugged. “And I love this whole medieval thing.”

“My, Barry, I never thought you were the type for roleplay.” He chuckled and threw him a suggestive glance, his eyebrows raised.

“I – urgh, that’s not what I meant! Why does this sound like a sexual innuendo coming from your mouth?”

“Maybe,” Len answered and leaned closer towards Barry, his lips so near his ear he could feel the other man’s breath on his skin, “because I intended it to sound like that.”

Barry shivered slightly but not from the cold outside. He got goosebumps all over his skin, and both his heart and stomach gave a simultaneous flip. He turned his head to look Len in the eyes, trying to look all set and not as if he had to try very hard right now to fight down the images and thoughts in his mind that had come up with Len’s response.

But Len was even closer than Barry had expected, and he found himself staring at his lips, at those full, somehow very soft looking lips. Lips that looked like as if they were made for kissing.

Barry gulped, and tore his eyes away, forcing himself to focus on Lens eyes rather on those unfair lips. The blue of the other man’s eyes was glowing, darker than usual, his pupils dilated.

The air between them seemed electrified, and for a few seconds, they just kept staring at each other. After a moment, Len chuckled in a low voice and broke away to bring a little more space between them.

Barry let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Alright, then. Let’s go and find something to eat, shall we?”

Barry nodded and let himself drag along by Len this time, their arms still linked.

“Any recommendations?” Len asked him.

“Um, there’s this one thingy that tastes really, really good, it’s somewhere around here. It’s like flatbread, stuffed with mushrooms and salad and tomatoes and hempseed. It’s just delicious. Usually, I’m getting it every time I’m here.”

“Alright then, let’s find that place and see if it can challenge the food from our last date.”

Barry just nodded again in response, unable to speak. _Date_. Len had called it a date. Not just a dinner date like earlier this evening, but a plain, right date.

He could feel the butterflies in his stomach throw a party.

They didn’t have to walk long until Barry found the market stall selling this delicious flat cake. The queue in front of the stall was pretty long, eight to ten people at least were already waiting until their order was taken, but Barry didn’t mind. This was worth waiting for.

He tugged Len along in the queue who protested a little after he saw the long line, but gave in when Barry threw him an annoyed glance, silently reminding him of the promise he got to choose where they’d eat. When they were standing still like that, not really moving, Barry could feel the cold air creeping under his clothes and he couldn’t help but shiver. The snowflakes came down thicker now, and it seemed as if the temperature had fallen a few degrees, too.

“Cold, Barry?”

“Maybe a little,” he answered, his teeth clattering a little. “I guess you’re not?”

“The cold never bothered me anyway.”

“Did you – did you just quote _Frozen_?”

Len shrugged, and then he laughed at Barry’s incredulous face. “What? To my defense, Lisa made me watch it. She even got me an apron with Elsa on it which I’ll never wear and hid in the rearmost corner of my closet.”

Now it was Barry’s turn to laugh in glee. “This is just too good,” he responded teasingly and gave Len a cheeky smile. “Next time I’m over, I’ll find that thing.”

“Don’t you dare.” Len narrowed his eyes, and the expression on his face had turned stern. It didn’t have the expected effect on Barry, as the younger man only laughed more.

“Alright, I’ll behave. Although this is just pure gold.”

Len continued glaring at him.

Barry rolled his eyes and nudged Len in the side. “Okay, I won’t bring it up again, I promise.”

“You better don’t.” His voice sounded a little hard, but his expression had softened, and the small tension that had built up in Barry eased. He gave Len another smile which was returned, maybe with a grumpy expression, but still. Barry’s insides started to stir, feeling a warmth spreading. This was exactly the banter and teasing he loved so much, valued so much. This was why he couldn’t help but feel the butterflies in his stomach going crazy.

It didn’t take long now until it was their turn. As soon as they got their order, they moved away from the stalls and sat down on a park bench a little offside the road and the other market stalls. There was an overhead telephone cable hanging over their heads, decorated with a chain of lights, spending a cozy light. Together with the crackling of one of the small bonfires in front of them, they placed themselves on the bench and started to eat.

Barry fixed Len, waiting for his reaction. Of course, this didn’t go unnoticed and Len shook his head but took a bite anyway.

And of course, Barry had been right.

“Okay, this is really good,” Len commented, and Barry started grinning widely.

“Told you so.” Now, he started eating himself.

They were finished within a few minutes but none of them moved, both just staring into the air. They sat very close to each other, their thighs and arms touching, but none of them made an attempt to move away even so much as an inch.

“Well, this was nice. But I’m still kinda hungry. Do you have any other food you want me to try?” Len asked Barry, a small smirk on his lips again.

“Of course, there’s lots!” He looked at the other man but then leaned back a little as he saw the teasing smile. “Waaaait. Are you really hungry or do you just want to exploit the fact that I’m paying?”

Len let out a laugh again, and a genuine smile flashed across his face. “Maybe a little bit of both.”

“You’re unbelievable.” He chuckled and slowly rose up from the park bench. Unintentionally, he glanced upwards and stared at the sky which was illuminated by the chain lights. The snow was still falling down, the flakes now even a little larger than before. It looked so beautiful, the soft light, the dark night sky, and the snow down, covering the earth in its beautiful coat.

It was only by accident Barry looked closer at the lights and spotted the green plants hanging in regular gaps from the chain, one right above them.

“Mistletoes,” Len whispered, nearly inaudibly. Barry hadn’t realized that the other man had got up, too, but now, he was feeling his presence all too well. Despite his name, he could feel the warmth radiating from him, coming from standing so close to each other.

The speedster let his gaze drop, catching Len’s stare, hazel eyes meeting blue. And again, all so suddenly, the air felt charged again, as if Barry’s lightning streaks were floating beneath them, connecting them. None of them broke the eye contact, just staring at each other.

“Yeah,” Barry answered after forever.

The corners of Len’s mouth twitched at that statement.

And then, before Barry knew what was happening, he was leaning forward a little, just millimeters, antagonizing slow. They were standing so close now, their bodies were softly touching. Len leaned in a little, too, slowly drawing nearer. Their eyes were fixed on each other, looking each other, staring at each other.

And then, before Barry even could think about what was happening right now, their faces were so close he could make out every single one of Len’s lashes. He looked so handsome, his eyes like a glacier which was slowly melting, and he was just about to lose himself in them.

And then, after forever, he finally felt Len’s lips on his own. Those soft, warm lips, capturing his, holding him. In that moment, Barry felt like all he’d been waiting for in his life was now complete. Every missing puzzle piece put into place.

Every thought that had been searing in his mind, that this was all wrong and that he shouldn’t have such strong feelings for a criminal like Len, was shut up immediately. There were no words to describe how he felt, how the butterflies started a hot and quick tango dance when he felt the soft pressure of the other man’s lips on his own, consuming him, or how his heart was racing, how his skin was prickling, aching for more. And there was only one thought left to occupy his mind.

 _Len_.

This was right, oh, this was so right.

Way too soon, Len broke away again. Slowly, Barry opened his eyes and looked into Len’s. And he saw everything, every emotion Captain Cold had so carefully tried to hide behind his façade. There was affection, and warmth, and a tenderness that made Barry’s heart melt.

Before either of them could say anything, Barry leaned forward again, pressing his lips on Len’s. The other mean leaned in immediately, now carefully placing his hands on Barry’s hips, pulling him closer to his body. While the first kiss before had been chaste, sweet, almost careful, this one was different. It was full of all those emotions both of them had suppressed within the last weeks, filled with want, but never greedy. Len was kissing him carefully, not as if he was afraid of breaking him, but as if he wanted to cherish every single moment, every single second of that kiss.

His tongue dipped against Barry’s lip, almost shyly, as a silent question. Immediately, Barry opened his mouth and let him in. Their tongues met, and a firework of feelings and sensation exploded inside Barry. Nothing, no kiss he ever shared so far, not even with Iris on Earth-2 or in the erased timeline, no kiss he had shared with Patty came close to this. This kiss with Leonard Snart, of all people.

Barry let slip a quiet moan as he placed his own hands on Len’s neck and cupped his face, holding him, pulling him against himself gently. He didn’t want to let go, didn’t want those lips to leave his ever again. But of course, the moment came when they broke apart. They were holding each other and simply fixing each other with a burning gaze.

“Wow,” Barry breathed out, breaking the silence between them.

“That’s one way to describe it,” Len said, smiling.

“It’s just … wow. I’d never – I could never imagine to … ever do this. Not that this is a bad thing! I mean, I could never actually imagine that this would ever be a thing in general, that I’d get a chance to – to kiss you.” Naturally, he was blushing again.

Len eyed him curiously. “You thought about doing this before?”

Oh. Barry closed his eyes for a second. He shouldn’t have revealed that. “Um, yes, to be honest.” Heat crept up his cheeks again.

Len’s lips twitched to something between a smile and a smirk. “Interesting. And here I was thinking this was mostly one-sided.”

Barry eyed him curiously. “Seriously?”

“Seriously. How could I possibly know the Flash would fall for a crook like me?”

“Len, I know you’re a good man, so please stop telling yourself you’re not, because you really are. So … maybe it’s not so strange that this,” he gestured between them, his left hand however still on Len’s neck, “isn’t only one-sided.”

Len’s face now broke into a proper smile, lighting up in something like happiness. He leaned forward and pulled Barry towards him, pressing another kiss to his lips.

“You never fail to amaze me, Barry Allen,” he murmured as he rested his forehead shortly against Barry’s.

His chest was filled with a warmth, and in that exact moment, he felt so utterly happy like he hadn’t felt in a very long time. He pushed his luck and kissed Len, now the fourth time their lips were meeting. He was greeted by Len eagerly, and it took them some time to break apart again. But when they did, Barry felt as if he couldn’t stand properly, his knees trembling slightly and his head swimming.

Len smiled at him fondly, the ice in his eyes now completely molten. “Come on, Scarlet, let’s find something to eat. I was indeed serious when I said I’m still hungry.”

Barry only laughed. He linked his arms with Len’s again and tugged him forward.

“Come on, then. I’ll show you the yummiest things here.”

Len burst out laughing. “Yummiest?”

“Yeah, the … oh, shut up. Idiot.”

Len continued to laugh but pressed a soft kiss against Barry’s temple before he let himself drag along.

 

***

 

They had spent nearly three hours on the Christmas market, Barry trying nearly every single piece of snack he could find. Len had been full after their stop at the third stall but watched Barry amused whose appetite never seemed to be appeased.

Now, even Len was slightly freezing and a little tired on top. This had been a long day for him, after all, although this evening had been the best part of it. Definitely.

When he had gotten up in the morning, he’d never expected his day to end with kissing Barry, in public, and with Barry actually wanting this, too. Len had been suspicious before that the speedster liked him more than for his own good, but he hadn’t been entirely sure. But after their first kiss … the look in Barry’s eyes, the want, the affection, looking at Len as if he was his entire world, he knew. He had realized that he wasn’t the only one who was fucked up here, falling for a hero while he was a stone cold criminal, a goddamn thief.

But Barry, Barry was everything. He was light, he was hope, happiness, and joy. He was the Flash, a hero. A hero like him should’ve never fallen for someone damaged like Len, but he still did. And to be honest, Len wasn’t even a little sorry, not if that meant that Barry wanted to spend his time with him, accepting him into his life. And kissing him, obviously.

They were silently walking along the streets of the Christmas market, while Len tried not to glance over at his companion too often. This, however, was a hard task, since Barry looked so ridiculously good in his neat black coat and thick snowflakes being stuck in his hair. (Funny, how the snowflakes, the perfect representation of cold, lingering on his speedster, stuck with him.)

Barry yawned again. “Len, I thought maybe we could hit back, it’s quite late already.”

“If you can give us a lift again,” he smirked. The last time had been amazing, unbelievable actually. Moving at such a high velocity was incredible. Len could only imagine what it must feel like for Barry to run at this speed all the time, without a weight to carry, free to run wherever he wanted to. (And then after they had stopped, the feeling of having to vomit had come up in Len which was not so pleasant, but apart from that, it was amazing.)

Barry smiled and before Len knew, he had picked him up again and he felt the air rushing past them.

After a few seconds, it was already over again, and Barry put him down. Len clung onto Barry’s shoulder to regain his balance again. They were standing right in front of his apartment, Barry leaning against the doorframe and smirked.

“Better?” he asked with a coy smile on his face.

“I’ll get used to it.” He tilted his head a little and fixed Barry with his eyes. “So, Barry, you wanna come inside for a bit?” he asked, jerking his head towards his apartment. He wasn’t sure what it was that was between them, but it didn’t hurt to ask.

Barry’s features grew soft, and he smiled at him shyly. “Yes, I’d love that, Len.”

Len couldn’t help but smile himself. He fumbled his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door.

“After you.”

They went inside, and he closed the door carefully behind them. Barry was already putting his coat off and hung it on the coat rack next to the door, accidentally tearing his light jacket off as well, revealing a rather tight, gray plain shirt.

Len felt himself staring, unable to keep his eyes off Barry. He bit his lip, and before he could stop himself, he strode forward and pinned Barry between himself and the wall, cupping his face and kissing him fiercely. He could tell Barry was surprised, but he leaned into the kiss almost immediately, pulling Len close to himself by his belt loops.

This kiss was so different than those at the Christmas market. This was hot, passionate, but still full of feelings. Once again, Len felt overwhelmed with the whole situation: Barry, in his apartment, kissing him, being with him. This whole situation was so surreal, but by the way Barry was biting on his bottom lip, he knew that this, all this, was very real.

He let his right hand wander to Barry’s hair, grabbing strands, pulling softly while he pressed his body against Barry. And god, he was so warm, and he felt so good, so soft but also hard in exactly the right places. Barry’s hands wandered to Len’s back under his coat, carefully pushing it off of him. The next thing that was falling to the apartment floor was Len’s scarf, and immediately Barry’s hands were back on his back, pressing against him.

They continued like this for a few more moments, before both of them needed a break to breathe properly.

Barry grinned at him deviously. “Kinda could get used to this.”

Len laughed. “I’d be my pleasure to please your desires, Barry.”

Now Barry laughed, too, and his whole face lit up in joy. “You’re unbelievable.” He shook his head. This time, it was him who leaned forward, pressing his lips to Len’s. He felt a rush of wind, and in less than a blink, he felt himself being pressed against the wall.

“My, my, Barry.”

Barry smirked at him, only pulling away for a very short moment before he resumed their kiss.

Yes, Len could get used to this, too.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Their first kiss after half the half of the fic!! *cheers loudly*
> 
> Before I wrote this chapter I googled "Christmas markets in the USA" because I literally knew nothing about them there. The results were sites like "Best German Christmas markets in the US" and I was like ??? Okay ??? I didn't even know they were a German tradition! Anyway, so I decided to take the opportunity and described my favourite Christmas market here. If this description varies from how they are in the USA, then I'm sorry, but like I said, I didn't know anything about what they're like over there. (I haven't even been to the US yet ...)  
> I hope you liked it anyway :)
> 
> Another thing: when I started this fic, the average word counted was 3.5k. Now it's gone up to more than 6k ... I hope this isn't too long for one chapter? I'm not sure tbh ...
> 
> Anyway, I hope you liked that chapter and how I described Len's and Barry's first kiss. Let me know what you think!  
> Lots of kisses from me though to you since you all are so amazing! Thank you so much for all the comments and the feedback. ♥♥


	16. Something In Between

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While both Barry and Len are head over heels, insecurities are sure a part of it all, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It gets kitschier every time, idek

 

_“Would you settle down with me now and forever?” – Gentle Bones_

_  
_

Saturday, 9.15 am, St. Andrews’ Hospital

“He’s so amazing, Lise.”

Len rested his head on his hands with his elbows propped up on his thighs. After last night, he had felt the urgent need to visit his sister and tell her what had happened. He had never done this before, actually telling her about a lover he had, or not during the last two decades anyway, not after Nero. After that incident, he just hadn’t been able to form a real relationship with anyone, too scared his father could use them again, maybe even do them harm. Their blood would be on Len’s hands, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to handle even another victim, not if that person would be someone he truly loved and cared for.

Of course, he had had several lovers since, both male and female, but it had never been anything serious. Physical encounters, yes, and with some of them even more than once, but never more than that. He couldn’t allow himself that. Couldn’t allow himself to feel.

And yet now here he was, sitting beside his sister’s hospital bed and telling her about the previous night. He could never have imagined this to turn out like it had. Sure, Len had been aware of Barry’s attraction towards him, even considering the fact that Barry seemed to be flustered every time he was around him, yet he could never have imagined that the younger man had actual feelings for Len … It seemed almost impossible. And yet.

“He’s … he’s like light. Like pure joy, and he’s so trusting, so goddamn _good_. He’s way too good for me. I don’t know how I deserve someone like him.”

And it was true. After all, Len was a criminal, and he had hurt Barry in the past, and his friends, and many, many other people. And yet the speedster seemed to have decided to ignore that.

Once again, Len wished his sister would be awake and not in a coma. He wanted to really tell her all about Barry, everything. Although he hated to admit it, but he needed her advice. He and Barry had kissed, yes, but so had Len and a young woman a few months ago before he had taken her to a hotel room he had rented for the night. And that hadn’t meant anything, it had been just pure lust driving him (and obviously her, too).

With Barry however … it hadn’t been lust, nor had it been simple desire, not for Len at least. The moment he had felt Barry’s lips on his own, he knew that this, this simple and chaste kiss with no other than Barry Allen, Central City’s greatest hero, was all he needed and all he wanted. He hadn’t felt those feelings for a very long time, not after he had banned them from his heart, trained himself to be emotionless and never ever let someone new in. But Barry went right under his skin, his soft eyes that sometimes had this puppy dog look that made Len want to do everything the speedster said, this fluffy hair, this gorgeous smile.

This gorgeous man.

And yet, he still didn’t know what exactly they were. Were they lovers? Or had this been on a one-off basis? They hadn’t talked about it yet, and knowing Barry their next meeting would be connected with a lot of blushing from Barry’s side.

Still, the possibility that they were more than just occasional partners for a make out session, maybe even something like boyfriends, set free a feeling inside of Len. His chest seemed to swell with warmth and he literally felt as if his heart was melting.

“What has he done to me,” Len groaned, burying his face deeper in his hands, not looking at Lisa although he knew she wouldn’t look at him anyway.

“You’re in love,” his sister’s voice rang in his ears, her image conjuring up in front of his closed eyes. She was eyeing him, a sly smile on her face with that knowing look on her face. “You know that, right?”

“Of course I know that. I just can’t because I’m not a good person, and I will hurt him eventually. People like me don’t get a happy ending.”

Maybe Len had wanted to ruin Barry in the beginning, seeing how far he could push the Flash. It would have been perfect, the perfect way to take down his enemy. But those thoughts had vanished ever since Ferris Air when Barry had asked for his help. To see _Barry_ coming to him for help, not the Flash, had set something free in him and turned his obsession over him in something else, something Lisa and Mick always loved to describe as a crush.

And now … now it was so much more. So much more than a simple crush. He could never, ever, under no condition, let any harm to this kid. He was too pure, too precious. And the feelings Len felt for him, he couldn’t find any other words.

He let out a sigh. He couldn’t do it, just couldn’t. The only wise decision was to call the whole plan off, making sure Barry’d be safe. But then, Barry would never be safe, not after –

“Mr. Smith?”

Len whirled around, his senses on high alert. His shoulders tensed, his hands automatically reaching towards the gun hidden in the waistband of his jeans.

False alarm. It was just the doctor, the one who was responsible for Lisa’s recovery. Len told himself to relax and made a nonchalant face.

“Yes, Doc?”

“You alright today? I realized you’ve come visiting her often lately. She’ll be fine, I promise.”

“Yes, I know. I just needed to see her. I know you can do your job alright.”

The doctor nodded and stepped inside tentatively. He walked forwards until he was standing at the foot of Lisa’s bed, still keeping his cautious distance towards Len. As far as he knew, no one had recognized him yet, although he never thought that simply wearing a pair of glasses and a beanie would make such a difference. Secretly, he found it fascinating that Central’s citizens only seemed to recognize one of their villains when he was dressed up in his cold gear. But like this, just wearing normal clothes, they seemed completely oblivious to who was standing in front of them.

“We,” the doctor started slowly, cautious as if he was careful not to annoy Len or make him angry (or sad the sociable part of his brain told him, because why should that man be afraid of him?), “we think that we can definitely wake her up once the next year begins. It’s probably for her best to let her sleep during the Christmas days, she needs the extra time. But all the tests we ran so far were good, and we’re positive she’s on a good way to recovery.”

“Thanks, doc.”

“And, um, after she’s awake, we can discuss with her what treatments she wants to undergo, maybe some plastic surgeries, or maybe even none at all. I guess she hasn’t left any kind of will in case of getting burned by something so extremely cold?”

Len immediately tensed. He knew this was supposed to be a joke, but the truth was, Lisa once even suggested to leave her will and what she wants to happen to her body in case something similar happened. He let out a hollow laugh, trying to push away the memory. He could still hear his sister’s bright laugh at the face Len had made after her suggestion, and hear himself asking her if she really thought that he could ever hurt her.

“No, she hasn’t,” he replied, his voice a little icier than before.

The doctor nodded and offered Len a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry. She’ll be okay again.”

The corners of Len’s mouth twitched before he nodded shortly. The doctor gave him a last smile and then left the room, leaving Len and Lisa alone again.

Len turned to his sister, staring at her, trying to take this image in. She did, in fact, look way better than three weeks ago. She wasn’t as pale anymore, let alone blue. Her skin was slowly starting to get its usual glow back. The bruises on her arms and the left side of her face have healed so far, there weren’t even yellow patches left. The dark, black skin on her arms had peeled off completely, the new skin now shone in a baby pink color.

Len sighed. Yes, she was healing. But this still was his fault. Although Lisa had meant the insurance against frostbites and burns from his gun not serious and only as a joke, this was now the case. She was here because of him. It was his fault.

Almost instantly, an image of Barry conjured up in his mind, Barry looking at him with wide eyes full of sympathy. His voice rang in Len’s ears; this soft tone Len grew to like so much. “It’s not your fault,” he said. “You didn’t shoot her.”

And the way the Barry in his mind said that Len could almost believe it. Just almost.

Carefully, he caressed his sister’s hair, before he finally got up from the chair.

“I’ll tell you more about him next time,” he said to her with affection in his voice. “You have to meet him. Although this is probably not such a good idea, but … I know you’ll like him.”

“Do you love him?” Lisa’s voice rang in his ear. This would have been the immediate question she would have asked him if she had been awake.

Len looked at her, and images of Barry flashed across his mind. Every moment they have spent together over the last few weeks, Barry laughing, Barry smiling at him, Barry kissing him. Len’s insides grew warm, almost hot, his heart was thumping faster than before. He felt his mouth twitch up into a real smile, not his usual smirk he loved to display.

“Yes, I think I do. And that’s why I can’t do it. He needs to be safe.”

Lisa’s voice in his head remained silent this time.

Len let out yet another sigh before he turns around and left the room, making his way downstairs and out of the hospital.

Yes, maybe he loved Barry, in his own special way. But hey, after nearly five decades of living, wasn’t he entitled to love someone? Why was it he never got the happy ending? With Barry, he was happy, more than that. With Barry, he felt like he could be himself. The man knew both sides of him, the few good traits (very few, to be honest) as well as the bad. He knew Len was a criminal, had always been his whole life. He knew Len came from a family of criminals, and he knew what Len has done in his past. And still, he seemed to choose him despite all that.

Maybe that’s why he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t let any harm to him, to his speedster, his hero. But in the end, Len would break him, he simply knew that. There just wasn’t a future where they could be happy, not with Nero still there, trying everything to ruin Len’s life. Trying to take everything good away from him.

When he arrived at his apartment, he finally told himself to stop thinking of such gloom thoughts. They had a little time together after all, and he might as well enjoy it. Barry had promised last night to come over again, and the kiss he had given Len the second before he had left, filled with electricity Len could literally feel the spark, had been a promise enough. Promise enough that this all wasn’t just some one-time-thing. Promise enough that they could be more, even if it was just for a while.

 

 

11.30 am, The West’s house

Happily, Barry rolled over in his bed. After what felt like forever, he had his first weekend off, no one interrupting his sleep, no Joe with a new crime scene Barry had to go to as a CSI, nor any Flash duty he had to fulfill. For the first time in forever, he got to sleep late.

The sun was creeping through the curtains, lighting his room. It was unusually bright inside, normally this time of the year, the sunbeams never gave off so much power.

Tiredly, Barry rubbed his eyes and pushed the blanket off him. As soon as he left the coziness of his bed, he was hit by a wave of cold once again. Obviously, he had forgotten again to close the windows before he had fallen asleep last night. But then again, it had indeed been pretty late, and when Barry had finally managed to leave Len and go home, he had felt like he was high on drugs, high on the kisses he and Len had shared. Now as he thought about it again, he could feel Len’s lips on his, only faint, like a ghost of what had happened. He could feel the soft trace of Len’s fingers down his sides, the soft pressure against his back when he had tried to pull him closer.

Maybe a little too fiercely, Barry closed his window. During the night, it had snowed a lot. The lawn outside was covered in at least five inches of the white, sparkling blanket, coating everything outside and turning the world into Winter Wonderland.

Barry toddled back to his bed, still a little sleepy. Absently, he rubbed his eyes before he scrambled under his blanket again, thinking about Len.

Although they surely had been making out in Len’s apartment later after they had left the Christmas market, Barry still wasn’t entirely sure what it was between them. Not that he necessarily wanted to label it, he just didn’t like the uncertainty. It felt as if their … relationship was floating in the air, whatever it was. His whole life had had been full of uncertainties: Iris and his father were amongst those, just to name a few of them.

Now Len and Barry definitely weren’t enemies anymore (or maybe enemies with benefits?). But somehow, they weren’t just friends, either. No, there were too many emotions behind all that, too many emotions in the kisses they shared. The way Len had kissed him, hold onto him, the way Len had looked at him whenever he thought Barry wasn’t looking, were evidence enough. To him, Barry wasn’t just some easy way to satisfy his desire, as well as Len was definitely way more than that for Barry.

But they weren’t exactly boyfriends, either. Or at least they hadn’t called it that.

Carefully, Barry extended his arm and searched for his phone on the nightstand. The clock told him it was nearly noon, so time to get up. He could already feel his stomach complaining about the lack of food.

Slowly, he put on some comfortable clothes and made his way downstairs. He was halfway down the stairs when he met Iris, wearing a large sweater with snowflakes knitted in and a pair of black trousers. In her hand, she was carrying a large mug.

“Barry!” She smiled brightly at him and handed him the mug that turned out to be containing coffee. “You’re awake! Did you sleep well?” She turned around and together, they made their way down and went into the kitchen.

“Yeah, I did,” Barry answered while taking large sips out of his cup. The caffeine instantly kicked in, and once again Barry felt affection rush through him. Somehow, Iris always seemed to know what he needed.

Yet, exactly in this moment, he realized what he was feeling for her right now, was completely different to all the feelings he had for Len. He loved Iris. But somehow, this was different, so different. This was the kind of love you feel for someone who is family. Iris was his sister, by all means, and the love he felt was just a brotherly love.

If someone had told him he would ever love Iris just a sister, he’d laughed at their face. But right in this moment, he felt the rush of feelings again he had felt last night when Len’s lips had met his. When his whole body had started to prickle, goosebumps everywhere, when his stomach felt like it was melting. This had been so different to this kind of affection he had for Iris.

If someone had told him he would ever fall in love with no one other than Leonard Snart, he would have laughed at them. But now, it was real. And they were real.

“Barry? Barry, you okay?”

Iris snapped her fingers in front of his eyes, her brows furrowed in concern.

“Wha– yeah, I’m okay, more than okay.” He couldn’t help but smile brightly.

The concern on Iris’ face turned into curiosity. “Anything you wanna tell me about?”

“Um, no, not really, I mean, everything’s normal?”

“Normal, huh? Then why did Cisco tell me you were with your _friend_ again?” Now, a sly smile had crept onto her lips.

“I was with him, yeah, but why should that be not normal?” He rubbed the back of his neck, nervousness slightly creeping in. Iris would find out, she was too curious to simply not to. Barry’s cheeks heated up a little.

“Come on, I know there’s something. It’s as plain as the nose on your face.”

Barry took the coffee pot which stood on the counter and refilled his cup. In extra slow human pace, he added a little milk, focusing hard on what he was doing. “Um, no? I mean, what should be off?”

“Barry.”

He turned around and looked at his sister. Iris was now standing there with her hands on her hips and a look on her face as if she knew exactly what he had been doing and what has been going on.

“You know I can tell when you’re lying.”

He sighed. Of course he knew. “Look, Iris, it’s just … you wouldn’t approve. No one would.”

“If he’s making you happy, then I don’t care. Why should I have something against him? I haven’t even met him yet.”

Oh, you have, Barry thought absently. He threw a glance over at the mantelpiece of the chimney, and the armchair standing on the left side of their table. On the armchair where last Christmas, Leonard Snart had been sitting, waiting for Barry to get home and tell him about how Mark Mardon broke him and James Jesse out to kill Barry. Even then, Len had warned him, making sure nothing would happen to him even though he’d have it so much easier to rob the city when Barry was away. Had he cared about Barry already then? Or did he just want to make it even between them after Team Flash had saved Lisa’s life?

“But still. You’d kill me if you knew. Besides, he’s, um, maybe he’s a little older than me?”

Iris raised her eyebrows. “How much?”

“Maybe sixteen years?” Carefully not to meet her eye, he sipped his coffee again.

“Ohh, Barry! I didn’t know you had a thing for older guys!” she teased him, poking him playfully in the side. “Okay, maybe I should’ve known since you and Captain Cold are always flirting with each other when he’s robbing a bank.”

Instead of blushing, all the blood drained from his face. “What – no, Iris, I’m not flirting with Captain Cold!”

No, you’re secretly kissing him in his apartment, a deceitful voice said in his mind.

“Come on, you know I’m only joking.” She poked him again, but then pulled him into a warm hug. “At least I’m glad you found someone who makes you happy.”

When she let go, she looked at him, fiercely, with an analyzing expression in her eyes. “Um, but Barry, since when do you like guys anyway? I’m not judging or anything, you just never told me before.”

Barry sighed. “That’s because he’s the first guy I ever liked that way. Before, I never even realized … I know, it’s weird. But I guess he’s something special.” A fond smile stole on his face when he thought of Len. How special he really was, how unique. And how unique _they_ were.

“Okay, then, maybe you can tell me what he’s like if you don’t wanna spill the name?”

“He’s a little sarcastic sometimes. No, not sometimes, he usually is. But that kind of makes him really funny. He always makes those silly puns that annoyed the hell out of me at first, but now … I don’t know, I guess they’re something I really love about him. And he’s so caring, god, you should see how much he cares about his little sister. He’s … he kind of has this bad boy image, but inside, he’s such a sweet and good guy. After you get behind his icy exterior, there’s a really amazing person hiding.” Barry sighed while taking out a bowl and a pack of muesli out of the cupboard. “He’s like a storm that came into my life.”

“Wow. Sounds like you’re really in love with him.”

“Yeah.” He nodded absently, his thoughts dwelling on Len once again. But he quickly reminded himself not to let his mind wander and stay focused in the present. “Oh, and he’s really good looking,” he added.

Iris laughed loudly, causing Barry to chuckle himself. But it was true, Len was indeed very handsome. And caring, and sweet, and funny in his sarcastic way.

“Are you seeing him again today?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Barry answered shyly. He had promised Len last night, just before he had left to go home, that he’d stop by again today. The idea alone of getting to spend time with him, and maybe continue where they left off sent a prickling anticipation through him, and his stomach was swarming with over-excited butterflies.

Iris laughed again. “Alright, then go out and have fun and let me prepare the lunch now, alright?”

Barry nodded and went to leave the kitchen. “Oh, and Iris? Thank you, for, you know, everything.”

She smiled fondly at him. “You’re welcome, Barry.”

He offered her a last smile before he sped upstairs to grab his phone and opened the box with Len’s name.

 _You want me to come over later?_ he texted. Sure, he had asked, and Len had seemed very keen on the idea last night, but he still wanted to make sure.

It didn’t even take five minutes for Len to reply: _Of course. When are you free?_

_Around four?_

_That’s perfect._

Barry smiled before he typed in his response. _Alright, see you then._ _:-)_

_Looking forward to it, Scarlet._

Barry smiled at his phone once again before he tossed it onto his bed and made his way to the bathroom. Downstairs, he could hear Wally and Joe stomp into the house, complaining loudly about the freezing temperature, Iris telling him off for bringing all the snow inside and Wally laughing about the fact that Iris was now taking in the habits of the controlling parent.

So this was now his life. Being the Flash, a CSI, having a loving family. And secretly dating one of Central City’s most wanted criminals.

It wasn’t so bad after all.

 

 

4.07 pm, Leonard’s apartment

Barry didn’t know exactly what to expect when he went over at Len’s. Before he had started running off, he had been pretty confident about it. But now, as he was standing in front of the apartment door, there were suddenly a thousand questions in his head. Did he look okay like that? How should he greet him? Just saying hi? What would they do now?

Before he could muster the courage and knock, the door was pulled open.

“Jesus Christ, Barry, I can feel your nervous energy even through the door.”

Len was standing in the frame, casually dressed in (surprise!) all black clothing. He rolled his eyes in played annoyance, but the way he flashed Barry a smirk, he knew he wasn’t really annoyed. He moved sideways and Barry entered the familiar apartment.

“Uh. Sorry. Guess I just didn’t know what to, ah, do once I get inside,” he said while toeing his shoes off and hanging his winter coat on the clothes rack. Being truthful was a good thing, right?

“Already regretting last night?”

“No, no, no, definitely not. I just, I don’t know, simply didn’t know what to expect?”

Len led out a chuckle and stepped forward a little. Barry was still standing in the middle of the hallway between the couch and the door.

The other man was standing closer now, so close he could see the small stubble on his chin. The way he eyed Barry with his head tilted a little sideways, his eyes sharp with a predatory gleam in his eyes, he could feel the all too familiar blush creep up his cheeks. But he also could help but feel the heat rush to other places in his body.

“Then you don’t mind me kissing you hello, do you?”

“Not at all.”

And then he felt Len’s lips on his again. And _god_ , how he had missed it. Those hot, soft lips, pulling at him, capturing his own, those lips that fitted so perfectly. He found his hands around Len’s neck, one hand cupping his face while Len held him around the waist.

Way too soon in his opinion, Len pulled away.

“Well, hello, Barry, it’s nice to see you.”

“Yeah, nice to see you, too,” he answered a little breathless what earned a small smile from Len.

Len let out a chuckle before he placed a kiss on Barry’s cheek and let him step inside properly.

“So, what do you want to do tonight?” he asked while Len went to the kitchen to boil himself a cup of tea.

Barry followed him shyly into the kitchen and leaned against the counter next to him, only a few inches separating them. He started fidgeting with the hem of his white tee nervously and looked up, meeting Len’s gaze. “Or, I mean do you have any plans?”

The other man looked back at Barry in amusement, his lips twitching into something between a smile and a smirk. “I don’t know, we could watch a movie, or go to the cinema, or go have dinner, or cook dinner ourselves, or just make out … Whatever you want.”

“Cooking dinner and making out sounds good to me.”

Len chuckled at this. He pulled Barry towards him and took him in his arms, just staring at him for a moment. Barry’s heart seemed to stop, his breath stuck. The touch of Len’s hands on his waist together with that gleam of both desire and affection in his eyes burned into his mind, made his heart flutter once he was over the initial shock of Len being so straight forward (and his own shockingly straightforward answer).

Carefully, he placed one hand on the back of Len’s neck and the other on his cheek, slowly pulling them closer until Len finally sealed their lips.

And this kiss was just as amazing as those before. Only this time, he could feel Len’s eagerness, the tight but not unpleasant grip on his waist. Almost immediately, Barry leaned in, deepening their kiss. And god, this was so good. It felt so good, so _right_. Len’s hands wandered from Barry’s hips to his back, slowly, and almost tentatively, as if he wanted to make sure this was okay for him. The trace of Len’s long, elegant fingers burned into Barry’s skin, leaving goosebumps everywhere.

And yes hell, this was more than okay with Barry. He let his tongue flicker against Len’s lip in response, carefully, asking for permission which was granted immediately. And when their tongues met, their kiss turned sloppier with a side of desperation. Barry tightened his grip, and before he could think this through, he flipped them over, Len pinned between the kitchen counter and himself.

“You wanna continue this somewhere more comfortable?” Len asked as he pulled away shortly, his lips parted.

Barry only nodded shortly, and flashed both of them to Len’s bedroom, placing them on the large bed with Len underneath him, their legs tangled and their bodies touching nearly everywhere.

“I see your speed has its perks,” Len teased before he resumed their kiss. This time, he pressed Barry tightly against him, his hands warm against his back. One hand found Barry’s hair, and the other wandered over his back once more.

With every second passing, Barry felt as if he was growing more sensitive to Len’s touches, and harder with every second as well. His cock was pressed against Len’s thigh, and he himself could feel Len’s own hardness against him. Len’s fingers found the hem of Barry’s tee, and before he could even react, Len flipped them over, now straddling Barry. His fingers traced the skin underneath his shirt, and shit, his skin felt electrified. The touch alone let Barry shiver, and when Len moved from his lips to his neck, at first softly kissing but then sucking on his skin, Barry couldn’t help it anymore. His body started to vibrate, Len kissing and touching him all too much.

“Whoa.”

Oh, shit. He hadn’t warned Len about this. “Sorry, I should’ve told you. Sometimes, when I get excited, I, um, vibrate.” Of course, he was blushing again. He felt embarrassed about it a little.

“You – _vibrate_?”

“I’m sorry, if it bothers you, I can suppress it most of the times, don’t worry about it.”

Len’s eyes widened a little. “Oh, no, Scarlet, don’t you dare to suppress that. This – have you any idea how good this just felt?”

Barry frowned and threw Len a questioning look.

“Obviously you don’t. Trust me, this vibrating – it may or not may be one of the best things I’ve ever felt while making out with someone.”

The feeling of embarrassment shifted. Instead, a confident smile crept up Barry’s face. “Yeah? You like it?” He let his body vibrate again, now letting his fingers glide under Len’s sweater as well.

And as if Len’s now nearly black eyes weren’t telling enough, pupils so blown with lust, he lowered his head again, pressing his lips to Barry’s, his tongue demanding for entry. The speedster let out a small chuckle, shortly capturing Len’s bottom lip with his teeth before resuming their kiss. He had never thought that this part of him would turn out to be something good.

When he had been with Linda or Patty, he had had a hard time to try and suppress it, knowing that if he wouldn’t they would find out about his identity. They would know, and Barry had to try and avoid it, sometimes not being completely able to enjoy the make-out sessions and the sex, having focus too much on his self-control. But now, when he was with Len who not only knew he was the Flash but also seemed to enjoy this part of Barry, he didn’t need to control his actions. Now, he was able to be himself, and only let his emotions and desire drive him.

Len’s lips had found Barry’s neck again, sucking and biting the sensitive skin. He let out a gasp because, _wow_ , this felt good. More heat rushed towards his cock, only hardening more against the tight fabric of his jeans. He dug his fingernails into Len’s skin, moaning quietly.

“God, Scarlet,” Len let out breathlessly. Suddenly, he pulled Barry upwards into a sitting position. He started pulling Barry’s shirt over his head, but before it was off completely off, he threw him a last questioningly look, asking for permission.

As if this wasn’t okay with Barry. He gave a short nod, and his shirt landed on the floor. Not even a second after, Len’s sweater followed suit.

Len’s expression turned from hot and lustful to amazed. His eyes traced body once more, following the lines of Barry’s muscles, all the way down to the obvious bulge in his pants. When his blue eyes meet Barry’s again, it wasn’t just lust in them, but so deep affection Barry’s stomach gave jolt and his insides started swarming. With a hand in Barry’s hair, he pulled him into another kiss again, lowering both of them, pressing Barry into the mattress.

But soon, Len pulled away again, just looking at Barry, his eyes wandering over his body and his fingers tracing his skin in a caution as if Barry was something precious and Len couldn’t believe he got to touch him.

Barry smiled, his own hands firm on Len’s back, exactly where he supposed the phoenix’s wings were. Underneath his fingers, he could feel every unevenness of Len’s skin, every scar the other man had covered up with his tattoo. Some of them were large, others small, but they were countless in number. He didn’t even bother to try and count them, part of him not even wanting to imagine how many times Lewis Snart must have hit his son.

But Barry wasn’t repelled by them, in fact, the opposite was true. Every scar told a story, and he cherished every one of them, now running his thumb over a particularly large one. He knew Len was a strong man with a dark history. And he felt special that Len let him touch him like that, letting him in, sharing this.

“You’re so gorgeous, Barry,” Len whispered. “How come I deserve someone like you?”

“I’m not that amazing, you know.”

Len closed his eyes and shook his head. “You are. Trust me.” He opened his eyes again, and this expression of utter affection was back. Slowly, he demounted Barry, laying down next to him. The speedster furrowed his brows at the loss of contact, his lips forming a small pout.

This caused Len to chuckle. Placing a kiss on top of Barry’s hairline, he pulled him into his arms, and Barry rested his head on Len’s chest.

“Don’t get me wrong, Scarlet, I do want this. I just don’t think we should do that so soon.”

“Yeah,” Barry admitted, “you’re right.” Especially since they hadn’t exactly sorted out what this thing between them was. Not that Barry expected it to be love, no. He knew better than to think of sex and love as equal, he knew the difference. Still, he hoped that this wasn’t just some physical thing since it definitely wasn’t for him.

He let himself relax against Len’s chest, the pressure in his pants slowly starting to get less. A small debate in his head rose. Should he ask Len what they were? Where their relationship could lead to, whatever it was right now? What if Len told him he was just some fuck-buddy to him? A part of him wasn’t sure how to react if that would be the case, wasn’t sure if he could continue on this basis.

After a few seconds, however, the braver part of him won.

“Len?” Barry asked, his fingers now trailing over Len’s naked torso, following the lines of his tattoos and abs, down to his small tummy, one of the very few indications of Len’s age. But Barry wasn’t bothered by it, definitely not. “Can I ask you a question?”

“You just did.”

Barry rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I meant apart from that.”

“Of course.”

“What … what exactly is it between us?” He held his breath. This now could be the moment. Nervousness crept in, and suddenly Barry felt like this hadn’t been a good idea.

Len hesitated. “What do you want it to be?”

“I – well, I get if this, if it’s just a physical thing for you. And that’s okay, really! I just … I just wondered what exactly it _is_ for you? Because to be honest, I don’t know how to interpret the whole situation.”

Len didn’t respond immediately. Barry tilted his head so he could look the other man into the eyes, realizing the other was already gazing at him. Their eyes locked, and carefully, Len answered. “For the record, Barry: I don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with. If you want to keep this merely sexual, that’s fine by me. But–” he paused, taking a deep breath. Barry could feel his shoulders tense. “I did wonder if we could be more than this. I do get it wouldn’t be easy. We’re from two completely different worlds. You’re a hero, and I’m pretty much the opposite. But that still doesn’t keep me from caring about you, a lot, and maybe even hoping that this isn’t just some occasional satisfaction of our more animalistic desires.”

Barry’s eyes widened. Did he really just – “So you saying you want us to be more? Like, I don’t know, partners? Or lovers, or boyfriends?”

“I fully understand if you wouldn’t like that. We can keep it sexual if that’s what you want.”

Barry let out a laugh of relief. Len wanted this, wanted them to be a thing. Wanted them to be in a relationship of some sort, be more. He liked Barry, cared, even. “Len, I’d love us to be more than just sex-buddies.”

A smile, a real and genuine smile spread across Len’s face. “Barry Allen,” he started, “I have a question for you.”

“Okay?”

“Do you want me to be your boyfriend, fully aware that I’m sixteen years older than you and a criminal, that your friends won’t approve of me, let alone your foster father? That you can get into trouble at your work if someone finds out?” His voice sounded dramatic, and he had a playful expression on his face. But when Barry looked into his eyes, he could see how serious he was about it.

“Hell, yes, I do. I mean, sure, it’s not gonna be easy. There is stuff we have to talk about, like, all the Rogues and Flash business, and we’ll probably have to keep it secret, at least for a while now. But I do want this.”

If possible, the smile on Len’s face grew even wider, and something like hope settling in his eyes. He pulled Barry towards him and sealed their lips. Their kiss was full of emotions as if he was trying to put everything unsaid in it, trying to convey his feelings that way. Barry’s stomach fluttered, his heart beat so fast like it hadn’t in a long time. Len had asked him out, really asked him out. As if they were two normal people. He wanted this, too.

After a while, they pulled away, Barry laying across Len’s chest and Len’s arms still around him, holding him close. They looked into each other’s eyes, the air between them nearly crackling with lightning from the tension and all the feelings that were floating in the air.

“So … boyfriends?” Barry asked.

“Boyfriends,” Len agreed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo ... I've officially run out of already-written chapters :)) But don't worry, I'll try to keep updating regularly at least for the next three times. After that, I'll have a lot of class tests to write but I'll try my best. Maybe I can write a few chapters in advance during the holidays now :) I hope you liked it anyway (and hopefully it's not too cheesy). xxxx


	17. Things Left Unsaid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things That Could Cause Trouble: Part Four.

 

_“You should never ever trust my kind. I’m a wanted man.” – Royal Deluxe_

 

Saturday, 10 am, Leonard’s apartment

Waking up next to Barry was one of the most amazing things in the world, Len decided.

It has been a week now since their game-changing first kiss on the Christmas market, and their talk the day later. It has been a whole week since Barry Allen had agreed to be his boyfriend. A part of Len’s brain still couldn’t accept it, yet the knowledge of seeing his speedster every evening of the week, feeling his hands on his body, feeling Barry’s skin under his fingers, his lips on his own, and now the very real feeling of Barry’s body pressed against his, convinced him. He hadn’t fucked it up yet, and Barry hadn’t pushed him away yet. Although Len could never imagine in what universe he deserved someone like Barry.

Although he’d been awake for nearly half an hour now, he didn’t dare to move and wake Barry up. Instead, he stayed put, with Barry in his arms and snuggled against him. Like this, Barry looked so beautiful, eyes closed and hair ruffled, relaxed and sleeping. It was the first time during that week that Barry had stayed over. Usually, he would head home so neither Detective West nor Iris would find out anything about what he was really doing during his nights out. So far, Len knew that Iris had guessed her brother was seeing someone but Barry had told him she just wasn’t aware who exactly, except for the fact that he was older than Barry. (“And is a bad boy who likes to make equally bad puns,” Barry had told him. And this should be indication enough of who exactly Barry’s mystery guy was, Len was sure. But even if Miss West had figured it out, she hadn’t scolded Barry – yet.)

But Len didn’t care if they knew or if they didn’t. Hell, he wanted to shout from every single rooftop in Central City that Barry Allen, CSI and the Flash, was his boyfriend. He knew this wasn’t possible, and yet, a guy could dream.

Only that, right now, Len was reminded that he couldn’t. He shouldn’t dream, and especially not about the life he could have because he knew how all this would end. It had been doomed from the beginning.

He was the problem here, and he needed to fix it. Because right now, there was no way he could stick to the plan, to _his_ plan – including the deal he had made with Nero. Right now, he couldn’t betray Barry, couldn’t plot with this bastard behind his lover’s back, not when he knew that Barry trusted him unconditionally, a trust Len didn’t deserve, not in the slightest. He needed to fix it, needed to talk to Nero once again – to call everything off, to change the plan. Right now, Len couldn’t let anything happen to his Barry. And he surely couldn’t see him heartbroken, knowing it would be his fault.

Slowly, Barry stirred next to him and turned around in Len’s arms. “Hey,” he said with a sheepish grin, his eyes still half-closed.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Len greeted him and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. “Slept well?”

“I’ve been sleeping in your arms,” he answered as this was justification and reason enough to prove his sleep had been good. Len’s chest filled with warmth once those words had left Barry’s mouth. He pulled him just a little closer (which was nearly impossible given that they were touching nearly everywhere anyway) and a smile spread across his face. This man, really.

“What time is it?” came Barry’s ruffled voice after a few seconds, followed by a loud growl of his stomach.

“Apparently time for breakfast,” Len laughed, and let go of Barry, unwillingly, but having a hungry and therefore grumpy Barry in his apartment wasn’t really what he was expecting out of their morning as a couple.

But Barry held unto him, grabbing him around his waist and pulling him closer again. “Don’t move,” he mumbled. “Too cozy.”

Len chuckled once again and put his arms around the younger man. Never, for anything in this world, he wanted to change this.

After a few moments of comfortable silence where Len was sure Barry had fallen asleep again, he felt him moving again and he released Len from his firm grip. “Now you can make me some lovely breakfast.”

“Who says it’s gonna be me who makes the breakfast?”

“It’s your apartment,” Barry said and stabbed a finger playfully in Len’s chest. He looked up at him, his soft hazel eyes still having a somewhat sleepy expression, but otherwise with a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

“Touché.” He lifted Barry’s head and pulled him closer, pressing a kiss to those soft lips. Barry greeted him eagerly, his arms around Len once again and his fingers digging into his skin. At first, the kiss was sweet, soft, and slow, but of course, it didn’t stay that way. Len could feel Barry’s grip on him tighten, and in the next second, he was being pulled over on top of Barry. He broke away for a second and looked at Barry who was grinning at him, his pupils dilated.

“Alright, if that’s what you want so early in the morning,” he laughed before he lowered his head and sealed their lips, the kiss more demanding now. And Barry immediately went with it, the pressure of his hands on Len’s back only increasing again. He captured his lower lip with his teeth again, teasing, and smirking up at Len. But Len could play that game, too. Slowly, he wandered downwards, kissed the edge of Barry’s mouth, then his cheek, until he reached the left side of Barry’s neck. His skin was so soft there. Len placed a kiss on the adorable mole right under his ear.

Barry inhaled sharply, and Len let go of him for only a second, a smirk playing around his lips.  He took Barry’s skin between his lips again, sucking, his teeth only softly biting his neck. And by the way Barry dug his fingernails into Len’s skin, he knew he was doing it right, a silent encouragement to continue.

And hell yes Len was doing that. He knew that eventually, the dark lilac hickey he had left on Barry’s neck wouldn’t last for long, not with his healing factor. But that didn’t stop him from doing it anyway, enjoying the moans his lover let out way too much.

And then Barry grabbed his face again, crushing their mouths together, now all teeth and tongue, full of want. Len could feel Barry’s erection even through his sleeping pants, but then again, the young man was only wearing his red and pretty tight boxer briefs. Only thinking about that, about how Barry’s hardness would fight against the fabric, the bulge in his boxers, made his own cock grow harder, now pressing against Barry, seeking friction.

Len let his hands wander downwards along the sides of Barry’s skin, just softly touching him, while the other man clung onto his back, one hand suspiciously near Len’s ass.

Before Len could realize it, Barry had flipped them over, now topping Len and straddling his lap. The surprise must have been visible on his face, because Barry only leered at him before he lowered his head and started kissing Len, down from his neck to his collarbone, sucking at his skin and sure as hell leaving a hickey himself. Len hissed but not because it was hurting. He realized he wanted this so bad, wanted to take apart the Scarlet Speedster, wanted to place hot kisses on every free inch of his body, wandering downwards, taking Barry apart, treating him right, and making sure he got the best orgasm he ever had in his life.

As if Barry had read his mind, Barry’s kisses wandered lower, above his abs and down to his stomach, his fingers now teasing Len. And then, he flipped one inside the waistband of Len’s pants, just carefully wandering along his skin, to too deep in but so near to his erection Len couldn’t hold back the moan leaving his mouth.

“Barry,” he breathed. And Barry looked up, his face flushed red, his hair ruffled and his pupils blown. And this image alone was enough to drive Len almost crazy with desire.

Barry just gave him one last smirk before he placed a kiss on top of Len’s crotch before he sat up and beamed at him.

“Okay, now I’m down for breakfast,” Barry commented and slowly rose from the bed, his backside facing Len which did nothing good in keeping his erection at bay. This cheeky fucker.

He groaned, fully aware that Barry could hear him. “Oh, you’ll get payback for teasing me like this.”

“Oh, I hope I will,” he said cockily and threw Len a suggestive grin, his eyebrows risen.

This man, really. Len shook his head and stood up as well, sliding on a tee shirt that had been lying on the armchair in the corner of his room. It was black (naturally), and maybe a little tighter than his usual shirts and not long-sleeved for a change, but he knew what effect it’d have on Barry.

And sure, as soon as the speedster laid his eyes on him, he let out a frustrated groan.

“Sometimes I hate you.”

Len just chuckled once again and let his own eyes wander down Barry’s still half naked body, down to the obvious bulge in his pants. At least he knew Barry wasn’t as unaffected by their little morning make-out as he pretended. “Yeah, I know you do.” He bridged the gap between Barry and him and put his arms around the other man, placing a kiss on his lips.

“Come on then, breakfast time. I have a great idea for what to eat.”

“Yeah?” Barry said, and Len could hear the grin in his voice. They went into the kitchen, Barry wrapping his arms around Len. “And what would that be?” he asked and started placing teasing kisses on Len’s neck.

“It’s a surprise, Scarlet.” He turned in Barry’s arms and kissed the clingy speedster one last time before he freed himself and went to the fridge to take out the ingredients he needed to make French Toast.

Barry huffed, “can I help you with anything?”

“You can stand there and look pretty. Or, if you want, you can grab a shower before Cisco’s calling you in for any emergency. There’s surely going to be one today, too.”

During the last week, it had happened three times that Barry had to go out and fulfill his duty. One time, there had been a bank robbery (and secretly, Len had scolded the person whoever had done this, because first, it had been the bank nearest to his apartment, and second, the guy had been stupid enough to basically trip every alarm there was.) The second time there had been a huge house fire because of a faulty gas leak (thank god Mick hadn’t had anything to do with that – Len really didn’t need a test to their relationship already so early). The third time had only been two nights ago which had although been a false alarm. Some person had thought they had seen Captain Cold out on the streets, but when Cisco had called to ask Barry, they had literally been quite in the middle of making out, Len having Barry seated on the counter of his kitchen with his legs wrapped around Len’s waist, their shirts already on the floor.

“Yeah, probably. Okay then, shower it is.”

“Hurry.”

Barry shot him a smirk before he left towards the bathroom.

Len sighed and turned towards his preparations again. While he whisked the eggs and added cinnamon, sugar, vanilla and some chocolate nips (Lisa’s special, actually – in her opinion, only with some chocolate a French Toast was really good). His mind drifted to Barry again, but this time, his thoughts were colored by a bluer character.

Despite all the love he felt for this gorgeous, gorgeous man, he couldn’t help but think about the upcoming heist. Or their plan of taking down Nero. Which was less of a real plan because Len had intentionally added a few loopholes that allowed him to follow Nero’s instructions.

One part of him knew he should just tell Barry, because he knew that lies could kill relationships. But the bigger part still hoped to keep him out of this, sort it out without his notice. Maybe, when all went well, Barry would never have to know, and he would never have to deal with the feeling of Len betraying him once again. Because Len knew that this doubt had been nagging at Barry’s mind for months now ever since Ferris Air. That maybe this thought hadn’t even left now when they grew so close and finally got together.

No, he needed to sort this out for his own. This was his fight, and he needed to fight it alone. When things would go like he hoped, they could stick to their plan for the 24th January, Len double-crossing Nero (again, but he pushed those thoughts away) instead of helping him. And then, everything could be alright. And the only problem they had to deal with would be that Barry’s father figure, the dear Detective Joe West, would need a hell of a lot of time to accept Len.

Not too long, Barry stuck his head out of the bathroom, his hair still wet and his face flushed from the heat. Hot steam rose from the open door into Len’s bedroom, because of course, the Scarlet Speedster would turn the water to the highest temperature.

“Uh, Len?” he asked, trying to gather his attention.

As if he needed that. No matter where Barry would go, he’d always have Len’s attention, he could nearly sense the kid every time he was entering the room or just simply close to Len.

“May I … Can I borrow a shirt from you, maybe?”

“Go ahead, choose whatever you like. And Barry,” he caught Barry’s attention as the younger man was already striding across Len’s room, only a towel wrapped around his middle – and _damn_ , this just looked way too hot – “you don’t have to ask, you have my permission to wear my clothes whenever you want.”

He had still Len’s V-neck sweater at home he had accidentally borrowed a few weeks ago after he had crashed a second time, but Len didn’t mention that. He secretly liked the idea of Barry wearing his clothes, maybe even at home where Joe West and the rest of his family could see it, at clear display.

Barry grinned back at him before he vanished out of Len’s sight to get dressed.

Len smiled fondly and now continued with preparing their breakfast, dropping in total sixteen slices of bread into four frying pans, all soaked in his egg-mixture.

When Barry came back, Len’s breath got stuck in his lungs from the sight Barry was offering. He had chosen a simple, dark navy sweater, which was actually one of Len’s favorites. And hell, he looked good in it. And the hickey was still visible on the side of his neck.

“God, Barry,” he let out, “if I wouldn’t need to keep an eye on the food, I’d take straight back to bed again.”

Barry blushed, and it was so glorious. “I think we have enough time for that later, after the breakfast.” A smug grin had appeared on his face and Len knew that Barry was as into the idea as he was. He felt his cock twitch in excitement, but he told himself to wait, to be patient. Now was not the time.

Their breakfast was ready, and he carefully placed all of the toast on a large plate. Together with the coffee pot and two additional cups and plates, he went into the living room and put everything down on the coffee table. Barry flung himself down on the sofa and instantly grabbed the control remote to pick a movie on Netflix. They had been doing that for a few nights now, because apparently Barry’s need to watch Christmas-themed movies wasn’t satisfied with “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”, but he made Len watch other films like “Santa’s Slay” and “A Christmas Tale”. Not that Len complained: he got to hold Barry in his arms, snuggled up against him, and it was worth all the cheesy Christmas stories.

Now, he had put on “Elf”. Len just shook his head, sat down next to Barry, handing him a plate with breakfast before he pulled him against his chest and they started watching the movie.

 

They actually had managed to watch the whole film without being interrupted by any Flash business. After the movie, they remained sitting on the couch, Barry cuddled up in Len’s arms. He was absently playing with his boyfriend’s fluffy hair (how could someone have _such_ fluffy hair?) and kept staring at him, adoring him. Barry’s head was rested against his shoulder, his fingers laced with those of Len’s free hand. It was moments like this in which Len’s chest started to swell with joy, his stomach doing flips, and his heart melted. In moments like this, he realized how much he had actually fallen in love with Barry.

“So, what are your plans for today?” he asked after a while.

“My actual plan was to spend the whole day with you, as long that’s okay? Because we usually don’t really get enough time, and I want this to work, and for it to be working we need time together,” Barry answered.

But as soon as those words had left his mouth before Len could even reply, Barry’s phone rang. Barry shifted in his seat to throw a glance at the screen. He cursed. “Hey, Cisco,” he greeted the engineer. “What’s up?”

Uh oh. Cisco calling on a weekend meant Flash business that had to be dealt with. So much about spending the whole day together.

“Not again,” he groaned out. “Yeah, I’m on my way. See you in a few seconds.” And with that, he hung up, throwing his phone into the cushions and buried his face in Len’s chest.

“Flash business?” he simply asked.

Barry just nodded. “Invisible Girl again. I swear she keeps annoying me more with every time she attacks.”

Len tsked, and placed a kiss on top of Barry’s hairline. “Just catch her, and then come back and we can have a nice lunch or dinner together. I might even take you out to a fancy place. And we can have some fun since we went to watching a movie right after breakfast instead of going back to the bedroom.”

Barry’s head shot up and he flashed Len a bright smile. “Really? Ohh, I’d loved that.”

“I’ll call you then. Just catch her and she’ll be out of our hair and not interrupting us again.”

“I will.” He kissed Len goodbye, both soft and filled with want, just enough to make Len look forward to later.

“Be safe,” Len called after him before his boyfriend left in a flash.

He shook his head and stayed put on the couch for a few more moments, his thoughts lingering on the morning. And on Barry. Finally, he got up, went to his bedroom, and grabbed one of the burner phones he hid in his nightstand. This particular one he was holding now was used for business calls only. He switched it on and went through his contacts, looking for Nero’s number.

 _We need to talk,_ he simply texted, and he could already feel his heart growing heavier with every second.

The response came immediately. _Right now, at the Virgin’s bar?_

Wow, this guy answered quicker than Barry. And of course, he’d chose some den like the Virgin. It was a small, slightly shabby bar in Keystone, but in exactly the kind of area he had expected Nero to manifest his hunting ground.

_K. There in 10.  
_

Len sighed. He just hoped that maybe he could fix things, set them right, make sure he didn’t jeopardize his new relationship any further. Even if that meant he had to meet up with the enemy to keep Barry safe.

 

 

2 pm, “The Virgin” bar in Keystone, mostly frequented by criminals

And yet there were at least ten reasons why all this was an awfully bad idea. First, he shouldn’t be here. Not because this wasn’t his territory, that didn’t really bother Len. No, he shouldn’t be here because he knew the people around who liked to get their share of booze here. This was where the darker side of the criminal world frequented, people Len really didn’t want to have something to do with. Those people were harsher, more ruthless, and so far, Len hadn’t found a single one who could possibly fit his Rogues. Not that he was disappointed about his, his own crew he had set up so carefully within the last year were a league of their own. No, it was more their anarchistic attitude Len didn’t agree with. He believed in order, and there was no order with everyone running around, wild, doing whatever they wanted to do.

Still, he couldn’t think of any other possible way to get what he wanted, and if that meant coming here, then fine. Although he would have felt a lot better with his cold gun strapped on his thigh, he decided just to bring a normal gun.

The second reason why this all was a bad idea was that it’d likely upset Barry. If he ever found out that Len was here to meet Nero in the dark, to talk about their deal, he’d be freaked, shocked, disappointed, and hurt beyond measure. Because once again, he was betraying him. Only now he and Barry were more than just associates, their situation was different. If he betrayed Barry now, there would be no way of going back. He’d lose his speedster forever, and Barry would definitely have all the reasons in the world to reject him.

Yet, he had to do this. He had to, to keep Barry save and not save his own life for once. To make sure nobody got hurt. That he was acting in the best interest, acted to protect Barry, his boyfriend. At least that is what Len told himself, reassuring himself. If Lisa could see him now, she would surely kick his ass, though. No, he still had to do this. He just had to, maybe he could save the situation. Save his relationship.

And Nero was, in fact, a reasonable man after all.

Speaking the devil. While Len hit his eyes wander over the slightly crowded bar (it was Saturday, and that meant it was time to get drunk the whole day), he spotted Nero’s conspicuous figure, striding towards him as if he owned the place. Which he probably did by the look of how the people here threw him respectful glances.

Len raised himself to his full body height, his shoulders tense. His arms were casually hanging down his sides but his hands were only millimeters away from the gun he had stripped to his right leg. Not that he wanted to cause any trouble, but just in case this whole thing would go south, he wanted to be prepared, the little extra caution be damned.

“Leo!” Nero called over, a fake smile on his face. “To be honest, I didn’t expect you to actually show. Tired of your little boyfriend already?”

Len clenched his teeth, his jaw tight. Well, wasn’t this a nice way to start a conversation. “Nero,” he said plainly, his voice kept in a cold tone.

“Tut, tut, always so icy.”

Now as Nero was standing right in front of Len, he got a chance to take a look at him. From what he could tell, his appearance hadn’t changed much over the last few weeks when he had last seen him. His hair and beard looked neat, the lines cut perfectly. He wore a dark lilac suit with a plain white shirt underneath. He looked ridiculous. But when he was standing next to him like this, Len noticed the other man was just slightly taller than him, a fact that bugged him more than he liked.

Nero put an arm around Len’s shoulders on which he tensed immediately.

“Let’s go and find a quiet place where we can talk, shall we?” Nero started to drag Len along, he shrugged the other man off. Physical contact was never something he particularly enjoyed, always expecting pain to come out of this touch. This was stupid, of course, no one would ever hurt him again like his father did. No one dared to even try something like this. And Len had learned over all those years to steel himself, to not let anyone in, not being afraid of anyone. He still didn’t like it to be touched, or no casual touches at least.

Immediately, his mind drifted off to Barry again. Len sure as hell didn’t mind any kind of touch from him. With him, it was different. With Barry, Len could relax, the speedster’s present usually more than just comforting. Barry was such an adorable puppy made of sunshine and rainbow fluff, so caring and sweet and considerate, Len never felt the urge to get some distance between them. In fact, Barry’s touch was soothing, comforting him. In some way, Barry could let him know that everything would be okay, somehow, just by being there, by carefully holding his hands or simply by being near to Len.

Nero had guided them to a deserted booth in the far corner of the bar, a little off, hidden behind several slot machines.

“You said you needed to … negotiate about our deal?” Nero said as soon they both had sat down. Len felt too much reminded of the day when he had asked Barry to help him with taking down Nero. He couldn’t shake the feeling of betraying him, sitting here with the one who was supposed to be their enemy. But he couldn’t do anything against it. Maybe, if this conversation turned out alright, he wouldn’t have to worry about it, because then, there wasn’t anything with what Len could betray Barry.

“Yes, indeed. We need to speak about the terms of our agreement.” He tried to keep his voice in check, cold, to sound as professional as possible.

“As such?”

“As in I won’t betray my boyfriend like that. There has to be another way.”

“So he really is your boyfriend now?” Nero let out a laugh, slightly sounding like a maniac. Maybe he was, after all. But it had been Len who made him into one, so he couldn’t really complain about probably just making a deal with the devil.

For a moment, Len thought about telling Nero to mind his own business. But then, he needed Nero to agree to it, so he decided for the truth. “Yes, he is.”

Nero whistled through his teeth. “Well, if that relationship is anything like the one we had, it’s merely a matter of time until you’ll betray him anyway. So tell me, Leonard: why do you even bother? Why do you even care so much about this little, scrawny kid?”

“Because it’s nothing like the relationship we had,” he snapped, his voice had turned to ice. “It’s entirely different. But any details are none of your concern.”

“Hm.” The Italian tilted his head, eyeing Len. He felt like he was being x-rayed, Nero looking right into his eyes. Len’s expression turned hard, not breaking the eye contact. Breaking the eye contact would be a sign of weakness.

“Alright. Let’s negotiate. What do you have to offer?”

“You want the Rose? I can arrange that. If that’s your wish, I can steal it myself, and hand you over the necklace later, and then you can give me my gun back and everyone wins. Just leave the Flash out of it.”

At this Nero burst out laughing. “You really don’t get it, do you? I don’t care about the Rose. All I care about is getting my revenge on you. You literally just served me the best blackmail I could ever use. You care about this kid, right? Well, I used to care about you too once. That was until you killed my family, took everything from me. I’ll take literally everything from _you_ now. The only reason you get the cold gun out of this deal? Because you look so sexy while being Captain Cold, and I love seeing you playing the supervillain like a small child, waving around a ridiculous gun and dressing up for some guy in red leather to play cat and mouse with.” He leaned forward a little, his eyes now glittering with menace. “So _no_ , Leonard. Our original deal stands. If you don’t follow suit … well, let me just say that I will make sure you don’t get too much time to spent with your new little toy. And this city will fall into chaos, no Flash protecting it and me as the new boss taking over. If you should somehow warn him, or try anything at all, I promise you’ll regret that decision. You’ll start regretting every decision you ever made, starting with betraying me like you did all those years back.”

“Then there’s nothing left to say.” His voice was steely, icy, reaching a new level of cold. If he ever thought he could reason with Nero, well, he had been wrong. This man was crazy, so drunk on revenge. This was not the Nero he remembered, not the Nero he had met and fallen in love with. That Nero was long gone, killed when Len had killed his family. Now he had paid the price for that.

Carefully, he got up, shooting his new enemy a last ice-cold glare.

“I guess we’ll see each other soon again,” Nero said with a sneer.

Len just snorted and left the bar.

On his ride home, he thought about what he could do now. He had failed, and coming here had been completely pointless. He wasn’t any farther than he had before, no more progress had been made. If not, talking to Nero today had made the situation even worse.

Nero knew now for sure how much Barry meant to Len, and he wouldn’t be such a bastard if he didn’t use it as blackmail against Len. He thought about telling Barry, getting him in on the plan. But given the fact he and Nero had this deal for already weeks now, coming out now would cause a lot of damage. And hold his end of the bargain would cause damage nonetheless. There seemed to be no way this could ever go down quietly, peacefully, and there seemed no way he and Barry could stay together afterward. No matter what he’d do, Barry would ultimately leave him. Someone like Len just didn’t get a happy ending.

 

***

 

After Leonard had left, you stayed at the bar. It was only three in the afternoon so far, which meant you still had plenty of time to have some fun. Not that this previous encounter hadn’t been fun. Seeing Leonard Snart dance, crawling back to you and nearly begging for your mercy was the biggest fun you could get. And yet, it wasn’t enough. There was so much more you wanted, so much more you needed from this man until you would be satisfied.

You got up and sat down at the bar. With a lazy gesture of your hand, you ordered the bartender to line a few shots of your favorite whiskey in front of you. This was your favorite bar so far, the place where you knew most of the people would respect you. This was Leonard’s Saints and Sinners, as to say. Yet you hadn’t quite reached the same status in the criminal hierarchy and with the mob as the dear Captain Cold. But you were on the right way. Even after Leonard’s betrayal, he had been somewhat of a mentor to you. Always looking up at him, adoring him, even still. This man was beautiful, and yet so broken, you knew that. But that night all those years ago, you had seen what happened to broken people. The only thing they did was breaking others and leaving them just as they are. That one night, Leonard Snart had managed to break you by three simple shots. Shots aimed at their heads and all of them hit perfectly.

And you were alone, and all you had had fallen apart. All you had known you suddenly questioned. Because why come that the person who loves you could do something so cruel to you? It was during one of those lonely nights when you realized that probably, Leonard Snart hadn’t loved you at all. That he had just used you. And you remembered the storm of feelings raging inside of you, and turning your grief and misery into something so much more powerful. A glorious rage had filled you since then, and the desperate need to get revenge, to take, to destroy, like Leonard had done.

That night had made you cold, broke you, leaving you with the desire, the want, to even break Leonard more, to see how far you could go, how much you could destroy him, to what point you could drive him.

Not long after you had sat down at the bar, a young woman dressed in all black slid down next to you. Not long, but still too long. The Flash was getting better a figuring her out. And yet not quite good enough still. Or so you hoped.

“Bring me a mojito,” the woman ordered in her demanding voice.

“Ayako,” you greeted her. “Report.”

“Got you the diamonds you wanted,” she stated with an indifferent voice. “The Flash appeared almost immediately, so it was harder to fulfill your task. But you were right. He only relies on his speed and didn’t throw a punch first. He tried to talk to, ah, some sense in me. Didn’t work, obviously. Kicked him unconscious. Police arrived just as I left.”

“And no sign of Captain Cold,” you said to yourself. Of course not, there couldn’t be, since Cold had come to you just at the same time as the attack had taken place. How perfectly timed. So logically the Scarlet Speedster had spent his morning with Leonard, and Leonard knew when it was safe to come forward to you and demand such an outrageous change of plans.

Yet it only showed how much he seemed to love this kid. He loved him more than he had ever loved you.

Anyway, things would be interesting. Would he turn on his boyfriend only to protect him? Or would he tell him – which was a stupid idea, just by the way, because you already had placed your own little group of “Rogues” on both his crew and the kid, and the people the kid seemed to hang out with and supposedly were his friends. If Leonard made one false move, the tech guy from S.T.A.R. Labs, the pretty, black girl working for Central City Picture News, the one with the afro and the nerdy but yet very cute guy with those adorable glasses you had seen hanging around your former boyfriend (if this guy wouldn’t be one of Leonard’s protégés, you’d sure as hell try to cut yourself a slice), they all would at least suffer a fate which would made them wish they’d rather been dead.

Leonard wouldn’t be so stupid, you were pretty sure of it. He must know what he did that night, what he had done to you, and surely all those years in between would have taught him not to trust anyone but oneself.

At least that is what all those years have taught you. Yes, there might be that little group of criminal metas you have assembled around you, but you knew better than to simply rely on their loyalty. They either owed you, or you had threatened them into working with you, or they had some kind of crush on you, like Ayako, or as this tech guy from S.T.A.R. Labs had called her, _Invisible Girl_. Which was a stupid name, but still.

 She, along with some others, was part of your team, only eager for their chance to rise and take up Leonard’s and his Rogues’ place.

“Well done, Ayako,” you said, returning your attention to her. She gave a single nod before she emptied her drink.

“I’ll be at the safe house, boss,” she said and gave you one of her seldom smiles before she left the bar.

You motioned the bartender to refill your glass which she did immediately. Your thoughts wandered off again, back to Leonard, back to your plan and your deal with him, back to the “Rose of North”. You had been there, visiting the exhibition, only one week after its first opening. The Rose was a work of art, so beautiful and perfect in its own ways. You wanted that gem so bad, and not only it reminded you of the necklace your mother had always worn when she had been alive. But soon, only a little more than a month, you would get your hands on that necklace.

You smiled. Soon enough, you would hold the Rose in your hands. It would be yours and yours alone.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I feel the need to explain this (Len's behaviour).  
> I see Len as a person who - when in love - cares deeply about the person in question. When he loves someone, he would do anything for them, just to make sure nothing happens to them and that they are safe. He'd do anything to not disappoint them, because letting them down would be something he couldn't forgive himself. Because if that would ever be the case, he'd tell himself that it had to turn out like that, because he hadn't been good enough, isn't good enough anyway, tried not hard enough and not given his very best.  
> I see Len as a person with very high standards towards himself. He always wants to do only the best, and failure isn't an option. Lewis surely had had very high expectations in his son as well, demanding him to give his best, and if Len had failed at one point or another (because nobody is perfect) he would have punished his son, both physically and verbally. So after all the years of Lewis' abuse, Len must've had a pretty low self-confidence concerning his skills, probably even an inferiority complex. (And commitment issues, because I don't think he ever had something like a real and stable relationship as long as his father was out there and controlling his son.)  
> So when he now realizes how deep he feels for Barry, I think he's also slightly scared, but instantly feels that he couldn't let him down, never, and would try anything to make him happy. And he would try everything to keep him safe. Now as his father isn't a threat anymore (obviously), Nero kind of takes this position. He realizes Len's weakness: as soon as he truly loves someone (like Lisa or Mick (but I don't think Nero actually knows how much Len cares about Mick, or is just simply scared of him haha)), Len becomes vulnerable concerning this person. And Nero realizes this, and naturally goes for threatening Barry.  
> This is why Len acts like that and makes this deal.
> 
> For the original deal ... well, you'll find out at a later date.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this so far, and thank you all for the comments, kudos, clicks and bookmarks! You guys are truly amazing. ♥♥


	18. A Merry Barry Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas Time is around the corner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the longest chapter so far. Thank you all so much for supporting this fic, I never imagined you'd like it so much. Thank you all, and happy Christmas! I hope y'all have a wonderful time with your families and friends, that you'll have lots of snow, and I hope you're all okay and healthy and happy and if you're not, I hope you get better. ♥  
> This is my Christmas present for you (I hope you'll like it)! ♥♥♥

 

_“Love me tender, love me sweet, never let me go. You have made my life complete and I love you so.” – Elvis Presley_

 

Christmas Eve, 3 pm, The West’s house

Christmas at the West’s household was always something special. Every year, Joe, Iris and Barry (and since last year Wally, too) would invite their friends to celebrate together. Joe would get up early in the morning and prepare the turkey after his grandmother’s recipe – in his eyes, the best turkey recipe that existed. He also made eggnog after her recipe which meant that it was pretty strong, and after one cup already you’d be able to feel a slight buzz.

Not that Barry could feel that, though, the alcohol still wasn’t strong enough for him. But luckily, Caitlin had been working on a solution the whole time when she got bored during times of a low crime rate, she had perfected it so now it actually did have a lasting effect on Barry.

Tonight, Caitlin and Cisco would come by, of course, since Caitlin and her mother still didn’t get along well, and Cisco would see his family on Christmas Day, which was way enough in his opinion. Surprisingly, their friends from Earth-2, Harry and Jesse Wells, had agreed to visit for Christmas dinner, too: Cisco and Barry would get them by four in the evening. He was actually excited to see them again since they didn’t get any news of what life was like on their earth now after Zoom was defeated and all the rogue metahumans were being put to justice.

Wally, too, seemed to pretty excited to see them again, although this was more on Jesse’s account. The two got along pretty well, and Barry was only waiting for any of them to make the next step because it was more than obvious they liked each other a little more than friends. (Barry and Iris even had placed a bet.)

At the moment, Barry was in his room and last-minute wrapping the presents for his family and friends. Although he was looking forward to this evening, he also wished that Len could be with them. It would be a hell of a lot awkward, and he and Joe would most likely try to put the biggest distance possible between them. Still. It could be so nice, and he and Barry were in a relationship, after all.

A relationship no one really knew about so far. Iris didn’t know his name, whereas Cisco and Caitlin knew the name, but not that they … had progressed into being boyfriends. And Barry didn’t intend on telling them that tonight, not on Christmas Eve when everybody was supposed to have a good time. Because then he would cause an uproar and open discussions of why he had done that and how wrong this was and he really didn’t need that. But he did plan on slipping out around nine and go over at Len’s, spent the night there and then quietly sneak back home in the morning.

When Barry was done with wrapping his presents, he started to get ready for the evening. For once, he had enough time left, although he was pretty sure that he wouldn’t be ready on time anyway. Still, he could try. And since Silvester was coming up, not being late sounded like a good new year’s resolution (like all the other years before as well).

Carefully, he took his clothes for later out of his wardrobe and placed them on his bed, trying not to get any wrinkles into his carefully ironed shirt. Then, he went to bathroom throwing the dirty sweatpants and tee shirt he was wearing in the linen chest, along with his underwear. (He had noticed how much Len seemed to like him wearing red, so when he had gotten some free time, he had sped into the shopping mall and had bought several boxer briefs in different shades of red. Okay, maybe this was ridiculous and totally something only teenagers did, but Barry hadn’t been able to help it. Len’s face, when he was wearing one of those tight red boxers, was always too amazing, something between awe and raw desire, and Barry wanted to see this side of him as often as possible. Hell, Len was pushing his buttons, too, so why should he get the chance to?)

He stepped into the shower, closed his eyes and let the hot water run over his body. The images of Len were still in his mind, one after another sliding in his inner eye. The two of them hadn’t had sex so far, mainly because Barry was afraid since he had little idea of how to do it right, and because he was too scared to tell Len that he was afraid. Surely Len would neither laugh at him nor reject him. Still, overcoming his fears wasn’t that easy.

And yet, Barry couldn’t wait to feel Len’s body against his again, to feel his lips on his own or somewhere else on him, to touch him. When he closed his eyes and concentrated, he could nearly feel Len’s touch, the ghost of his kisses, and the surprising warmth of his body.

Instantly, Barry's cheeks started to redden and he felt himself growing hard. Absently, his right hand wandered downwards, grabbing his already quite hard cock. He had to think of tonight, and a thrill of anticipation rushed through him as he started stroking himself, slowly at first, but then picking up pace. The images of Len were still in his mind as well as the feeling of his body pressed against his, warm and hot, hard, demanding, and he felt as if this was salvation, like this was all he wanted.

It didn’t take Barry long to drive himself over the edge, spilling over his hand. Slowly, he opened his eyes again and started to get his breathing to regulate. With one hand propped against the wall, he tried to regain his balance. If getting an orgasm like this just from thinking of Len, then Barry was more than looking forward to more, to getting touched by him, actually feeling him, and getting off because of him. The thought alone let blood rush to his cock again.

Carefully, he washed off the remains of the white liquid and grabbed the soap. His sense of time was crappy, and he definitely didn’t have an inner clock like Len. So better hurry anyway and not be late for Christmas dinner.

Once he was done showering and getting ready, he headed downstairs with all his presents under his arm which he placed under the Christmas tree. Already last weekend, Iris and he had decorated it. Now it was glowing with fake candle lights, red and gold baubles hanging from the twigs, and with a huge golden star on top. Barry hadn’t been able to resist to add a few glittering, silver snowflakes, silently snickering to himself every time he saw them. Len would love it.

Barry felt the Christmas spirit catching up with him, as he sat down on the couch next to Iris and waited until slowly, all their guests arrived, all of them happy and content and looking forward to an uneventful evening for once, an evening they all could spend in peace without having to worry about any rogue metahuman or any other kind of crime that could disturb them. This evening belonged to them, was dedicated to family, friends, and love.

 

***

 

After their dinner, when they were all well stuffed with food and had exchanged their presents, Barry sat down on the couch next to Cisco. He was a little sleepy by now, having had seven helpings of turkey with mashed potatoes and again four helpings of the dessert Iris had made.

They sat in content silence for a few moments, too full and too happy to speak. Barry’s mind drifted off to Len once again, wondering how his Christmas Eve might have been. He, too, would probably have celebrated it with his sister, as she was the only family he had (besides his Rogues – although Barry wasn’t completely sure if Len counted them as his family). So Lisa remained, and she was still in the hospital, still unconscious. Knowing Len, he must have visited her anyway, just sitting beside her bed for hours. A lonely way to spend his Christmas, Barry thought, but he couldn’t exactly do anything about it. But if their relationship would be out in the open …

“So … you’re going and see him today?” Cisco asked and pulled him out of his thoughts.

Barry knew exactly who Cisco meant, but he decided to play dumb.

But before the question of who exactly Cisco meant could leave his mouth, Caitlin’s voice sounded from behind. “Go and see who?”  

Cisco threw Barry an apologetic look, but the damage was done. Caitlin glided down next to them and looked at Barry curiously.

“I don’t know what Cisco means,” Barry answered slowly, already cursing himself. As if this answer wouldn’t cause anything but suspicion.

“You’ll go and see Snart today?” Caitlin asked, her voice a little quieter as she looked around her carefully. But nobody seemed to have noticed her. Iris was engaged in a discussion with Jesse on how well Wally’s new shirt looked on him, very much to her brother’s embarrassment, and Joe and Harry were talking about something where Barry wasn’t quite sure about what exactly.

He sighed. “Yes,” he answered. There was no use in denying since he did plan on going tonight. And as soon as he would leave, they’d know anyway.

Caitlin only raised her eyebrows. “How long has this been going, actually?” Her voice wasn’t directly icy, but Barry could definitely make out a cold tone to it, as if she wanted to be careful, maybe to not hurt Barry’s feelings. (Or to protect herself, a part of Barry’s brain thought. Not that he could blame her.)

“Going what?” Maybe playing dumb helped this time and he could avoid the truth from coming out.

“Yeah,” Cisco interfered, “I mean, what exactly are you guys? The last thing I know is that you had a massive crush on him and he kept flirting with you continuously.”

Okay, never mind. Now both his friends looked at Barry, their eyebrows risen. They didn’t seem to be angry at least, that was a good sign. Maybe Cisco seemed a little more excited than Caitlin, her brows more furrowed in concern.

Barry didn’t answer right away. They were his friends after all, right? But there was still a nagging thought in the back of his mind, demanding him to keep quiet about their relationship. Not that they wouldn’t notice at some point anyway. And yet they were his friends. And if someone would (maybe) support him, it was most likely to be them. Although they had every reason to push him away after a confession, because Len had kidnapped them both, even threatened their lives, and hurt Cisco’s brother. This wasn’t something one got over quickly. And now Barry was in a relationship with exactly the man responsible–

“So you two are dating,” Caitlin stated, her voice matter-of-factly, and interrupting Barry’s thoughts.

“What? Dating? No, why should we be dating, he’s a known criminal after all, and I mean, he hurt you guys, and he kidnapped you, and it would just be totally morally wrong to date someone like that–”

“Barry. You’re rambling. You can tell us the truth, you know. We won’t kill you or anything.”

Barry looked at them, shocked.

Around them, Iris was now engaged in the conversation with Joe and Harry, and Wally and Jesse were nowhere to be seen.

He sighed and decided for the truth. “We may or not may have been on a Christmas Market together and we may or not may have kissed?” His voice had grown smaller with every word he said. He shrunk in his seat, now looking down at his lap. They would judge him, especially Caitlin, because dating Leonard Snart just _was_ wrong, by all means–

“I knew it!” Cisco exclaimed loudly and threw a fist into the air. “Now Felicity owes me twenty bucks.”

Barry lifted his head and looked at them in disbelief. Instead of meeting angry and disappointed faces, they were both grinning at him, Cisco widely and Caitlin with a mischievous gleam in her eyes.

“You and Felicity have a bet?”

“Um, yeah,” Cisco answered, slightly blushing in shame. “We made a bet about who of your enemies you’re most likely to go out with … I said Cold, but she was more for Pied Piper?”

Barry let out a small laugh which sounded more like a choke, though. He stared at Cisco for a moment. His friend looked relaxed and a laugh played around his lips. He wasn’t freaking out. 

Relief and joy flooded through Barry, and he felt as if a massive weight had been lifted from his shoulders. “You … you’re not angry at me?” he finally managed to bring out.

“Why should we, Barry?” Caitlin said plainly. “Because you’re dating Cold?” She shook her head, and then looked at Barry sympathetically. “Barry, you’re our friend and we love you. And whoever you are dating does not define who you are or makes us like you less. In fact, there has to be a reason why you fell in love with him in the first place, right? You’re such a great person, and I believe that somewhere inside of him has to be something good, too, or otherwise you wouldn’t even consider being with him. Well,” she paused and tilted her head, “assuming you are in love with him?”

Barry just stared at her, his mouth ajar. They hadn’t judged him, they hadn’t insulted him or told him off for making such a stupid decision.

They were _supporting_ him.

In that moment, gratefulness and pure love for his friends rushed through him. This was all he could have ever asked for, all he ever needed. His friends accepted him and his decision.

“Um, yeah,” he answered as soon as he had gathered his thoughts. “I am. I’m not entirely sure for how long already, but I am.” He paused, thoughts swirling in his mind. “He’s so … funny, and caring, and sweet, and just awesome. I can’t really explain it. But, um, every moment I spent with him, it’s like we fit almost perfectly. Sure, there’s still the thing that we’re supposed to be nemeses, but … I don’t know. I can’t really explain it.” A wide smile spread across his face.

He looked at his friends, and they were both smiling up at him, too. No judgment in their eyes, no disdain.

 “Barry, we get it, really. And not that it hadn’t been obvious before, just by the way. I mean, you started helping him out with that business with Nero, spent, like, all your free time with him. And apart from that, you two’ve already been flirting long before every single time you encountered each other during his heists.”

“Who has been flirting?” Iris’ voice suddenly sounded through the room as she glided down into the armchair next to the couch, eyeing the three of them with a curious expression.

Barry blushed, his face as red as a tomato. Well, shit. “They think L– Snart and I have been flirting during our encounters.” He rolled his eyes as if to show how utterly ridiculous that idea was. The cat might be out of the bag, but Iris didn’t need to know that much.

“Well, you have,” she answered nonchalantly.

“What? No! We haven’t! I mean, he hasn’t!” His cheeks grew, if possible, even hotter. He suddenly felt the urgent need to run off somewhere where nobody could see him and where he could quietly die of shame.

Now Iris raised her eyebrows, too, looking suspiciously.

“Why do I have the feeling I’m missing something here?”

“Oh, no, you’re not. Barry was just telling us about his boyfriend,” Caitlin quickly said, trying to save the situation.

“Ohh, yeah, that guy who is older than him and whose name Barry doesn’t want to tell me, but with whom he’s totally smitten?”

“I’m not _smitten_ –”

“Yes, you are,” the three of them said simultaneously.

Barry sighed. Okay, maybe he was smitten with Len, and maybe even more than just that. But that still didn’t make this situation easier.

“But was does this have to do with Leonard Snart?” Iris asked, and Barry immediately tensed.

“Uh, nothing,” he lied. He didn’t dare to look her into the eyes because she would sure as hell know that he wasn’t telling the truth. But he didn’t need to look at her to know she was narrowing her eyes and eyeing him with her x-ray-like vision.

Barry felt Caitlin and Cisco tense equally next to him, but none of them dared to say a word. Christmas Eve still wasn’t exactly the right time to drop the bomb that he was dating a known criminal.

“Alright,” Iris finally answered, and Barry looked up again. She still eyed him suspiciously, but she, too, seemed to think that it wasn’t the right time to start an argument about secret-mongering.

Barry exhaled audibly, and both Cisco and Caitlin relaxed again.

 “But I know you’re still hiding something, and at one point or another, you’re gonna tell me about it, okay?” she asked sharply with a voice Barry had started to call Iris’ mom-voice.

“I will, Iris.” And he meant it. If that with Len would last – when it lasted, Barry corrected himself, trying to stay optimistic – then he would tell his family about it. There was no way around, not if he wanted a normal relationship (or as normal as this relationship could be).

Barry checked the clock. It read quarter to nine. If he still wanted to see Len tonight, he should get going, or otherwise Len might be stuck in some bar, drinking too much alcohol for his own good. Christmas was, after all, the time of the year you spent with your family, and the only family he had was currently lying unconscious in a hospital bed.

He sighed. “I’d better go,” he said and rose from the couch. His friends stood up as well and gave him a warm hug each.

“Thank you for the presents, Barry,” Caitlin said warmly.

“Don’t open them until tomorrow!”

Cisco immediately looked guilty, as if he had actually planned on opening his tonight. But he caught himself quickly again and beamed at Barry. “Just have some fun tonight,” he said, “and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

Barry rolled his eyes but smiled. “I won’t.”

“Just be back in the morning,” Iris said, “so you don’t miss the collective opening of our Christmas gifts.”

Barry nodded. He threw a glance over at Joe, thinking about telling him where he would go, but his foster father was sitting huddled up in the corner and singing Christmas carols together with Harry. Both looked as if they’d had one eggnog too much.

Iris followed his gaze. “I’ll tell him in the morning,” she said. “Now you go and have some fun night with your boyfriend!”

He called a thank you after her and waved his friends goodbye before he grabbed his coat and flashed out of the house towards where he suspected Len might be.

 

 

8.47 pm, St. Andrews Hospital

Len felt the familiar rush of wind connected to the smell of ozone that announced his boyfriend’s arrival.

His day had been relatively quiet. He had met up with Mick around lunch time, and after that, he had dealt with his Rogues for a few hours, mostly reminding them not to cause too much trouble over the Christmas days. And of course, he had given each of them a little gift, because even if they were a band of criminals that stole together and which was mostly held together by loyalty and honor, they were still kind of a family to Len with him as their father.

Two hours ago, when Mick had grown more and more drunk by the rather liberal amount of liquor he had been consuming, Len had decided to leave and go visit his sister. Lisa was still unconscious, although the doctors had greenlighted to wake her up in the first week of January, positive that she’d have healed enough by then.

Over the past two hours, Len had been sitting by her bedside, mostly staying quiet but giving her company. It was Christmas, after all, and Christmas was the time you usually spent with your family. And no matter how fond he had grown of his Rogues, Lisa (and usually Mick, too) was the one he considered as his real family.

Len knew that Barry would spend his day with his family, at home with his father, sister, and brother, Doctor Snow and Cisco, and with this Harrison Wells from the other Earth and his daughter. They would have a traditional family dinner together, with eggnog and roasted turkey, and from what Barry had told them, Iris would make “mousse au chocolat”, apparently something he really liked. So he didn’t expect Barry to turn up at all, maybe tomorrow after he had spent enough time with his family.

The more surprised he was to feel Barry’s presence. Instantly, his stomach went all tingly and his lips twitched up into a smile.

He heard Barry’s steps coming nearer until he was standing right behind Len and placed a hand on his shoulder.  Len could feel the heat Barry radiated through his multiple layers of clothing, comforting him before he realized he had needed it.

“Hey,” Barry said quietly, his voice soft.

“Hey, Scarlet,” Len replied. His voice sounded raspy even though he had tried hard not to sound like a sad puppy. He closed his eyes for a second, concentrated on his heartbeat before he opened them again, putting on an icy mask, the mask he had so carefully built over the years. He couldn’t let his guard down, not now, not when he was in public, vulnerable to someone else than just Barry. He knew that maybe later, when he and Barry were alone in his apartment – he hoped that Barry wanted to spend the evening with him, at least the few hours that were left, but Len knew hope was a bitch – it might be more difficult for him to keep his mask up, and that he would turn into the asshole he actually was just to not get hurt.

“I figured you’d be here,” Barry said equally quiet. For a moment, his hand left Len’s shoulder and he walked to the corner of the room, grabbing a chair and placed it next to Len before he sat down. Len could feel his eyes on him, could feel the questioning look.

Before he could reply, telling Barry he was okay and this was just some normal visit, the younger man took his hands, carefully, almost hesitant, and interlaced their fingers. And it felt as if this was the straw to break the camel’s back, and just for a moment, Len’s mask dropped.

“Christmas had always been her favorite time of the year.” His voice sounded hard, nearly emotionless and totally contradicting to what he was saying, but he didn’t care. If that would keep his feelings in check, then fine. “There was this one Christmas so many years ago. It’s the first Christmas she remembers. Lisa was six, I was seventeen. Our dear father had managed to get himself into prison again, so our grandfather took us in. During that time, our grandmother was still alive – so she cooked us the best dinner we ever had, and we could take as many helpings as we wanted. They even had a Christmas tree with presents for us underneath it. This was the best Christmas we ever had,” he confessed.

He took in a breath and cursed himself for sounding so shaky. Barry’s grip on his fingers increased as if he was reassuring him that everything was okay. He closed his eyes again and listened to his heartbeat before he continued. “Every year after this one Christmas … I had never been the same. Lewis got out of jail, and he never let us go over again. We didn’t really celebrate it, but that still didn’t stop Lisa from simply loving Christmas. By the age of nine, she could sing every single carol by heart. The two of us swapped presents, and at one point, he had our own Christmas traditions.” Len let his eyes wander over to his sister again. Carefully, he reached out with his free hand and stroked her hair again.

Silence fell over them, and for a few moments, none of them spoke. Barry kept running his thumb in slow circles over the back of Len’s hand, and that had a surprisingly calming effect on him. He leaned closer to the speedster, seeking the comfort of his touch.

“I’m sorry,” Barry said after a while. “I can imagine Christmas must be pretty hard for you, especially now.” His voice sounded rich with emotion. “If it helps any, I planned on staying the night, they’re not expecting me back until the morning. Or, I don’t know, if you’d rather stay alone tonight, I can leave. Whatever you need.”

Finally, Len turned his gaze from Lisa towards Barry, now looking at him for the first time tonight. He was wearing a dark gray, elegant shirt underneath a jacket in a lighter gray. His coat was hanging over the back of his chair. He looked absolutely stunning.

Len smiled fondly and leaned forwards to press a kiss on Barry’s lips. “If you want, you’re very welcomed to stay the night.”

Barry beamed at him in response.

Len let his eyes wander back to his sister again. He had been here for more than two hours now, and one would think that this was entirely enough time spent next to the bedside of a comatose person. Slowly, he let go of Barry’s hand and rose from the chair, placing a kiss on Lisa’s head. “Happy Christmas, Lise,” he whispered before he turned around and motioned Barry to follow him.

“If you want, we can stay,” Barry suggested.

“No. I’ve been here long enough. And talking to her while I know she won’t hear me doesn’t do any good. I’d rather spent my evening with you, at home. Sounds much nicer and appropriate for Christmas Eve.”

“Okay.”

Slowly, at normal human pace, they walked downstairs and left the building. Len had arrived here by his motorcycle which was now parked in the parking lot. “I’ve only got one helmet,” he said to Barry. And handed it to him.

Barry already opened his mouth to protest, probably wanting to say that he could as well just run to Len’s apartment, but Len cut him off. “Take it. I wouldn’t be able to drive properly when I have to worry about you because you’re not safe.”

A little reluctantly, Barry took the helmet out of Len’s hands and put it on. Len couldn’t help but put a smug grin on as he mounted his bike. Barry sat down behind him almost immediately, wrapping his arms tightly around Len’s waist on which his stomach immediately did flips and his smirk turned into a real smile. Maybe his night would turn out better than he’d thought.

“Alright, Barry, just hold on tightly and don’t move too much,” he said before he kicked the engine to life and roared off the parking lot and onto Central’s streets.

With his bike, the ride home didn’t take longer than thirteen minutes. Now, the streets were deserted, everyone was with their loved ones and celebrated the birth of a baby two thousand years ago. During the ride, Barry’s arms only clenched tighter around him, and Len feared he might break him a rib from the sheer force. But nothing like that happened, they didn’t even lose balance once.

When they had covered half the distance, Len could feel Barry shifting in his seat and lean forward, whispering something in his ear. (Or more like screaming over the airflow.) “Len? Do you have a Christmas tree?”

Len nearly burst out laughing because the question sounded so utterly ridiculous and was so unimportant. But Barry said it with such a tragedy that told him he meant it.

“No, I don’t,” he answered. Because why should he? Usually, Lisa and he had chosen one together, and recently they had put it up in their current favorite safe house. Then, Lisa would spend hours decorating it. Now she simply wasn’t able to do that, and Len saw no need in getting a tree.

“Hm.” He paused. “I’m right back. Meet you at your apartment!”

Len felt a brush of lips against his cheek and his helmet was put over his head before Barry suddenly jumped off the motorcycle and sped off.

Len shook his head. Usually, he thought he understood what kind of man Barry was. But in moments like this, he acted so impulsive and left Len completely puzzled.

 

 

9.18 pm, Leonard's apartment

Seven minutes later, he arrived at his apartment building. He quickly parked his bike and rushed up his stairs to his apartment. Barry wasn’t there yet, or at least he wasn’t standing in front of it. But then again, he could just have phased through it or picked Len’s lock since Len had taught him that technique a few weeks ago while they had been planning on their counterstrike against Nero. You never knew when it could come in handy.

Len pulled out his keys and unlocked the door only to find it already open. Immediately his senses were on high alert. Because what if that wasn’t Barry? What if Nero had decided to break into his apartment again, hoping he could find Barry there and end him?

However, his worries were pointless. As soon as he had opened the door, cozy light spread through the door crack, revealing a beaming Barry standing in the middle of his apartment. An amused smile played around Len’s lips as he stepped inside and looked at his lover. That was until he noticed the more than huge Christmas tree standing on the right wall, decorated with fairy lights and countless baubles and, to Len’s surprise, glittering snowflakes. Underneath lay a single present, beautifully wrapped.

“Merry Christmas, Len.” Barry was nearly standing on his tiptoes, now having put off his jacket and only wearing the dark shirt.

Len was overwhelmed. Never, ever in his life, someone had done something like this for him. He was too stunned to actually form a thought and put it into words. He was staring at Barry, his mouth surely a little ajar. The seconds elapsed until Len mastered his own emotions again. Quickly, he strode forward, taking Barry into his arms and pressed a kiss to his lips, a kiss as if Barry was a lifeline and he needed saving, a kiss as if it was their last, a kiss as if this was the only thing that mattered in the world, as if Barry was the only thing that mattered. And in that moment, it surely felt like it.

When they finally broke apart, Len just stared at Barry again, taking this image in, those soft hazel eyes that were so full of love. “Barry,” Len breathed out. “This … it’s incredible.”

“It’s just a Christmas tree.”

But Len shook his head. He tried to form an explanation in his head – he wanted Barry to understand, needed him to know much it meant to Len. But he couldn’t form the right words, couldn’t express what he was feeling right now, so overwhelmed and genuinely happy.

“It’s … it’s not just a tree,” he finally brought out. “I – thank you, Barry. This means so much to me.” For the first time ever, someone had left Captain Cold lost for words. And of course, it had to be Barry Allen.

Barry just smiled warmly at him. He always wore his emotions on his sleeve whereas Len prided himself with having a perfect poker face and being able to hide what he was truly feeling. But right know he knew he must be failing and letting his mask slip. But he didn’t care, not really, because he knew nobody would judge him right now, use his feelings against him. With Barry, he was safe. It was safe to _feel_.

He pulled the speedster into his arms again, pressing him against him and buried his face in the crook of Barry’s neck, inhaling his smell, something sweet like roasted marshmallows, mixed with the smell of his cologne and lightning.

“Thank you,” he mumbled again and backed away a little, only to press his lips on Barry’s, tasting him. When he was kissing Barry, he felt like they were sucked into an endless space, where they were the only ones existing and they were the only ones that mattered. When he was kissing Barry, he felt as if everything was setting into place, and suddenly every stray puzzle piece fitted. Len had never thought that he would find someone like that someday, someone who would make him feel so much, and so acutely, someone else apart from his sister he would be willing to risk literally everything for.

After what felt like forever, they let go of each other.

“You wanna unwrap your present?” Barry asked him, still smiling.

By now, Len had regained most of his self-control. An eyebrow jerked upwards. “Don’t people usually open presents on the morning of Christmas day?” he asked.

Barry shrugged. “Depends. There are countries where people open their presents on Christmas Eve, I think. And I’m not sure if I’ll be awake enough in the morning to fully enjoy your face when you see what I got you.”

Awake in the morning – “Does that mean you’re definitely staying the night?”

“If you want me to.”

“Of course. Just think about all the fun we could have once we’re done with all this sentimentalism …” Len said, referring to Barry’s surprising desire to hug and cuddle him every time he got the chance.

And Barry took the hint. “Hey, cuddling is fun!” He actually pouted and made a face as if he had insulted him personally.

Len just laughed. “I’ll cuddle you as much as you want to, I promise.”

And Barry smiled at him again, his eyes shining with love and affection which made Len’s heart ache with both happiness and sadness.

“So, present?”

Len just nodded, but then held his index finger in the air to motion Barry to wait. He turned around and went to his bedroom to his wardrobe, taking out his own present for Barry. He hadn’t expected anything from Barry, didn’t even know if giving each other presents for Christmas was a thing for them already, but he had gotten him something anyway.

He walked back to his boyfriend and placed it under the Christmas tree.

“You – you didn’t have to get me a present.”

“You have gotten me something, too. Besides, I wanted to.”

“Yeah, but,” Barry started, and his cheeks started to blush, making him look so adorable Len had to resist the urge to kiss him once again. “It isn’t much, and now I feel bad, because what if it isn’t enough?”

“Anything you got me will be enough. Heck, let alone you being here is the biggest gift you could possibly get me.” And no, Len was definitely not blushing, too. He didn’t blush. Even though he just had said something as delicate as partly putting his feelings for the younger man into words.

Barry sighed, but it didn’t seem as if it was out of desperation. By the look he was giving Len, he knew that his speedster had seen right through his hard mask.

Len took his present for Barry again and handed it over. Carefully, as if he didn’t want to tear the paper (which was stupid – it was a present, and presents practically demand to be torn open) Barry unwrapped his gift.

He sharply sucked in his breath and his eyes grew wide as soon as he saw what Len had gotten him.

“This – oh my god, Len, thank you so much, this is so beautiful!”

In his hands, he held a painting. It displayed a snowstorm, hundreds of tiny snowflakes whirling around. It looked as if real ice was covering the picture. But right in the middle of the storm, there was an orange lightning bolt, disrupting the scene and striking with so much power. It looked so contradicting to the white and blue colors of the snow but somehow the ice and the lightning were in perfect harmony, both of them powerful forces that seemed to balance each other out perfectly.

“I – I don’t know what to say. This – wait.” He suddenly narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “You didn’t steal that, did you?”

And Len laughed. Because of course, that would be Barry’s first concern. “Don’t worry, Scarlet, I paid actual money for the paint and the canvas.”

“For the … did you paint that yourself?” Barry gaped at him, disbelief in his eyes.

“Yes. You asked me about my hobby, remember? Well, I designed all of my tattoos myself. This,” he gestured to the painting, “was actually just a sketch for a tattoo, too. But then I had the idea to improve it a little, and I thought you might like it.”

“I … I love it. Holy shit. Thank you, Len.”

He smiled brightly up at Len before he flashed forward and kissed him hard, all tongue and teeth, another way to express his gratitude.

“Okay, now yours,” he said, flashed to the tree to grab the present for Len and handed it to him. “But, now after you got me this, my present will seem crummy to you. But I had no idea you’d make something so amazing for me! So … don’t expect too much, okay?”

Len just rolled his eyes in response. Equally carefully, he unwrapped it. The present turned out to be a reindeer mug, filled with a pack of chocolate nibs to melt and make cocoa, and with a pack of mini-marshmallows. It was, in fact, the same reindeer mug Len had lent from Barry when he had broken into the West’s house to warn him about Mardon and the Trickster.

His chest started to swell, and his heart did this funny thing where it started to beat a lot faster, simultaneously with his stomach doing flips.

“Barry …” he breathed, once again unable to form a proper thought and put it into words.

“You like it?”

He looked up from the mug in his hands and met Barry’s soft hazel eyes. “It’s perfect.” He didn’t know why, and although it wasn’t exactly much, he loved it.

Barry cupped Len’s face with his hand and leaned in into a soft kiss. “Merry Christmas,” he said, smiling with so much love in his expression.

Len just smiled back at him.

They stared into each other’s eyes for a few seconds, capturing this moment.

“I guess you want to watch yet another Christmas movie, Scarlet?”

“How come you know that?” Barry asked with an innocent grin on his face. He sprang forward and flung himself down on the couch, already grabbing the remote and turning on Netflix. Len shook his head in amusement and went to the kitchen and prepared two mugs (one of them was his new reindeer mug) with steaming hot chocolate and a sip of amaretto and, of course, mini-marshmallows on top before he joined his boyfriend on the couch and handed him the other cup. Barry took it gratefully and then snuggled up against Len’s side, resting his head on his shoulder. It was promising to be another more than a just nice evening with his Barry, his lover, and partner. On screen, “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens was playing.

 

***

 

When the movie was finished and they both had emptied their cocoas, Barry leaned forward and pulled Len into a loving kiss. It was at least eleven pm now, but he didn’t even feel a trace of tiredness. This evening had been so very nice, so incredible, and just so normal despite how weird their relationship probably was.

“Come on, Scarlet,” Len said in a hushed voice, his eyes darkening a little. Barry took the outstretched hand and let himself drag to the bedroom. Blood rushed both to his face and to his dick, and Barry’s mind started to race. He suddenly had to think of his shower before dinner, of the images of Len in his mind. And right now, all the things he had only imagined this afternoon, perhaps would turn into reality.

When they were standing in front of Len’s bed, the older man turned around and softly took Barry’s cheeks into his elegant hands. With no force, he pulled Barry towards him, and their lips found each other, so soft and careful, but with a desperate tone. Not very long until their kiss turned hotter, and Barry let his tongue flick over Len’s lip before he met his. And _oh_ , Len tasted so good.

Barry’s hands tightened around the black sweater Len was wearing, pulling him closer as Len’s hands wandered from his cheeks to his neck and to his back, equally desperate seeking for the pressure of Barry’s body against his. Before Barry could fathom another thought of what to do next, if he should get rid of their clothes or if he should push Len a little backwards so they’d drop on the bed, Len spun him around and tenderly put him down onto the mattress, laying down between Barry’s legs and towering over him. He looked so tenderly at him, and his blue eyes didn’t look like ice this time but were darker and molten. Love was shimmering there, and that made Barry’s heart flutter. He knew about his own feelings for Len, about how much he felt and how deeply. But until now, he hadn’t been sure of Len’s feelings towards him, not sure if Len felt the same. But the eyes were the window to the soul, and no matter how much Len controlled his expression, putting on the mask of Captain Cold, his eyes told what he was really feeling.

Barry wrapped his legs around Len’s waist and resumed their kiss. His wandered down Len’s back, to the hem of his shirt and underneath, his fingers tracing up and down his skin. He could feel his erection increasing and demanding him to take his pants off. And he wanted that, oh, he wanted it so bad.

Len lifted him up and quickly opened the buttons of Barry’s shirt before he pulled it off and tossed it aside, along with his sweater. Their lips reconnected again, heated and wet now, and their bodies were pressed against each other. Barry could feel Len’s erection pressing against his, and almost unconsciously, he started shifting his hips, rocking, seeking the friction. And Len immediately followed, now placing kisses on the side of Barry’s neck, sucking at his skin that caused the speedster to moan in pleasure.

And Len wandered downwards until he reached Barry’s pants. He looked up, a silent question in his eyes, but Barry was done waiting. He wanted it, needed it. He nodded quietly and Len opened his belt and fly and carefully pulled down his pants as if he was giving Barry a chance to say no, to stop him if he wasn’t feeling ready. But he was.

“Goddammit, Barry,” Len let out, his voice nothing like his controlled drawl, but needy and raspy. “Have you any idea what you are doing to me?”

Barry looked down at himself. He was wearing one of the red boxers he had bought, and his cock was straining against the fabric. The boxers were so tight they outlined everything. And Len was looking so desperate, his pupils blown with an almost painful expression in his eyes.

“A pretty good idea, yes,” he said cockily.

Barry’s hands wandered down to his slacks. Before he opened them, he let his hands wander over the bulge in Len’s pants, teasing him, because he knew that this was exactly what Len would do to him later. Teasing him, because this was their game, it had always been, and it surely wouldn’t stop just because they shifted their battleground to the bedroom.

Len practically tore his pants off of him and revealed a pair of tight, dark blue boxer briefs. Barry tensed and felt his cock harden, unable to tear his eyes off the sight in front of him.

“Like what you see?” Len smirked.

Barry could only nod.

Len descended again, now a little more carefully again. “You sure you wanna do this?”

Suddenly, all the nervousness he felt every time he was thinking about this too much was back again. “I – yes. I am,” he answered. But judging by the look Len was giving him, he didn’t believe him.

Barry sighed. “It’s just … I’ve never done this before. Not sex in general, I’ve had sex before. Just … not with a man?” He had feared this moment, and although he knew he should fear Len’s reaction, he did.

And surely Len’s eyes widened. “And you want to share this with me?”

Barry nodded. “And before you ask, yes, I am sure. Before you, I’ve never even considered I could be bisexual. There has always been this one girl I’ve been in love with, ever since we were kids. But she and I, we are only friends, and that’s the only thing we’ve ever been. She’s … she’s like my sister. And recently I realized that what I felt was just, in fact, brotherly love. I mean, she was the only friend I had when I was a child, and she was there for me after my mom died. And she believed in me when I said that my father didn’t kill my mom, that there was something else. Or at least I think she believed in me. But now I know that all this between her and me … it had never been anything beyond friendship or sibling love.” He paused tilting his head. Screw this, he thought and continued. He might as well make a complete fool of himself right now.

“And then you came into my life the way you did – not as Captain Cold or as my enemy, but as a person I started to get to know, and I couldn’t … I couldn’t help but simply fall in love. With you. And maybe this is, like, ruining everything now because it’s way too touchy-feely, but I feel like I have to say this. Because yes, Len, I am sure. There’s no one I’d rather do this with, no other man on this planet. And not because you’re good looking or anything, but because I fell for you long before I realized it. So yes, I want to do this with you, because you’re the only person I can image I’d ever want to do this with.”

It was silent for a few moments. But Len didn’t seem to be furious or turned off or anything. He slowly kept caressing Barry, his thumb performing circles on his cheek.

“Barry,” he finally said and pressed a chaste kiss on his lips. He didn’t say anything else after that, but the kiss was full of emotions. The air around them felt as if it was charged, heavy with the now partly outspoken feelings between them. But Len didn’t have to say anything more because Barry understood. Maybe he wasn’t able to respond yet. But at some point in the future, he would be, and Barry would give him all the time he needed.

Len pressed closer against him, his hands tracing down Barry’s sides, down to his boxers where he carefully let his fingers slip beneath the waistband. Barry moaned at the tease because instantly he pulled his fingers out again and resumed the tracing, now upwards.

“I’ll be slow,” Len whispered. “We’re doing this at the pace you feel comfortable with. Okay?”

Barry nodded.

“As soon this is too fast for you, then say stop. I want you to feel good, want it to feel right for you.”

Barry nodded again in agreement.

Len resumed their kiss, and when he slipped his fingers into Barry’s boxers this time, he didn’t pull them out again but continued tracing his skin there, both tender and greedy at the same time. His lips left Barry’s and he placed hot kisses on his body, over his chest and down his stomach, pausing sometimes to suck at his skin and leave a red or violet mark.

Barry moaned as soon as Len’s mouth reached his hips. He felt more sensitive there, maybe because this was so close to his cock, and he was nearly vibrating with anticipation. Len’s hands were still down his boxers, not quite touching him but only millimeters away from his cock, and those few millimeters were a tease enough. Len lifted his head and threw Barry one last ensuring look. His eyes were equally dark as Barry’s probably were, and raw emotion was displayed on his face. No holding back.

Barry gave him a nod, because _yes_ , this was definitely okay, and Len deliberately pulled down his boxer briefs, slowly, inch by inch, and threw them over his shoulder onto the floor. And then slowly, he took Barry’s cock in his hands, wrapping his long fingers around him (and Barry tried hard to not think about what else those beautiful fingers could do – but then again, this thought alone let him harden even more, and this image was just too beautiful and hot and exciting to ban from his mind). He stroked Barry once, twice, before he lowered his head –

Was Len really going to do that?

\- and wrapped his mouth around the head of Barry’s cock.

And oh, _oh_.

Len’s tongue twirled around the head before Len took him in, deeply, both sucking and licking at the same time. And there were no words to describe how amazing that felt. Barry’s hands found Len’s head. He knew better than to push him down, but simply held him, his fingernails scratching over his shaven head. And Len continued, his mouth hot and wet and _oh_ , this was too good. He moaned, not even caring about the volume, breathed out Len’s name in a desperate whisper. Because no matter how good this felt, this was agonizingly slow, and it drove Barry crazy.

“Faster,” he gasped and let out a whine as Len immediately obliged. “Fuckfuckfuck, this feels so good!”

Len hollowed his cheeks around his tip before he looked up and smirked at Barry. “You like it?”

“Yes, Len, oh god, _yes_.” He knew he sounded desperate and needy, but he didn’t care.

Barry felt the pressure inside of him rising as Len continued, now taking him in even deeper, sucking harder. And faster. No one, ever, had given him a blowjob quite like this. Len was a pro, and every move was calculated to pleasure Barry the most. This was perfect. He threw his head back as he let put another moan and a shudder followed. He couldn’t help it, and his whole body started to vibrate before he let out a small cry and came into Len’s mouth much sooner than he’d have liked.

In the aftermath, he lay there, his eyes closed, and panting heavily. This was just for a few seconds, though, before he looked up again. Len was still sitting between his legs, a satisfied smirk on his face. But he was far from satisfied, Barry could tell. His pants were so stretched they looked as if they wanted to burst from the pressure, and his eyes were almost black by now.

Barry reached forward and pulled Len on top of him. “So,” he started, now grinning, “How do you want it? Because this, what you just did to me, definitely deserves rewarding.” He quickly flipped them over so Len was now underneath him, and starting kissing his neck, just behind Len’s ear.

Len moaned. But before he could respond, Barry wandered downwards until he had reached Len’s crotch and pulled off his boxers, revealing a rather impressive length. Barry gulped and his own cock started swelling again with excitement. Grinning, he lowered his head and took Len into his mouth.

Immediately, Len let out a gasp as Barry took him in further and hollowed his cheeks. He had never given someone else a blowjob before but judging by the suppressed noises Len made, he liked it. Barry took him in deeper and deeper, surprised he hadn’t had to gag yet. With one hand, he steadied Len’s dick, making short and swift strokes in addition to his sucking.

“Shit, Scarlet,” Len let out and suppressed another moan. His hands found Barry’s hair.

“How close are you?”

“Very.”

And then Barry had an idea. He lowered his head again, and after a few seconds, he started vibrating his mouth, tongue, and vocal cords and continued to suck his boyfriend off.

“Barry,” Len gasped, and he could hear the desperation. “Please.”

And Barry continued, picking up pace, still vibrating around Len. Len arched his back and pulled at the strands of Barry’s hair. And then he came with a ruffled cry, the hot liquid spilling in Barry’s mouth.

He swallowed Len’s cum, which tasted surprisingly salty, and beamed at him. He heaved himself up and lay down next to his boyfriend, snuggling against him as pulled the blanket over them.

“You liked it?”

“Hell, yes. That vibrating thing you did? That is likely to be the most amazing thing in the world.”

Barry laughed in response.

Len pulled him closer, his arms around Barry now. They remained silent as none of them said a word. Barry could feel the soft bliss of the aftermath and the happiness floating through him as he slowly drove off into sleep.

“Thank you, Barry. For everything.”

“You’re very welcome,” he mumbled.

He heard Len chuckle and felt a soft kiss being pressed to his forehead.

“Happy Christmas, Len,” he said before Len tucked him closer again.

“Merry Christmas.”

 


	19. A New Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry has to find out first-handed how excruciating and embarrassing the morning walk of shame can be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (technically it's already Boxing Day but here it is anyway)

 

 _“That’s why they call me bad company and I can’t deny.” – Bad Company_

 

Christmas Day, 13.15 am, The West’s house

Waking up next to Len was one of the most amazing things in the world, Barry decided.

While he was running home to his family – way too late, but he didn’t regret a single second he had spent at Len’s this morning, and only because he had reminded him that his family would start questioning where he was, Barry had run off reluctantly – he was already thinking of a good excuse to explain to Joe where he had been. Not that he didn’t want to tell his foster dad that he had a boyfriend (that fact would be hard to hide since Len had made sure to leave several red marks on Barry’s neck and collarbone just before he had left) but the fact that he was dating Leonard Snart of all people – no. Barry had, in fact, discussed that with Len earlier this day, and they both had agreed to officially come out as a couple. Just not quite yet.

It was cold outside and the wind was blowing mercilessly. During the night, a few inches of snow had fallen. Now, it looked like Barry was in a winter wonderland, Central City looked magical with the tiny layer of white snowflakes covering each rooftop. Perfect for Christmas morning.

His morning at Len’s had been one of the best he had had so far. Len had been awake before him again, of course, but he hadn’t moved and just waited in bed and had held Barry in his arms until he had managed to wake up, too. And of course, they hadn’t managed to get up immediately, but after they had gotten a little distracted, Len had made him two dozen blueberry pancakes for breakfast. He was spoiling him and Len knew that very well. But Barry enjoyed this over-protective and caring side of Len too much to actually intervene.

After their breakfast, they had gone back to bed again, and things had gotten a little rougher, leaving Barry with said hickeys and blissfully tired after an amazing orgasm. But before Barry could fall asleep again, Len had shushed him out of his apartment with his sarcastic greetings to Joe.

Now, Barry was standing on the porch with his heart pounding loudly in his chest. This was stupid, and he knew it. He could tell Joe everything without him freaking out, as long as it made Barry happy and it wasn’t against the law. Well, Len made him happy – but being with him was, strictly spoken, against the law. For someone working in the law enforcement, having a relationship with a convicted criminal was illegal and might as well cost him his job. Not that Joe would give Captain Singh the dirt on Barry, no. But he wouldn’t exactly be pleased, either.

In his mind, he was already settling for nearly the same explanation he had given Iris, hoping that Joe wouldn’t figure it out. Or maybe the hickeys were gone by now, and he didn’t have to tell him already yet.

He fumbled his keys out of his pockets, careful not to drop the painting. The incredible painting Len had made for him and still left him speechless. He hadn’t known that Len was actually invested in painting himself other than just stealing famous artifacts. But when he looked closer at the design, he could recognize a familiar pattern, similar ways of drawing. This painting did look very alike the tattoos on Len’s body, and there was no doubt they were by the same artist. And the tiny signature in the bottom left corner, just reading “Len” with an equally tiny snowflake next to it, was proof enough.

The door opened with a quiet _click_ , and carefully Barry sneaked inside. Maybe they wouldn’t notice him, maybe he –

“Barry, there you are! You said you would be on time.”

Okay, never mind.

“Yeah, sorry Iris,” he answered and rubbed the back of his neck in nervousness. “We got, ah, a little distracted.” He closed the door behind him and set the painting next to the clothes-stand with the canvas hidden. Because if they’d see the painting, they would know immediately who his boyfriend was.

When he had put his coat on the stand, he turned around to his family. Iris was standing in front of him with her hands on her hips but a playful expression on her face. Joe and Wally were sitting on the couch, and Barry could pinpoint the exact moment when they spotted the hickeys on his neck. Their eyes grew wide, Joe’s in shock and Iris and Wally smirked at him knowingly.

“You might wanna tell me something, son?” Joe addressed him, now in full father mode and his expression a little concerned.

Barry sighed and stepped forwards into the living room. There, he let himself drop into the armchair next to the mantelpiece. Before he looked up to meet their eyes, he fidgeted with his sweater, a sweater he had once again borrowed from Len after he had dutifully given back the last one. This time, it was a light gray one with dark blue lines around the collar and the wrists. It was still too big for Barry, but it smelled so amazingly of Len, he felt like he was being hugged with Len’s arms around him.

“I probably have something to tell you, yes,” Barry answered slowly. It was hard to meet Joe’s eyes, but he tried anyway. He wanted to be honest about this, and if he wanted his father to understand, he shouldn’t seem like he was doing something forbidden. (Although technically, he was.)

“I’ve …” he took in a deep breath and finally met Joe’s dark brown eyes, “I’ve been seeing someone for a few weeks.”

“Obviously,” Joe said with his eyebrows risen and pointed his finger at Barry.

He hadn’t gotten a good look at his neck before he had left the apartment, but judging by Joe’s voice Len had given his all to show that Barry belonged to him. Unwillingly, Barry had to smile. He kind of liked that possessive streak.

“How long already?”

Barry tilted his head and counted in his mind the weeks. “The relationship part three weeks so far,” he said. Has it really been three whole weeks already?

“But, Barry, why haven’t you told me sooner about her?”

Here we go, Barry thought. This was the part that would going to be interesting. Depending on he said now, Joe would either hug him later with those typical bear-hugs like he always did since Barry had been a child, or he would throw him out. “Because first, it’s not a she, and second, you wouldn’t approve of him.”

Joe’s expression immediately grew soft. “Barry, didn’t you tell me about them because you were afraid to tell me it’s a man? You know I don’t care about the gender of your partners as long as they make you happy.”

He shook his head. “Yes, I know. You gave me and Iris that talk several times during our youth, remember?” Because his kids being gay would never be a problem for Joe. But his kids dating criminals …

Joe chuckled at the memory, and Iris’s smile grew fond.

“I remember those times,” Iris said with a laugh. “Especially during that time in high school when you thought I was having a secret girlfriend which, just for the record, I didn’t. I would have told you, you know.” She laughed, and Barry couldn’t help but smile. His family was supportive of him. But he knew they wouldn’t be as soon as they told them who he was dating.

He gulped and looked at Joe again.

“So why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“Because it’s more of who I’m dating. He’s … look, before you think anything wrong of him, let me tell you he makes me happy. Truly happy, and to be honest, I wouldn’t have thought this was possible in the beginning, too. It’s just – I know you wouldn’t like him. The second you’d see him, you’d draw your gun because he’s that kind of guy who looks like trouble.”

“So you’re into bad guys, huh?” Wally said with a cheeky grin.

Barry let out a laugh. “Obviously into very bad guys.”

Joe’s expression turned from cheery into concerned in a second.

“No, Joe, look. He might seem like … like a bad guy to you at the first impression. But after I got to know him, he turned out to be one of the most caring guys I’ve ever known. And he’s funny, and he knows what I do, knows that I’m the Flash. So that isn’t a problem this time and doesn’t destroy the relationship for once. And he supports what I do. He’s … I think it’s hard to describe someone you’re in love with.” He sighed with surely a dreamy expression on his face. He thought about Len again, and how much he loved spending time with him, being with him, being in his arms –

“So you told him about your secret identity?”

“Um, no, he already knew.”

Silence.

Whoops, maybe Barry shouldn’t have said that. It indicated that Barry had known Len before, it was a lead towards his boyfriend’s identity. But what’s done is done, and he couldn’t take back those words now.

“How come he knew?” Wally asked.

“He, um, he said that he was actually pretty obsessed with the Flash – you know, because of what I do for the city, all the saving, and the metahumans and criminals like – like Captain Cold. So when I first met him, he said that the cowl isn’t really effective, so …”

They all simultaneously raised their eyebrows.

“Cute. You’re dating a fan!” Iris said with a smirk.

Oh, I wouldn’t exactly call him a fan, Barry thought but didn’t say it out loud. Because that would, sure enough, give away too much.

“And how did you two meet?”

“We bumped into each other at Jitters. I was a little confused at first because, you know, but then we met again several times and somehow, I fell for him during the process.” His cheeks were burning with heat by now.

“Cute,” Iris stated again.

“And when do we get to meet him?”

Here it was again. “Um,” Barry stuttered, “as soon as I figured out a safe way to tell you who it is without you killing neither me or him?”

“You seriously think that bad of me?” Joe said jokingly but Barry could tell he was tense. He was sitting up on the couch, his hands carefully in his lap but his fingers interlaced. And he had put on the voice he always used when he had to tell his kids something uncomfortable or if he wanted to be exceptionally careful.

“No,” Barry answered, “it’s not that. It’s just … I don’t think that you’re first, and maybe your second and third and even your tenth impression of him will be a good one. Not that he isn’t good! He is. It’s just … he’s special. And knowing you, you’ll probably think he’s not good enough.” He smiled a little, only to reassure Joe. He wasn’t blaming him, he really wasn’t. He knew Joe was just protective of him like he was of his real kids and that he’d fight everybody who would dare to harm him. And Barry knew that this was only a good trait.

“Alright,” Joe answered after forever. “As long as you’re happy, I’m happy too. So better think of a good way to introduce your mystery man fast, okay? I wanna meet him.”

“Yeah, me too,” Iris threw in.

“You will. I promise. When the time is right.”

Joe just nodded.

“Okay, but can we get to opening our presents now? I really wanna know what I got from Jesse.” Wally was sitting on the edge of his seat with a both eager and pained expression.

Barry and Iris burst out laughing, and Joe smiled. The tension in the room eased and Barry relaxed a little. This hadn’t been so bad. From what he figured, Joe hadn’t guessed, hadn’t even a suspicion. That was good.

They all turned towards the Christmas tree and handed each other their presents as they opened them collectively, enjoying the holidays over Joe’s favorite Christmas CD and some eggnog from the previous evening.  

 

***

 

The time they spent opening their presents was actually nice. Barry had gotten a new watch from Joe since he somehow had managed to wreck his old one. In addition to that, he had gotten a greeting card from Captain Singh, wishing him merry Christmas and a happy new year, and the little annual threat to “better be on time the following year”. Barry had the suspicion his boss knew about the new watch.

From Iris, he had gotten a bisexual flag (Barry didn’t even know such a thing existed, but Iris had enlightened him and had told him that there was a special flag for every single sexuality existing). This had caused a surprised “you knew about his boyfriend?” from Joe on which Iris had responded “he’s not very subtle, you know” and had smirked knowingly. Barry had decided to hang the flag up on his door, and secretly, he was more than just happy about this present. He still couldn’t really believe how supportive all of the people in his life were of him.

Wally had gotten him a new book about the use of mechanics in analyzing crime scenes, a new scientific book Barry was looking forward to being published out for months already. It was now resting on his nightstand, waiting to be opened and read.

From Caitlin, he had gotten several packs of self-made cookies, a cooking book (and the additional note reading: “you’re not in college anymore and you can’t keep living off pizza and takeout”) and a few bottles of her newly mixed alcohol with different flavors and a note saying “we three should go to a bar again soon!”.

Harry and Jesse had given him five books from Earth-2 all written by people who weren’t even authors on their earth.

And from Cisco, he had gotten a comic book– a comic book about the Flash, to be exact, because apparently they were now even drawing his heroics, and an entire fan culture had developed around him. This one told his encounter with Heat Wave and Captain Cold out on the streets of Central that had happened around two years ago when Eddie had saved him from the combined beams of their guns. It was actually the time the public found that the Flash existed. And the time when Len had tried to kill Barry. Interesting how times changed.

And yet Barry felt a slight sting in his chest as he thought about it. Len was a dangerous man, there was no denying. He had killed before, and Barry knew the only thing that kept him from doing it again was his truce with the Flash. And Len was still a criminal. He wouldn’t change, and Barry wasn’t so stupid to think he could change him. He knew what Len was, that he was a thief that enjoyed his game, _the adrenaline and the thrill of the chase_ , way too much to ever give that up, not even if he’d ask.

And Barry was the hero. He was the Flash, and he normally arrested people like Len, fought against them and didn’t fall in love with them. The two of them couldn’t be more different, and yet it somehow seemed to work out.

For now. But what if something happened in the future? What if Len and his Rogues robbed a bank or an art gallery again? How was Barry supposed to act? He couldn’t just let them get away with it just because their boss was sleeping with the hero, but he couldn’t exactly throw them into prison either.

Barry sighed. For now, everything was alright between them. But the future would bear threats to their still new relationship, and it would test it in the toughest way possible. And Barry couldn’t help but wonder if they would be able to overcome those problems, those obvious differences. He wanted to, he wanted to so badly. When he thought about Len, he felt happy instantly, and at the same time, he ached to be with him.

It surely wouldn’t be easy.

But he would fight for it anyway.

 


	20. The Sisters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lisa finally wakes up, and Iris is looking to get some answers for herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, how are you? Here comes a new chapter, I hope you'll enjoy it! ♥
> 
> Unfortunately, I won't be able to update as regular as before. I've only got two and a half months of school left, but they're packed with essays and exams. I'll try to write in between, but I can't say how much time I'll have. But I promise I won't abandon this fic! Things might take some time, but I'll finish it eventually. (Although I have made some new plans on where to go with the plot because I feel like it fits so much better ... and spares you a little pain. But just a little.)
> 
> I love you guys, thank you for everything so far! You keep me inspired and are so motivational with your comments and kudos. Thanks a lot! ♥

 

 _“In the chill of your stare, I am painfully lost like a deer in the lights of an oncoming bus.” – All Time Low_

 

Thursday, 5 pm, The Jitters

To be honest, Iris was feeling a little hurt and annoyed with Barry that he really seemed to believe she wouldn’t eventually figure out who he was dating. She wasn’t an investigative reporter for nothing, after all. But then again, dating Captain Cold was a bit of a huge secret, so some part of her could sympathize with Barry.

The first clues that had left her suspicious had been Barry’s first description of him, right after his night out. Because something like _loves to make silly puns, has a bad boy image with an icy exterior_ (which already was a pun itself, and while thinking about it now, Iris didn’t know if to giggle or to groan) and the fact that Barry’s not-so-mystery man was nearly a decade older were not very subtle hints. And then, when Barry had come home after Christmas Eve and had held this absolutely stunning painting in his hands, it had clicked.

Frankly, she wasn’t entirely sure what to think of all of this. Leonard Snart surely was a handsome man, even male model like and she didn’t judge Barry in the slightest for being physically attracted to someone looking like that. But there was still the fact that he was still Captain Cold, a thief and probably even some kind of mob boss with a high position in the criminal hierarchy of Central City’s underground. And the fact that he was a killer, and had already proved in the past what lengths he would go to push Barry, to get to him … So yes, maybe she was a little reserved and suspicious towards him. But she had every right to.

Although Barry did seem happier over the last few weeks, always a faint smile on his lips and his eyes shining brightly. It seemed as if Snart had managed that Barry opened up, let himself live rather than just exist. And as long as he made him happy, Iris couldn’t really object to anything. Although that remained to be seen.

Barry, of course, was still completely oblivious to the fact that Iris knew. And she had decided to keep it that way, give Barry as much time as he needed to fully come clean eventually. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t go see Snart and have a little chat with him about Barry. Because if she was the only one who knew – and she was pretty sure she was, although maybe Cisco and Caitlin knew, but if that would be the case, the two of them had done a pretty good job of keeping Barry’s secret (again) – no one so far had given Cold the shovel talk. And he so deserved one.

Iris’ day had been quiet, the stories she had to write articles about hadn’t been all too spectacular. She was still working on something happening in Keystone, she suspected that a certain high-ranked businessman had something to do with the Bozza family (yet another crime syndicate in Central, yay) and got a lot of his money from illegal gun trafficking with them, but she still had too little evidence so far. For now, however, she was able to plan her evenings without working overtime every day of the week.

That still left her with the problem that she didn’t know where Snart lived, or if he even had an apartment he used as his personal hideout other than countless safe-houses. So after she had left Central City Picture News, she had gone to Jitters to get a late afternoon coffee with a cinnamon bun, waiting for Felicity’s reply. Because if someone could find the location of someone who didn’t want to be found, then it was Felicity Smoak.

Once again, Iris was more than glad that Barry had introduced the two of them because Felicity wasn’t just extremely smart and pretty, but she was also a really good friend. The two of them had stayed in contact since the women of both Team Flash and Team Arrow had to stick together.

While she was sitting in one of the more comfortable armchairs she stared out of the window and let her mind wander.

In Iris’ mind, it was still hard to think of Leonard Snart as Barry’s boyfriend, or of someone’s boyfriend in general. The only time she had gotten to meet him in person he had been his whole Cold persona, all collected and tough. But then again maybe he had cared about Barry even then already, warning him from Jesse and Mardon. But one good deed didn’t redeem all the bad things he had done in his life, only a few months before that, Snart had tried to kill Barry.

But if Barry truly loved him, there had to be something in him that was worth loving, worth saving maybe. She tried not to be judgmental and see how Captain Cold would react, how he would answer her questions. And then she could make up her mind about approving of him or not.

The buzzing of her phone pulled her out of her thoughts. Iris glanced at the screen, and a new message of Felicity popped up. Finally, Iris thought. Carefully, she typed the address into Google Maps and texted Felicity her thank yours which she replied with a knowing smirk-emoji.

Iris hadn’t told her who Barry was dating, just that this someone needed to be reminded not to hurt Barry if he didn’t want to get into trouble with his sister or his friends, on which the blonde had answered that Oliver would definitely come and kick them in the ass (because Iris hadn’t told her about Barry’s bisexuality either. This was Barry’s business only.)

Iris emptied her coffee and left Jitters. Snart’s apartment (so he actually had something of a normal person inside of him!) was around twenty minutes away from Jitters if she walked quickly, but she didn’t mind the extra exercise. On her way, she had time to go over her questions again, because no way Snart would get away with a simple “you hurt my brother and I’ll kill you”. Oh no, she would make him squirm. She wanted the truth, the truth behind all this. Because although Barry seemed to really like this man, maybe even love him, Iris was still suspicious of Snart’s motives. Knowing the guy, he could be just playing with Barry’s feelings, trying to get to him in some kind of evil master plan.

The apartment building was on the outer edge of Central City standing on a hill with an amazing view over the city. Without much preamble, she stepped inside and took the elevator until she was on the seventh floor, looking for apartment 717. Not long until she found it.

Suddenly, a nervousness she hadn’t felt before crept in. This was still Captain Cold they were talking about, not some ordinary man. For the first time maybe, it struck her that this might be dangerous. Not that Snart would hurt her. He surely knew how upset Barry would be, and if he valued Barry the same Barry valued him, he would refrain from doing so.

This slight fear was stupid, she told herself and took a last, deep breath. Then she knocked at the door with, making the same face she did when interviewing someone which Linda referred to as ~~strongly~~ slightly intimidating. It didn’t even take five seconds until the door was opened, just by a few inches so only Snart’s face was visible through the gap. Surprise flickered over his face but he quickly caught himself again, raising an eyebrow and his trademark smirk settled on his face.

“Miss West,” he said in his sardonic, drawling voice, “Gotta be honest, I was expecting your brother. But please, come in.” He opened the door, his eyes now gleaming challenging.

Iris lifted her chin and stepped inside. “He’s still at work,” she commented as she took a look around Snart’s apartment – and was immediately surprised by how much style the man had. Just the right mix of vintage and classic.

“Right, it’s still too early, he usually doesn’t come before seven.”

Now it was Iris’ turn to raise her brows. So Snart was expecting she knew about them. Even better. She now took a good look at the man standing in front of her. Snart was dressed actual, with a gray pair of trousers and a black V-neck sweater. Hell, he was definitely good looking. No wonder why Barry was so smitten with him while he looked like _this_. The indication for that was just peeking from the collar of Snart’s sweater and on the side of his neck in the form of several, dark lilac hickeys. He didn’t even try to hide them.

“I’m actually here to talk about him,” she said and put as much confidence in her voice as possible, “because at least someone has to inform you of the consequences you’ll face as soon as you hurt him just the slightest.”

“So you’re here to give me the shovel talk?” He seemed amused, the smirk still playing around his lips.

“You could call it that. I’d call it ‘making sure Snart doesn’t pull anything so I don’t have to come and get my hands dirty and upset Barry because I murdered him’.”

“Ahh.”

To his defense, he didn’t even say it in that self-assured tone he had used Christmas last year. He sounded like a normal guy, trying not to get his boyfriend’s sister’s talk to get to him.

Gracefully, Iris strode forward and planted herself down on the backrest of the couch. She was smaller than Snart anyway, but like this, she could demonstrate that if Snart thought this talk would be over quick, he was wrong. “So,” she said and tried to color her voice equally cold, “tell me, Snart. What exactly are your intentions with my brother?”

“I figured he told you that we are dating.”

“Yes, I know that. What I meant is why? Because if this is a way for you to only get to him so you can break him although you must know how much he cares about you, hoping he’ll leave you do your heists in the future, then you’ll have a serious problem with me.”

He shook his head and wandered towards the kitchen where he sat down on a high barstool. He was trying to look comfortable, as if this conversation wasn’t bothering him in the slightest, Iris could tell. But his sweater was a little too tight to hide how he was sitting there nearly rigid, his shoulders tense.

“For what’s worth, I’ll be honest with you. I know what it means to incur a sister’s wrath. I know you surely don’t approve of me as your brother’s boyfriend, thinking he deserves so much better. And it’s true, he does. He deserves someone less scarred, with a better lifestyle, a stable life. Someone who is as good and amazing as he is. But for reasons also unknown to me, he chose me. And I care about him. Deeply. I know I haven’t been the best person in the past, and especially not treated him with the respect he deserves. But I will, from now on.”

“And how am I supposed to know that this,” Iris made a dismissive gesture, pointing at Snart with one eyebrow risen, “isn’t just all an act? An act to con me, making sure I don’t tip the CCPD off about your location and you’re not lying straight at my face?”

“Fair enough. You don’t have any reason to believe, let alone trust me.” He sighed and broke the eye contact and stared his hands folded in his lap. “You asked why. If Barry told you, he surely told you why he and I started to … spent time with each other?”

“He didn’t tell me, to be exact. I found out because he’s crap at keeping secrets.”

Snart let out a laugh, and his face lit up in genuine affection which left Iris amazed and startled. Maybe this guy did care about Barry. “Yes, he truly is,” he said with a tilt of his head. “I came to Barry to ask for his help. Someone …” he paused as if weighing the risk of telling Iris everything. Well, he better decided to do exactly that.

“The cold gun was stolen from me and Lisa was hurt. She’s in the hospital now, just woke up from a five-months-long coma. I asked for Barry’s help to get the gun back and he agreed.”

Iris’ heart clenched in sympathy, and she took a closer look at Snart. His expression didn’t waver, he was still seeming cold and emotionless. It was his eyes, however, that gave him away, heavy with emotion. Grief, guilt and the look of hope that had long been lost.

But still, something didn’t quite sound right. “You need help to steal something back?” she asked him, unconvinced. A thief like Leonard Snart didn’t need help _stealing_ something.

He let out an exhausted sigh. “I didn’t need his help to steal the cold gun, I can do that myself. I needed his help to keep me in check. Because that bastard hurt my sister, and all I wanted to was to track him down and put an icicle through his heart or a bullet between his eyes. But another part of me couldn’t do that. I …” He paused again, thinking if he could risk revealing so much about him. His eyes flickered towards Iris, but as soon as she caught his gaze, he broke the eye contact again.

But Snart wouldn’t get away so easily. “Yes? You couldn’t do it because?”

“The guy who has my gun was once my boyfriend. That night, I had to think of him again after almost eighteen years. Asked me why he did that, how he found me. And I remembered how he was like when we met, and I was reminded of Barry in so many ways. Also caring, naïve, too good for this world. And convinced I was a good person.” He made a dismissive gesture.

“What happened?”

“I killed his family.”

Iris sucked in her breath.

“My father threatened Lisa’s life, and I couldn’t let him take her away. She was the only good thing in my life then, the light at the end of the tunnel. So I followed his orders, did what he wanted to keep my sister safe.” His voice had grown hard and a little sardonic towards the end with so much suppressed anger lying underneath. His expression was neutral again, cold even. A spark of sympathy rose in Iris as she watched him sitting there, still not meeting her eyes but focusing on the wall behind her back.

“I haven’t Barry told this part. He still thinks I only deceived Nero – which, to be exact, I did. But I couldn’t find it in me to tell him the truth. Couldn’t face the truth, that I was a monster and see that truth clearly displayed on his face.”

“I understand,” Iris said. And she really did.

Her brain was still screaming not to trust Leonard Snart, don’t trust him no matter what he was saying, but deep in heart she already did. His emotions were real, the pain and the guilt. Clearly, he had loved that man once. And he loved his sister, more than anything.

“So I went to Barry to ask for his help, not actual help for the heist, but emotional help. I needed to be reminded I could do this, do the right thing for once, especially I couldn’t do it in the past. I wouldn’t be any good for my sister when I’d been locked up in Iron Heights for murder again. Lisa needs me, and I need her. I knew this would going to be like a roller coaster, and somehow for some sentiment I can’t even explain, I felt like I couldn’t do this alone. Not with Mick, either. It was like a voice inside my head was screaming ‘ask Barry Allen for help’. Of course, I haven’t told him that either.”

“And then you two started planning and fell for each other during the process,” she said.

Snart nodded.

“I guess I do understand all this a little better now,” she responded cautiously. “But that still doesn’t stop me from emasculating you once you hurt Barry. And trust me when I say this isn’t an empty threat but something that’ll become very real when – if you fuck this up.” She didn’t miss how Snart had flinched at her use of ‘when’. “You’ve got one shot at this before me and a whole armada come crashing through this door to make you pay. Barry might not be my brother by blood but that doesn’t mean I love him as such.”

“Duly noted,” Len said, only with a hint of a smirk on his lips. He looked serious, though, his features apprehensively.

“Glad we understand each other, Snart.”

“I’d ask you to call me by my first name but I believe it’s still a little early for that.”

“Give it a few weeks and then ask me again. Also, you guys should figure out on how to tell Joe because he’s already getting quite impatient to finally meet his son’s boyfriend.”

“Give it a few weeks,” he replied with a cocky grin.

Iris just nodded and pushed up from the couch. She definitely had spent enough time here, her work was done and Snart had gotten the message. She made her way towards the door, but before she exited, she turned around again and fixed Snart with her eyes. (He had actually very pretty blue eyes.)

“Treat him right. Treat him better than anyone before you so nobody has a reason to get homicidal.”

“I will,” he promised. And he seemed to mean it, his eyes twinkled with a fierce determination.

Iris offered him a last smile before she stepped out of the apartment and into the hallway, closing the door behind her.

Well, this had actually gone quite good, she thought and took the stairs downstairs. As soon as she was outside and near the main street, she called a cab to get her home. Let’s just hope Snart meant it and would keep his promise.

 

 

7 pm, St. Andrews Hospital

It was such a pain in the ass that Lisa had not only missed Christmas and New Year’s Eve with her brother and Mick, but also five fucking months. _Five months_ while she had been lying comatose in a freaking hospital because she got hit by Lenny’s stupid cold gun just because she wanted to stop an intruder. And that was the most embarrassing part, because she hadn’t even thought about pulling her own gun to cover this bastard in gold, but attacked him with her bare hands. Because Len thought that she shouldn’t use her gun again before she hadn’t cleaned it in the morning. Fucking hell.

The last thing she remembered was an indescribable agony, so much pain. The beam hat hit her face, her chest, her arms, nearly all of her upper body. She didn’t even know if she screamed or directly fell unconscious after a few seconds of pain. It hurt more than any lesson from their father, more than any burning she had gotten when Mick had gotten carried away with his fire, more than any gunshot or stab wound she had suffered over the years.

She let her gaze wander towards the window. It was late January, and it was cold outside. Although the snow apparently never seemed to cease to fall, it was, in fact, pretty. During those rare moments where the sun was shining its beams made the white coat sparkle as if the whole world was covered in thousand little diamonds. But Lisa couldn’t bring it up to be enjoy the weather because firstly, she had only woken up a few hours ago, finding Len at her bedside who had seemed as if he wanted to burst into tears. She wasn’t allowed to step a foot outside, but more importantly, it was still bone-shaking cold there. And she had enough of cold for the rest of her life.

The doctors had been kind to her and totally oblivious who she was. Lenny had given them a false name – Lisa Smith, and although this wasn’t very creative, she knew why he had done this. Lisa Smith was the way to end it all, the way to come clean eventually, her safe identity. Endgame. They had already long ago created funds and trusts under false names (Len went by Leonard Wynters which was definitely not subtle, but he had always loved his mother’s maiden name). Lisa’s own mother’s name was ordinary and common so they had decided to take that one as hers as well.

The doctors had told her she had suffered from severe tissue damage and internal bleeding on top of the several degrees of frostbite. She had just been lucky that she hadn’t been hit in the face with that damn gun because that would have caused a lot more damage.

She sighed and picked a slice of apple from her dinner. Hospital food was never very good tasting but the doctors had made it clear she needed to stay at least another week to make sure the healing process was going fine, and after that she still would have to drop by every week for at least another month. She sighed again. Maybe Lenny had another heist planned for that time because she was already bored from those few hours just sitting on her bed. She didn’t want to imagine how the next week was supposed to go.

“Hey, sis,” Len’s voice interrupted her thoughts. She turned towards the door and saw her brother striding through the room, his usual swagger in his steps and his trademark smirk in place. He did look good, Lisa noticed. He somewhat seemed happy, content, and although she had expected dark circles under his eyes and a wary look, none of it was there.

“Hey, Lenny,” she said with a sweet smile.

Len sat down on the chair beside her bed and immediately took her left hand in his. “How are you?”

“Better. They gave me food, talked to me about the stuff I was allowed to do and what I wasn’t – and honestly, they’re no fun. I gotta stay here for a while. As if five months aren’t enough.” She rolled her eyes, causing Len to chuckle quietly.

Okay, something was definitely up. Normally, Len did not chuckle.

“It’s just for a few more days, Lise. Stay cool.”

“Oh, no, I didn’t wake up so one of the first things you say to me is one of your stupid cold puns.” She feigned a groan. “Rather tell me about those months I’ve missed. Surely something must’ve happened over that time.” Now it was her turn to smirk.

“Nothing, really. Could hardly hit a new target without my gun, could I?”

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. So the guy who had broken into his apartment was still breathing? “How come you don’t have your gun back?”

“Things didn’t quite go as planned when I tried to get it back,” he answered, trying to dodge her question.

So something was up. “Lenny,” she said with a dangerous edge in her voice. “Tell me what freaking happened. You have that look on your face so don’t even try to fool me.”

“What look?”

“The ‘Lisa must not find out I did something stupid’-look.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” he answered with an innocent pout.

Lisa gritted her teeth. “Leonard Snart, you better tell me what the fucking hell happened and what you have done before I’ll make you.”

He let out an exaggerated sigh and leaned back on the chair. “Fine,” he drawled out. “You remember Nero Fitzgerald?”

“You mean this boyfriend you had just after I got into high school, whose family you shot?” Hell yes, she remembered.

“Yes, him.”

“What about him?”

He let out an annoyed sigh again. “He was the one who broke into my apartment and stole my cold gun.”

For a second, it was completely silent. Then –

“Are you kidding me? You have got to be kidding me!”

“Unfortunately not. Apparently, he wants revenge for what I did.” He drawled those words out as if it didn’t matter.

Lisa huffed, “no wonder why. I told you before that that was a dick move. And karma will come back to you eventually.”

“Thanks for the reminder.”

“You’re welcome.”

They fell silent as Len put off his coat and the blue scarf Lisa had gotten him last Christmas. Underneath he was wearing gray jeans and combat boots and this black sweater he seemed to love.

Lisa suddenly gasped sharply. “Leonard Snart! Are those hickeys?” she hissed, not sure if she should be proud of her brother or pissed he hadn’t told her right away. But then again, he was getting laid, finally again after some time. This should do wonders.

“I think that’s what you call it when someone sucks on your skin and leaves a bruise.”

“Don’t be such a smartass with me, Lenny.” She smacked him playfully on the arm and smirked wickedly as he saw how he blushed.

Len _blushed_. This person seemed to be someone special. Could it possibly be …?

“First, Lenny, screw you for telling me nothing happened over those five months. Now I wanna hear everything, every single juicy detail about them.”

Len let out an exaggerated sigh but did as she asked. And by the end of the story, Lisa was literally speechless for a few moments. And her head buzzed. And she was pretty sure by know she knew who Len’s boyfriend was.

“So basically you screwed up a relationship in the past, the guy wants revenge, you asked another cute guy to help you out and fell for him during the process.”

“That feels like an oversimplification, but yes.”

“And your cute little boyfriend – Barry was his name, right? He happens to be a badge.”

“A CSI, to be exact.”

She waved her hand at him. “Same thing. Still a good guy.”

“The best,” Len said and smiled. And his hard and controlled mask dropped for a second, his features grew soft and his eyes filled with honest affection.

“Gosh, Lenny,” Lisa said and rolled her eyes. “I expect you to introduce me to him as soon as I get out of here. And his lovely sister and friends. And I expect you to be less of an overprotective idiot when it comes to me and Cisco.”

“Just because I decided to have a relationship which is a bad idea concerning our lifestyle, that doesn’t mean you have to get all your hopes up only to be disappointed.”

“Cisco is one of the good guys, too” Lisa pointed out. And honestly, he had no right to be hypocritical.

“He’s a gentleman, in fact,” she added and batted her eyelashes at her brother like she always did when she wanted to make other people give her what she wanted. “And besides, it’s only fair. If you get to date the Flash, I can at least try my best with his cute science friend.”

Len paled immediately, his eyes widening, but he caught himself quickly again. Lisa smirked mischievously.

“I –” Len started and he sounded as if he was trying desperately to sound normal and put-together, “I’m not dating the Flash. Didn’t you listen?”

“Oh, I did listen very closely to what you said. Hazel eyes, nice lips, tall and lanky. Nice ass. The best one of the good guys. Leaves only one conclusion for me.”

Len looked struck and Lisa laughed, rolling her eyes at her brother. “You cannot honestly expect me not to make that connection. And I bet the dear Miss West made that connection, too.”

“She did,” Len grumbled. “Came to my apartment just before I got here and made perfectly clear that if I ever hurt Barry, she will personally come and kill me.”

“She and I should meet sometime,” Lisa said, considering, “she sounds like fun.”

Len just rolled his eyes at her.

She sighed and squeezed his hand. “Tell me more about you two. I wanna know if he treats you right.” Because Len playing nice was one thing, but nobody got to date her brother if they were complete assholes and treated him as if he was something lesser. Lenny had gone through too much crap in his life to deserve something like that.

“We’re only together for a few weeks, you know.”

“It’s already longer than a month, which is way above the average duration of your relationships. He’s important to you. And judging by that look you keep getting, you’re absolutely smitten by him. So, tell me. I’m your sister, I deserve to know. Especially when this someone makes so happy like I haven’t seen you being in years.” She let her thumb run circles over the back of his hand, her way to show him she’d be there for him.

“Brat,” Len let out and rolled his eyes in this annoyed fashion of his once again. “But fine, if you must know.

“Barry is … he is something special. He is like light, this bright, warm light that started to fill my life. I know, it’s always been about the game, and since the Flash is there, it’s become greater and so much more exciting. During those last few months, I got to spent time with him, other than making him show up at a heist. Sure, all this banter’s always been nice –”

“Banter that’s always just millimeters away from crossing the line to flirting,” Lisa said under her breath.

Len glared at her but continued. “But since I got to get to know him better, it’s different. It’s still a game, sure, especially in bed –”

“Spare me the details, please. Although … now as I think about it, with his speed … The sex surely must be good.”

Len chuckled again. “Better than just good. Actually, the best sex I ever got. And his blowjobs … It’s hard to not lose my cool.”

“Lenny!”

He smirked but seemed overly satisfied with himself. And just a moment later, his expression grew fond again. “But it’s also more than just that. He … he thinks that I’m a good person. And although I know I’m definitely not, he makes want something more. Something better. And he makes me think that this is actually possible.” He let out a sigh again and his face got that completely loving expression. “I could never let him down. Ever. I want him to be happy. Being with him, seeing him happy makes me happy. Even the things I’ve never thought I could like, as spending an evening together just eating Thai food and watching movies.”

“Wow, that surely is one of the sappiest things I’ve heard my entire life.” She paused, and let her voice grew warm for a second. “Do you love him?” she asked. She had to know.

Len considered that for a second before he answered, “yes, I do, Lise.”

And he seemed so honest, so absolutely love-struck by this guy who had put him behind bars several times already, who Len had tried to kill in the past. But Barry Allen seemed to love her brother as much as he loved him, and he seemed good. Good for Len, because he was a gentleman, like Cisco. Good, because he knew every broken part of Len and still chose him. He made Len question his own morals, those twisted morals their father had pressed into them, which she doubted herself but had learned to accept because it had been the only way to survive. Being hard and fearless and living like they did had gotten them this far in their life. It was necessary to survive. Had always been so far up to this point.

They knew they were forced to live this life until they’d die, might it be in their sleep when they were old and gray, or in prison, or simply because they stood at the wrong end of a gun barrel. Both Lisa and Len had long ago given up their hope of a better life, a life where they didn’t have to constantly watch their backs, upping their game, getting better at what they did. They had given up their dream of normalcy and happiness.

But with Barry Allen, it seemed, Len could allow himself to dwell on all these things they had stopped dreaming about. He could have a different life with someone who truly loved him. Barry Allen was Len’s Cisco.

All those years ago, he had always refused to start a proper relationship. To Lisa, he had always said that he hadn’t any real feeling for any of them, weren’t his type other than for one night. He had shut himself off from other people and never let himself develop feelings for someone else. Because feelings and emotions were bad, they could risk you your life. But now, with the Flash – it was different. It had been different since the Flash had appeared, because as Mick had once pointed out so correctly, Len didn’t worry anymore about a perfectly planned heist. No, he did love a good heist, but he considered every heist where the Flash didn’t show up as a failed one, even if they got the price. He never said it but his eyes had always told the truth about what he was feeling.

Lenny had always been obsessed about the Flash. It was only logical that the only person who’d manage to make Len feel, allowing emotions and real, deep feelings, was the kid underneath that tight red leather suit.

“Just don’t fuck this up, alright?”

Len didn’t answer, and his expression shifted. For someone who didn’t know him, they wouldn’t even have noticed. But Lisa did.

“Oh my god, Lenny, what did you do?”

“A mistake.”

“Then fix it!” God, how could he be so fucking stupid? “I’ve never seen you like this for years, Len. Never this happy and … content. So whatever you did that can jeopardize your relationship with Barry, go fucking fix it.”

And he let out the most broken, most defeated sigh Lisa had ever heard her brother make.

“This isn’t something I can fix, Lisa. I’m too deep in, and even if I manage … Barry’ll get hurt. Or worse, he’ll die and has to pay for the mistakes I did in the past.”

She felt as if her heart was sinking to her boots. “So it has something to do with Nero.”

“Yes.”

Lisa could feel the fury boil up in her. Honestly, if Nero wanted revenge then it was Len’s own fault. But he playing along, giving him what he needed … It reminded her too much of their father. And since he was dead, nobody should be able to put Len in such a tight spot, forcing him to do things he didn’t want so just his loved ones could stay safe.

“Tell me about it. Now. And then we’ll see how we can fix this.”

“There’s no possible way.”

Lisa smiled with a fierce determination in her eyes. “Where there’s a will there’s a way.”

And Len sighed and started talking.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can check out my [tumblr](http://www.itsbrookeks.tumblr.com/) if you want! If you have any questions or suggestions or just want to talk about something, I'll be there :)
> 
> Okay and I need to rant a little: I'm kinda pissed at how the show is currently portraying Iris. I mean, she is such a strong woman with so much to offer, always there to help other people, she's brave, caring, and selfless. But currently, I feel like the writers keep forgetting this part of Iris and merely focus on her relationship with Barry. I know Barry has been in love with her for, like, forever, but even over the first two seasons she was more than just his love interest. She was important, had an important role. And now, all she seems to be is Barry's girlfriend. I don't know, maybe you see things different. I'm not trying to tear down Westallen as a ship although they're my NOTP, I'm fine with people shipping them. I just don't agree with Iris' portrayal at the moment on the show.
> 
> Anyway, rant done :) I hope you liked that chapter. Tell me what you think! xxx


	21. You Are The Only Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Len comes clean, but the outcome is not the one he anticipated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys!  
> So I'm back with a new chapter after what felt like forever. School's been busy, and I was struck down with the flu, so sorry for the little delay. (I planned on finishing this way earlier but oh, well.) Enjoy it anyway!  
> Oh, and I now finished outlining the plot of the remaining chapters and turns out there'll probably one chapter more than originally planned. As long as I stick to the new plan now.
> 
> I love you guys and thank you so much for everything! You're simply the best. ♥

 

 _“I_ _knew I loved you then but you'd never know ‘cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go.” – James Arthur_

 

Tuesday, 11.07 am, safe house number 7

It’s been another twelve days until Lisa was finally allowed to leave the hospital. She had grown more and more unbearable for the doctors, being as she was until they had finally given their okay under the condition she’d check in every week from now on to see if she was healing fine and if everything was under control. And of course, she had been immediately meddling with Len’s business.

Len had visited her every day and told her about what was happening outside in the real world – which had been nothing important so far, really. He had been seeing Barry nearly every evening of the week when he had slipped inside Len’s apartment after his work or his Flash patrols. He had even been staying over two times, too tired to get home, too exhausted from his work and hero duties, and surely too exhausted from his nightly activities with Len. Not that he minded, though. Secretly (or maybe not so secretly as Lisa kept pointing out because it had never been more obvious that he was in love) he loved the feeling he got when they fell asleep next to each other and when he saw Barry in bed next to him in the morning, too.

Something about this kid had made him drop all his pretenses, his façade, his mask. When he was with Barry, he didn’t have to pretend.

He had told Lisa that much. Heck, he had practically told Iris West how much he cared about her not-so-quite-brother. Under different circumstances, with a different person, he would never have gone so far. He’d just have smirked his way through a shovel talk, sure of himself and revealing nothing of his intentions. And, to be exact, he hadn’t even planned on telling Iris the truth why he had asked Barry for his help so many weeks ago, or even telling her about Nero, or about he never wanted to let Barry down. But when the girl had looked at him as if she wanted to challenge him he hadn’t been for the love of God been able to fight the urge of telling her everything. He had actually wanted her approval, wanted her to understand and know how much he cared about Barry.

And with Lisa, well … He hadn’t wanted to tell her at all. At least, not quite yet. But she had worn an equally challenging and daring look and Len wouldn’t have been able to hide something so big and important from her anyway. And despite his former doubts, she was, in fact, able to help him and she had lifted a weight from his shoulders he didn’t know had been so huge.

Which is why the two of them were currently in one of the Rogue’s safehouses, an abandoned warehouse on the outer side of Central City. They moved safe houses every once in a while, mainly to distract the cops in case one of them ever found out where they hid and to keep away from too much trouble caused by one of Central’s (surprisingly mainly Italian) crime families. And, well, here was the obvious plus that Len could simply go to another safe house, away from where his Rogues were staying if he wanted to have a little bit of undisturbed quiet.

Len, Mick, and Lisa had long ago started to decorate and furnish all of their nine warehouses to make them look more like a home. Each one had a kitchen and a bathroom, some of them even a few bedrooms and living spaces with a TV and Netflix. They had converted safe house five into a training hall so it resembled a gym. The other hall in that warehouse was changed into a field perfectly suited for target practice which was thanks to Hartley’s help a lot more advanced than any target practice the police did. Maybe even more advanced than the military’s.

Len’s favorite safehouse was the seventh one, maybe because he hadn’t told any of his Rogues this one existed and only Mick and Lisa knew of its existence. Which was why he was currently there, pouring over various blueprints lying on the table while Lisa sat on the couch, her feet over the backrest.

“Lenny, please tell me you’re close to done by now.”

He rolled his eyes. “Nearly.”

“What’re you doing exactly, anyway? It’s not the first time you plan a heist there, you should know every angle, exit, security shifts and God knows what else by heart now. And you did your planning with Barry already.” She sounded as if she was pouting.

“The plan with Barry had been a completely different one. Never meant to be an actual heist, but this one is. And it needs to be done perfectly without anyone noticing I was even there,” he reminded her. But she was right. He knew the place by heart now, not only every secret exit and hidden camera, but also how much time it would take when the alarms were tripped until the signal would reach the police and how much longer they’d need to be at the scene from the nearest precinct. He knew there were only two guards patrolling the corridor where the “Gems of the World” was held, a pretty lash security in Len’s opinion for so many high-priced and valuable gems. There were still the proximity alarms and video cameras, but those could be tricked, too, he already had experience with that.

Len knew everything there was to know about the place. Carefully, he started folding the blueprints and put them at the far end of the table.

“Finally,” Lisa let out and swung her legs off the couch. She walked towards him, flicking her hair back with an air of arrogance. But Len knew better. She was still not in her top form, still feeling a little weak despite her attempts to not let him see that.

She was just hopping on top of the table when Len heard the door of the safe house open. Immediately, both Lisa and Len stilled, both reaching for their guns and pointing them towards the entrance to the main room. No words were needed as Lisa carefully slid down the table again and tiptoed quietly towards the wall, hiding from direct view as Len took position on the opposite side.

Len held his gun ready, his finger on the trigger. It was irritating how different this gun felt in his hands compared to his cold gun. Oh, how much he missed it, especially in moments like this. He missed the pure cold emitting from the gun’s cold core, the chills it sent up his arm, and the rush of adrenaline he felt every time he picked it up and heard it wire to life, the surge of feeling powerful that would rush through him.

But this gun would have to do against the intruder.

Loud, thumping steps were heard from the entrance, sounding vaguely familiar. And yes –

“No need to chicken out, it’s just me,” Mick’s low rumble sounded through the room, just seconds before he stepped into view. Len let out a breath and put his gun back into its holster, clearly relieved. He hated to admit it, but without his cold gun, he almost felt naked.

“Mick!” Lisa almost squealed as she caught sight of him and jumped forward, right into the pyro’s arms and crashed him into a bone-shattering hug.

Mick helplessly patted her back until she let go. “Heard you’re out of the hospital. You’re better?”

“I’m fine,” she said and made a dismissive hand gesture.

“Good,” Mick grunted and stalked towards the kitchen and coming back again with a beer in his hand. Len sat down at the table, folding the rest of his plans. The plan for Nero only involved him, Lisa, and Nero so far, although bringing his sister in still left a sour feeling in his stomach. She was still weak. But she deserved as much of a chance of payback as he did.

“What’cha planning, Snart? Another heist?” Mick leaned against the table and eyed the blueprints. Well, maybe there was a way she didn’t have to involve Lisa after all. Since she was just meant as backup anyway …

“Yes. Museum heist, so no moving target this time, unfortunately.”

“Please,” Lisa said from the couch again, “it’s not as much as a heist as a plan from my side to save your sorry ass.” Mick expression changed from excited to confused and Lisa added, “Lenny managed to jeopardize his relationship by making a deal behind his boyfriend’s back and actually wanted to hold that deal.”

“Lise,” he shot her warningly. Mick did not need to know about this. Lisa just stuck her tongue out at him and threw him a look as if to say _your fault when you do stupid things and have me help you handle them_. Yeah, Len was already (partly) regretting his decision to ask for her help.

Mick’s head shot around and he gave Len an unimpressed look. “Idiot,” he said and Len rolled his eyes.

“And from what I heard, they’re awfully good for each other. He’s keeping my brother laid and Lenny is smiling over his texts, Mick. So I decided I needed to help out.”

“So you lied about this kid not being your boyfriend.” He looked at Len as if this was somehow all his fault. (It was, but that was another point.)

“Barry wasn’t my boyfriend back then,” he said.

“Wait, he _knows_? He knew before me?” Lisa sounded scandalous. She got up from the couch and walked towards Len with murder in her eyes. To everybody else, this would have been more than intimidating, but not to him. He barely managed not to roll his eyes again.

“No, sis, he doesn’t know about _that_ part.”

“Duh,” Lisa just said but loosened her stiff composure immediately. “Good.”

They fell silent for a moment and Len got his plans out again. Time to make it perfect, so there would be no way this could go wrong.

“What deal did you make, anyway? And with who?” Mick asked him after a while with a suspicious look in his eyes.

“Nero Fitzgerald threatened Barry and his family alongside with you, Lisa, and the Rogues if I don’t follow his orders, steal the Rose of the North for him and betray Barry.”

If the atmosphere in the room had been completely relaxed before, now it was not. Mick’s mood flickered from nonchalance to anger within less than a second, and he stared at Len with fury in his eyes. It was surprising he didn’t pull his gun and started burning something.

“That bastard!” He slammed his hand on the table with a loud bang.

“Mick.” This table was new. Len didn’t need it broken again just because Mick lost his temper.

“You said you got the whole thing covered! So why is he still breathing?”

“I promised both Barry and the Flash I wouldn’t kill him or anyone else unless explicitly necessary. And, well, at first I thought I could somehow agree to his conditions as well as double cross him at the same time. Turns out I can't without risking everyone’s lives.”

“You’re such an idiot, you know that?”

“Exactly what I told him,” Lisa said pointedly.

“I wanna get to know your boy-toy when this is over, just FYI. So tell me the plan and let’s get to burn something.”

Len considered this for a moment. Having Mick in meant he didn’t have to bother Lisa and she could rest a little longer. On top, she wouldn’t be an easy target for Nero and wasn’t likely to get hit with the cold gun again. And Mick, with the heat gun, could do wonders against the cold. Maybe this wasn’t such a stupid idea and maybe even a better solution. He might not even have to bother the Flash and could get this done easily.

“Alright,” he said and turned his gaze towards Mick instead of his notes. “Having you in means Lisa doesn’t have to be.”

And to his surprise, she didn’t even protest. “You’re such an overprotective arse sometimes, you know that?” But she said nothing more and Len knew she was secretly glad she wasn’t in danger of getting hit once again. And maybe this shouldn’t have stung so much since she was finally better. But her being hurt in the first place was his fault. He probably would never be able to get over that, but now was not the time to dwell.

“The plan is that we steal the necklace first and leave a note for him, making him pissed. The note says he should come here. As soon as he arrives, we take him down, ready for the CCPD. We just have to make it look like as if he stole the Rose and he’ll be locked away for it.”

Mick made a frown that looked suspiciously much like a pout. “That means I don’t get to burn the building?”

“No, Mick. We don’t need that heat.”

Mick grumbled some insult under his breath gave Len a short nod nonetheless.

“Good. So here’s the plan.”

 

***

 

Roughly two hours later, they were done discussing Len’s plan, having added a few corrections and improvements here and there now with Mick added to the force. The plan was perfect now with only a less than one percent chance to go wrong at any point. Len was confident that it would work exactly as they wanted, both the heist and later the confrontation with Nero. And then Barry would be safe and Nero would finally be behind bars and out of commission, hopefully for a very long time.

“And what happens if the Flash comes in, thwarting the heist?” Mick had asked at some point during the planning.

“We have to let him in on the plan,” Len had simply answered, because wasn’t it the obvious thing to do? “At least, partly let him in. Tell him we have to steal it so some other very bad guys won’t do it and the precious Rose remains in the hands of his favorite thieves.”

Mick had looked majorly skeptical. “You really think he’ll let you steal it just because you say so?”

“If I promise to give it back afterward,” Len had answered. Mick had only grunted in response, and with that, the matter was settled.

There was only one nagging thought left at the back of Len’s head, one thought he had been pointedly ignoring for the past few hours and intended to keep ignoring until all this was over. He didn’t have to address it, and then he didn’t have to deal with it until all this was over.

But of course, fate didn’t have that much mercy.

“Len,” his sister said as he was packing away the blueprints and plans, tucking them away in the big safe underneath the kitchen counter. “You know you gotta tell Barry about all this, right?”

He sighed. Problem addressed.

“He deserves to know.”

“We could keep all this nicely quiet and don’t bother him too much. Once we’ve dealt with Nero successfully, and I’m sure we will, there will be no need to know for him anyway.”

The short but nearly static silence that followed made Len realize that this had been the wrong thing to say.

“I cannot believe you!” Lisa shouted angrily, her heels clacking on the floor, indicating she was striding towards him, coming from the living space.

Len exhaled and debated for a second to make a face of annoyance because somehow this was still none his sister’s business, but he knew it would make her only angrier. He raised himself into a standing position to face his sister, mentally already preparing what he knew were feeble excuses.

“This is exactly what got you into that mess in the first place! You–” she stormed forward and grabbed the wet washcloth that lay on the kitchen top. Len actually had to duck to avoid getting hit in the face by it as Lisa threw it across the room at him.  

“You’re such an unbelievable, overprotective, ignorant jerk!” She threw her hands up in exasperation. “First, you betray Barry, _again_ if may point that out to you in case you have forgotten. Does your memory need a refreshment of what happened the last time? Of how much time he needed to trust you again? And you haven’t even been a couple, heck, not even friends!”

She was talking herself into a rage, Len knew that, but if she kept talking, she might be accidentally spilling the Flash's identity. “I do remember,” he gritted out despite himself.

“Now you betrayed him again, made a deal with your own enemy behind his back. A deal to betray him _once again_ , and with doing so destroying the one thing in the world that makes you happier than you have ever been in your life!”

“I know, sis, I know!”

“No, obviously you don’t. You will tell Barry. It will get ugly, and he will be upset, but if he truly loves you like I think he does, he will get over it. If not, I’m sure Miss West will kick his ass so he’ll get back on his ground. But if you don’t tell him and he finds out – and he will, Lenny, such things always find a way to come to light – then you’ll lose him. Forever. Secrets kill relationships. So get your sorry ass up, dress nicely and take him out for dinner. He won’t take it easier then, but it’s setting the right example.”

Len didn’t dare to look her into the eyes. Instead, he looked around the room, meeting Mick’s impassive glance. But even with Mick, he couldn’t meet his eye. Finally, he settled for the crack in the wall above his sister’s head.

Lisa was right, of course. He remembered how broken Barry had looked after Ferris Air, on that concrete floor, with fury and self-hatred and guilt and blame in his eyes, looking up to Len as if he had personally hurt his feelings. Which, for Barry, Len probably had. For him, it indeed had been a better deal, freeing those metahumans and let them be in his debt. And it had been better for Barry, too, although he was never going to admit that a small part of him had done this to protect Barry, too. But that time, protect Barry from himself. Incarcerating people without a trial at all, in an illegal prison on top of it, and then intending to ship them away to yet another illegal prison yet again without a trial, broke every moral code the speedster had, ever code of humanity and justice.

He even had killed that imbecile with the laser eyes so Barry wouldn’t get hurt (and the guy had owed him money, so a win-win for Len). Of course, he’d never tell Barry about any of this. Which is why he knew how his betrayal must look like through Barry’s eyes: he had all done that for personal gain only, being the cold-hearted thief and cold-blooded murderer he was. Not caring about the deal he had made with the Flash, as long as he got what he wanted, his records erased and new people, powerful people, owing him their lives. It did look like he didn’t care about Barry or the Flash at all.

Which was not true, hadn’t even been true then. But Barry didn’t know that. So he couldn’t know either that Len had made a deal with Nero to protect him, to make sure he stayed safe. Because Central City couldn’t lose its hero. He couldn’t lose his hero.

But if Barry found out about that deal from someone other than Len, believing Len had betrayed him once again … He knew it would crush him.

“Alright. I’ll talk to him. And yes,” he added as he saw Lisa opening her mouth in protest, “I’ll do it tonight. I’ve already got an idea where to take him.”

“Good,” Mick’s deep voice boomed, showing he had been following the conversation. Not that Len was surprised. “Because if you fuck this up, I’ll kill you.” With that, he grabbed another beer and left the room, planting himself down and turned on the TV, clearly showing he was done with the conversation and didn’t want to be interrupted watching – whatever he was watching. Could be some teleshopping channel, or porn, or a cooking show, for all Len knew.

“What he said,” Lisa added. “Only I will make sure you come back to life just so I can kill you again.”

“Noted,” Len said.

Lisa nodded shortly before she walked off and vanished up the stairs.

He let out a small sigh. It wouldn’t be a pleasant evening, much contrary to what he had hoped for when he had gotten up in the morning. But apparently, this was something required from to do in a proper and real relationship. Talking, coming clean, sharing. And he could do it for Barry. Or so he told himself.

 

 

8.02 pm, Len’s favorite posh restaurant in Central City

Len was standing outside, waiting for Barry. For some reason, he had found it incredibly difficult to find the right thing to wear for tonight. It was stupid, he knew that, but he found himself overly anxious and on edge before he had come here. Finally, he had decided for his marine tuxedo with a black collar, white dress shirt, marine blue tie, black dress shoes, and his anthracite pea coat. It was by far not the best he could have come up with to wear for the night but maybe what he found the most fitting. Or he felt the most comfortable with wearing. He wasn’t entirely sure.

After he had left the safe house and had made his way towards his apartment, he had spent the rest of the day thinking about what exactly to say to Barry. The matter was quite simple, sure, but somehow, no words were right to describe it. It had made him angry to no end that he was, once again, lost for words, unable to find the right thing to say. He had been pacing the floor, he had tried to draw something to get his mind to think of something else, started planning a new heist he could pull once he had his gun back. He even went for a ride on his motorcycle, just for fun to clear his mind. Nothing helped. In the end, he’d had to admit defeat and had accepted that he would do this without any preparation, relying on his usual eloquence.

Barry was already four minutes late so far, but Len had been expected as such, even prepared for it. He knew Barry would try to be punctual (emphasis on _try_ ) but eventually so Len had booked their table for a little after eight. What he, however, was not prepared for, was seeing Barry striding towards him, wearing a black suit – nothing special nor tailored or anything – with a black dress shirt underneath and a magenta bow-tie. And Len was definitely not prepared for how hot that looked.

“Sorry, I’m late,” Barry said a little breathless, smiling blindingly and pressed a chaste kiss on his lips.

It took Len a few seconds to recover and to convince himself that no, he couldn’t just steal this unfairly attractive speedster away, run away from their problems only to lock them together in his bedroom just to have his wicked way with him. Or maybe on the couch. Or in the shower. Literally anywhere.

But now, he had a responsibility, he had come here with a purpose. “It’s fine, Scarlet,” he said, his voice level and his self-control nearly unwavering. “I was already expecting that.”

Barry pouted in mock offense but his eyes were full of joy. Len smiled at him and pulled him in for another kiss before he offered his left arm for Barry to take. Together, they walked inside the restaurant. The waiter at the entrance threw Len a look and then gave him a short nod as a greeting, his eyes staying on Barry’s and his intertwined arms a little too long for Len’s liking.

“You reserved a table?” he asked them, addressing none of them in particular.

“I did,” Len answered.

“On which name?”

“Wynters.” He smirked. The waiter nodded again and showed them to their table in the far corner, right next to the large window with a fantastic view over the riverside. It was illuminated by several chains of light which made the water shimmer in a dark shade of blue, looking mysterious. He smirked again. He seriously loved this city.

“Wynters?” Barry asked him as soon as they were sitting opposite to each other, laughing heartily.

Len shrugged. “It’s my mother’s maiden name.”

“Seriously?”

“Why do you sound so incredulous?”

“It’s like your life is an entire cold pun. Like you were born to make those stupid puns.”

“Are you encouraging me, Barry?”

“Nope, definitely not.” He shook his head frantically, but his smile was blinding nonetheless.

“Admit it, you love them.”

“Well, you could say they’re pretty cool.” And he looked so proud of himself, his smile so smug, Len couldn’t find it in him not to laugh.

Soon after, their waiter came back, handing them the menu charts and gave them time to decide for their meals. Len felt himself grow more and more anxious, because one way or another, the inevitable was coming nearer. Should he tell Barry at the begging already and get it over with? Or just let them have a nice date before he’d have to drop the bomb eventually at the end? Because what if Barry got angry and just left? He wasn’t sure if he could deal with something like this.

“You okay?”

“Hm?”

“You look a little off,” Barry commented, staring at him from under those long lashes, his hazel eyes full of concern. “Did something happen today?”

And Len felt his heart break at this exact moment. Barry was just too good for him, too caring for his own sake. How on earth had he fallen for some crook like Len? How could he be in love with someone like Len?

Already the night on Christmas, when Barry had – probably unplanned – confessed his feelings for Len, already so soon in their relationship, Len had known that all this would have to end badly one day. He would let Barry down, and their carefully crafted world where they were together, would crumble and fall apart. Len just knew.

And in this moment, those few simple words of concern told Len how much he had screwed up. And how much he definitely did not deserve Barry Allen. In no universe, he would ever be good enough for him.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” he lied and let a small smile slip, even though it was fake. “Had a nice day with Lisa and Mick actually, now that she’s finally awake again and out of the hospital. Which reminds me,” he said and shifted a little in his seat, “you’ll probably stumble across her sometime in the future. Accidentally, naturally. But don’t be surprised. She might know your identity.”

A look of confusion traveled across Barry’s face, only to shortly change into betrayal and then quickly in curiosity. It was only barely there, but Len had caught it anyway. So Ferris Air still stuck in his bones, and maybe Barry would never completely be over Len’s betrayal that night.

“Relax, Barry,” Len said in what he hoped was a reassuring tone, “she figured it out. When she asked me who I was dating – and she knew immediately there was someone new in my life, you wouldn’t believe – she also immediately figured out sweet Barry Allen, CSI, was actually the city’s favorite hero.”

Barry let out a laugh, and his shoulders visibly relaxed. “Yeah, I probably should have thought about that. Never mind, though, I guess I’d have told anyway at some point now as this,” he gestured between them, “us, is getting serious.” He smiled widely, happiness radiating off him like heat from the sun.

Len smiled at him genuinely, and then the waiter came back, taking up their order. When he had vanished, Len asked Barry, “how was your day at work?” and the other fell into a lengthy explanation of what weird cases he had had today.

Len didn’t mind, and not just because he gained hand-first intel in on how the CCPD worked. He loved listening to Barry, telling about his day, everyday mundane things. He loved listening to his voice, loved seeing how his face lit up in joy, or how he furrowed his brows when he was angry. Barry was art, and he was perfect in Len’s eyes.

When their food arrived, they mostly ate in silence (Barry had ordered a five-course menu and each course already would have been enough for Len), enjoying each other’s company. But the inevitable was coming nearer, slowly, nagging at the back of Len’s mind, reminding him of why had come here in the first place. Len wasn’t a coward, but somehow he feared Barry’s anger more than Mick’s blind rage or Lisa’s cold wrath.

And then dessert came, crème brûlée for him and triple mouse au chocolat for Barry, and Len knew he couldn’t push this away anymore.

“Alright, Barry,” he said, his voice determined, even sounding a little cold. Not what he had planned. He tried again. “There is a reason we’re here tonight. We need to talk about something.”

And then Barry stilled, and Len knew he had already said the wrong thing. “Uh oh. When someone in a relationship says ‘we have to talk’, it’s never a good thing.” He looked suddenly somewhat nervous, and it seemed as he was growing smaller in his chair. “Anyway. What is it? And if you wanna break up with me and only looking for a nice way to do it, please do it quick now and don’t beat around the bush.”

“Break – what? No, Barry,” and Len shook his head, because was that seriously what Barry was thinking? “I most certainly do not want to break up with you.”

Barry relaxed visibly, smiled even a little as he put his spoon into his dessert again and continued eating. “Oh, good. Because honestly, that would’ve been such an anticlimax after this … fantastic evening.” He still laughed nervously.

Len sighed. “No. I don’t intend on ever breaking up with you. You’re mine now. And that’s going to stay that way. I don’t share.” He smiled a little as Barry rolled his eyes at his possessiveness and took his lover’s hand, running a few circles over the back of his hand before letting go again.

“But there’s something else, and you won’t like it.” He exhaled slowly, counted to five before he continued. “I made a deal with Nero. Already weeks ago.”

The sudden silence cut through the air like a knife.

“What?” His voice wasn’t more than a whisper, and Len’s stomach dropped.

“I … the day Nero broke into the bank, do you remember? You were iced on the spot, Nero had gotten away. After he had left you there, he came to my apartment, well knowing I was there.” Len closed his eyes, letting the memory flood over him.

_“I’m here to offer you a deal.”_

_“Why should I make a deal with you?” Len sneered._

_“Because,” Nero said matter-of-factly, “if you don’t, I’ll tell everyone who the man under that cute red leather costume is. I’ll make sure every single person on this goddamned planet knows his name. And I’ll make sure that everyone in the criminal underground knows that you, Captain Cold, are dating the Flash.” A slight gleam of madness has mixed with the evil expression in his eyes. “And as soon as I found out his name – and believe me, I will – I’ll hunt him down, kill all his friends and family, and then break every single bone in his body. And I’ll make sure you have to watch every last bit of it.”_

“He … he said he would hunt you down, and kill you. And your friends and family. I …” Len paused again. Somehow, he suddenly wasn’t able anymore to look into Barry’s eyes. He fixed his gaze upon the now empty water bottle on their table. “I could not let that happen. Under no circumstances.”

Barry was quiet for a few moments, taking in what Len just told him. When he spoke again, his voice was quiet, sounding broken and angry at the same time. “So he said if you do something for him, he’ll leave me alone.”

“Exactly.” Len risked a glance at his boyfriend. Barry, too, wasn’t looking his way, his eyes fixed on the tablecloth. With his hands, he was fidgeting with the napkin, und folding and refolding it.

“What did he want you to do?”

“He wanted me to keep pretending a partnership with you, and when we’d face Nero again, he wanted me to ice you. Temporarily. And then steal the Rose for him.”

“In exchange for my life and the cold gun.”

“Yes.”

Barry gave a short nod, still not looking up. But the atmosphere between them had turned frigid, and suddenly it all felt awkward and comical and just _wrong_.

“Why did you do it, Len? Why did you agree?” And he finally looked up, his eyes meeting Len’s. And somehow this time, his expression was indecipherable except for miserable at best. The green in his eyes glared with anger and betrayal.

Len held his breath and counted to ten before he released it again. “From all the possible things on this earth, I couldn’t let you die. Or let somebody harm you.”

“You already made that deal weeks, months ago. We weren’t even together yet. So why did you do it? What did he promise you to gain from this?” And Barry sounded hard, so unlike himself, it turned Len’s insides to ice. And he realized how much he had fucked up.

“Believe me or not, but I care about you, Barry. Cared already then. I just – thinking that something would happen to you and this was all my fault, again, I couldn’t handle it. I’d rather have you angry at me than dead.”

“Then why not tell me immediately? We could have figured something out together!” And finally, there was the heat in his voice Len had been expecting. Because open, hot anger that he could handle, but not the emotionless and disappointing stuff from before.

“Frankly,” he answered, and he tried his best to convey how serious he was being, “I was scared.” He gulped. “I was afraid that somehow telling you would make everything worse, that something would happen to you anyway, that Nero would find a way to get to you. Then you’d have to pay for the mistakes I did in the past. And I just couldn’t have that.” He gulped.

“I’m sorry, Len, but somehow I can’t believe you.”

 _Of course._ He felt his heart clench at Barry’s words. “I understand that,” he replied and lowered his gaze again. Looking into those hazel eyes, which were clouded by disapproval, betrayal and distrust was breaking his heart. He hadn’t been lying to Lisa when he said he loved Barry. Because he did, he truly did. Only there would be no way in hell the other would ever believe him that. It’d be a surprise if he even wanted to stay with him after this evening.

“While we’re at it, is there anything else you decided not to tell me? Because now would be the right time to come clean.”

And Len knew what he had to tell Barry. And he knew Barry wouldn’t like it, and it was likely he would run away from him after his confession. Because it was just a reminder again of how bad Len was for him, how bad of a person. “He said he wanted to destroy me, to ‘take everything from me like I did with him’.” Because Len was a stone-cold killer. And just an overall criminal. “I murdered his family in front of his eyes. The heist with my dad went sour, and Nero’s parents and his brother had gotten in the way … so they had to be deposed of.” And Len would never be good enough for Barry.

“You … killed his family?” Barry’s voice was almost inaudible, sounding so quiet and utterly shocked. “Just like that?”

Len nodded. “My father forced me. He had Lisa as leverage. I know, this isn’t an excuse, but that’s how things are. I never said I’m a good person. In fact, I told you how bad I really am.” He knew this was not the right thing to say, not in this situation but he felt like he had to defend himself and his actions in front of Barry. Which was stupid, he knew that. So he continued before he could do any more damage. “I couldn’t run the risk of getting you killed, Barry. Not you. I just can’t stand the idea that you might not be anymore. So I had to take the deal. I did it to protect you.”

Barry nodded. “What’re you gonna do now?” His voice sounded hollow.

“I made a plan. Lisa’s idea, actually. We’re going to … lure Nero out of his safety and take him down once and for all. And no, we won’t kill him. Prison, like the original plan.”

Barry nodded again. “When?”

“As soon as possible. I’ll steal the Rose, leave a message for Nero and, well. Then we’ll see.”

Barry only nodded again. “I s’pose you want me to not interfere with your heist?” He wasn’t meeting Len’s eyes but kept his eyes glued to the bottle on their table, still fidgeting with his napkin. Len felt his stomach drop even further.

“Everything else would be counter-productive, yes.”

Barry only nodded in response again but didn’t say anything.

They remained silent for a few more moments, the air between them heavy with unspoken words. Or maybe with too much.

“I’m sorry, Len, but I can’t do this.” And Barry shook his head, dropped his napkin onto the table, got up and left the restaurant without another word.

And Len just sat there, shaken, and he felt how a bone-chilling cold crept up to him. It was actually comfortably warm in this restaurant, and a candle was burning on their table. But the air around him seemed like ice. Len didn’t register any of the others around him anymore, not the waiters hurrying around, not the couple on the table closest  to theirs, not the man who dropped a pill into the woman’s champagne when she wasn’t looking.

Len dropped the money for their meal onto the table before left the restaurant, too. As soon as he was outside, he made his way directly home, not stopping once, his pace only increasing. He didn’t notice much on his way, because his head was spinning, and at the same time the only thing occupying his mind were the last words Barry had said to him.

 _I can’t do this._  
_I can’t do this._  
_I can’t do this._  
_I can’t do this._

This time, Len really had destroyed everything. He didn’t even need Nero’s help for that. But the Italian had achieved his goal without lifting a finger. He had been right. Losing Barry had would crush Len. And it was crushing him right now.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to read the full conversation between Len and Nero when he made his fatal deal, you can do so [here](http://itsbrookeks.tumblr.com/post/157397610072/making-a-deal-with-the-devil). I decided to post it on my tumblr because it doesn't really fit in somewhere after the new outlining of the plot, but I had this conversation written already ages ago and it was just waiting to get out somewhere.  
> I hope you like it, tell me what you think, and (hopefully) see you soon again with a new update!! xxx


	22. Oh, I Believe in Yesterday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry tries to deal with the betrayal, but help is right around the corner.

 

 _“_ _Take from me whatever you want, whatever you need. But lover, please stay with me. And I can see you, I can feel you slipping through my hands.” – Nothing But Thieves  
_

 

Sunday, 2 pm, the Wests’ house

The radio silence between him and Len had lasted five days so far, and it was slowly killing Barry.

When all this between them had started, he had known that at some point, it would come to this. It’s not as if he was oblivious to who Len was, to his past, to what he had done. He wasn’t oblivious to the blood on his hands, to his tendency to hurt people Barry loved, or to his previous betrayal. And he was definitely not oblivious to the possibility that there was no reason Len wouldn’t do it again if the situation presented itself.

But that was just all the more reason why it stung so much when Barry thought about his date with Len those few days ago. The betrayal, _repeated_ betrayal. And although Len had said he’d done this to protect Barry, the moment he had heard those words, nothing else Len had said after that had mattered.

_I made a deal with Nero, already weeks ago._

After that, Barry had felt incredible nausea rising inside of him, his vision had started tunneling. Everything around him had turned into white noise, and the only thing grounding him had, ironically, been Len’s voice. Len’s voice that had sounded somewhat soft, pleading, urging Barry to understand him, believe him.

But somehow, he couldn’t. No matter how sweet Len could be, how funny and caring, he was still Captain Cold under all those layers, a criminal, ruthless, likely a mob boss with no hesitation to kill and maybe the only thing holding him back was his deal with the Flash. And in this moment, on this evening that had started so nice, Barry had felt reminded of all those things in an incredibly painful way. But he should have known. Luck usually wasn’t on his side. And falling for Leonard Snart, falling for Captain Cold, surely had been one of the worst decisions he had ever made. It felt like he had made a deal with the devil: first, everything had been fine, but then, slowly, everything started to fall apart and he started to see the terrible truth underneath. That he had just been conned again, deceived, but he had embraced it all the while. Because Barry knew that his feelings for Len were real.

And there were still, and right now, his heart was aching for him, betraying his brain that told him he should have broken it off, all of it, not just the dinner, but their relationship as well. His heart was yearning for Len, to be near him, to be held in his arms, and he wanted to hear Len whispering in his ear that all would be well after this, wanted to believe they could fix this – whatever it was between them right now. Because he did not want to break it off.

Barry had tried his best to seem normal around his family and friends, as if nothing as out of the ordinary, regardless of feeling the ground he was standing on was just breaking away. Because that was how it truly felt, being in limbo, not knowing what was right and what was wrong anymore, what he should do, what would happen. But Barry could guess he wasn’t doing such a good job of pretending, after all, judging by the concerned glances even Wally was throwing him.

He had avoided any longer conversation with either Iris, Cisco or Caitlin, knowing he wouldn’t be able to hide anything anyway from them for long. He had done his Flash duties as long as possible, trying not to stay at S.T.A.R. Labs for too long, and had come home late in the evening, dropping in his bed instantly.

It had only been five days so far, but somehow it felt like a lifetime for Barry. And he missed Len. God, he missed him more than anything.

But no matter how hard he tried to avoid Caitlin and Cisco, trust Iris West to find a way to talk to him anyway.

At the moment, Barry was sitting at home in front of the TV with Joe, watching _Captain America: The First Avenger_ because today, they had decided to be lazy and not be bothered at all. Barry had told Cisco to only call him if there was an emergency and so far, neither Flash work nor the CCPD had demanded their presence for any case. Maybe murderers and robbers needed a rest from time to time, too.

Iris had gone out for shopping early in the morning already, and Barry hoped she wouldn’t be back so soon. But of course, fate hated him, and right when the movie finished, Joe and Barry heard the front door open and Iris stepped inside, carrying several shopping bags.

“Hey Dad, hey Barry,” she greeted them with her usual cheer while she dropped her bags off at the foot of the stairs. “You guys okay?”

Joe paused the video and nodded. “Did you have a nice morning in the city?”

“Yeah. I got myself a pretty new dress and some other stuff.” She pulled off her coat and dropped next to Barry on the couch. “But please don’t tell me you’ve been watching movies all day long!”

“Hey, even we are entitled to have a day off!” Barry joked and threw her smile. Maybe she wasn’t suspicious yet. One could hope.

Iris just rolled her eyes. “Did you guys make any food? I’m starving,” she said.

“Not since breakfast.”

She raised her eyes. “And you’re not hungry yet, Barry?”

Honestly, he hadn’t been very hungry over the last few days. Not that he was going to tell her that. Instead, he just shook his head which earned him a questioning eyebrow.

“Well, I wouldn’t say no to some pasta. You wanna help me in the kitchen, Barry?” she addressed him, and he honestly couldn’t think of a reason to say no, especially not when she was looking at him like that, daring to say otherwise, the suspicion clear. Well, that was just great.

“Great idea,” Joe added, “because I’m hungry as hell. I’m going to pick up Wally from the library and then we can have lunch. Deal?” He smiled at them, and Iris and Barry nodded unison.

Then, Iris dragged Barry along and into the kitchen. There, they worked together in comfortable silence, taking out the vegetables for the sauce and started chopping. Barry could have done all of it within seconds, but he knew how Iris hated it. Cooking was art, in her opinion, and art took time.

Everything was well for the first ten to fifteen minutes. Barry even started to relax a little, focusing his mind on the task at hand instead of thinking the whole time and he even managed to tune out the ever-present ache in his chest. (At least a little.)

That was until he heard Joe leave the house and Iris immediately dropped everything she was doing and rounded on him, her eyes gleaming fiercely. “Okay, spill it. What’s going on with you?”

“Um, nothing? What should be going on?”

“Barry, stop pretending. You’ve been acting weird for almost a whole week. See, there? That false smile you have plastered on your face? Something’s wrong.”

“Everything’s peachy, Iris,” he said and smiled her. But maybe she was right. His smile felt more like a grimace.

“You look sad when you think nobody can see you. You’ve been dodging Caitlin and Cisco. You’ve been dodging _me_. Something is going on with you. And you’re telling me what it is _right now._ ”

Wow, now she seemed pissed. Barry sighed. Arguing with Iris now would get him nowhere, he knew that. And she knew him well enough not to notice. “Okay, well, it’s – it’s about me and my boyfriend.”

“What happened?”

Barry tilted his head a little, thinking. Should – or more like, could he tell her the truth? The whole truth? That would include revealing the identity of his still mystery-boyfriend and … he wasn’t quite ready for that yet. And especially now, when Len had betrayed him again, it didn’t seem like a good idea to bring up that his boyfriend was actually a nefarious criminal.

He settled for some kind of half-truth. “He … When we got together, I thought that he would … change. No, wait, that’s not true.” He dragged his hand through his hair and rubbed his neck, unsure what he was supposed to say. “Okay, maybe I should start the beginning.”

“That would be nice,” Iris said and walked towards the table, sitting down on the closest chair and motioning Barry to take the one next to her. He did so gladly. Before he continued, he glanced up at Iris, only to be met with a hard stare that made him look down on his hands again.

“When I first met him, I knew he … wasn’t actually one of the best persons in terms of good or hero-like. Or isn’t, actually. He has done bad things in the past. He wasn’t always completely honest, not with me anyway. But I knew there was – is – good in him, that he has the potential to do good instead of … what he’s used to doing. And then, well, we got closer and eventually kissed and got together. And I thought that him being my boyfriend, him agreeing to a real relationship meant that there were no more such things as betraying the other or doing those bad things I mentioned. But, on Tuesday, we went on a date, and he said …” Barry paused, gulped. He hadn’t realized his voice had grown so small, nor that his eyes had filled with tears. But now he could feel them, hot and stinging, and his gut clenching. Not now, he told himself. It was only a matter of time until he would break down again eventually, but Iris didn’t need to see this. She didn’t need an even worse picture of Len.

“He said that he made a deal with some guy. He told me he did it to protect me but … I felt reminded so much of the last time, and I couldn’t deal with this. Because it doesn’t matter that he says he did it for me. One can say he loves peace, but if they’re dropping bombs on another country? That’s not peace. And their actions show who they truly are.

“And in that moment I just … couldn’t. I left, ran away. Because how can he say he cares about me when it’s obvious he did all this just … to hurt me?” He let out a bitter laugh. His eyes were stinging very uncomfortably now, and he tried to keep his gaze locked to the ground. There would be pity in Iris’ features, anger even, and he could not deal with this.

“Oh, for Christ’s sake,” Iris let out and sighed frustrated. “He’s such an honest to God idiot.” And then, she laughed.

Barry looked at her disbelieving. “What’s so funny about that?”

“Oh, nothing’s funny. It’s just – what exactly did he say? How did he put it?”

“Why is that important?”

“Because I feel that, how he said it, it was misleading.” Barry frowned in confusion and Iris added quickly, “I know he cares about you. And this, how you’re reacting now, is completely normal given his … persona.”

“Iris, if that’s supposed to be helping, it’s not. I’m just getting more and more confused.”

“Just tell me what he said precisely.”

Barry sighed. He hadn’t even the faintest idea where this was supposed to lead to. “I can’t. If I do, you might figure out … who he is. And then you’ll hate him. Even more than you probably already do.”

“Oh, I already know you’re dating Leonard Snart.”

Barry stilled, his eyes wide. “ _What_?”

And Iris laughed. “Honestly, Barry, you’re not that subtle. Icy exterior? Bad boy? Over a decade older? Loves to make bad puns? And then the painting he got you on Christmas. If that wasn’t saying everything, I don’t even know anymore. I’m surprised no one else has figured it out yet.”

“You … know I’m dating Leonard Snart.” Because somehow this was very important.

“Yes, Barry.”

“And … you’re not angry at me?”

“Why should I?” Her expression softened and she leaned forward, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Barry, I can see how much that man means to you. And how much you mean to him. So tell me,” she said, urging Barry on, “how exactly did he say it?”

Barry sighed. How long had Iris known? How was she not angry with him? And why would she think that Len actually, honestly cared about him?

“He said ‘I made a deal with Nero. Already weeks ago.’” And saying those words out loud again with the sound of Len’s voice in his ears, his heart ached more than before. “Nero … he stole Len’s cold gun and now threatened him to kill me and everyone Len loves, just to get revenge. He … He offered Len a deal. Nero would leave me and Lisa out of this if Len steals the Rose of the North for him in exchange. If he does that, he gets his cold gun back, too.”

“And he agreed to it.”

Barry only nodded.

Iris sighed, her expression growing softer. “Oh, Barry,” she said and pulled him forward into a hug. “He’s such a goddamn idiot.”

And in that moment, Barry couldn’t hold it together anymore and he broke down, the tears flooding down his cheeks, ever-growing rivers. The pain in his chest was nearly unbearable, and he felt like as if someone was trying to rip his heart out. Iris just held him, her arms around his middle, her hands rubbing soothing circles on his back.

He didn’t know how long they sat there like this, the tears ever flowing, his fists clenching tight.

“You know, as soon as I was sure it was him who you’re dating, I paid him a little visit,” Iris said and Barry could literally hear her smirking. “At first I thought how on earth could that bastard manipulate you into falling for him? Especially since you knew first-handily how he can be? Who he is?” She let out a little laugh. “But then I realized he wasn’t playing you at all. He was _serious_ about you. And at first, I didn’t know what to make of that.” She kept rubbing circles in Barry’s back, and he felt himself relax. The tears had, miraculously, stopped.

“He told me everything – how you two got to spend more time with each other, what his motives were – did you know he asked you for help because he couldn’t deal with his emotional issues?”

Barry sat up and looked at her, incredulous. “What? Are you kidding me?”

“No, honestly, that’s what he said. And he told me the story with Nero – the whole story.”

“So he told you before me.” Barry didn’t want to sound jealous, nor did he mean to pout, he really didn’t. It just happened.

“I think he only told me all of it to prove me how much he cares about you. Or that I wouldn’t just cut off his penis.”

“Iris!”

She laughed. “Don’t worry, Barry, I did nothing of that. I just threatened him a tiny bit.”

Barry shook his head, feeling lighter somewhat. “I can’t believe you gave Captain Cold a shovel talk.” His heart wasn’t aching so much anymore.

Iris just shrugged. “At least someone had to. But, Barry, what I wanted to tell you: that man cares about you. Deeply. Maybe even more than he realizes. Or, maybe he does know he loves you, and that’s why he told you instead of just getting on with his plan. He knows that by betraying you, he would only hurt you again, even worse than if he just told you the truth. And maybe that’s why he did it.”

“But how can I believe him? How can I possibly believe that he cares about me?” Barry tried not to think of the jolt his stomach gave when Iris said that Len _loved_ him.

“From what I could gather, that man has never been in a proper relationship before. Or at least, that’s what I figure. You told me he and his sister had been abused by their father, beaten, made into what they are now. And something like that leaves scars on a person, and not just on the outside. When you think a person loves you – a person who is supposed to love you – does something so terrible to you, your sense of love, of relationship, and of safety, gets twisted in the worst way. And I guess that’s what happened to Leonard. He grew up being who he is, a criminal, and having made a name for himself for being cold, even before Cisco gave him that moniker. You know how much Dad used to complain about him in the past already. And about his father.”

Barry laughed. He did, indeed, know. Leonard Snart and Mick Rory had made a name for themselves in Central City even before Barry became the Flash and they took their personas as Captain Cold and Heat Wave. Only Lisa was the one with a clean record so far. How she had managed that was beyond Barry.

“So now, he does the only thing he can think of to protect his loved ones. He accepts the deal to make absolutely sure nothing can happen to you. And besides, he thinks he’s not good enough for you, anyway. So with that, he thinks he can make sure nothing happens to you because of him, and he can stay out of your life for the future and make sure nothing will _ever_ happen to you. I believe that by taking this deal, it’s his way of showing how much he cares.”

“But that’s bullshit! He definitely _is_ good enough for me. Why shouldn’t he? He’s … Iris, he’s amazing. He’s close to perfect, actually. How can he think that? I’m no hero, I’ve done bad things in the past, too, things that I’m ashamed of. I’m no saint myself, but like that it sounds as if he paints himself as the devil. And that’s utter shit because it isn’t even true. He might see himself as bad, and not worthy, but there is so much good in him. There’s light. He just has that hidden away inside of him, making sure nobody sees it. But it’s there, and that’s all that matters.”

“Yeah, but Barry, have you actually told him that?”

“I–” Barry closed his mouth. Well, he had told Len that there was good in him, back all those months ago when he visited him in Iron Heights. But he never told Len how much he actually believed it, what exactly he thought of him, despite all things he had done.

And in that moment, Barry realized he had already forgiven Len. Because, if he was being completely honest with himself, he would have done the same if their positions were reversed. Hell, he would have done that for anyone he loved, only to make sure nobody could harm them.

“See? What he did does sound like he doesn’t care, but it’s not true. In fact, it’s a very hero thing to do. Making sure your loved ones are safe. Which, is, as a matter of fact, something you did, too, when you decided to withhold for a whole year that you’re the Flash.” She looked at him accusingly, but her expression was soft. Understanding.

“You’re right, Iris.” He sighed. “Maybe I was just too involved in my own misery, too caught up to see behind his actions. Maybe I was just too afraid.”

“I’m glad I could help. And there’s no reason to be afraid. If the guy only loves you half as much as I think, it’s still beyond anything I ever thought him capable of. He won’t do anything, ever again, to risk being with you.”

“I just hope that’s true.” He dragged his hand through his hair again, trying to collect himself. “You did help. Thank you so much.”

She smiled sympathetically and gave him a last pat on the shoulder before she got up and walked towards the kitchen. “Now, I think we have late lunch to fix,” she said with the usual cheer in her voice. And Barry couldn’t help but feel affected by it, now that he had time to think about Len and his actions, and actually talk to someone about all this. He hadn’t realized he had needed the comfort until Iris was offering it.

For the next twenty minutes, they prepared their pasta silently. Joe and Wally came home at some point, and the four of them ate together before falling onto the couch and putting on the first _Iron Man_ -movie.

The ache in Barry’s chest had subsided, and he felt all the weight that had been put upon him by agreeing to a relationship with Len had been lifted off his shoulders. Because Iris had shown him it was okay, and that it was possible and not something the other manipulated him into. It was real. They were real.

At some point while watching _Iron Man 2_ – their evening was turning into a marvel marathon – he fished his phone out of the pocket of his sweats and texted Len, saying they needed to talk. But no response came, and after _Iron Man_ 2 they watched the first _Thor_ , and after that, Barry bid his family goodnight and went upstairs into his room, with no response still.

And his heart was aching again – which was stupid because why should Len answer right away? Maybe he was occupied with something and couldn’t answer his phone. Nonetheless, Barry felt suddenly hollow inside, like he wanted to drop immediately onto his bed, close his eyes and just let this day be over.

The trouble was, there was already someone sitting on his bed, smirking up at him in the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, who might have broken into Barry’s room without anyone noticing?
> 
> And honestly, blame the Beatles for the chapter title and J.K. Rowling for that last sentence. (I may or not may be rereading every single Harry Potter-book for, like, the twentieth time and may or not may listen to the Beatles non-stop. I’m thinking of only using Beatles songs as chapter titles in the next fic …)
> 
> Anyway, the next chapter’s coming soon, it’s almost done (yay!) except for the final scene and then a few improvements here and there. Actually, this and the next chapter were supposed to be only one, but it got waaay too long, so I split it up in two.
> 
> Maybe you've realised already (or not in which case I’m glad) but my voices for Barry, Len, and the narrative in general keep changing. I’m still experimenting with different voices for each character, trying to get it just right and at the same time find my own writing style. I’m sorry if the speeches come out as sounding wrong or inconsistent.
> 
> And you so much again for the kudos and reviewing on this fic, honestly, it means the world to me. You guys keep me motivated and inspire me to try my absolute best. Thanks so much ♥


	23. Liquor Ain't The Solution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry and Len have an overdue heart-to-heart and lay some ground rules for their relationship.

 

_“_ _I will surrender tonight before we both lose this fight. Take my defences, all my defences, I lay down this armor.” – Landon Austin_

Sunday, around 11 pm, the Wests’ house

Len had debated with himself over the last few days what to do. Deep down in his gut, he knew how badly he had screwed up. And everything in him had screamed to make it right again, to fix things. This was already their first fight, surprisingly late. Normally, in any kind of relationship, Len would have bailed by now. Fighting with a new partner in crime? Get rid of them and get yourself a new one. Fighting with a lover? It wasn’t supposed to last anyway.

The only other people he hadn’t pushed away after a fight were Lisa, and Mick. No matter how bad and ugly it got in their lives, and no matter how harsh the words were, no matter what nasty things they were saying to each other, they always found their way back to each other, even if it took time.

But with Barry … he had no idea what to do. There were too many unknown variables, too many things he didn’t know, didn’t know the protocol he had to follow here.

When he had arrived home that night, he had grabbed the bottle of whiskey he stored in his liquor cabinet, and nearly emptied it. The next morning, he had woken up with a huge hangover and not feeling any better, the empty bed beside him only reminding him more of what he had lost. And he couldn’t help but think he had lost Barry for good.

That was five days ago. He had avoided Lisa since, something she inevitably noticed. He had dodged her calls, didn’t show up at any safe house or location where he suspected her to be. He knew she would ask how the evening had gone. He didn’t feel like telling her. He even skipped a Rogue’s meeting, not wanting to see anyone at all. He had received a text from Mick afterward, telling Mardon had been beyond pissed, which left a sour feeling in Len’s stomach but he couldn’t really find it in him to actually care. He didn’t even answer.

But without her sisterly advice, he was bound to do something stupid. And this time, stupid presented itself in a bottle of rum (brown, Caribbean rum, actually, one of Len’s favorites) and a very stupid idea that followed his drug-induced state. Which is why he was now inside of Detective West’s house, inside Barry’s room, waiting for him to go to bed. He didn’t really know how much he had drunk. Not that much, really, he had been able to drive at least. But surely enough to feel slightly tipsy (but definitely feel it in the morning).

He didn’t know how late it was, for once. Drugs and alcohol seemed to take that ability from him, disturbed the proper working of his inner clock. It was late, at least, and he knew he was here already for a little while, sipping from the flask inside his jacket from time to time. When he heard the end credits music of _Thor_ playing, he asked himself for the first time if that had been a good idea. Probably hadn’t. But he was here now. And he really needed to see Barry. Nearly physically ached for it.

He heard the subtle crack of the stairs, light, and he knew instantly Barry was coming up the stairs. Len had a second to realize that, _fuck_ , he didn’t even know what to say to him, when the door opened, he was blinded by the sudden light that was switched on and heard a suppressed, sudden yelp from Barry.

“Len!” he almost whispered, although it would be too quiet for any of his family members to hear anyway. “What on earth are you doing here?”

“Waiting for you, obviously.” Len had put his shoes off, his legs crossed.

“Did – did you break in here?”

Len just shot him an annoyed look. Did he really have to ask? It wasn’t as if Len could just show up the door, ring the bell, and ask Joe West if Barry could come out and just fucking talk to him.

“Of course you did.” Barry almost sighed. Or did he? Len wasn’t sure. Barry turned away from, closed the door to his room carefully and then walked over towards the bed and sat down next to Len. There was till about a foot space between them. Len tried not to be upset about it.

“Why are you here?” He sounded defeated, now definitely sighing with his brows furrowed. Len wanted to reach forward and smooth the deep line between his brows, caressing his cheek, but refrained. No wasn’t a good time.

He exhaled deeply and thought of what to say. Suddenly, and again, he couldn’t find the right words. And right now, he needed the right words even more than he needed air if he wanted to fix this – whatever it was between Barry and him right now. “I don’t really know,” he settled on. Okay, not good. He tried again. “I came here to apologize, I guess. No, not guess. I did. And I needed to see you. I upset you, I get that – but believe me when I say I never wanted to harm you with that.” He paused. His vision became a little unclear, and he wanted to take another sip of his rum.

He sighed. And stared at Barry. He looked so gorgeous, like always.

“Len?” It was almost a whisper.

“All I wanted to do is protect you, protect you from me, from my life. I wanted to keep you safe. I can’t see you hurt, and I definitely can’t be the reason why you’re hurt. I’m so sorry, Barry.”

Barry’s eyes widened, and Len cursed himself internally. He didn’t intend on revealing so much about himself, about his feelings, but the liquor definitely loosened his tongue. “Sorry,” he added and tried to sound cooler. He knew he wasn’t succeeding. “But it’s true.” Because it was.

“Len,” Barry breathed and shook his head vehement. “I …” Barry took a deep breath, looked at his lap, and then up again, straight into Len’s eyes. And Len’s stomach gave a jolt, his skin suddenly feeling as if lightning was running over it, every nerve on edge. At the same time, he suddenly felt hot and had the urge to ditch his leather jacket. He put it off and let it drop on the floor. Why had he still been wearing it, anyway?

“I had a talk with Iris today. Which reminds me – she knew the whole time? And you didn’t say anything?” Barry let out a nervous laugh. “Okay, I know, not the point. Anyway, this talk made me … realize some things. Especially that, maybe, I hadn’t a reason to be upset. No, wait, I did have a reason because you still betrayed me. But I would’ve acted the same if I would have been in your position. She reminded me that I literally did that when I didn’t tell her I was the Flash.”

And suddenly, the weight of the world was lifted off Len’s shoulders. At least, that’s what it felt like. “Barry …”

“So, yes, I forgive you, if that’s what you want to know.”

Len knew Barry wanted to say more, but he didn’t care. He rushed forward, cupping Barry’s face and crushing their mouths together. It was desperate, both of them grasping for the other, it was sloppy, all tongue and teeth. But Len didn’t care. Because Barry _forgave_ him.

And yet, Barry broke away way too soon again. “Len, have you been drinking alcohol?”

He winced. “May- _beee_.”

“Len!”

“What? Isn’t a man allowed to enjoy the fine taste of his favorite drink?”

“How did you get here? Please don’t tell me you drove here with your bike.”

Len didn’t answer. Because he had done exactly that.

“Len! Have you any idea how dangerous it is to drive while intoxicated? Imagine if you’d had an accident and I had to be the one processing your scene! That’s …” And suddenly, Barry was teary eyed, and Len felt stupid all over again.

He leaned forward and pulled Barry into his arms. Barry let him. “I didn’t feel as drunk as I do know. I still don’t feel drunk, for the record.”

“You’re slurring your words, Len.”

“Maybe. But I’ve been here for a while with the finest rum hidden in my jacket. And I had to wait for you, so …”

“You got drunk in my bedroom?” Barry almost laughed, and this soft sound eased the tension in the room.

“Does sound weird when you put it like that.” He placed his head on top of Barry’s, nestling his nose in his hair. It smelled good.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, Len’s arms around Barry, the younger man sitting between his legs, clutching the front of his sweater and cuddling himself into Len. It was nice. And Len felt this warmth inside his chest again, his heart fluttering, and he felt overcome by the pure, deep love for Barry. Part of him wanted to tell him, wanted to tell him just how beautiful he really was, how amazing, how gorgeous, pretty much everything he ever wanted in his life. A part of him wanted to tell Barry he was his future, his light, his everything. But the bigger, still rational part knew it wasn’t the right time.

So they stayed like that for a few more minutes. Or maybe only one. Len’s sense of time was still screwed. He knew again why he hated getting drunk, or even just a little tipsy. It sucked.

“We still have to talk about this, Len.”

“Hm?” Barry was so comfy. And Len suddenly felt so sleepy.

“About what happened.” He paused. “You said that you wanted to protect me? From you, from your life?”

“M-hm. Can’t let anybody harm you.”

“You know I have superpowers and I’m not actually a kid, right?”

“So?”

“So, I can pretty much protect myself. Besides, Len. I’ve beaten every single one of your Rogues.” He paused again and shifted in Len’s lap, now looking up at him. “Which reminds me – I did some thinking. I … I want to be part of your life. And that means your whole life – not the nice domestic you I got to know over the past few weeks. I’m not oblivious to who you are, Len. I know what you do for a living, maybe a little more vivid than anyone else. And I know I can’t – I won’t – try to change you. That’s who you are. But you’re also a good man, deep down.”

“Barry … I’m not. Didn’t the recent events prove that?”

“It’s … not necessarily something bad what you did, or so Iris told me. You tried to protect me, but I’ve been too arrogant to notice.”

“I hurt you.”

“Yes, you did. But I’ll get over it. And for the record – no more secrets in the future, okay? Secrets kill relationships. And this, you and me … I’ve never felt so alive, and it never felt so right.”

Len felt his heart clench and he was overcome by yet another wave of love for this man sitting in front of him. It was so much he didn’t know what to do with it. “It won’t be easy.”

“I know. Which is why he have to set a few rules – about Rogue and Flash stuff. It only went this well so far because we’ve been ignoring the elephant in the room. And when you addressed it, I pushed away, didn’t even try to listen to you. Which was wrong, I know. And I’m sorry about that, too.” He interlaced their fingers, his thumb caressing the back of Len’s hand.

Len shook his head. “Don’t apologize, Barry. You did nothing wrong. I’ve been a fool to think we can have this without dealing with our day jobs. Which are two jobs for you. What happens if your foster father arrests me? And you’ll process the scene? What will you do then?”

“That won’t happen. You’re too good to get caught. Except maybe by the Flash.” And damn, Barry shouldn’t sound so proud of his stealing skills. But it made Len feel happy nonetheless.

But that didn’t mean they were done with the topic yet. “I was under the impression you could lose your job if anybody finds out?”

“ _If_ anybody finds out. Which they won’t. I’ve been the Flash for almost three years and nobody realized something yet. Well, Joe knows, but he’s seen my face when I fought Clyde Mardon, so …”

“Barry …”

Barry let out a frustrated sigh, near the line of exasperation, actually. “Len. Let’s not make this more difficult than it has to be.”

“I’m not.” He really wasn’t. He just didn’t want Barry to screw up his life to be together with some low-life like him.

“You are. Look – I think the biggest issue, apart from telling Joe one day, is the things we do when we’re in costumes.”

“Well, we haven’t done it in costumes yet …” Which was a shame, really. Now Len had actual permission to touch and make love to Barry in that ridiculous tight suit and he hadn’t even had the chance yet.

Barry rolled his eyes at him. “Another time. What I meant, though, was that our agreement still stands. No hurting innocents. No killing. And that counts for you as well as for the others. And our relationship and Flash and Rogues stuff stay separate. At least usually, except for when there’s an emergency or something.”

Len nodded. He has expected as much, even supported it.

“And another thing – how many Rogues are there, anyway?”

Len immediately tensed. He forced himself to relax, because, no, Barry wouldn’t use that against him. He tried to smirk. “A man gotta have his secrets, Barry.”

“Oh, come on,” he groaned in frustration, and it sounded unfairly sexy, “it’s not as if I won’t find out anyway the next time I have to stop you.”

“Fine. We’re seven, sometimes even eight or nine, depending on their mood. But who exactly remains a secret.”

“ _Seven_? Wait, did actually everybody from Ferris Air join you?”

Len just smirked. There was no heat behind Barry’s words despite the serious topic of conversation. And a small part of Len started to hope again, hope that this wasn’t over and that he still had a chance of making it right. Of staying with Barry. Because exactly as he had put it, nothing else in the world had ever felt more right.

Barry sighed. “Okay, no, I don’t want to know. It’s okay.” He cuddled closer again and buried his face in Len’s chest. “But let’s make another deal – if I win, you put back whatever you stole, alright?”

“ _What_? Why should I do that?”

“It’s only fair.” Barry placed a kiss on his jaw. “Pretty please?” And another kiss, this time on his neck, sucking gently at his skin. “It’ll be much more fun like that.” He sucked a little harder, and Len couldn’t help but wince a little in desperation. He was, mostly, feeling sober again, but he still could feel his self-control crumble.

“Fine,” he gritted out, reluctantly, and then cupped Barry’s cheeks, bringing their lips together. Before Barry could respond properly, he was leaning forward, forcing Barry to lay down and he pressed him into the mattress, straddling his lap.

“Len,” Barry let out, and he already sounded breathless. “You’re drunk.”

“I’m not.”

Barry just quirked his eyebrows.

“Make-up sex?”

And now Barry laughed, but he kissed Len anyway. And that counted as a yes for him. He wasn’t, in fact, too drunk anymore. His flask still was half full, so it hadn’t been that much. And he had waited quite a long time for Barry, waiting for him in his room. Desperate, but still with the tingling awareness where exactly he was.

And the realization hit him again. It was the first time they were on Barry’s bed, and Joe West was downstairs, maybe even in the room next door, but Len didn’t care, not really. Because all he wanted right now was Barry, wanted to feel him, every inch of smooth skin under his fingers, tracing his body, taking him apart, and hear those sweet noises he made.

And he kissed Barry with everything he had because he still wasn’t good enough, still wasn’t what Barry deserved. But Barry chose him, had forgiven him, and he wanted him. Wanted him the way he was, wanted every single broken piece. Not some idealized version of him where he was _good_ , but _him_.

He mouthed along Barry’s jaw now, back to where this soft spot was, just behind his ear, and then downwards, to the crook of his neck, sucking, biting, but never too forceful. Barry let out a gasp, and then a quiet moan. Len knew he was trying to suppress it, be quiet, but oh he wished they were alone right now. Maybe they should be extra loud, spiting West, spiting everyone who doubted their love, who could stand between them. Spiting Nero, who had almost ruined this between him and Barry.

Len’s hands wandered down to Barry’s hips and then slipped underneath the sweatshirt he was wearing. His skin was so hot, and it felt perfect underneath Len’s cool finders. He let them wander upwards, to Barry’s nipples, pinching them ever so slightly and forcing another moan out of Barry while he continued to nurse his neck.

“Len,” Barry gasped and tugged at his sweatshirt. Len only willingly complied, let Barry pull it off and drop it on the floor. Barry’s followed suit.

And oh, he was so beautiful. Len sharply sucked in his breath, looking downwards where his boyfriend lay on the mattress, all lean lines, soft skin covered in countless tiny freckles and moles.

He looked like a young god who came down to the earth. And he lay there for him, his expression so open, full with desire and awe. “You’re so beautiful, Barry.” Len didn’t give him a chance to answer, but bent down to kiss him gently, one of his hands wandering to his hair where he grasped a little at the strands, which earned him yet another suppressed moan from his young lover.

Their kiss got feverish, hot, their tongues exploring each other’s mouths. Barry’s fingers were digging into Len’s back, pressing him closer, and they were nearly touching everywhere. Barry’s erection was pressed against his, and he rocked forward, ever so slightly, slowly, knowing Barry would equally hate and love the pace and the tease. And he was immediately rewarded as Barry pushed his hips upwards against Len, rubbing together their hard-ons.

And it grew tighter in his jeans with every passing second. He moved his hands downwards, trailing along Barry’s lithe figure until he found the waistband of his sweatpants and let his fingers glide inside, pulling the sweats down while doing so, just inch by delicious inch.

“Len,” Barry said, and his voice sounded so sinfully raspy and breathless, “Joe’s just two doors down the hall. Iris’ room is next door. Maybe we shouldn’t …”

“You really trying to convince me you don’t want that, huh?” he smirked. Len removed Barry’s sweats and then pointedly smirked at the obvious bulge of his straining cock in his boxers. “We just have to be extra quiet. I’d say I gag you, but somehow I don’t think you’re that kinky.”

And to his surprise, Barry’s eyes widened at the suggestion, his pupils dilating. The grip of Barry’s hands grew, if possible, even tighter. Huh. Interesting. “My, my, Scarlet. I’m getting the impression maybe you are, in fact, that kinky.”

“Let’s … do this another time. Special occasion. Then … you can do whatever you want.”

Now it was Len’s turn to be surprised, and he felt the blood rush to his own cock in anticipation. Another time. Oh, was he looking forward to that.

“So you can be nice and quiet now?”

Barry nodded frantically, his fingers now fumbling open Len’s belt and fly. He didn’t hesitate and shucked his pants, landing on top of the pile of clothes on the floor. They resumed their kissing, and Len’s gut was burning with desire. He let his hand slip inside Barry’s underwear, teasing him until he took him in hand and started stroking him slowly.

“Ah … no – _fuck_ , Len – don’t tease.”

“Then those have to come off.”

He couldn’t even do as much as blink. He registered a flickering of lightning and then found himself lying on the bed, Barry above him, both of them completely naked now. Len would never cease to be amazed at his lover’s extraordinary powers.

They resumed their frantic kissing, hands now all over each other, pulling and grasping but not quite getting enough. Their tongues fought a little, exploring each other’s mouths still, but every movement felt so … natural, so trained, as if it was meant to be like that, as if they were meant to be together.

Len reached between them again, taking Barry in hand and continued his strokes, now and then circling over the head with his thumb, or flicking his wrist. It earned him a suppressed moan each time, getting more and more desperate with every second. He could tell Barry was getting close with nearly no refractory period and a libido that ran higher than Len could ever have imagined. But he didn’t complain. He felt himself grow harder and he knew precum must already be leaking from both their dicks.

He disconnected his lips from Barry’s and wandered down again, towards his neck where he licked a little at this soft spot, then sucked.

“ _Fuck_ , Len, I’m–”

Len chuckled as he blew cool air over Barry’s oversensitive skin. His skin was so beautifully flushed, red from arousal, his eyelids heavy, dropping.

Barry whined. “Len,” he said breathless, “Fuck, Len, please. I – _ah_ – I need you–”

“Yes, Scarlet?” He sucked a little harder on Barry’s skin, causing Barry to moan a little louder this time. “You need what?”

“I – I need to feel you i-inside of me. Your dick. Now.” The blush in his cheeks intensified, maybe from embarrassment about this bold statement, maybe from arousal, Len wasn’t sure. But he was more than sure that this was one of the sexiest things he had ever heard.

“You sure you’re ready?” he said in a raspy voice. So far, their pace concerning sex had been quite slow. They hadn’t gone any farther than handjobs and blowjobs, and Len stretching Barry, preparing him and finding out what he liked so the first time for them together would be special, perfect even. As Barry had never been with another man before, Len wanted to be careful, let Barry determine the pace of this. He didn’t want to pressure him into doing anything he wasn’t totally ready for.

“I am. I’m ready. Hell, I’ve probably been for weeks.”

“Okay, then.” And now it was Len’s time to blush a little, this time only definitely from desire. “You have supplies here?”

Barry nodded. “Top drawer,” he said and gestured towards the nightstand.

Len leaned sideways and opened the drawer with one hand, taking out the bottle of lube, although no condoms. They had talked about this before. Len had gone to the doctor and let himself check for any STDs, and he had a clean bill of health. Barry couldn’t get any diseases anyway. Len still had insisted on some kind of protection, but Barry … Well, this should have been his first indication for how kinky his boyfriend really was under all those layers of clothes and behind his adorable clumsiness. Len had agreed, eventually, that for Barry’s first time, they wouldn’t use any condoms, as the feeling surely would be ten times better and he couldn’t really complain, not when Barry had asked him so nicely.

He turned back to Barry and flipped them over, pressing his lover into the mattress. He let his eyes wander over Barry’s body, sprawled out underneath him, looking so wanton and waiting. Len gulped before he leaned forward and kissed Barry deeply, coating his fingers in lubricant.

He situated himself between Barry’s legs. With the hand free of lube, he traveled down Barry’s body, pinching Barry’s nipples, teasing his sides, and at the same time, he cupped his balls, massaged them gently, before he wandered further behind and let his index finger slowly circle Barry’s hole. The other man bit back a moan, and seeing the way his lips parted and he rolled his eyes back, Len felt like doing the same. He slowly let his finger glide inside, carefully at first and moving slowly in and out. Barry was already nearly shaking underneath him with arousal.

Soon, he let a second digit glide in and the moan that escaped Barry’s lips was obscene. It definitely would give Joe West all the wrong ideas if he’s been hearing this, but Len really couldn’t care less. He scissored his fingers, stretching Barry, and stroking his prostate lightly. Barry threw back his head in pleasure and Len felt like he could come just from looking at Barry coming undone, looking like this. He added a third finger, now thrusting a little faster, hitting Barry’s prostate each time.

“Len,” and his voice sounded like sin, “I’m ready. Please.”

He gulped again and leaned forwards, pressing a kiss to Barry’s lips before he pulled him closer to him. He generously coated his cock in lube and then lifted Barry’s hips to press inside. He held him closely, Barry’s hands on around his neck and his fingernails digging into his skin. Len pushed in slow at first, just the head, and Barry was nearly vibrating already, shaking with pleasure.

“Come on, I’m ready,” he said breathlessly, “I can take more.”

“You’re so impatient, Scarlet.”

“Len, fucking _please_ , I need you–”

 He pressed forward, a little quicker now until he was fully seated, buried inside Barry to the hilt and groaned at the tight heat. He grabbed Barry’s hips harder now, pulling him towards him.  It felt like heaven, Barry all around him, clenching, hot.

“Barry,” he breathed. He had no words. He pulled out a little again, moved slowly. When he pushed inside again, Barry gasped loudly.

“ _Fuckkkk_ , Len. Feels so fucking perfect.”

He pulled out again, nearly all the way until he thrust inside again, faster, and judging by the way Barry moaned so loud he had to put his fist inside his mouth to suppress the sound, Len knew he had found his prostate. Len went faster now, the thrusts picking up in speed, hitting Barry’s prostate over and over again. The other ruffled his whines – because they were literally that – gripping his neck tightly, his blunt nails scratching over Len’s back.

“Shit, ah, wait,” Barry interrupted him suddenly and Len stilled. “ _Slower_.”

And this was probably the hottest thing he had ever heard anyone say in his life. Now he groaned loudly, but complied, moving at a far more considerable pace. He locked his gaze with Barry, his blue eyes fixing Barry’s hazel ones, although they were nearly black now, his pupils dilated.

So he pushed inside his lover slower now, trying to go in deeper than before, forcing all those ruffled noises out of him. It sounded so beautiful, and Barry looked so beautiful, spread out underneath him with his legs bend and up in the air, his arms around Len and pulling him closer. Len leaned downwards and sealed their lips together. Barry’s tongue darted out immediately and Len granted access, their tongues clashing. It was sloppy, it was wet, it was perfect.

His pace quickened, and he could feel the sweat running down his back. Len knew Barry wasn’t going to last any longer, his breaths now coming in short, harsh gasps, interrupting their kisses, and he probably wasn’t either. With every thrust, he felt himself getting closer to the edge, the tingling sensation in his stomach already present.

“Touch me.”

And Len immediately complied, taking Barry’s cock in hand and gave it a few quick strokes.

“Len, fuck, I’m – I’m gonna come–”

“That’s right, Barry, come for me.”

And Barry arched his back, the white liquid spilling all over Len’s hand and onto his stomach, and by the way he bit his bottom lip Len knew he would have cried out if they had been alone in the house. He vibrated as he rode out his aftershocks, clenching around Len, and Len groaned quietly as his own orgasm hit him and he emptied himself inside Barry. It was different than anything he had experienced before.

He collapsed onto Barry, his breath coming in short pants. They lay there like that in the aftermath, Barry’s arms still loosely around Len. After a few minutes, he carefully pulled out of Barry, grabbed the tissues on the nightstand and cleaned them both up. Barry was still lying on the mattress, blissed out, his eyes closed and he smiled in the afterglow.

“This was the best thing ever. Honestly.”

Len chuckled. He disposed of the tissues in the waste bin in the far corner. When he got back to bed, he pulled Barry into his arms, and the other immediately cuddled himself into Len’s chest, his face buried in the crook of his neck.

“So you liked it?”

“Hell, yes, Len. This was probably a) the best orgasm I ever had in my entire life, and b) the best sex I ever had.”

Len chuckled again, looking fondly at Barry. “Happy to oblige.”

Barry mmh-ed and grabbed the blanket lying at the foot of his bed and pulled it over them, snuggling against Len again.

“Barry, maybe I should go.”

“No.” He suddenly sat up and stared at him intensely. “No, Len, please stay.” Within the fraction of a millisecond, the expression in his eyes turned from satisfied and happy to pleading, and he looked somewhat terrified.

“Okay,” Len answered, “I’ll stay. I … just wasn’t sure if you wanted me here.”

“Of course I want you here! Len,” he kissed him chastely and settled against Len’s chest again, “every night over the last few days, I wished you’d be here. I couldn’t sleep properly. I missed you next to me.”

“I did, too.”

Barry sighed, sounding relieved. “So will you stay until morning?”

“I will, Scarlet, if that’s what you want me to.” He placed a kiss on the top of Barry’s head “I won’t leave you.”

He felt Barry nodding, and then pulled him closer. Barry was radiating heat, and he was so comfortable. He fitted into Len’s arms as if he was made for it. He fondled Barry’s hair, lazily. A few minutes passed, and Barry’s breathing had become rhythmic, indicating he was nearly asleep.

“Sleep well, Barry Allen.”

“G’night, Len,” Barry mumbled in response, nearly inaudible.

Len pressed a feather-light kiss on top of his head before closed his eyes.

He hadn’t lost Barry yet. This man – the man he loved – was lying in his arms, right this moment, after they had penetrative sex for the first time, and it had been perfect. Barry chose him, and he was choosing Len over and over again. And Len still couldn’t understand how he could possibly deserve someone like Barry, someone so pure, someone so perfect. But he was never going to let him go, ever, and he would make damn sure nothing would ever happen to him. Because Barry was everything, everything he ever wanted, everything he ever needed. Barry had taken such a big and important place in his life, Len couldn’t even imagine anymore what it would be like without him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for [lutavero](http://archiveofourown.org/users/lutavero/pseuds/lutavero) because she already asked me for a smut scene written from Len’s perspective ages ago, and guessed right that it’s Len sitting there on Barry's bed. ;-)  
> And this scene was _so much fun_ to write, omg.
> 
> Okay so first, I wanted them to have the big talk in the morning, meaning this chapter wasn’t actually supposed to exist. In the original outline, Barry would only have told Len he forgives him and then things would’ve gotten smutty. But then I thought, well, screw this. I didn’t want them to get intimate with each other before they hadn’t addressed all their problems, it somehow left a sour feeling in my mouth. That way, it wouldn’t have expressed all the feelings I wanted to convey because, like that, they’d had used sex as a means to cope with their shit. And I couldn’t let them have that. Talking and addressing issues is crucial in any relationship, and no matter how difficult it might be, even these two dorks have to face reality somehow at some point. And just bloody talk about their problems instead of pushing them away and compensate them with either ignoring each other or with having sex. 
> 
> And now, this chapter is literally just 1% plot, 49% feelings and 50% sex.
> 
> (I tried my best with the smut scene here and it's not as good as I hoped it would be, but smut isn’t really one of my strengths. (Yet. Maybe one day it’ll be, after a lot of practice in writing it.))
> 
> And omg your suggestions were literally the best. It was always supposed to be Len visiting Barry late at night, trying to actually talk to him (even though he needed a little outside help in the form of his rum) so they could get their shit together. But so many suggested Nero, or Ayako, and, well, wouldn’t that have been fun if it had actually been one of them. Things would surely have gone a lot different for the two boys.  
> But they’ll appear soon again, very soon, to be exact. And from that point on, shit will go down … so be prepared. ;-)
> 
> Thank you all for reading – and for your patience with me and my now very unregular and rather slow updates! (It’ll get better when I’m done with school in a few weeks. Or so I hope.) ♥


	24. Revenge Is a Dish...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nero continues to execute his plan and Barry has a difficult decision to make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **trigger warning for this chapter:** mentions of alcoholism/alcohol abuse

 

_“Don’t you know, little fool, you never can win? Use your mentality, wake up to reality, but each time that I do just the thought of you makes me stop before I begin 'cause I've got you under my skin.” – Frank Sinatra_

Monday, 7.30 am, the Wests’ house

The beeping sound of his alarm tore him out of his sleep. With a groan, Barry extended his arm, only to smash down the button and put out the annoying sound. He let himself fall back into the cushions, feeling groggier than usually.

Behind him, he heard a soft chuckle, and 0nly then he registered the warmth of another body next to him, touching skin to skin. Slowly, Barry turned, his brain only slowly coming online. He stared into a set of crystal blue eyes. Ah, right. Len had been staying the night.

“Morning,” he said with a yawn.

“Good morning to you too, love,” Len answered in a teasing tone.

Barry sighed contently and huddled closer to Len, burying his face in Len’s chest. It couldn’t already be time to get up, anyway. His alarm clock probably had gone off at the wrong time, ungratefully tearing him out of his sleep. He let his eyes fall shut again, sighing again, smiling, and he was drowsing off.

The next time he woke up, and it probably only had been a matter of seconds, really, was when cool fingers lazily dragged over his skin, rubbing soft circles in his shoulder blades and softly gliding along his sides.

“’M Len, need more sleep,” he mumbled.

“I think you’ve slept long enough already, Barry. Any longer, and you’ll be late for work.”

Work. Right. It was Monday again. He groaned. “But I don’t wanna.”

He heard Len chuckle quietly. “But you gotta. I imagine your captain won’t like it if you’re late for a case.”

“But I don’t wanna. Can’t we just, I dunno, stay here all day? Just… doing nothing… cuddling… sleeping.” He cuddled closer, wrapping his left leg around Len’s and burying his face even deeper into his chest.

“I don’t think your adopted father would be all too impressed when he asks himself why you aren’t at work and then comes looking for you and finds you in bed with me.”

“Hm. Still. Don’t wanna get up.”

Suddenly, there was a knocking on his bedroom door, accompanied by Joe’s voice coming through. “Hey, Barr, you up?”

Len shot Barry an I-told-you-so-look before Barry groaned miserably. “Yeah, I am.”

“Good. I’ll be downstairs, preparing breakfast, alright?”

“Yeah.” He sighed, turning to Len again. “I don’t want you to go,” he said as soon as Joe was out of earshot. He heard the bottom stair creak and knew Joe was out of earshot.

“I know, Scarlet, I know. But I have to.” Len cupped Barry’s cheeks, his thumb gently caressing him. “You can come by later again after you’re done with patrols, if you want to.”

Barry just nodded and then leaned forward, placing his lips on Len’s. They exchanged a lazy kiss for a few seconds, deep and affectionate, before Len pulled away, got up and dressed. He moved towards the window, carefully opening it and he was already halfway outside before Barry had reached him.

Len smiled one of his rare smiles. “See you tonight, love.”

And Barry’s stomach jolted with that pet name, fully registering it now that Len was calling him that the second time this morning. He smiled back and pressed a last kiss to Len’s lips. When he pulled away, he saw Len smirk and disappear through the window.

Barry sighed, half contently, half miserably. He let himself fall onto his bed again, and closed his eyes, inhaling the lingering scent of Len on his pillows. How easy it would be right now to just fall asleep again, with Len’s scent lulling him in, and then surely dreaming of nothing else but his boyfriend. But he knew he couldn’t wait any longer, knew he didn’t have time to linger.

So he sighed and got up, walking towards the bathroom and speeding through his morning routine in favor of being on time for once. Maybe he’d even manage to eat some breakfast here at home before he had to leave for work.

“Morning, Barr,” Joe greeted him as soon as he entered the kitchen. “Slept well?”

“Um, yeah, mostly.”

“I can imagine, with your boyfriend staying the night. So you two made up again?”

Barry whipped around. How did - did Joe _know_? Did he hear them and… what if he recognized Len’s voice?

Instead, Joe laughed. “Don’t look so surprised, and give me a little credit here. I can hear a loud ass motorcycle in the yard, and unless Iris is dating someone secret who has a bike, or Wally has suddenly decided to get into motorcycles and has gotten up early for once, it must have been your mystery boyfriend.”

Barry relaxed marginally and smiled sheepishly. He turned away from Joe to pour himself a cup of coffee. “Um, yeah. Yeah, it was my boyfriend. He sneaked in last night, and we talked a little, and... he stayed the night.”

Joe took out the milk and Nutella from the fridge and placed it on the table in the dining room. “So you two _did_ have a fight?”

“Yeah, sort of. He did something pretty shitty, something I really wasn’t happy with. But we sorted things out.” He threw some bread in the toaster.

Joe nodded. “Well, I’m glad. And I hope I soon get to meet this guy.”

“Um, yeah, sure. Soon. But, maybe not too soon.”

Joe threw him a funny look but didn’t say anything else.

They finished preparing their breakfast in silence, sitting down at the table for once.

Being able to have a proper breakfast at home during work days was indeed nice, and when they were finished, Barry was still contemplating just staying at home. Not that he would seriously do that, but he surely felt like it. After they had cleaned the kitchen, Joe sighed and made his way towards the door.

“I gotta go now, helping prepare the rest for the mayor’s gala tonight.”

Right, the mayor’s gala for his re-election campaign. Although this was usually not Joe’s field of expertise, Captain Singh had ordered him to be there, just in case something meta-human related would happen (Barry seriously hoped nothing of the sort would be the case). Barry nodded. “See you then, Joe!”

Joe waved good bye and left the house.

Barry sighed. The mayor’s gala. As the Flash, he probably would have to make an appearance there anyway, not that he was really looking forward to it. But Captain Singh had already told Barry (through Joe, of course, not that Singh knew who the Flash was) that this tonight should be on top of his priority list. Not that anyone was expecting something to happen, but somehow, deep in his gut, Barry had a feeling that something would go terribly wrong tonight.

 

 

7 pm, Central City Police Department

Although Barry’s day at work had been quiet so far, his evening certainly did not turn out to be.

It was just a little after seven while he had been picking up his things and closing his lab when he got the call from Cisco.

“Um, Barry? We might have a slight problem.”

“What is it, Cisco?”

Even through the speaker, he could feel Cisco’s anxiousness. “You know, the mayor’s gala? Apparently, Captain Cold has made an entrance¾and he has taken the mayor hostage.”

Captain Cold¾that couldn’t be– “ _What_? Are you sure Cisco?” Not caring for the mess that still was his lab, he rushed out of the door and down the stairs.

“That’s what witness’ reports say, yeah.”

“No, but – that can’t be – why the hell should Len–” Except maybe it wasn’t Len. “Shit. It’s Nero, he’s making his move.” And this was the next step to his big finale. If something happened to the mayor, and they would convict Captain Cold, not knowing that he wasn’t Leonard Snart this time. And Len would be in serious trouble.

“ _Shit_.”

“I’m coming over now.” He ended the call, and as soon as he was out of sight of the precinct, he zipped off towards S.T.A.R. Labs.

The thing was, what on earth did Nero really want to accomplish with that? Kill the mayor? For what use?

As soon as he arrived and slowed down, Barry took out his phone again and dialed Len’s number. He didn’t really think Len would pick up, he was probably dealing with some Rogues business, or maybe he even had heard already of what happened at the mayor’s gala. Still, Barry tried not to worry at the fact that Len didn’t respond.

As soon as he got inside, Cisco filled him in on the details. “There’re some witnesses that reported Captain Cold freezing his way into the building, killing two security guards, and then entering the ballroom where apparently the mayor is holding his gala. The police tried to stop him, but he shot at one of the guests and then took the mayor.”

“And where is he know?”

“Still at the gala. They say he said he’s waiting. For you, apparently.”

Shit. Well, this was so not how Barry imagined his evening to go. He nodded towards Cisco and Caitlin before he rushed off.

 

 

7:15 pm, the mayor’s gala

“Flash! So glad you could make it!”

Barry skidded to a halt in the middle of the ballroom, slipping on the icy floor. It took him a millisecond to get his bearings and look around, and what he saw almost took his breath away.

Nero stood in the middle of the room, holding the mayor by the collar in one hand, the cold gun in the other, pressed against the mayor’s temple. Around him, tables were flipped and chairs were strewn across the room, people were cowering in corners and hiding behind the tables, all looking frightened out of their wits in their elegant evening attire. Several pieces of furniture were turned into ice sculptures, the large mirror on the far wall was entirely covered in ice.

From the corner of his eye, Barry could make out Joe, standing in front of a large group of people, his gun risen and pointed at Nero. Next to him, an officer was lying on the floor, clutching his stomach, the gun forgotten on the floor.

As soon as the guests caught sight of Barry, one of them shrieked boldly. “Flash! It’s Captain Cold! Help us, please!”

A sharp and sudden beam shot forwards towards the woman who had just spoken up. Barry whipped around and darted forwards, trying to reach the person but instantly knowing he wouldn’t be fast enough.

But the woman shrieked and ducked, just in time so the beam of frost hit the wall behind her, covering it in ice.

A low, deep and white hot anger erupted inside of Barry, causing his throat to burn and he curled his fists. He wanted to punch Nero, punch that stupid, self-satisfied grin out of his face, making him pay for what he did, for endangering those lives, for almost ruining Barry’s relationship.

 “Tut, tut. What did I say about speaking?” Nero cocked his head and his lips formed a mad smile. He was wearing a blue parka, just like Len, and similar lenses. The only difference was that the parka was a shade too light, too colorful instead of the muted blue Len’s parka actually was.

Barry risked a glance at the others. A few spots on the wall were already iced, too, meaning this wasn’t the first time Nero had shot at one of them. Apart from the officer next to Joe, some others were cowering on the floor, clutching a limb or supporting one another. There were shattered pieces of ice among them lying on the floor, and one woman was crying relentlessly, looking so utterly shaken Barry had no doubt about what¾who exactly had been frozen and then turned into pieces.

The anger flared inside of Barry, hotter, more vicious, so bad that he almost lost control.

Nero had killed someone. He had literally iced them with Len’s cold gun, and then shattered them, leaving nothing but icy shards.

With lightning speed, Barry whipped around, facing Nero, gritting his teeth. “What do you want?” he yelled, taking a step forward.

“Me? Oh, I’m just having a little fun here.” He waved around the cold gun carelessly, and Barry saw the people wincing and cowering further behind the turned chairs and tables.

“What’s your endgame here? Do you want to kill the mayor? Kill everyone? What for?”

“Why do people do anything, Flash?”

Nero placed the gun against the mayor’s temple again, finger on the trigger, and the mayor’s eyes widened in fear.

“Let those people go, and then we can have a fight! That’s what you want anyway, isn’t it? You don’t care about them! You only care about your revenge. This is only about you, the real Captain Cold, and me. So let them go!”

As soon as those words have left Barry’s mouth, he could feel the room turn colder as if the gun’s ice was descending on them.

“The real Captain Cold?” Nero asked, his voice quiet, betraying nothing, but his face fell and his expression turned murderous. “Honey, I am the real Captain Cold. I am now.”

“Just because you have his gun doesn’t make you anything.” Cautiously, Barry took a step forwards, slowly getting closer to Nero. He wouldn’t let him get away this time, not again.

“What makes you so sure there is still someone out there who could claim this identity?” Nero whispered, so quiet Barry had trouble understanding him. “What makes you think Leonard Snart is still alive? Have you already seen him today, in between all those hours?”

_What?_

Cold dread washed over Barry, and suddenly, his limbs felt like lead.

“What – what do you mean?”

Nero let out a cruel laugh. “What makes you so sure I haven’t paid dear old Leo a visit just before I came here?”

“You wouldn’t kill him,” Barry said firmly, but he could feel sweat running down his back, and his stomach was feeling as if a thousand knives were twisting deeper and deeper. “That wouldn’t – you wouldn’t achieve your goals like that. You wanna ruin Len? You can’t ruin him when he’s dead.”

“Yeah, well, I may not be able to ruin him, but I could ruin you, _Scarlet_.” A shiver went down Barry’s spine. “As soon as Leonard Snart is gone, I can be the king of this city. And the only thing standing in the way of me and my throne is you. How lucky for me that the way to get rid of you is also to just get rid of Leonard Snart.”

“Barry,” Caitlin’s urgent voice rang through his ear, breaking through his fear and rage, “calm down. Focus on the task.”

“Yeah, Barry, just – take a few deep breaths for a moment. You won’t be able to help Cold when Joe has to put you in jail because you murdered the Impostor.”

He closed his eyes. They were right, of course. But still, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was very wrong.

He took a deep breath and opened his eyes again. Nero stood there looking at him, the cold gun still trained on the mayor’s temple. He looked amused, almost smiling, as if all this was just a big joke to him.

“I might, however, be inclined to make a proposition to you. A chance, if you will, to save your precious Leonard Snart.”

Barry gritted his teeth. “And what would that be?”

“He isn’t dead – not yet. But he will be in,” he paused cocking his head sideways, “approximately five minutes. Probably less.”

“What did you do to him?”

“Oh, I didn’t _do_ anything to him, not really. More like, something will be done to him. Maybe a stab in the back?” He shrugged, his expression slowly turning mad. “I’ll tell you where I put him if you let me go now.”

“And let you make yourself scarce again? After you hurt these people? After you _killed_ someone?”

“It’s your choice, Flash. You’ll have to decide what’s more important to you, bringing me in, or saving your boyfriend, who happens to be also a criminal.” He shrugged again, smiling sweetly. “You decide.”

“Barry,” Cisco’s voice sounded in his ear, “it’s okay if you decide to look for Cold. We won’t be angry.”

“We’ll always be able to catch him another time. And after you get Sn–Leonard back, we can always plot together, and make a proper plan on how to catch Nero.”

A part of Barry was relieved, relieved that his friends supported him, and understood how important Len was to him. And they were right. He’d never forgive himself if something happened to Len if he decided to bring Nero in now, and especially if he’d fail at bringing in Nero. Because then he would have nothing, no Nero, no Len.

“Alright, where is he?”

Nero laughed. “Warehouse district, Watford Street corner. The smallest one with the rusty roof. I’d hurry if I were you.”

He threw Nero a last glance before he sped off, carefully avoiding catching anyone’s eye. Nero wouldn’t stay around the gala any longer, he was pretty sure of that. Not if there was a chance that the Flash would come back for him. And yet, Barry couldn’t shake the feeling that was starting to form in the pit of his stomach, that he had let those people there down.

 

 

7:33 pm, warehouse district, Watford Street corner

Barry stopped right in front of the building Nero had described.

“Cisco, can you see anything in there?”

“There aren’t any security cameras to hack into, no special ultraviolet, no cold signature, nothing.”

Barry sighed. “So it’s just old school exploring then.”

“Barry, please be careful,” Caitlin said in his ear. “we don’ know what’s inside, there could be some of Nero’s lackeys lurking in there, waiting for you to rush in carelessly. And – you don’t know what he has done to Leonard. So… please, be careful.”

“Yeah, I will.” The pit in his stomach was starting to feel like a canyon, deep and with no ground in sight.

He steeled himself before he zipped off again, rounding the building once, looking for any entries and anyone lurking around. There was no one, and apart from a pretty normal looking backdoor, there was only the large front gate. The gate was not, to his surprise, locked, and the door squeaked as he opened it.

But once inside, he was greeted with nothing. The warehouse had only one room, and it was completely empty. Not even a chair stood in the middle, nothing. And more importantly, Len wasn’t anywhere to be seen.

But before Barry had a chance to freak out, his eye caught a piece of paper lying on the floor in the middle of the warehouse. Carefully, he picked it up, and only then he noticed how much his fingers were trembling.

 _Hello Flash,_ the note read,  
_apparently, you fell for my little lie. You should really learn to not trust criminals. But, honestly, what else is to be expected from someone who tumbles into bed with one of the world’s most notorious criminals? (Spoiler alert: nothing else.)_  
_Anyway, don’t bother coming back now. I’ll be gone, and, if you inspect the last few minutes carefully, everything went according to my plan. I mean, I got you scared, I got to know what your weaknesses are, and I denounced Captain Cold’s name. What more could I wish for, except you and Leo dead?_  
_But that’s another story. More importantly, as I said before, I know your weakness now. (I knew it before, but now I’m sure.) You’ll do anything for the people you love. But here’s the thing: Leo would do the same. Aren’t you two quite a pair?_  
_I’ll be going now. But, before, a little something for you to think about while I plot the final stages of my revenge: You left me there with all the other citizens, just so you could save one person. Ask yourself, Flash: is this one person really worth the lives you endangered? And I don’t mean those few at the gala, oh no. No, I mean all those citizens of Central City. Can you fully consciously be okay with sacrificing their lives just so you can get your way and your happiness with your boyfriend?_  
_Not very hero-like, in my opinion, but that’s on your plate._  
_Yours truly,_  
_The new Captain Cold_

Barry crumpled the note in his hand, now shaking with both fury and fear.

Nero was right. He had endangered those people. If someone had died during his absence, then that death would be his fault.

And he still didn’t know where Len was, or if he was okay.

“Barry?” Caitlin’s careful voice rang through his ear, “what’s going on? Are you okay?”

“Wha – Yeah, everything’s fine. Len isn’t here. Nero just tricked me. Is he still at the gala?”

He heard the clicking of Cisco tipping away on his keyboard over the comms. “Um, no, he’s gone.”

Barry cursed. “Fine, whatever. I’m coming over now.” Clutching the note tightly, he rushed off.

 

 

7:45 pm, S.T.A.R. Labs

Barry was pacing the floor, anxiously clutching his phone, waiting for Len to call back.

“So, again,” Joe repeated, still looking outraged and shocked and pissed and concerned all the same, “this guy tonight is called Nero Fitzgerald? And he has stolen Snart’s cold gun a few months ago?”

“Yes.” As soon as Barry had gotten back to S.T.A.R. Labs, he had called Joe and asked him to come over. Then he had called Len, asking him to come as well, but he had only reached his voice mail, which didn’t help at all to calm his nerves and reassure him of his boyfriend’s safety and well-being.

Cisco and Caitlin were sitting at the computer terminals, anxiously looking at Joe and Barry.

“And Snart hasn’t gotten it back in the meantime?”

“Well, obviously not.”

Joe shot Barry a warning look but didn’t comment. Instead, he shook his head. “When exactly did this happen, anyway?”

Barry tilted his head, doing the mental math. “About six months ago?”

Joe gaped at him, his eyes wide as if they were popping out of his head. “Six months? Someone stole his cold gun half a year before and he hasn’t gotten it back yet?”

“Well, no. All the plans of getting it back failed so far.” Barry sighed, dragging his hand through his hair.

“I still don’t get why that Nero guy would do that. Especially do something so stupid as attacking the mayor, dressed up as Captain Cold and pretending to be him. That’s not even Snart’s style.”

“He wants to ruin Len’s credibility as a super villain and become the king of Central City. At least that’s what he said.”

Cisco snorted.

“… _Len_?” Joe interrupted, piercing him with a calculating glare.

Barry groaned. He was so not in the mood for a talk like this, for telling Joe about all the things he had been hiding. Joe would be furious, of course he would be. But he had walked into that one himself, and Barry knew he couldn’t get out of this now, not this time.

“Since when did Captain Cold become _Len_?” Joe asked, now intensely staring at Barry with a piercing glare, a bite in his voice that it raised Barry’s hackles.

With half a mind, Barry considered to just lie to Joe, to tell him just anything to satisfy him and make it seem plausible. But he knew this wouldn’t do any good, and considering he wanted Joe to accept Len at some point soon in the future, he knew it was more plausible and wise to come clean now, at least partly.

If Len was still alive. But Barry couldn’t afford to think like that. He had to believe Len was okay. Maybe he was just busy, or already driving, and that’s why he couldn’t pick up his phone.

Barry took a deep breath and stopped pacing, turned and faced Joe, his arms crossed over his chest. “A few months ago, Len¾Snart sought me out in Jitters and asked for my help, saying that someone had stolen his cold gun. He –”

“Hold on a sec. How could someone be able to steal something from _Leonard Snart_ at all?”

“Joe, just… Let me finish explaining, please. I know it might seem fishy, but he had his reasons. When he asked me for my help to get his gun back, I asked him that exact question. And he told me how someone had broken into his apartment at night while his sister had been staying over and had injured her. Lisa had to go to the hospital with severe frostbite.”

“Holy shit, dude!” Cisco interrupted him. “You’ve never told us about that part! Is she okay?”

Barry paused. “Um, yeah, she is. She made a full recovery, apparently, and woke up a few weeks ago after being in a coma for a few months. Not some her-life-is-in-danger-coma, but a medically induced one. Apparently, the doctors had thought it’d be for the best. She had been hurt pretty bad.”

Cisco shook his head disapprovingly, but Barry knew he was just worried and relieved at the same time.

“So,” he continued and turned towards Joe again, “after the talk with Snart at Jitters, I went to the hospital to check on Lisa and see if he was telling the truth. Because yes, Joe, the thought that Snart might just be playing me had occurred to me, too.” He loosened his arms and threw a quick glance at his phone. Still no text or call back from Len.

He knew his anxiety must be showing, his shoulders tense and his face probably all hard lines and furrowed eyebrows, he knew Joe must see the signs too. But he couldn’t get himself to relax, even if it was just for show, not until he knew Len was okay.

“Anyway, after that, I agreed to help him. Because as much as I hate him having that gun, knowing how much harm that thing can do, I’d rather see it in the hands of someone I trust and someone who has a moral code he follows, than in the hands of some unknown criminal with a reputation for chaos and who is out there for vengeance.

“So then, Len and I then started planning, and we tried to take Nero down one time so far, not really too successful. We had a plan on how to finish him once and for all, but… things went a bit south.”

Joe eyed him suspiciously. “What exactly does ‘finishing him once and for all’ mean?”

“Not killing him, Joe, you know I’d never support that. The plan was to appraise him and drop him off at the CCPD. Nero Fitzgerald happens to be a thief, just like Len, just a more ruthless one. And then add possession of an unregistered and dangerous weapon, he could’ve easily been sent to Iron Heights.”

“And I guess somehow things didn’t go according to plan?”

Barry shook his head, starting to pace again while Joe remained to stand, not moving an inch and his eyes still piercing Barry with his typical Cop-Dad glare. “After that, we made a new plan, a plan we intended to execute a week from now on.”

“Intended as in past tense?” Barry could feel the accusation coming off of Joe in waves.

“Yes,” he snapped. “Some things happened and we had to abandon the old plan.”

“And those ‘some things’ don’t happen to have anything to do with you feeling so down lately, do they?”

Barry’s heart dropped. Joe was right, of course he was, and of course he could see right through Barry. “Joe…” he pleaded, hoping against hope he would drop the matter. But that was answer enough already, Barry knew it.

After a few tense moments, Joe sighed and dragged his hand over his head, as if he wanted to run his hand through his hair if they were long enough. “What I just don’t get is that, why would that Nero guy steal it in the first place?”

Barry opened his mouth to answer, but a sudden voice interrupted him, “Because Nero wants revenge.”

Barry’s heart skipped a beat. He hadn’t heard Len coming in, but now his heart felt light with relief. Len looked the same as ever, unharmed, dressed in all black, his shoulders tense and his expression angry. But he was okay. Nero had only bluffed and Len was okay.

Len stepped inside the cortex and stood next to Barry. “Cisco, Dr. Snow,” he greeted them. “Detective.” He nodded towards Joe, smirking, and Barry could see Joe itching to grab his gun.

“Snart.”

But Len didn’t even react, and instead, he turned towards Barry, and his expression changed into soft and tender in a millisecond. “Hello, Barry,” he said, staring him right into his eyes, and Barry knew. This one, simple look, conveyed so much, so many emotions, concern, relief, happiness and also the carefully hidden nervousness. Barry wanted to jump forward and kiss Len, hold him, but knew he couldn’t not yet, not when he knew Joe was still in denial, although his expression likely must convey the obvious.

“Hey, Len,” he said with a croaky voice.

Joe cleared his throat. “What exactly does he want revenge for?”

The moment was broken, the tension and emotions between them ebbing down. Len tilted his head sideways, finally tearing his eyes from Barry and breaking the heated stare. “I wronged him in the past, did something not all too nice to him and his family.”

Joe scoffed. “Yeah, no big surprise there.”

“I don’t expect you to understand my reasons, detective.”

“No, I don’t understand them, and I’m not trying to.”

Barry could feel Len tense next to him, no doubt readying himself for any kind of snarky remark, but help came in form of Cisco. “But that’s not the important part here, is it? The important part now is how we’re finally gonna stop the Impostor–”

“Seriously, Cisco? You named even him?”

“Barry’s suggestion, not mine – and make sure he gets behind bars and Cold gets his cold gun back. Because I agree with Barry on that part, I’d much rather see my gun–”

“It’s _my_ gun, Cisco.”

“Shut up, Cold, I built the gun, so it’s mine. I’d much rather see _my_ gun–” Cisco glared at Len for a second, “–in his hands than in the hands of some crazy Italian idiot with a massive father complex.”

Len tilted his head to the side apprehensively, and even Joe nodded in agreement.

“Alright, yeah. This argument,” Joe said and pointed towards Barry and Len, “has time for a few more days until this mess with this Nero guy is dealt with. But don’t think you’re off the hook now, I want to know the truth. The whole truth of what had been happening over those months.”

Barry felt as if he was being x-rayed, Joe’s stare so intense and full of concern, and with this knowing look, Barry had to gulp.

“Understood, detective,” Len answered, seemingly unfazed but Barry knew by now how to read him, his expression and gesture.  Even though Len’s face was a mask of smug confidence, his hands were clenching and unclenching, just a little. But it was enough to tell Barry how Len really was feeling on the inside.

It was Caitlin who broke the tension this time. “So, do we have any plans so far on what to do against Nero?”

“I and Lisa do, actually.”

Barry looked over at Len and quickly caught his gaze.

“And what plan would that be?”

Barry gave Len a small smile before he answered, “Len breaks into the museum to steal the Rose of the North and leaves a message for Nero. That’s gonna lure him out of his hiding, hopefully, and then we all,” he said pointedly looking at Len, “take him down and bring him in.”

And Len just looked back at him, his stare intense, but he didn’t object.

So they were doing this together, the Flash and the Rogues, as a team.

“So you just wanna let Snart get away with stealing something?”

“He will put it back. Won’t you, Len?”

Len’s expression turned to annoyed in an instant. “Fine, if you must insist,” he answered with a dismissive wave of his hand.

Barry just raised his eyebrows. Secretly, he knew Len would certainly not put the Rose back. He would keep it, most likely. But Barry didn’t really want to fight him on this, and honestly, he didn’t care this time if Len stole something. The stupid Rose had always been part of their plan – well, of their fake plan. And if this was going to help to finish Nero, then so be it. Barry had almost lost his relationship, so narrowly lost his boyfriend just because of someone from Len’s past. If the Rose was the only collateral, then fine. As long as he got to keep his relationship; as long as he got to keep Len in his life.

Joe nodded, still looking suspicious. “And when is that plan supposed to go down, exactly?”

“Soon. More, I can’t say yet,” Len answered. “Though I’m gonna take this as my cue to leave. I have to get back to my sister and my Rogues to do some… damage control.”

Barry nodded. “I’ll walk you out.”

Len walked towards the exit but turned around again to face Joe and the others. “I’ll talk the plan through with my sister and Mick, and then I’ll be in touch.”

Joe just nodded tensely. Len gave a last mocking wave before he left the cortex and Barry followed him.

As soon as they were outside, Len came to a halt, and immediately pulled Barry into his arms and hugged him. Barry melted in his arms, burying his face in the side of his neck.

“Are you okay?” Len whispered after a while, still not letting go and just holding Barry.

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking that question? I mean, Nero did say that he somehow got to you and hurt you. That he’d killed you, even.” The last few words came out as a sob.

“I’m okay, Nero didn’t do anything to me.” Len pressed a kiss to Barry’s temple, and only then he let go, but just a little, still holding Barry in his arms, now being able to look him in the eyes. “But are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, he didn’t actually do anything to me.”

Len sighed, and Barry could feel the tension in his shoulders ebb away, Len relaxing in his arms. “Good. I really was worried about you, Barry.” He cupped his face and just held him, running his thumb over his cheek.

“Do you think the plan will work?”

“It has to. It’s our only option, and it’s the best shot we got.”

Barry nodded. “I should let you get to your Rogues, I guess.”

“Any chance I’ll still see you later?”

“I can come by if you want.”

Len leaned forward and pressed a tender kiss to Barry’s lips, and brought their foreheads together. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

Barry smiled. “Be careful, yeah?”

“I will, Barry.”

He nodded again and kissed Len goodbye, wrapping his arms around his broad shoulders while Len pulled him closer by his waist, on hand still on his cheek and the other clutching him, holding him tight.

It was Len who pulled away first. “See you later, Scarlet,” he said with a smile, and Barry insides melted.

For now, they got away, and Barry was sure Len would be able to deal with his Rogues, make sure they believed this tonight hadn’t been him. As much as he didn’t like Len’s role as a sort-of mob boss, controlling powerful metahumans and criminals with high tech weapons alike, he did understand the importance of a leader, a powerful and respected leader. Even though he didn’t have Len’s explicit confirmation, he was pretty sure Mark Mardon was one of his Rogues, and a powerful meta like him following a code, following Len, was better than having him running around alone, wreaking havoc and chaos in the city.

Maybe all would turn out well, and their plan to take down Nero would work out for once.

 

 

11 pm, “The Virgin” bar in Keystone

The bartender was pouring more bourbon in your glass. It was your third so far, equally a celebration as just an old habit, an old habit of drinking too much as soon as your feelings just got too much, too heavy, too contradicting.

But mostly, it was a celebration. It was a celebration for another plan perfectly executed. You had the boy where you wanted him¾the Flash, the city’s beloved hero, dropping everything and running back to his precious, criminal boyfriend. You knew now: Barry Allen, CSI with Central City’s finest at day, righteous vigilante at night, would do a lot to save Leonard Snart.

And you knew: Leonard Snart would also do anything for him. What a beautiful tragic. And how weak they were.

You signaled the bartender to refill your glass, your fourth now – and just this one, but not another, four should be enough, had to be enough for one night.

Tonight was a celebration, you had every reason to. Just a few hours after you had left the gala, your new informant had called, and what of an informant he was. Gorgeous, too, with amazing hair. And powerful. It wasn’t every day a single man could control the weather and hold storms in his hands.

Convincing Mark Mardon to join your little gang was one of the more successful achievements, you believed. Weather Wizard had called merely half an hour ago, reporting on Leonard’s response to your little stunt. Apparently, he had tried to convince his followers that this hadn’t been him, but some impostor, someone trying to ruin his credibility.

As of this was your only goal. Leo knew this, knew your real plan. But as always, he tried to play his cards close to his chest, and that’s what would get him killed one day.

That was the reason Mark Mardon was now following you instead.

Your ranks were growing, getting more and more powerful, and soon, very soon, they would be more powerful than Leonard’s. Soon, you could finally take on him, take him over.

With tonight, dear little Leo already seemed a lot weaker. Attacking the mayor? That was a stupid call, as anyone sane enough in the criminal underworld and with the mob would know. Bribe and threats, that was how things were normally done.

Your act tonight had been risky, but in the end, it had paid off. You knew your enemy’s weaknesses now, knew finally what to do to break Leonard Snart, once and for all.

He would get what he deserved.

And he did deserve it.

He did.

You emptied your glass and motioned for the bartender to refill it one single time.

Leonard Snart did deserve what was coming to him. And oh, the things that were coming. It would be so much fun to watch him, to watch him struggle, fight, but eventually realize there was no way out. He would break. And victory would be yours.

Leo did deserve it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so, so, so sorry for taking so long to finally update. I don't even have a proper apology, except that I graduated and had a shitton of stuff to study and that it was time-consuming as hell. And then real life happened too, so there barely was time to sit down and write, let alone any kind of inspiration or muse. 
> 
> Anyway, apart from my lack of updates, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Let me know what you think! :) 
> 
> And I have a [tumblr](http://www.itsbrookeks.tumblr.com) now, where I mostly reblog ColdFlash stuff and sometimes other things, and where we can chat! <3


	25. ... Best Served Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next step of Nero’s plan is set into action which drives Len near the breaking point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **warnings:** implied torture (not explicit)

 

_“Just one more hit and then we're through 'cause you could never love me back, cut every tie I have to you 'cause your love's a fucking drag but I need it so bad.” – Panic! At The Disco_

 

 

When he regained consciousness again, the first thing he noticed was the all surrounding darkness. Then, something was put over his head, because he felt like he had been breathing the same air for the last twenty minutes, it was so thick and the oxygen levels must be at an all-time low. The third thing was the excruciating pain as if his head was split open.

He tried to remember what happened.

And he did. Which meant that slowly the panic was setting in.

“Pretty please, Nero, dear. Just a peek.”

Tied to a chair. His back was too straight. Cuffed, gagged, and something metallic was around his neck. Something that made him feel drowsy and so _slow_.

 _Oh, God._ They were holding him hostage. And he had no way of getting away.

“No. That secret is not yours to know.”

The voices sounded vaguely familiar, ruffled and, if his ears didn’t deceive him, something around twenty feet away.

Turning his head to see something did nothing, only nearly made him fall over. The bounds on his wrists and ankles were so tight they were cutting into his skin and left absolutely no room to move or even think of getting out of them.

“Just do what we talked about, and maybe, if you’re lucky, you’ll find out anyway.”

“You really think he’s gonna fall for it?”

_Fall for what?_

“I know him. He will. And then, you and I both get our revenge.”

Oh, no, no, no. They were using him as bait.

He didn’t need his eyes to know that the men were both smiling evilly. Two pairs of footsteps were coming nearer, and the panic only intensified. He knew leaning back as far as possible in the chair wouldn’t help him in any way, but his instincts were taking over.

He had to get away, asap.

The footsteps came to a halt in front of him, maybe only one feet distance between him and the two men.

“Now, we play.”

 

 

Tuesday, 9 pm, S.T.A.R. Labs

 

“Cisco, have you heard from Barry today?”

“Hm?” Cisco looked up from his computer screen, right in the middle of designing a new version of the Flash suit. He had had a few sweet ideas on how to improve it, including full-spectrum scanning and a self-repairing armor.

“I mean, it’s not unusual he’s at work this long, but then, he usually texts?”

Cisco glanced at the watch and then checked his phone. No new messages or missed calls. The last time Barry had written something in their group chat had been at noon after he had stopped that robbery in the corner store a block off the precinct. “Huh. Weird.”

“Right?” Caitlin sat down next him, biting her bottom lip and twisting her fingers in her lap. “Maybe I’m becoming too much of a mother hen or something, but it’s just… weird. I’m a little worried.”

“Nah, Cait, he will be fine. Maybe he just went straight to Snart’s right after work and they got so… caught up he just forgot to text,” he said, although he put more confidence in his voice than he felt.

Though it was pretty much very like Barry.

Caitlin shrugged. “Maybe you’re right.”

“I always am. Just chill, I’m sure he will show up soon.” He gave Caitlin a reassuring smile that would hopefully calm her nerves down when suddenly a loud screeching noise echoed through the building.

“What the—” The words “security breach” were sprawled wide across every screen, blaring in their faces in an aggressive red color.

“I’ll call Barry,” Caitlin said, voice controlled but the little panic that was ebbing through could hardly be controlled.

Cisco just nodded and sprang off his chair, grabbing his goggles and faced the entrance. He’d blast anyone away who would enter the building within the next few seconds, just hoping that it was just a false alarm and it was finally Barry arriving and having forgotten the new passcode.

The footsteps echoed loudly in the hallway, and judging by their frequency and how heavy they were coming down on the concrete floor, it must be a man.

A man who was not Barry.

But who…?

“I see you updated your security measures. I’m impressed,” a cold voice drawled.

And of fucking course. Cisco lowered his hands and scowled at Snart as soon as he entered the cortex. “Really, dude? You know, you could just have called or something. Do you know how much effort I had to put into upgrading the system? Now, I’ll have to reprogram, again, so, thanks for nothing.”

Snart stared at him, unimpressed.

“Cisco, I can’t reach Barry… oh.”

“Good day to you, Doctor Snow. Cisco.” He tilted his head in their directions. Caitlin came to stand next to Cisco, looking a little friendlier in Cold’s direction.

But Cold being here… no. He didn’t dare to think of it. Maybe Snart just needed something from him, a cold cell for any possible kinky sex games he and Barry had going on. Yikes. “Did you just come here to annoy us or is there actually a purpose?”

He clicked his tongue in an annoyed fashion. “As you obviously have noticed already, Barry isn’t answering his phone.”

Well, shit. No kinky sex games, then.

“Maybe he’s caught up at work.”

“It’s nine in the evening.”

“So? Maybe there’s a case or something.”

They could tell Snart was on edge even though he tried very hard not let it shown. His fingers were twitching, and he couldn’t keep his arms still. One moment, he had them crossed in front of his torso, the other he let them fall down at his sides and kept fiddling with a loose thread in the side of his jeans. His eyes were running around, never keeping still and surely not looking either of them in the eyes.

“Have you heard from him today at all?”

“Not yet,” Caitlin answered, and now her concern was coming back full force, Cisco could tell. “But, really, it’s not all that unusual, sometimes he’s held up at the precinct.”

Snart sighed, and suddenly he looked so vulnerable and… scared that now, Cisco started to get worried, too. “I just have feeling that something’s happened to him. Call it a sixth sense, if you will, but something’s off.”

Cisco nodded. “I’ll check. Maybe I can track his phone. Or vibe him. Maybe he just fell asleep during work. Wouldn’t be the first time,” he added under his breath.

“Thank you.” He sounded sincere. Chills were creeping down Cisco’s spine. Jesus.

He tapped away on his computer, and it didn’t take him long to track the GPS signal from Barry’s phone. “The last time he used it was around two in the afternoon at Jitters. Since then, nada.”

Snart started pacing, the restless energy that bounced off him was enough to make him jittery, too. “And you have no other way of finding where he is?”

“Wait, gimme a sec.” He went over to the changing rooms they still had here at the Labs and took one of the spare change of clothes Barry kept here. But be felt or saw nothing. The pit in his stomach started to get bigger and bigger. Maybe Cold was right.

“No vibe. I have no clue where he is.”

“Maybe we should call Joe, ask him if he’s with him,” Caitlin chimed in, and her voice had this soothing tone she usually used to deliver bad news. She took out her phone and called him before either of them could respond. He picked up on the first ring, but the way Caitlin’s eyes took a slightly panicked look, they knew Joe hadn’t seen Barry either.

“He’s not at the precinct. In fact, he hasn’t returned from his lunch break and they haven’t seen him or reached him since.”

Snart suddenly stopped in his pacing, and his expression turned murderous. But before he could do anything, the large TV screen came to life, and what it showed them was something that made their blood turn ice cold.

It was a warehouse, no furniture and dimly lit. In the middle was a man sitting on a chair, tied up with a black satchel pulled over his head. Caitlin gasped loudly and it felt like the temperature in the room was dropping below freezing levels.

“Good evening, citizens of Central City,” a slimy, sickly sweet voice sounded through the room, while the man to which it belonged to entered the screen. “This is a message for the man that goes by the alias of Captain Cold. Leonard Snart,” the Impostor said as he stood half behind, half next to Barry, “I have your precious Flash here. He will not go anywhere, nor will he be able to speed away and save himself.” He patted on Barry’s shoulder, and Cisco could see him flinch away. “You know my demands. Do as I asked of you, and then, step away—leave town, and never come back. I give you until midnight. If you fail to deliver, I will expose the Flash’s identity to the entire city, and then kill him.

“So, dear citizens, if you want to keep your dear Scarlet Speedster alive and running around, I urge all of you to keep an eye out on the streets. Because there’s an option two, if you don’t want to rely on some lying criminal, which is totally understandable.” He cocked his head to the side and Cisco could see how he might sound convincing to some. Friendly body language, charismatic, good-looking, and saying things that sounded totally sensible.

“Anyone who brings me Leonard Snart’s head will be rewarded. And I might be convinced to let him,” he patted Barry’s shoulders again, “go. So, _Leo_ : get me the Rose or die trying. Time’s running.”

And the screen went black again.

“That _motherfucker_ —”

“Hey, Cold, calm down”

“Calm down? This useless piece of shit son of a bitch has my boyfriend as a hostage!”

He sighed, partly to calm himself down, but partly out of a nervous habit. “Look, I might have a plan how we can save him. Caitlin, call Joe, he will want to be in on this. Snart, call Lisa, or Rory, or both, I don’t care. We need manpower for this. That is, if you don’t wanna follow through with the Impostors demands?”

“Does it fucking look like it?”

No, in fact, it looked like as if Snart was ready to kill anyone and anything that would stand between him and Barry. Cisco shrugged.

Snart nodded. “Then bring it on. Nero’ll pay for what he did.”

 

***

 

“If I were you, I wouldn’t get my hopes up, _Flash_.”

It hadn’t taken Barry long to recognize the sickly sweet voice. Nero was the only one who would have any use in kidnapping him and using him as bait. Well, Nero and Mark Mardon.

Who happened to be the second man in this room, the one who wanted to find out the Flash’s identity so badly. Barry didn’t want to think about what damage he could do with that knowledge, not only to him but to his family, to Joe and Iris. He didn’t need a revival of that tidal wave. Or Joe being kidnapped. No.

But Mardon was not only a danger to his family but also the whole of Central City. Especially if he had run over and betrayed Len and the Rogues, and was now obviously working for Nero.

“He won’t come. He’ll save his own ass like he always does.”

“Or, he has gone soft. In that case, I’ll have the pleasure of killing him myself,” Mardon said, his voice dripping with malevolent glee from somewhere to Barry’s left. “In a relationship with the Flash,” he spat, “and I actually thought he was worth what the people were saying about him. But I—we don’t need a leader that’ll spare our worst enemy over and over again just so he can fuck him all night long and robs us of the chance to be our true selves.”

Barry let out a laugh. “So you think Nero’s the one who can take his place? Did he not tell you about his—”

The punch in his stomach came unexpectedly. Pain exploded like a small bomb, tears were forming in his eyes. He felt like he had to throw up. Taking a beating obviously still hurt as much as back in high school.

“What? What does he mean?”

“Nothing,” Nero said in his susurrate voice. “Snart just took one over on me, foiled my heist because he wanted all the money for himself. He ratted me out to the police, afterward, which forced me to leave the city.”

Mardon scoffed. “Sounds like him. Acts like he has honor but he’s the worst of us. I say we put him in the ground as soon as he gets here.”

“Patience. We have bigger plans than that. But as soon as I am done with him, he is all yours.”

If he still felt sick from the pain or from nausea caused by the fear, Barry didn’t know. He just hoped that maybe Len would be smart about this, not rush in. Meet Nero’s demands. But not come here personally.

As much as it pained him to think that, but it was the only way for him to stay safe. Barry would be able to handle himself. He’d get out. Or maybe the CCPD would start looking for him if he didn’t show up for work tomorrow. He didn’t need Len to rush in like a knight in shining armor and save the day.

No, he’d be fine on his own.

“And now, my dear Flash, let’s see if these cuffs also dim your ability to heal quickly.”

Footsteps were coming nearer.

“Consider this your punishment for talking.”

But the voice remained where it was.

Oh, no.

He felt the way the air was suddenly charged differently before he heard the crackling of a lightning bolt in Mardon’s hands.

And then came the pain, and suddenly, everything went black.

 

 

***

 

Forty-eight minutes later, they had formed a plan on how to get Barry out of the warehouse with raising as little suspicion and attention as possible. Lisa and Joe both arrived in record time. (Len hadn’t informed Mick because even though his strength would surely come in handy and although it was one of the rare times he shared Mick’s desire to just fucking burn something, in a mission as delicate as this, he didn’t want to jeopardize the one shot they got. He was like a loose bullet, after all, and Len appreciated it most of the time, but they so did not need the heat now.)

Cisco had the suspicion that Nero was using power-dampening cuffs on Barry, and the question of where he might have gotten them led to worrying answers, but none of which mattered to Len right now.

Analyzing the video footage that tipped them off about Nero’s location since the cold signature betrayed nothing, but the closest they could zero in on him was on the south side of Central City the area was nearly a mile wide.

But it was something, and if Len had to turn over every single stone to find Barry, he’d do it. And then find Nero and his miserable life. Nut her had his suspicion where he might keep Barry.

“Remember,” West said as he, Lisa, and Len were putting on their jackets and tucking away their guns—Len still sans cold gun, but maybe he’d get a chance to change that today, “no killing. This isn’t authorized by the CCPD, and I don’t want any trouble on my hands.”

“Don’t worry, Detective, we’ll play along.” Lisa offered him a false smile while charging and de-charging her gold gun. The implications were clear, and West raised his eyebrows but didn’t say anything otherwise.

“If the CCPD would be smart, they’d have Barry’s identity figured out anyway,” Lisa said with a dismissive wave of her hand.

“Yeah, that’s another thing. How come you know it, anyway?”

Lisa and Len looked at each other. “That’s a conversation for another day, Detective,” Len drawled. “Now, we have more important things to do, don’t you think?”

“Whatever, Snart. But we’ll be having words.”

Len just waved his hand in West’s general direction.

“Okay, let’s go then.”

Len and Lisa took their motorcycles to drive there, Joe used his squad car. The drive was uneventful, fairly quick. In just a few minutes they arrived at the respective area. It was vast, yes, but mostly full of abandoned buildings of families who had gained more money and moved to a nicer spot in Central. Len still had an apartment here which he occasionally used to lay low.

If Len’s suspicion was right, Nero was holding Barry in an abandoned warehouse, roughly in the middle of the quarter near the train tracks. It would be the same old warehouse Nero used back in 1999, because he was just as dramatic as Len, and wouldn’t it just be nice, for old time’s sake?

Quietly, Len led the way, with Lisa and West following him.

No one was on the streets tonight in this area. Actually, it was unusually quiet.

This was the first clue he got that they had walked straight into a trap.

But Barry was his priority, and if it meant he had to walk into a hundred of traps, he would gladly do it again if it meant he had a chance at saving him.

The first of Nero’s goons greeted them roughly twenty yards off the warehouse. He had a strange tattoo that looked like an eye on his forehead and Len had the feeling he knew this guy from somewhere.

Quickly, all three of them raised their guns at the man, but he was quicker. As soon as he laid eyes on them, the eye tattoo seemed to glow unnaturally, and half a second later what looked like a thin stream of fire was shooting out of it and towards them.

It exploded as soon as it hit the ground. The three of them sprung away, just barely managing to avoid any flying pieces of concrete.

“What the fuck!” Lisa screamed, outraged, and shot a jet of gold back towards their attacker.

“What did just happen?” Cisco asked through the comms.

“New meta-human. Shot some explosive out of an eye tattoo on his forehead.”

“ _Ohhhhhh_ , you mean like—”

“Cisco, don’t you _dare_ —”

“Sparky Sparky Boom Man!”

Len would have groaned if he had thought they’d have the time for that. The three were ducking behind a small building that looked only a little bigger than a garden shed. He looked his sister in the eye, then let them drop to her gun and motioned with his head towards the meta. She nodded, understanding what he meant.

Slowly, holding three fingers up, he counted down to zero. Lisa spun around and out of their hiding spot quicker than Len could follow her movement with his eyes. The years of doing figure skating were surely paying off. As quick as an ordinary bullet, she shot at the meta, hitting him square in his tattoo eye. The man stumbled backward and raised his hands to shield his head, but it was too late, the golden substance covered his head and made him fall backward on the ground where he didn’t move anymore.

“I thought I specifically said no killing!” West screamed.

“Relax, he’s not dead. Cisco upgraded my gun. If I want to, the gold will allow him to breathe. You can call your boys later and thank me for hand-delivering the CCPD a known arms dealer.”

“He better be,” West said begrudgingly.

They moved forward, their guns still out and ready for the next one to come out of their hiding place. Because one single man couldn’t really be the only guard, could it?

He really should have knocked on wood. Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, six guys appeared and formed a loose circle around them.

“Well, fuck.”

The fight started suddenly. As if on cue, two goons came running towards them, while at the same time, jets of gold, as well as bullets, were shooting through the air. Lisa’s attack hit one of them, engulfing him whole, while West’s bullet merely hit another goon’s leg.

Len strode forward in favor of hand-to-hand combat, picking one who was wielding a baseball bat instead of a gun. As soon as Len was in range, he swung the bat, but Len was quick. He ducked, kicking the guy’s chin while doing so. He came up again just as quick, swinging his fist forward until it collided with the man’s sternum. The momentum knocked him back a little, and it was all Len needed.

Using the blunt end of his gun, he knocked it on the goon’s head. He went down like a sack of potatoes. One down.

No time to catch his breath, Len spun around. But he was too slow. The guy’s fist collided with his jaw, then his midsection. Pain exploded in his abdomen, nausea coiling in his gut. His vision narrowed.

Out of the corner of his eye, Len saw another swing of a fist. Though this time, he let himself drop to the floor, rolling to the side and out of the way.

Just as quickly, he got up again, just as the other tried to get another hit in. But as big as the man was, that was slowing him down.

Len sprang backward, just out of arm’s reach. Then, he spun around, flinging his arm out. _Crack_ , and the sound of his fist hitting a nose sounded through the air. The man stumbled and it was all Len needed for his attack. A few steps forward, pulling his arm back and letting it snap forward again, this time hitting the jaw in return. Shooting his foot forward, pulling the goon’s legs out from under him.

Out of nowhere, gold shot forward, gluing his feet and himself to the ground. Two down.

Lisa winked at him before she took care of the man behind her before he had even as much of a chance to blink. That was his baby sister.

Quickly, Len overlooked the scene. Two guys were already handcuffed by West, two guys had some body parts gilded in a way that made it unable for them to move. Len’s first opponent still lay unconscious on the ground. One guy still fighting his sister and West.

Only one other guy left. Len’s eyes zeroed in on him. The other seemed to be aware of the danger he had gotten himself into at the same time. Slowly, he raised his hands in surrender, but before Len could make any move, he turned around and ran away as if a wild bull was chasing after him.

Coward.

Another scream and Lisa huffing proudly indicated that she had finished the last one off as well.

West, Lisa, and Len looked at each other, surveying their work before they all headed simultaneously towards the warehouse. No one else came across them in the ten remaining yards the crossed until they had reached the boarded-up door.

Of course, Nero wasn’t here himself.

Len tore at the iron-wrought chain on the lock before he took out his picking set and opened the padlock in a matter of seconds, the chain falling to the ground like an uncoiling snake.

He didn’t think anything he’d see inside would be able to throw him off-kilter anymore, now that they were so close. But the sight that greeted him was terrifying, nausea-inducing and just plainly _wrong_.

Like in the video, the room was completely empty except for a single chair standing in the middle of the room. And on the chair sat a man that was so clearly Barry, although he was cowered down in his seat, his ankles tied up at the legs of the chair and his wrists behind his back, both with broad, metallic cuffs. Around his neck was a collar not unlike a dog’s but it was of the same color and material as the cuffs binding him on the chair Len was sure this had to be the power-dampeners.

Suddenly, he saw red.

A blinding rage was filling him, narrowing his vision and leaving only room for one thought: revenge. Revenge, and the need to hurt those who hurt Barry at least a hundred times more.

“Len—” Lisa tried to say, her voice holding a warning tone, but he ignored her.

His focus was one the two men standing near Barry, the one obviously standing in front of him in order to guard him. Before he could do anything, Len had risen his gun and shot the man in the leg. His screams echoed in the vast room, mixed with Barry’s frightened cry.

“Snart!” West bellowed, but Len also ignored him.

He strode forwards, kicking the wailing goon in the abdomen for good measure as he walked past him before he raised his gun again and pointed it at the other goon.

The other, who was standing behind Barry, one hand resting on Barry’s shoulder, the other holding a gun which was trained to Barry’s head.

“Put the gun down.”

“Why should I? Do you really think you’re quicker at pulling the trigger than me?”

Slowly, he smirked, and seeing how the other’s expression morphed into uncertainty showed that it had the desired effect. “Look. Shoot him, or don’t, it’s your call. But, if you pull the trigger, be sure that I will hunt you down and test how much you can bear before you pass out. And when you wake up, I will it do all over again, and you will wish that I had killed you tonight.”

The man’s expression turned positively frightened. His hand quivered a little and the grip on his gun loosened.

“I’m taking a wild guess here and say that Nero hired you to watch over him.” He gestured towards Barry, not moving his gun away from the other. “So, you can think about it now. Is the money he gave you really worth it? You won’t be able to spend it, after all, if you kill him.”

He pulled his off Barry’s shoulder. Good. Now Len had him. “I’ll give you ten seconds to decide. And if you haven’t fucked off until then, you will have to suffer the consequences. Tick tock.”

The man gave him a last fearful look before he stepped away and broke into a run.

But Len didn’t—couldn’t let him get away this easily. With his back turned, the goon wasn’t able to see how Len aimed for his right shoulder, and the gunshot didn’t pose as a warning either. He went down in a yell of pain.

Having dealt with the threat, his shoulder’s sacked in relief.

“Was that really necessary?” West yelled angrily from behind him, but Len ignored him again. Instead, his only focus fell on the man before him.

“Barry,” he breathed. The adrenaline was leaving his body. He dashed forward. “Barry.”

“Len?” Barry said in a muffled tone through the gag he so obviously had in his mouth. He was crouching back in his chair, his body all tension and agony. His voice frightened like Len hadn’t heard it before.

“Yes.” He kneeled down next to him and pulled the black satchel off his head.

He would have screamed if he still had the energy to, but, the moment he saw Barry again, he internally made a vow to do whatever necessary to take Nero down and make him pay for what he did. Barry’s eyes were red and swollen, and the tear tracks down his face hadn’t completely dried yet. His lips were chopped, and the look in his eyes… the look of pure and all-consuming fear. No one should ever make his Scarlet Speedster look this way, no one.

And it was all Len’s fault. If he had had the guts, he could have avoided all of this from happening.

He quickly untied the dirty rag and threw it away, then took out his lock picking set and freed Barry of his cuffs.

“Len. You—you came.” His voice was raspy, from the lack of use or from crying, Len didn’t know. His hair was ruffled, and on his upper lip and nose were blotches of dried blood, evidence of nosebleed and likely hits he had had to take. Len’s vision was narrowing again.

“Of course I did.” Forty-three seconds and Barry was free. Too long.

“He—Nero said you’d—he said you came by and gave him the Rose and said… he said you said you didn’t care and left me here. He said he’d have fun with me tonight since you didn’t want me—”

“Shh, Barry, calm down.” His blood was boiling. “I’d never leave you. Not for him, not for the Rose, or some other precious jewelry, not for someone else, not to save myself.” He cradled Barry’s face in his hands and lightly caressed his cheek. He knew West was standing right behind him, being able to hear every word they were saying and being able to see everything that was going on, but Len couldn’t care less. Not right now.

“Barry, I—today when I didn’t know what had happened to you when you didn’t answer your phone, it was the worst day I had. And when Nero dropped that video, even then I couldn’t be sure he hadn’t harmed you.” And he so obviously had. “And it was the worst. I’ve barely ever… not knowing whether you were dead or alive.” He shook his head. “Barry, I’m so sorry I haven’t done something about Nero sooner. I’m sorry you had to go through this.”

The tears had stopped falling down Barry’s cheeks, and he just looked him with his eyes like green orbs, hiccupping. He placed his hands over Len’s. “It’s okay, Len. I’m okay. And I don’t blame you for anything because this is not your fault. You’re here, that’s all that matters.”

“You should. Blame me.” Len said firmly but at the same time pulled Barry into his arms, breathing in his scent, the way he felt, and overcome with the relief that he was okay.

West coughed discreetly behind them. Right. He’d probably want to hug his son, too.

“Come, let’s go.” Len helped Barry to get up. His steps were careful as if he didn’t trust his legs after hours of being held in an uncomfortable sitting position. Len put his arm around Barry’s waist and with the other, he took his hand. Lisa was standing in the doorway to the warehouse, her guns still out and on high alert if any of them should come back.

“Police will be here soon,” West said as he bridged the remaining distance between them and pulled Barry into his arms. “You okay, son?” Barry just nodded.

“Let’s get going. Nice to see you alive and running, Flash,” Lisa said with a wink that got at least a small smile out of Barry.

“Hi, Lisa.”

On the way back, Barry drove with Joe in the car while Lisa and Len sped off on their bikes. But during the entire drive, Len couldn’t get his blood pressure to drop to normal levels, still riling and ready to murder anyone who’d ever lay his hands on Barry ever again.

But frankly, there was very little he wouldn’t do for Barry.

Which was why it only made it a lot more his fault that Barry got kidnapped and hurt. Because he could have prevented it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you guys, do you remember me? It's been a long ass time, I know. And I don't have an excuse. Life sometimes just gets crazy and then spirals out of control. For quite the long time, I lacked motivation and inspiration to write at all, which is why I'm glad I finally managed to finish this chapter and figure out the way I want to finish this fic. (Which means I certainly won't abandon it, no matter how long it's going to take me to actually get the writing done.) If you're still with me—I want to thank you for not giving up, not this fic (nor me).
> 
> Now, I hope you enjoyed reading this! Let me know your thoughts <3 (I'm also on [tumblr](http://www.itsbrookeks.tumblr.com).)


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